Boston, MA

My wife isn't interested in sex after menopause

Published

5 days ago

September 4, 2024

My wife isn’t interested in sex after menopause

Hey everybody, can you take this survey? Some questions might not apply to you – or maybe they all will. We’re trying to get a sense of things over here at LL – to bring you the most happiness, etc.

My wife and I were married almost 30 years ago. We’re both in our mid-to-late 50s. We have two children and a relationship that I believe is stronger than most.

Now the hard part.

My wife is post-menopausal and has zero interest in intimacy. Planning date nights, romantic dinners, sharing in household chores, and putting my recreational activities second to her needs … all of that did nothing. I’m not a 10 in the looks department, so I work hard to overcompensate. I try to talk to my wife about this and get the same tired “it’s not you, it’s me.”

Lately the thought of a sexual relationship with someone else seems almost justified. I know it’s wrong and would devastate my wife and children. I love my wife very much and do not want to hurt her. She does not see this an issue.

I acknowledge how this reads – that it’s all about me. My wife is so far unwilling to discuss the matter.

Thank you for allowing me to express my feelings. I welcome any and all advice and feedback.

– The Issue

A bit of validation: it doesn’t sound like you’re only thinking about yourself. You’re worried about everyone. Missing physical intimacy doesn’t make you a selfish, terrible husband.

The issue here seems to be that your wife is unwilling to discuss the matter. Would she be open to speaking to a doctor about how menopause has affected her marriage? Would she talk to a therapist about how a partnership can adapt to a shift in physical needs?

I’m not saying there’s a magic fix for this, but the fact that she won’t address it … it’s troubling.

Make that the big request. Ask her if she’ll join you in therapy. If she won’t, go by yourself and maybe she’ll come along at some point. With guidance in real time, the path might become clear.

Also know that a physical relationship with someone else might not have to be a cheat. Couples have open arrangements. There are ways to do this with everyone’s consent. (The kids and their feelings don’t have to be part of it.)

But before you get to that step, tell her you need help. Explain that she can support you by showing up.

– Meredith

Readers? How do you talk about this? People who’ve lost (or found) their drive, any advice about what to say? How to approach? How you handled this?

I’d love to read your question. Send your own letter by using the anonymous form or email [email protected]. Let’s start a new season with a fresh look on everything.

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Boston, MA

Harris, Trump set to meet in key debate

Published

2 hours ago

September 8, 2024

Press Room

Vice President Kamala Harris and former President Donald Trump are set to square off in the only scheduled presidential debate Tuesday night in Philadelphia, an event that will kick off an aggressive sprint toward Election Day.

Originally Published: September 8, 2024 at 8:54 p.m.

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Boston, MA

Boston College is back in AP Top 25 after 2-0 start under Bill O’Brien

Published

10 hours ago

September 8, 2024

Press Room

Boston College is back in AP Top 25 after 2-0 start under Bill O’Brien

BOSTON — Boston College is not only 2-0 to start the Bill O’Brien era, but the Eagles have now landed in the AP Top 25. Boston College was ranked No. 24 in the country in Sunday’s Week 3 rankings.

This marks the first time that Boston College has cracked the AP Top 25 since Week 4 of the 2018 season.

The Eagles are flying high under O’Brien, the former Patriots offensive coordinator who took over after last year’s head coach Jeff Hafley left for the NFL to become the defensive coordinator in Green Bay. After kicking the season off with a 28-13 win over then-No. 10 ranked Florida State last Monday night, Boston College followed that up by trouncing Duquesne, 56-0, in Chestnut Hill on Saturday afternoon.

BC quarterback Thomas Castellanos threw for 234 yards and four touchdowns, while the Eagles also ran for 306 yards and three touchdowns on their 46 rushing attempts in the blowout victory at Alumni Stadium.

On the rise 📈
Eagles land in the latest @AP_Top25 poll! pic.twitter.com/WLDvwXh3B3
— Boston College Football (@BCFootball) September 8, 2024

The Boston College defense held Duquesne to just 137 total yards (75 passing yards, 62 rushing yards) of offense on Saturday. The Dukes were 1-for-12 on third down against the Eagles. Boston College has held its opponents to just 4-for-26 on third down so far this season.

Boston College is now one of four ACC teams to be in the Top 25, along with Miami (10), Louisville (19), and Clemson (22). The Eagles have a huge road game in Week 3, when they visit the No. 6 Missouri Tigers next Saturday.

Matt Geagan

Matthew Geagan is a sports producer for CBS Boston. He has been part of the WBZ sports team for nearly 20 years. He moved over to the web in 2012 and has covered all the highs (and a few lows) in Boston sports.

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Boston, MA

MLB Notes: Red Sox trade deadline has proven disastrous

Published

17 hours ago

September 8, 2024

Press Room

MLB Notes: Red Sox trade deadline has proven disastrous

When the Red Sox opted to buy at the trade deadline, they swung several trades they hoped would set the club up for a big second half. Those moves have not worked out.