Lifestyle
The Moments That Shape Our Beliefs
In a divided country, Americans still have one thing in common: They believe.
Almost all Americans — 92 percent of adults — say they experience some form of spiritual belief, whether in a god, human souls or spirits, an afterlife, or something “beyond the natural world,” according to a major report published recently by the Pew Research Center.
“I can’t think of anything else this many Americans agree on,” Penny Edgell, a sociologist at the University of Minnesota, said.
But what does this widespread spirituality actually look like in practice? Experts have tried to answer the question in surveys and studies. By necessity, they have sorted millions of people into fixed identity categories, like Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, Buddhist, agnostic, atheist and “nothing in particular.” What these labels can sometimes miss, however, is the rich complexity of our inner worlds.
In reality, believing is a messy, evolving process. The Times wanted to capture how belief takes many forms, both inside and outside of religion. We spent the last year working on a project intended to capture the landscape of contemporary religion and spirituality. We spoke with dozens of high-profile figures, religious leaders and writers. We also asked Times readers to tell us about a moment that shaped their beliefs. More than 4,000 responded.
Below, an edited selection of their stories.
Do you have a story to share about searching for belief? Tell us here.
Lifestyle
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Lifestyle
Inside the elaborate, competitive L.A. book club taking immersion to the extreme
They call themselves the Booked Babes. Tonight, the women are gathered in Anna Sokol’s kitchen, surrounding an oven-roasted duck stuffed with apples. The dish is a Ukrainian delicacy from Sokol’s home country, where she was once a fashion designer and influencer. Now, she’s in Venice Beach. Sunlight bleeds in from the window where the sun is setting over the Venice Canals. At the women’s feet, a mini Bernedoodle, Zipper, paces nervously, barking at arriving guests. Screams echo from the upstairs bedrooms, where two husbands are in exile, watching a Green Bay Packers game with a newborn baby.
Tonight’s book club is Eastern European-themed, prompting the women to wear red cardigans and dresses. The book under discussion is “The New Rules” by Russian-born TikTok influencer Margarita Nazarenko, who prescribes gender roles that Sokol recognizes as distinctly Eastern European. Nazarenko is a best-selling author with more than 600,000 followers on Instagram, known for offering practical, blunt dating advice to women. “Her methodology feels very Eastern European in male and female relationships and dynamics,” Sokol explains as her guests pick at deviled eggs and brie cheese with manicured nails.
The guest list for the Booked Babes is small — only six women, with one of them commuting remotely from Miami; this time, she joins over FaceTime. The Booked Babes was founded more than two years ago at a holiday party as a New Year’s resolution to read more and forge new friendships. Since then, the women have become best friends, and the book club meetings they host have taken on a life of their own —becoming more spectacular and competitive with each meeting.
The Booked Babes journeyed to a gothic mansion in La Jolla and dressed as Marie Antoinette in extravagant rococo dresses.
(Anna Sokol)
“It started off very normal in the beginning, very casual,” book club member Cassandra Leisz explains. “I don’t really know when the switch happened.”
With each passing month, the book club became more elaborate and more involved — including vacations in coastal towns, costuming, pickleball tournaments and monogrammed custom merch.
Take the historical literary fiction novel “Perfume: The Story of a Murderer” by Patrick Süskind, for example, set in the 18th century. The group journeyed to a gothic mansion in La Jolla and dressed as Marie Antoinette in extravagant rococo dresses. Eighteenth century activities included croquet and designing a custom perfume, all accompanied by fashion photography. Sokol chose the novel for its cult status in Ukraine: “Everyone read it, even though it’s a really weird book.”
For the book club members, the spectacle is part of the fun. “It gives us all a chance to be creative and come together. You get to make it whatever you want it to be. There’s the element of: how do I want to express myself in this time period?” says Leisz.
For the book club pick “Flawless” by Elsie Silver, Ashley Goldsmith planned a cowboy picnic in Franklin Canyon, complete with her mother’s vintage Chevy pickup truck.
(Anna Sokol)
For her turn hosting, Leisz rented a boat — not quite a yacht, she clarifies — in Marina del Rey, paired with lobster rolls and champagne. The novel was “The Wedding People” by Alison Espach, set in a hotel in Newport, R.I. Leisz leaned into the snobby, blue-blood aesthetic described in the book for her outing.
“It is a financial commitment. We put a lot of money into it between the decor, the gifts and the activity,” says Leisz.
Opinions and literary taste often vary among the women. The book club enjoys sparring over polarizing books, but the point is always friendship. “There are a lot of times I don’t like the book, but I love having an opportunity to spend time with girlfriends,” says Ashley Goldsmith.
Custom merch like personalized sweatshirts, elaborate gifting and travel have become a tradition for this book club.
(Anna Sokol)
For her book club on “Flawless” by Elsie Silver, Goldsmith planned a cowboy picnic in Franklin Canyon, complete with her mother’s vintage Chevy pickup truck for photo ops. The meal was followed by a mechanical bull-riding competition at Saddle Ranch. Goldsmith even hired a security guard to secure the public picnic bench beginning at 7 a.m.
The Booked Babes have attracted attention on the members’ social media with eager requests to join. The book club always politely declines, given its specific chemistry. “The second we started posting about this and talking about it, people were like, ‘Oh my God, how do I join?’” says Leisz. Since schedules are already tricky to maneuver, the club does not accept new members.
The Booked Babes raise their glasses.
(Carlin Stiehl / For The Times)
In curating a book club, the members insist that diversity of opinion is key. “We’re all quite different from each other. We have very different backgrounds. Some of us come from different countries,” says Leisz. Alanna O’Reilly, who joined over Facetime, immigrated from Dublin and is currently living in Miami.
For the record:
10:40 a.m. May 4, 2026An earlier version of this article misspelled Alanna O’Reilly’s name as Illana O’Reiley.
At dinner, the book club sits down for the Ukrainian meal to discuss “The New Rules.” On the table are elaborate rose arrangements and settings draped in red ribbon. Amanda Ghaffari slyly streams the Green Bay Packers game on her iPhone. O’Reiley jokes via Facetime she is eating popcorn and watching the hit gay drama “Heated Rivalry.”
1. A flower arrangement is set for a themed book club. 2. A cheese plate. 3. Book club members wear red and pink dresses for their meeting. (Carlin Stiehl / For The Times)
The conversation includes some light teasing about each other’s attachment styles — the intimate banter of close friends. Victoria Frenner, who is a therapist, expresses skepticism about the book’s punchy tone. “When someone is speaking on something with a lot of conviction, like, there always has to be some kind of caveat,” Frenner says.
“This is why I wanted you to read it. It’s very Eastern European-focused.” Sokol says. “American girls are a little more on the independent side. She doesn’t say ‘don’t be independent,’ but she talks a lot about femininity.” Sokol recounts the dizzying story of meeting her husband at a wedding in Moscow, which begins with her husband attending a nightclub in Dubai.
Ashley Goldsmith reads her individualized star chart.
(Carlin Stiehl / For The Times)
For the activity planned, Sokol, who is eight months pregnant and wearing a dazzling candy-pink dress that matches the chosen book’s cover, presents the members with their own custom Slavic astrology reading, one she procured from a Ukrainian astrologer she visited when she was 19. Fortune telling and mysticism are common in Eastern Europe, she explains. The custom readings are bound in booklets, each featuring a spirit animal, such as a panda, and suggested habits.
“Avoid fast cars and motorcycles. Avoid countries with active war,” one of the booklets read.
Ghaffari explains that ever since she was 3 years old in Milwaukee, her mother has been in a decades-long book club. “She flies back for it, and she’ll recommend books that they just read,” Ghaffari says. Three weeks ago, Ghaffari had her first baby, who is in attendance, whom she jokes is the “book club heir.”
The Booked Babes fall quiet as they thumb through their astrology booklets, reading about destiny, transfixed by the mesmerizing promise of inevitable fate.
Connors is a writer living in Los Angeles. She hosts the literary reading event Unreliable Narrators at Nico’s Wines in Atwater Village every month.
Lifestyle
What Happened to the Summer Barbecue?
I grew up in the ’80s and ’90s, when summer weekends seemed to revolve around impromptu backyard barbecues. My parents were either hosting or heading to a friend’s or relative’s house, where guests trickled in with no real start or end time. If you arrived early, you were part of the setup crew.
Burgers, hot dogs and chicken came straight off the grill (with plenty of sides and drinks, usually provided by guests). Music, from classic soul to soca, played from a speaker hooked up to a stereo. And somewhere in the background, you could always hear a boisterous game of dominoes. Everything was served on paper plates with plastic cutlery. It was casual, often pulled together at the last minute, but always fun and memorable.
Now, as an adult in my 40s, those occasions feel few and far between. Over the last couple of summers, I can count on one hand how many barbecues I’ve been to (and I must admit, I haven’t hosted any either). Gatherings today often feel tied to milestones — birthdays, graduations, weddings, for example — or are planned as full-scale events, complete with a bar, a chef at the grill, curated décor, a D.J., and even a coordinated dress code.
It has me wondering: What happened to the simple summer barbecue? Has it faded, or just changed?
Are older generations still keeping these traditions alive? Are millennials and Gen Z hosting barbecues in new ways, or opting out of them altogether? And if the casual barbecue timetable has slowed down, what’s behind the shift?
Whether the barbecue, cookout, seafood boil, clam bake — or whatever you call a summer gathering at home — is alive and well in your circle, or is something you feel has faded over time, we would love to hear about it from your perspective. We are working on a story about what summer gatherings at home look like now, across generations and in different parts of the country. We will read each response and may follow up for more details. We won’t publish anything without your permission or share your information outside the newsroom.
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