Lifestyle
Tradwife life isn't as good as it looks on TikTok – just ask former tradwives

Sharon Johnson, a mom of six in Utah, now identifies as an “ex-tradwife.”
Lindsey Stewart
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Lindsey Stewart
Jennie Gage still remembers an assignment she was given in kindergarten: What did she want to be when she grew up? She wrote that she wanted to be president.
“I brought it home, and instead of my mom being proud, she cried,” Gage said. “She said, ‘Jennie, you’re not gonna be the president when you grow up. You’re going to be a mommy, like me. Heavenly Father made you to be a mommy.’”
Gage grew up in the Mormon church. She got married while she was a student at Brigham Young University-Idaho. She said her husband discouraged her from finishing her degree; instead, they started a business together. When church leaders found out, she said they asked her to step down from the business and to focus on her family. So Gage agreed, and she raised her five children.
“I did all of the housekeeping, all of the decorating, all of the furnishing, all of the cooking, the shopping, taking care of kids, getting them to all their different sports and practices and school and homework,” she said.
Gage said her relationship was also abusive. She left the church and then left her husband. At the time, she was living in her car and feeling isolated, so she started posting on social media about what she was going through. Then, she saw tradwives trending on TikTok.
“The first time I ever saw Ballerina Farm, I didn’t realize she was Mormon. I didn’t realize she was rich,” said Gage. “She just came up in my algorithm, and I had a visceral response. I was furious.”
Ballerina Farm, the account run by content creator Hannah Neeleman, boasts nearly 10 million followers. In her videos, Neeleman posts about raising her eight children on a farm with her husband, Daniel Neeleman, whose father founded JetBlue and several other commercial airlines. Hannah Neeleman is widely considered to be one of the faces of the tradwife movement, which embraces a return to traditional gender roles. (Neeleman, in a controversial profile by The Times, said she is not sure she “necessarily identifies” with the label.)
So Gage posted her own video in response, saying: “I’m an ex-tradwife. I work three minimum wage jobs just to pay my rent.” She said it’s part of the financial reality of being a single mom without a college degree. Her TikTok video, which has now racked up over 1 million views, is one example of a growing phenomenon: ex-tradwives who try to de-influence the lifestyle by sharing why it didn’t work for them. Editor’s note: this video contains language that may be offensive.
Tradwives … and girlbosses
Since 2020, tradwives have become wildly popular on social media. Creators like Neeleman, Nara Smith and Estee Williams post videos of their day-to-day routines, often cooking elaborate meals or doing chores in beautiful outfits.
Several experts say tradwives and their renewed focus on family values are the direct aftermath of decades of “lean in” feminism, which eventually lead to a do-it-all mentality. Cinzia Solari, a sociologist at the University of Massachusetts Boston and co-author of the book The Gender Order of Neoliberalism, says the result of that mindset is a deep disillusionment with gender disparity in the workplace, paired with a growing sense of burnout from trying to do it all. “It doesn’t turn out to be sustainable,” she said. “Folks are exhausted.”
So what we’re left with, she said, are two identities that appear to be on polar ends of a spectrum: “girlbosses” who prioritize their careers over marriage and kids, and tradwives who do the opposite. But Smitha Radhakrishnan, a sociologist at Wellesley College and Solari’s co-author, said they’re actually not so different. “Tradwives and girlbosses end up in the same quadrant,” she said. “They are actually both trying to cut their work in half.”
Although tradwives are making an appeal for a return to gender roles from the 1950s – or in Ballerina Farm’s case, a return to the Laura Ingalls Wilder/homesteader pioneering era – Radhakrishnan and Solari say a key aspect of the lifestyle is the element of choice. Women are choosing to opt out of the professional world and prioritize domestic life, and for many tradwife creators, that choice carries an element of empowerment. Radhakrishnan said this is especially true for Black women who’ve been historically forced to work in the United States.
Jacqueline Beatty, who teaches history at York College of Pennsylvania and wrote about tradwives for TIME Magazine, said the rise of tradwives also coalesces with renewed interest in the role of men as protectors. She points to comments made by President-elect Donald Trump on the campaign trail, in which he vowed to protect women “whether they like it or not.” She said these attitudes, reflected by tradlife roles for both men and women, are reminiscent of 18th-century legal customs that placed married women under the protection and authority of their husbands. It left women unable to own property or have any legal independence from men, and set a precedent of social and political inequality.
“It’s a way to also keep their agitation for political rights at bay,” said Beatty. “You have this very special and even more important role of being a wife and mother. The vote compared to that is negligible.”
‘I wasn’t oppressed’
Sharon Johnson, another ex-tradwife with a following of more than 600,000 on TikTok, said that’s part of the reason she originally didn’t identify with the trad label. “I didn’t think that I fit into that narrative at all,” she said. “That wasn’t my life. I wasn’t oppressed. I chose this life.” Editor’s note: this video contains language that may be offensive.
But Johnson said that all started to change when she and her husband left the Mormon church three years ago. Not long after, her husband got laid off from his job — and she said it broke their family dynamic wide open. He started taking on more responsibility at home and with their six kids, while she started monetizing her social media and co-hosting a podcast to make ends meet.
“Both of us stopped having this pressure of these roles we had to play,” she said. “We are learning to have more healthy relationships with not only each other, but with our kids.”
She acknowledged that it’s not an easy transition to make; she said it’s taken a lot of therapy and teamwork to rebuild their life together. Johnson still has many friends and family members who are tradwives — and the biggest trad creators have not openly addressed the ex-trad phenomenon. But Johnson said she’s found a lot of healing and catharsis in a growing community of women on social media who are looking for a new kind of middle ground.
“I am a completely different person than I was three years ago, and our marriage is completely different, everything for the better,” she said. “I feel like I am a person, and a wife and a mother second.”
Jennifer Vanasco edited the radio and digital versions of this story.

Lifestyle
Asian American Women Are Redefining the ‘Old’ in Grandmother’s Gold

Chokers encrusted with rubies. Strands of bright emeralds. Delicate headpieces framed by opalescent pearls. These are just some of the golden treasures belonging to her mother that Farah Khalid long admired — and knew she would one day inherit.
That day, however, came far too soon. Khalid’s mother unexpectedly became ill and split her collection between Khalid and her older sister, Lubna, before dying in 2013. Then, in 2021, Khalid inherited the rest of her mother’s items when Lubna died at 47.
Khalid wanted to honor her family members by wearing their jewelry, but she typically preferred silver. She decided to take some of the smaller trinkets to Lahore, Pakistan, and remake them into a chain with her mother’s and sister’s names translated into Urdu. The necklace was washed to tone down the yellow hues, so she could wear it more frequently.
“Having their names on me out of something that they used to wear — it just felt really important to be close to them in that way,” said Khalid, 48, a film director who lives in Brooklyn.
Passing down gold is a common practice among many Asian families. The precious metal isn’t just a superfluous adornment; it’s seen as a liquid asset: something that can be traded, act as collateral or melted down and sold. In pop culture, gold has even become something of its own character: Consider the mangalsutra, a traditional Indian necklace representing marriage, in the Netflix hit TV show, “Never Have I Ever,” and the 2025 rom-com “Picture This,” in which Simone Ashley plays a financially struggling photographer who must marry in order to access her family’s heirloom jewelry.
For many Asian American women like Khalid, coming into these accessories from their mothers or grandmothers prompt questions about how to bring the past into the present. Many women simply stow away these delicate heirlooms in safe deposit boxes of their own. Others save the jewelry for special occasions like their weddings. Some have even reshaped them into more contemporary, wearable pieces. Here are four other women and the stories their gold jewelry tell.
‘Tiny Little Piece of History’
Alicia Penn, 42, Charleston, S.C.
Growing up in Baltimore, Alicia Penn and her siblings would make routine stops at a jewelry store with their mother after visiting the temple. Her mother would spend an hour haggling with the owners, family friends who were also Cambodian, to buy gold accessories that she had no intention of keeping. Instead she would wear a piece until a friend showed interest in buying it, then resell it for a profit.
Penn never gave a second thought to what her mother did. “She explained it as a way to invest and enjoy buying stuff,” Penn said. “I thought it was an interesting way to think about investing, as opposed to traditional stocks and bonds.”
What Penn didn’t know then was that the Khmer Rouge, which was responsible for the deaths of at least 1.7 million Cambodians, had abolished Cambodia’s currency, making gold even more valuable. Penn’s parents left the country before the most brutal years, 1975 to 1979, but her maternal grandmother wasn’t as lucky.
She eventually made it to the United States in 1980 and helped raise Penn and her siblings until she died when Penn was still a child. Penn learned the story of how her grandmother escaped in 2022 during a visit to her mother’s bank locker, where she was invited to select a piece of jewelry: a tiny flat piece of gold in the shape of a mermaid.
“I’d never seen anything like it before,” Penn said.
The jewelry was one of two remaining charms of a gold belt that once belonged to her grandmother. She had sold and bartered pieces of the belt, made up of charms linked together, to escape the genocidal killing fields and flee to Thailand on foot.
Penn wears the charm on a heavy gold chain with a malleable hook enclosure. “It’s this tiny little piece of history that you can’t replicate,” Penn said. “Nobody makes things like this anymore.”
‘I Want to Wear It’
Nigar Iqbal Flores, 39, Clovis, Calif.
Marrying a man outside her Pakistani heritage has complicated the issue of who might inherit Nigar Iqbal Flores’s familial gold, compounded even further by the couple having three boys. “One issue that I have to think through is: Are my kids going to marry a Desi girl who would appreciate this jewelry?” Flores said. “Or are they going to marry a Desi girl who does not appreciate it?”
Her children are still young, but the questions do offer an opportunity for a new tradition, already a familiar concept in her family.
When Flores’s parents got married in Karachi, her paternal family insisted that her mother not work. She defied them, becoming a professor of home economics, and spent her first paycheck on an emerald set, including a necklace, earrings, a tikka (headpiece) and a ring.
“When I was a little kid, I remember being like, What a weird set because circles are not a traditional shape,” Flores said. The reason, her mother said, was that she had designed them herself.
Her mother gave Flores the set the day after her own wedding in 2012. Now Flores is on the lookout to wear her mother’s emerald jewelry to as many formal occasions as she can. “I only buy green shalwar kameez now,” she said, referring to the traditional outfit of loose trousers and a long shirt. “Because I want to wear it.”
Something Reimagined
Robin Kasner, 41, Chicago
Robin Kasner remembers her 16th birthday being a bit of an ordeal. She was given a jade bangle that was measured so closely to her wrist that she needed the help of her popo (maternal grandmother), her mother, some oil and a plastic bag to slip it on. “I never took it off for 20 years,” Kasner said. “Until it shattered.”
A spontaneous visit to a batting cage led to it splitting it into four pieces. Kasner called her mother in tears, who didn’t mirror her panic. She said that in Chinese culture, when jade breaks, it’s a form of protection, and she advised Kasner to keep the pieces. But Kasner was determined to find a way to salvage it for posterity.
She came across Spur, a jeweler based in New York that reimagines heirlooms as everyday pieces. The broken bangle was remade into something else entirely: a smooth, curved jade pendant attached to a 22-karat gold chain. “I love that the broken piece was made into a new piece, and that it’s something that I can hopefully pass along to my future daughter,” Kasner said.
An ‘Acceptance of the Relationship’
Lisa Kumar, 51, Franklin, Mich.
As a child, Lisa Kumar didn’t love the yellow gold she associated with Indian jewelry. But as her mother, now 83, began bequeathing more and more pieces to her, she finally came around. For Kumar, the jewelry offers a reminder of having been hard-won.
Kumar’s father came as a student in the 1960s to the United States from Mumbai. He soon met her mother, who is white and American, and they fell in love and got married — a decision that his parents weren’t pleased about. The couple made a trip to India shortly after their nuptials to meet the family, and, when it was time to leave, Kumar’s mother decided to stay behind for almost two months to travel around southern India with her new in-laws. “That was a really pivotal moment in her relationship with them because they didn’t think that she could hack it,” Kumar said. “And she did.”
Over the following years, Kumar’s grandmother gave her daughter-in-law jewelry: heavier pieces but also simple things she could wear, like half a set of gold bangles. “My grandmother giving all of this over to her was a sign of acceptance of the relationship, acceptance of my mother,” Kumar said.
Now Kumar tries to wear the accessories whenever she can and plans to pass them on to her own daughter, who is 20 and mostly wears silver. “I’m hopeful that as she ages,” Kumar said, “she’ll come around to it the way that I have.”
This story is part of a series on how Asian Americans are shaping American popular culture. The series is funded through a grant from The Asian American Foundation. Funders have no control over the selection and focus of stories or the editing process and do not review stories before publication. The Times retains full editorial control of this series.
Lifestyle
How to have the best Sunday in L.A., according to Taylor Tomlinson

Taylor Tomlinson, the comedian and writer who has hosted the CBS talk and variety show “After Midnight” for two seasons, has lived in Los Angeles for nine years. But thanks to a robust stand-up schedule (her now-in-progress Save Me tour has 76 dates booked across North America and Europe through January, including an L.A. hometown show scheduled for Aug. 10 at the Greek Theatre), she’s only around L.A. for about 20 Sundays a year.

In Sunday Funday, L.A. people give us a play-by-play of their ideal Sunday around town. Find ideas and inspiration on where to go, what to eat and how to enjoy life on the weekends.
“I try to do two weekends on the road a month,” Tomlinson said. “But sometimes it ends up being three. Usually my Sundays are spent flying home, and I’m doing my leisurely things on a Tuesday at noon.”
She was more than happy to plot out a Sunday plan that doesn’t involve “a layover sitting in a coffee shop in the Phoenix airport.” It would start with making some matcha and head toward a close with sushi and a movie. In between, she’d hit a flea market, a bookstore (to score some spiral-ring notebooks) and the outdoor spaces at the Huntington.
This interview has been lightly edited and condensed for length and clarity.
9 a.m.: Whisk up some morning matcha
In my perfect world, I’d fall asleep at midnight and get nine hours of sleep, which would be perfect. I am not somebody who can handle coffee because I get headaches. So I usually make matcha at home with unsweetened almond milk, and I add cinnamon and usually use a little bit of vanilla protein shake as creamer in it. And I do it iced.
I go to a lot of coffee shops when I’m on the road and always have to ask if their matcha is presweetened, because a lot of places make it with honey or sugar already in it. But more mainstream places are getting unsweetened, ceremonial-grade matcha, and that’s what I use. I’ve got one of those bamboo whisks, and I like the whole routine of boiling water and then whisking in the matcha powder. I really feel like I’m doing something.
9:30 a.m.: Back to bed with a book
Then I’d bring my matcha back to the bed and I’d read for a bit. I really struggle with letting myself read for fun because, for a long time, I wouldn’t read anything that wasn’t teaching me something or had some sort of self-improvement element to it or was about comedy or business.
I’m working on a book of my own right now, so I’m currently reading Chuck Palahniuk‘s “Consider This: Moments in My Writing Life After Which Everything Was Different,” and for fun I’m reading “The Dragon Republic,” the second book in R.F. Kuang’s “The Poppy War” series.

10:15 a.m.: Self-scramble some breakfast
I like going out to breakfast when I’m on the road but, when I’m home, I like to cook for myself. So I’ll do a scramble with some eggs, turkey, zucchini, spinach and bell pepper and then top it with some avocado.

11:45 a.m.: Make for the Melrose Trading Post
This might [sound like] a really basic Sunday, but I’m not in L.A. very much. So I would go to the Melrose Trading Post [flea market] over at Fairfax High School with some friends because it’s a way to socialize. Zach Noe Towers and Sophie Buddle and I do [stand-up comedy on] the road a lot together, and when we’re home on a weekend, this is something we do together.
I’ve bought a lot of leather jackets there. I have way too many jackets — an insane collection of jackets. It’s a real problem. I bought a weird lamp there. I think the last thing I bought there was this wardrobe [from J. Martin Furniture] that was green, and they said they would paint it any color I wanted and have it delivered. So I had them paint it a dusty rose that matches the flowers on these vintage pillows I had just gotten for my bed. The wardrobe fills out the one blank wall I had left in the bedroom. It’s really cute and makes me really happy.
They have food and music and stuff to drink too. Last time we went, we got some Thai food from a truck and hung out for a bit.

2 p.m.: Vroom over to Vroman’s
From there I’d head to Vroman’s Bookstore in Pasadena, which I hadn’t been to until very recently. It’s a huge independent bookstore, and they have literally everything there — books, gifts [and] stationery — so I’d probably buy a notebook. I’ve got so many notebooks. The two things I overbuy the most are vintage jackets and notebooks. I use different types of notebooks for different [purposes], but they’ve all got to be spiral-ring.
I like [notebooks] that are long and skinny for my set lists. I like stenographer’s notebooks for new jokes because [the pages] have a line down the middle; I use one side for jokes I know work and one side for jokes I’m not sure about yet. And I like a really big notebook to journal in. Then there are the kind I find at flea market vendors when I’m on the road where they turn old children’s books into notebooks and leave part of the [original book] text in between the [blank] pages. This one [she holds aloft a spiral-ring notebook with the title “Peter Pan” on the cover] is by Red Barn Collections. I think I picked it up at a flea market in Salt Lake City.
3 p.m.: Head to the Huntington
If I didn’t sit and write in the cafe at Vroman’s, I’d head to the Huntington. I’ve been a member there for years, and sometimes when I have a whole day off, I’ll go there for a while. I’d either go to the side area where there are a few chairs and sit and read or go to one of the benches that overlook the Japanese garden. If I was writing, I’d do that in the cafe.

5:30 p.m.: Sushi in Studio City
Since the Huntington closes at 5 p.m., I’d head to this sushi place in Studio City that I love called Sushi Tomoki that opens at 5:30. I like to get there right when it opens because it fills up so fast. And it’s so good, and the service is fast even when they’re packed.

7 p.m.: Take in a movie at Universal CityWalk
Since I’m in Studio City and my group of friends and I are all AMC Stubs A-List members, I’d go to Universal CityWalk to catch a movie. CityWalk is what it is, but it’s close to the sushi place. And the AMC theater there is really good. If you go with a bunch of friends, you can split the cost of parking. I love to talk about the movie afterward, so instead of just standing by the car talking about it, we can walk around [CityWalk] and talk about it. The last thing I saw there was “Paddington in Peru.”

10:30 p.m.: Tea time before bedtime
At this point it’s probably pretty late when I get home, so I’d probably drink some tea — I do a licorice or a ginger tea at night — shower and then read for a while. Or maybe do some journaling or doomscrolling in bed, depending on what my mood is. And hopefully fall asleep by midnight.
Lifestyle
Time 100 Gala Attended by Blake Lively, Demi Moore, Gayle King and Others

Nine days earlier, Gayle King had been pilloried online as a Marie Antoinette like figure for asking critics of her 11-minute spaceflight “have you been?” and suggesting they can’t have a conversation about it until they have. But on Thursday evening, she walked the red carpet at the Time 100 Gala, her head held high and her green dress shimmering.
“I can’t complain,” Ms. King said at 7:30 p.m., standing on the 16th floor of the building that was previously known as the Time Warner Center, but is now called the Deutsche Bank Center. “My life is wonderful.”
To her left was one of the night’s honorees, David Muir, an ABC News anchor whose bosses recently paid President Trump $15 million to settle a defamation suit he filed against the company.
To her right was the designer Georgina Chapman, whose ex-husband Harvey Weinstein was back on trial this week over sexual assault allegations. Ms. Chapman was attending the gala with her current boyfriend, the actor Adrien Brody, who was being honored at the event.
Ms. King turned to another celebrity on the line and moved toward her. “Hi Scarlett,” she said, speaking to the actress Scarlett Johansson, who was also on the Time 100 list.
For much of the 20th century, Time was published weekly by Time Inc. Now, the magazine is owned by the tech billionaire Marc Benioff and is published biweekly. In the company’s answer to events like the Met Gala, the Time 100 has become a petting zoo where contemporary artists get honored alongside champion athletes and take selfies together.
The artist Mickalene Thomas had never met the gymnast Simone Biles before Thursday night, but she wasn’t shy about pulling out her phone for a selfie. “She’s legendary. Why not?”
Just as attendees were being ushered toward the dining area, the actors Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds, who are currently in the middle of a legal battle with the film director and actor Justin Baldoni, walked in.
Ms. Lively has accused Mr. Baldoni of misconduct on the set of the film “It Ends With Us.” Mr. Baldoni has denied the accusations and sued Ms. Lively, her publicist Leslie Sloane, and The New York Times, which published a story about their feud, for defamation.
Was there something in the air on Thursday? A scent being delivered to attract people connected in various ways to recent controversies?
“Who knows,” said Ali Zelenko, the former chief spokeswoman for NBC News, who was attending with her new boss, Jonathan Greenblatt, the chief executive of the Anti-Defamation League. “But it makes for good copy.”
“This is a complicated moment,” said Sam Jacobs, the editor in chief of Time. “The Time 100 reflects that.”
The tiered dining room had a large stage on the lowest level. Behind it, glass windows showed off Central Park. Waiters served a kale and dandelion Caesar salad. Cameramen darted across the room, grabbing shots of the audience for a Time 100 special that will air on ABC in May.
Here was Demi Moore on the ground level at a table with her manager, Jason Weinberg, and Ms. Johannson. There at the next table over was Ms. Biles along with Serena Williams and the actor Adam Scott. Above them were Mr. Brody and Ms. Chapman.
The program began with a short speech by Jessica Sibley, Time’s chief executive, who briefly talked about the vital role independent journalism plays in a functioning Democracy and then moved onto the longer business of thanking the evening’s numerous corporate sponsors.
Shortly after the British singer Myles Smith performed his hit song, “Stargazing,” Mr. Muir took control of the microphone to introduce another Time 100 recipient, Angeline Murimirwa, an activist from Zimbabwe who has spent decades creating educational opportunities for girls in Africa.
She was one of several speakers over the course of the evening, including Noa Argamani, an Israeli activist who was held captive by Hamas for 245 days.
To serve as comic relief, the magazine selected the rapper Snoop Dogg as the host of the program, though his appearances were somewhat sporadic.
“Man, I’m so proud of Simone Biles. Ain’t y’all?” he said at one point. “Me and Simone, we have a lot in common. She’s an expert at the balance beam vault and the uneven bars and I’m really good at high jumping. I’m also good at high sitting, high rapping, and as you’ll see for the next two hours, high hosting.” (He also suggested onstage that the only reason he was given a slot in this year’s Time 100 was because the magazine needed a famous emcee.)
Around 9:30 p.m., a grilled branzino was served as the evening’s main dish.
Ms. Biles called over a waiter to order a pair of margaritas for herself and Ms. Williams.
After that came a speech from Ms. Lively.
“I have so much to say about the last two years of my life, but tonight is not the forum,” she said, seemingly in reference to her experience with Mr. Baldoni.
Then, she spoke for several minutes about the pain women endure and the way they ultimately “break” the hearts of their daughters when they, “let them in the secret that we kept from them as they pranced around in princess dresses: that they are not and likely will never be safe. At work. At home. In a parking lot. In a medical office. Online. In any space they inhabit. Physically, emotionally, professionally.”
“But why does that torch have to be something we carry in private?” she asked. “How can we not all agree on that basic human right?”
In the speech, Ms. Lively also thanked her mother, Elaine Lively, for helping her acquire her voice, as well as her “sweet husband,” Mr. Reynolds, whom she described as one of the men “who are kind and good when no one is watching.”
The event ended around 11 p.m. with a performance by the singer Ed Sheeran.
He also addressed Mr. Reynolds, albeit in less reverential terms.
Mr. Sheeran has a minority stake in Ipswich Town F.C., a soccer club located in Suffolk, England. Mr. Reynolds co-owns the Welsh soccer club Wrexham A.F.C.
Mr. Sheeran said his club would mess up Wrexham, using a more colorful term than that, before launching into a rendition of his signature hit, “Shape of You.”
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