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'Tired. Damn tired.' Some Black women are processing the grief of a Kamala Harris loss

Published

1 year ago

November 28, 2024

'Tired. Damn tired.' Some Black women are processing the grief of a Kamala Harris loss

Venita Doggett in her backyard garden in Memphis, Tenn., on Nov. 26. She said the day after election day was hard for me. “I got up and saw the headline that he had won, that Trump had won. And I was just despondent.”

Ariel J. Cobbert for NPR

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Ariel J. Cobbert for NPR

There was a refrain we heard again and again from the seven Black women NPR talked with for this story.

“It is exhausting,” says Venita Doggett, who lives in Memphis, Tenn., and works for a nonprofit doing education advocacy.

Vice President Harris boards Air Force Two in Middletown, Pa., on Oct. 30, 2024.

“We’re tired. We’re damn tired,” another woman told us. She asked NPR not to use her name because she works in Diversity, Equity and Inclusion at a public university in Minnesota, and she fears that a lot of people who work in and around DEI are being targeted right now.

This feeling of being under threat as a Black person, as a woman, and especially as a Black woman feels non-stop, she says, even before the presidential election.

“On November 6th, I was exhausted. I didn’t realize how much it felt like I was holding my breath.”

According to the Pew Research Center, 84% of Black women are Democrats or lean that way. Black women voted for Vice President Kamala Harris in high numbers this year; exit polls show their support at over 90%. Now, many of them are grieving the loss of a candidate who would have been the nation’s first Black, female president. At the same time they are bracing themselves for what might happen under the second presidency of Donald Trump.

The woman from Minnesota says there’s constant pressure to engage politically, an unrelenting narrative that Black women will save democracy. But she asks, who is going to save Black women?

“Thinking about this demand of Black women to step up to the plate and do this work always without wavering. And I’m, you know — there’s going to be some wavering.”

Venita Doggett in her backyard garden in Memphis, Tenn., on Nov. 26.

Ariel J. Cobbert for NPR

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Ariel J. Cobbert for NPR

She says she’s found herself pulling back a little after the election, spending time with her family, with her community, and with herself.

“In a world that often boxes us in and beats us down, we can’t act like we’re not bruised,” she says. “We have to take care of ourselves. We have to tend to our wounds.”

“You definitely hate Black women”

Doggett went to sleep early on election night. She says she just didn’t want to watch.

“I got up and saw the headline that he had won, that Trump had won. And I was just despondent,” Doggett says.

“I also told my advocate friends that I had the audacity to hope, and I am mad at myself for having it.”

“Wednesday evening, I broke.” She says Trump winning the popular vote felt personal.

A poll worker monitors voting at a polling place at the Arizona State University campus, Tuesday, Nov. 5, 2024, in Phoenix, Ariz.

“I just thought, like, you definitely hate Black women,” she says, referring to the many people who voted for Trump, and against Harris. “You really hate us. Us, who essentially birthed the nation literally out of our bodies — snatched children out of our wombs to build the U.S.”

But it’s not just Black people she’s worried about now, she says. A lot of her teenage daughter’s friends come from immigrant mixed-status families, and with Trump’s plans for mass deportations, she says she is terrified for them.

“Is that the legacy of fear that we want to impart upon people,” she asks. “And why are we okay with it?”

Grief, betrayal and moving forward

“I probably really have not processed the grief yet,” Bonita Buford says. Buford is the CEO of the Gantt Center for African-American Arts and Culture in Charlotte, N.C.

“Maybe it’s hope that I’m mourning,” she says. “Maybe it was a little kind of disappointment in humanity.”

Buford says she also feels betrayed, especially by white women voters.

Bonita Buford, President of the Harvey B. Gantt Center for African-American Arts and Culture, stands for a portrait at the Gantt Center on Nov. 26 in Charlotte, N.C.

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Cornell Watson for NPR

“When you think about white women specifically, who were voting early and talking about, you know, ‘well, I voted for her… I’m not going to tell my husband.’ So, were those all lies?” she asks.

According to exit polls conducted by Edison Research, 53% of white women voters picked Trump this year. The same poll showed more Latinos and Black men also voted for him than in previous elections. Still, the majority of Latinos and Black men voted for Harris.

Buford says right now she’s focusing on what she can do. She says her work leading a Black arts organization is more important than ever. Art can disarm people, she says.

“I sometimes say it’s a sneaky way to make change.”

Vice President Harris delivers her concession speech on the campus of Howard University in Washington, D.C.

Doggett says as a Black woman, it sometimes does not feel like she has time to rest, let alone grieve.

She fears Black women and other historically marginalized communities will be most impacted by Trump and his allies’ proposed policies, from education to policing.

“There’s just a lot of burnout.”

She says she is turning to family and friends to recharge. She’s thinking about what outfit she will wear to a “friendsgiving,” and about which show to binge watch over the holiday.

“I spent a lot of time in my garden,” Doggett says. “I don’t know any other place except to find solace in the world that, you know, the land — that has given birth to us all. “

“At the end of the day, if there’s still some light out, I’ll go outside and just sit and stare at the flowers.”

NPR producer Walter Ray Watson contributed reporting.

News

Map: 4.9-Magnitude Earthquake Shakes Louisiana

Published

9 hours ago

March 5, 2026

Press Room

Map: 4.9-Magnitude Earthquake Shakes Louisiana

Note: Map shows the area with a shake intensity of 4 or greater, which U.S.G.S. defines as “light,” though the earthquake may be felt outside the areas shown. All times on the map are Central time. The New York Times

A light, 4.9-magnitude earthquake struck in Louisiana on Thursday, according to the United States Geological Survey.

The temblor happened at 5:30 a.m. Central time about 6 miles west of Edgefield, La., data from the agency shows.

U.S.G.S. data earlier reported that the magnitude was 4.4.

As seismologists review available data, they may revise the earthquake’s reported magnitude. Additional information collected about the earthquake may also prompt U.S.G.S. scientists to update the shake-severity map.

Source: United States Geological Survey | Notes: Shaking categories are based on the Modified Mercalli Intensity scale. When aftershock data is available, the corresponding maps and charts include earthquakes within 100 miles and seven days of the initial quake. All times above are Central time. Shake data is as of Thursday, March 5 at 8:40 a.m. Eastern. Aftershocks data is as of Thursday, March 5 at 10:46 a.m. Eastern.

News

Donald Trump has no ‘phase two’ plan for Iran war, says US senator

Published

11 hours ago

March 5, 2026

Press Room

Donald Trump has no ‘phase two’ plan for Iran war, says US senator

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News

Man accused of plot to assassinate Trump testifies Iran pressured him, says Biden and Haley were other possible targets

Published

11 hours ago

March 5, 2026

Press Room

Man accused of plot to assassinate Trump testifies Iran pressured him, says Biden and Haley were other possible targets

The allegation sounded like the stuff of spy movies: A Pakistani businessman trying to hire hit men, even handing them $5,000 in cash, to kill a U.S. politician on behalf of Iran ‘s powerful paramilitary Revolutionary Guard.

It was true, and potential targets of the 2024 scheme included now-President Donald Trump, then-President Joe Biden and former presidential candidate and ex-U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley, the man told jurors at his attempted terrorism trial in New York on Wednesday. But he insisted his actions were driven by fear for loved ones in Iran, and he figured he’d be apprehended before anything came of the scheme.

“My family was under threat, and I had to do this,” the defendant, Asif Merchant, testified through an Urdu interpreter. “I was not wanting to do this so willingly.”

Merchant said he had anticipated getting arrested before anyone was killed, intended to cooperate with the U.S. government and had hoped that would help him get a green card.

U.S. authorities were, indeed, on to him – the supposed hit men he paid were actually undercover FBI agents – and he was arrested on July 12, 2024, a day before an unrelated attempt on Trump’s life in Butler, Pennsylvania. During a search, investigators said they found a handwritten note that contained the codewords for the various aspects of the plot, CBS News previously reported.

Merchant did sit for voluntary FBI interviews, but he ultimately ended up with a trial, not a cooperation deal.

“You traveled to the United States for the purpose of hiring Mafia members to kill a politician, correct?” Assistant U.S. Attorney Nina Gupta asked during her turn questioning Merchant Wednesday in a Brooklyn federal court.

“That’s right,” Merchant replied, his demeanor as matter-of-fact as his testimony was unusual.

The trial is unfolding amid the less than week-old Iran war, which killed Iranian Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei in a strike that Trump summed up as “I got him before he got me.” Jurors are instructed to ignore news pertaining to the case.

The Iranian government has denied plotting to kill Trump or other U.S. officials.

Merchant, 47, had a roughly 20-year banking career in Pakistan before getting involved in an array of businesses: clothing, car sales, banana exports, insulation imports. He openly has two families, one in Pakistan and the other in Iran – where, he said, he was introduced around the end of 2022 to a Revolutionary Guard intelligence operative. They initially spoke about getting involved in a hawala, an informal money transfer system, Merchant said.

Merchant testified that his periodic visits to the U.S. for his garment business piqued the interest of his Revolutionary Guard contact, who trained him on countersurveillance techniques.

The U.S. deems the Revolutionary Guard a “foreign terrorist organization.” Formally called the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps, the force has been prominent in Iran under Khamenei.

Merchant said the handler told him to seek U.S. residents interested in working for Iran. Then came another assignment: Look for a criminal to arrange protests, steal things, do some money laundering, “and maybe have somebody murdered,” Merchant recalled.

“He did not tell me exactly who it is, but he told me – he named three people: Donald Trump, Joe Biden and Nikki Haley,” he added.

In 2024, multiple sources familiar with the investigation told CBS News Merchant planned to assassinate current and former government officials across the political spectrum.

Merchant allegedly sketched out the plot on a napkin inside his New York hotel room, prosecutors said, and told the individual “that there would be ‘security all around’ the person” they were planning to kill.

“No other option”

After U.S. immigration agents pulled Merchant aside at the Houston airport in April 2024, searched his possessions and asked about his travels to Iran, he concluded that he was under surveillance. But still he researched Trump rally locations, sketched out a plot for a shooting at a political rally, lined up the supposed hit men and scrambled together $5,000 from a cousin to pay them a “token of appreciation.”

This image provided by the Justice Department, contained in the complaint supporting the arrest warrant, shows Asif Merchant.

He even reported back to his Revolutionary Guard contact, sending observations – fake, Merchant said – tucked into a book that he shipped to Iran through a series of intermediaries.

Merchant said he “had no other option” than to play along because the handler had indicated that he knew who Merchant’s Iranian relatives were and where they lived.

In a court filing this week, prosecutors noted that Merchant didn’t seek out law enforcement to help with his purported predicament before he was arrested. He testified that he couldn’t turn to authorities because his handler had people watching him.

Prosecutors also said that in his FBI interviews, Merchant “neglected to mention any facts that could have supported” an argument that he acted under duress.

Merchant told jurors Wednesday that he didn’t think agents would believe his story, because their questions suggested “they think that I’m some type of super-spy.”

“And are you a super-spy?” defense lawyer Avraham Moskowitz asked.

“No,” Merchant said. “Absolutely not.”

Robert Legare

contributed to this report.