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We began with a dream to make it simpler to self-report errors you haven’t made but.
Pre-pology’s handy dashboard helps you to monitor, handle, and redress all of your notional boners. In just a few faucets, atone for something you’ll make bizarre, most likely, whether or not a piece assembly or Friendsgiving.
Will you butcher the vibe at your cousin-in-law’s homicide thriller get together? You don’t know. That’s the purpose. Relay essentially the most superior warning about taking part an excessive amount of, taking part too little, or other forms of taking part. Pre-pology’s algorithm won’t ever be overwhelmed. Plus, you are able to do it from the consolation of your own home and as much as a full calendar yr forward of the incident.
To get began along with your Pre-pology, merely faucet the button that claims, Oh God. Schedule it to reach any time prematurely of proper now — months, weeks, or mere seconds. Subsequent, select your matter from the drop-down menu. We have now preloaded the most typical hypothetical offenses. You’ll be able to Pre-pologize for:
▪ Being horrible with names
▪ Being a downer
▪ Not staying lengthy
▪ Feeling underdressed
▪ The odor within the toilet
▪ Bringing somebody nobody likes
▪ A sizzling dish you cooked
▪ A sizzling dish you didn’t prepare dinner
▪ Not being a sizzling dish
▪ This mess
Pre-pology can also be nice for expressing contrition about presumptive boo-boos at work! If historical past is something to go by, you’ll need to Pre-pologize for breaches that embrace:
▪ The lengthy e-mail
▪ Dipping out early
▪ Your laryngitis
▪ If some individuals have already requested this
▪ If some individuals have already heard this
▪ If some individuals should go
After you’ve chosen your Pre-pology and supply time, merely reply the 50 insecurity questions, together with “Why am I like this?” and “Am I making this much more bizarre?”
Verify your cellphone to your distinctive insecurity code.
Obtain your affirmation — when you’ve heard that your Pre-pology has been accepted, you’ll unlock the flexibility to speak with acquaintances and colleagues like an everyday individual for as much as half-hour.
Nevertheless it by no means ends there, in fact! That’s why your Put up-pology is all the time included, so go forward and amend or prolong your Pre-pology later, wherever you’re, even as much as a yr after an occasion. Put up-pologies are good for:
▪ Burp-talking
▪ Displaying up empty-handed
▪ Not even asking how you’re doing
▪ Having mentioned, “You, too!” at one thing bizarre
▪ Having been not sure if somebody was pregnant, divorced, alive, and so forth.
▪ Black bean tooth the complete time
▪ Performing cool
The underside line? Life strikes quick, however the enterprise of being an individual who does individual issues with different individuals shouldn’t be difficult. No extra looking for the suitable phrases. Get our eye-contact-less system at the moment. As a result of let’s face it: Irrespective of who you’re, you’ll most likely do lots you have to be sorry for — so get began now with Pre-pology.
However solely if you need! It’s advantageous if you happen to’re not into it. Actually no worries, if not.
Kathy Flann is a humor author whose work has appeared in The Washington Put up, The Baltimore Solar, McSweeney’s, Weekly Humorist, and elsewhere. She is the writer of 4 books, the latest of which is “How one can Survive a Human Assault: A Information for Werewolves, Mummies, Cyborgs, Ghosts, Nuclear Mutants, and Different Film Monsters.” She teaches inventive writing at Johns Hopkins College.
Following a round of layoffs across Beasley Media Group radio stations, the company has reported a 6% drop in revenue amid a decline in audio advertising.
A day after the parent company of 98.5 The Sports Hub and other Boston stations cut 7% of its workforce, the radio conglomerate released its first quarter financial report.
Beasley’s net revenue during the first three months of the year was $54.4 million — a 5.9% decrease from the previous year’s first quarter revenue of $57.8 million.
Beasley reported an operating loss of $1.1 million in the first quarter, compared to operating income of $0.4 million in the first quarter last year.
The Florida-based company cited a “decline in audio advertising and other revenue due to Beasley’s Wilmington station and esports divestitures as well as ongoing softness in the commercial advertising business, partially offset by growth in digital and political advertising revenue.”
On Tuesday, longtime local DJs were let go by Beasley amid the rash of company layoffs. Those employees who were laid off include Country 102.5 DJ Jackson Blue and 105.7 WROR’s Jaybeau Jones.
Beasley in the first quarter also reported net income of about $8,000, or $0.00 per diluted share — compared to last year’s net loss of $3.5 million, or $0.12 per diluted share. The year-over-year improvement was primarily due to the $6 million gain on the sale of an investment in Broadcast Music, Inc. holdings and lower interest expense.
“In summary, Beasley’s underlying fundamentals — mainly, our local audio and digital platforms and audience engagement — remain strong,” CEO Caroline Beasley said in a statement.
“We are proud of our teams’ steadfast commitment to delivering exceptional content and services to our listeners, advertisers, online users and sports fans, and remain confident that the actions we are taking to transform our company and strengthen our balance sheet, are laying the foundation for future growth and success,” the CEO added.
Other first quarter stats that the company highlighted include:
The highest-paid mayor in the U.S. could soon come from a coastal New England town best known for its naval warship museum and ties to two U.S. presidents.
Quincy, a Boston suburb with a population of about 100,000, is preparing to sign off on a recommended 87% to 133% pay increase for its long-serving mayor, Thomas Koch.
Koch, who started his seventh term this year, currently makes about $159,000 has not taken a pay raise in nearly a decade. He took office in 2008.
“By any standard, that’s a bit of a long period of time, particularly given some of the price level changes we’ve had recently,” consultants hired to assess his salary said at last week’s city council meeting. “Setting a static level and leaving it static for nine years, like has been the case, is probably not optimal.”
The potential raise was not reflected in the proposed budget brought to the council on May 6. Koch said he will be “bringing in a separate order the next council meeting” on May 20 “to deal with the mayor’s and the city councilors’ raises.”
“We’ll make the adjustment as needed in the budget,” Koch said Monday night.
Dorminson Consulting of Boston suggested officials consider a $298,000 to $370,000 salary for Koch. The proposed $370,000 salary would be a $211,000 raise, or about a 133% increase from Koch’s current pay. If the council signs off on the higher end of the suggested range, it would make Koch the highest paid mayor in America.
The firm told the councilors they took into account the city’s population, consumer price index and a survey of more than 1,200 mayors and city managers’ salaries.
At Monday’s city council meeting, Koch called Quincy’s budget “stable,” with the city not needing to make any layoffs or cuts, unlike many of its neighbors.
“Quincy’s been on a pretty good run. We don’t live here, but we are financial economists at heart, and we know what we’re looking at. You’re on a good run,” the consultants told officials. “The consequential effects of trying to undercut quality is going to be tough to overcome.”
Quincy is the seventh-largest city in Massachusetts. A one-time major producer of granite, the city touts its status as the birthplace of former Presidents John Adams and his son John Quincy Adams as well as John Hancock. Perhaps more culturally important for Massachusetts residents, it’s also where Dunkin’ Donuts was founded.
The mayor of San Francisco, London Breed, is currently the highest earning mayor in the country, with a salary of about $357,000. Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass comes in second with a salary of $301,000.
New York City Mayor Eric Adams was the city’s 418th highest-paid employee in 2023, with a salary of about $258,000.
In 2022, Boston Mayor Michelle Wu’s salary was upped to to $250,000 starting in 2026. Massachusetts’ second-largest city, Worcester, pays City Manager Eric Batista a salary of $313,000.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
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