Lifestyle
Should you lend money to your loved ones? NPR listeners weigh in
Photo illustration by Becky Harlan/NPR
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Photo illustration by Becky Harlan/NPR
Photo illustration by Becky Harlan/NPR
Has a friend or family member ever asked to borrow money from you?
Earlier this month, Life Kit asked our audience this question for an episode we did on the social etiquette of lending money. The act of generosity can unite people in times of hardship. But it can also complicate relationships — especially if the borrower doesn’t pay the loan back.
We received nearly 50 emails on the matter. Many of you reiterated a general rule we discussed in the episode: if a loved one asks for a loan, give the money as a gift if you can afford it.
But we also heard different perspectives. Some of you told us how lending money destroyed your friendships. Some offered advice on how to get money back from a negligent borrower. And others shared heartening stories about how the funds changed a person’s life.
Here is a selection of listener responses. These have been edited for length and clarity.
Use the loan as a teaching moment
Early in their marriage, my son and daughter-in-law had trouble making their paychecks stretch — and started asking my hubby and me for money.
I said yes with a couple of strings attached. First, it would only be a one-time thing. Second, they had to keep track, in writing, of how the money was being spent so I could see where the money was going. They were not thrilled with the idea, especially because I would see how they spent their money, but I didn’t care.
The exercise made them aware of where the money went. It only took a couple of months and they were living within their means. They are now doing well. They purchased a house they could afford when interest rates were low. —Joan Shurtliff
Saving my friend from high interest rates
My friend had a situation where she was in credit card debt on a card with a high interest rate, so I paid it off for her. It was over $500. I told her to pay me back over time.
It didn’t make sense to me that she should waste money on interest. My parents fronted me money for two months of credit card bills between college and my first post-college job. I paid them back after I had some paychecks under my belt. My friend’s family doesn’t have that luxury, and I don’t think she should be penalized for that. —Yvonne Marcoux
Don’t be afraid to ask for your money back
A college classmate of mine was hard on his luck. He had become unemployed for a spell and was having difficulties making ends meet. He asked if he could borrow money. I lent him $500 with the expectation that when things were better, he would pay me back.
After about two years, I called it in. I felt uncomfortable because I couldn’t tell for sure if he actually had the means to do so, but he was now employed. It took him a couple months, but he paid me back in full. —Mariann Duya
Consider their character
One day, a good friend of mine — a former roommate and tenant — sent an email to me and some friends. He just lost his job and humbly asked all of us if he we could loan him money for one month’s rent.
It was unusual for him to ask for such a loan. My friend is a hardworking man who is responsible with his money. He was a dependable roommate and tenant who always paid on time.
I consulted with my wife. She suggested that we lend him the full amount and consider it a gift. We were in a financial position where we could afford to do so. My friend was very grateful. From what I understand, we were the only ones in the group email to lend him money.
About a year later, after he found another job and got back on his feet again, he paid us back in full. It was a pleasant but not total surprise considering his character and our friendship. Though we were totally fine with letting the money go as a gift, it was nice to know that friends can keep their word too. —Oscar Fornoles
So far, so good
I often lend money to family, partners, friends and coworkers. I even proactively offer loans. They also lend me money. I can only remember one issue over very little money that I lended to a guy I didn’t know well. Maybe I’m lucky? Maybe it’s my environment? Do I choose my friends well? —Daniel Garzón
Glad I made it a gift
Several years ago I loaned $500 to a longtime friend. She was going through a hard time after a rough divorce. Out of compassion for her situation I wanted to help.
But before I did that, I asked myself if I was prepared to never see that money again. I’m glad the answer was yes — because she never paid me back or ever mentioned it. —Salvatrice Kemper
Thank you to everyone who responded to our call out. To take part in our next audience-generated story — and get great life advice from experts — sign up for Life Kit’s weekly newsletter.
This story was edited by Meghan Keane. The visual editor is Beck Harlan. We’d love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at LifeKit@npr.org.
Listen to Life Kit on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, and sign up for our newsletter.
Lifestyle
Sunday Puzzle: New newsmakers of 2025
On-air challenge
Every year around this time I present a “new names in the news” quiz. I’m going to give you some names that you’d probably never heard before 2025 but that were prominent in the news during the past 12 months. You tell me who or what they are.
1. Zohran Mamdani
2. Karoline Leavitt
3. Mark Carney
4. Robert Francis Prevost (hint: Chicago)
5. Jeffrey Goldberg (hint: The Atlantic)
6. Sanae Takaichi
7. Nameless raccoon, Hanover County, Virginia
Last week’s challenge
Last week’s challenge came from Joseph Young, of St. Cloud, Minn. Think of a two-syllable word in four letters. Add two letters in front and one letter behind to make a one-syllable word in seven letters. What words are these?
Challenge answer
Ague –> Plagued / Plagues / Leagues
Winner
Calvin Siemer of Henderson, Nev.
This week’s challenge
This week’s challenge is a numerical one from Ed Pegg Jr., who runs the website mathpuzzle.com. Take the nine digits — 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. You can group some of them and add arithmetic operations to get 2011 like this: 1 + 23 ÷ 4 x 5 x 67 – 8 + 9. If you do these operations in order from left to right, you get 2011. Well, 2011 was 15 years ago. Can you group some of the digits and add arithmetic symbols in a different way to make 2026? The digits from 1 to 9 need to stay in that order. I know of two different solutions, but you need to find only one of them.
If you know the answer to the challenge, submit it below by Thursday, January 8 at 3 p.m. ET. Listeners whose answers are selected win a chance to play the on-air puzzle.
Lifestyle
Daniel Tosh Sells Lake Tahoe Estate for $10.75 Million
Daniel Tosh
Sells Lake Tahoe Home for Millions
Published
Daniel Tosh has officially sold his sprawling Lake Tahoe compound but the comedian isn’t leaving the area … TMZ has learned.
Real estate sources tell us the 7-bedroom, 7-bath estate officially closed Friday for $10.75 million, and Tosh bought another property across the lake to be closer to friends, which is why he decided to sell.
The gated estate, located on the pristine west shore between Tahoe City and Sunnyside, sprawls across 1.6 acres and features three distinct homes, each with its own character and charm.
The Upper House is the ultimate entertainer’s dream … 4 bedrooms, 3 baths, elevator, game room, industrial ice cream maker, 4-car garage, hot tub, fire pit, bocce and horseshoe pits, and sprawling lawns with breathtaking lake views.
The Middle House keeps classic Tahoe charm alive with knotty pine interiors, 3 bedrooms, 3 baths, a stone fireplace, skylit kitchen, and steam shower — perfect for unwinding after a day on the lake.
The lakeside cabin is a serene retreat with a studio loft, retro kitchenette, modern bathroom, and French doors opening right onto the lake.
Altogether, the property boasts 93 feet of lake frontage, two buoys, and multiple outdoor spaces for fun and relaxation.
Daniel may be moving, but one thing’s clear … he’s still very much a Lake Tahoe guy, just on the other side of the lake now.
Lifestyle
What worked — and what didn’t — in the ‘Stranger Things’ finale
Sadie Sink as Max Mayfield.
Netflix
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Netflix
Yes, there are spoilers ahead for the final episode of Stranger Things.
On New Year’s Eve, the very popular Netflix show Stranger Things came to an end after five seasons and almost 10 years. With actors who started as tweens now in their 20s, it was probably inevitable that the tale of a bunch of kids who fought monsters would wind down. In the two-plus-hour finale, there was a lot of preparation, then there was a final battle, and then there was a roughly 40-minute epilogue catching up with our heroes 18 months later. And how well did it all work? Let’s talk about it.
Worked: The final battle
The strongest part of the finale was the battle itself, set in the Abyss, in which the crew battled Vecna, who was inside the Mind Flayer, which is, roughly speaking, a giant spider. This meant that inside, Eleven could go one-on-one with Vecna (also known as Henry, or One, or Mr. Whatsit) while outside, her friends used their flamethrowers and guns and flares and slingshots and whatnot to take down the Mind Flayer. (You could tell that Nancy was going to be the badass of the fight as soon as you saw not only her big gun, but also her hair, which strongly evoked Ripley in the Alien movies.) And of course, Joyce took off Vecna’s head with an axe while everybody remembered all the people Vecna has killed who they cared about. Pretty good fight!
Did not work: Too much talking before the fight
As the group prepared to fight Vecna, we watched one scene where the music swelled as Hopper poured out his feelings to Eleven about how she deserved to live and shouldn’t sacrifice herself. Roughly 15 minutes later, the music swelled for a very similarly blocked and shot scene in which Eleven poured out her feelings to Hopper about why she wanted to sacrifice herself. Generally, two monologues are less interesting than a conversation would be. Elsewhere, Jonathan and Steve had a talk that didn’t add much, and Will and Mike had a talk that didn’t add much (after Will’s coming-out scene in the previous episode), both while preparing to fight a giant monster. It’s not that there’s a right or wrong length for a finale like this, but telling us things we already know tends to slow down the action for no reason. Not every dynamic needed a button on it.
Worked: Dungeons & Dragons bringing the group together
It was perhaps inevitable that we would end with a game of D&D, just as we began. But now, these kids are feeling the distance between who they are now and who they were when they used to play together. The fact that they still enjoy each other’s company so much, even when there are no world-shattering stakes, is what makes them seem the most at peace, more than a celebratory graduation. And passing the game off to Holly and her friends, including the now-included Derek, was a very nice touch.
Charlie Heaton as Jonathan Byers, Natalia Dyer as Nancy Wheeler, Maya Hawke as Robin Buckley, and Joe Keery as Steve Harrington.
Netflix
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Netflix
Did not work: Dr. Kay, played by Linda Hamilton
It seemed very exciting that Stranger Things was going to have Linda Hamilton, actual ’80s action icon, on hand this season playing Dr. Kay, the evil military scientist who wanted to capture and kill Eleven at any cost. But she got very little to do, and the resolution to her story was baffling. After the final battle, after the Upside Down is destroyed, she believes Eleven to be dead. But … then what happened? She let them all call taxis home, including Hopper, who killed a whole bunch of soldiers? Including all the kids who now know all about her and everything she did? All the kids who ventured into the Abyss are going to be left alone? Perfect logic is certainly not anybody’s expectation, but when you end a sequence with your entire group of heroes at the mercy of a band of violent goons, it would be nice to say something about how they ended up not at the mercy of said goons.


Worked: Needle drops
Listen, it’s not easy to get one Prince song for your show, let alone two: “Purple Rain” and “When Doves Cry.” When the Duffer Brothers say they needed something epic, and these songs feel epic, they are not wrong. There continues to be a heft to the Purple Rain album that helps to lend some heft to a story like this, particularly given the period setting. “Landslide” was a little cheesy as the lead-in to the epilogue, but … the epilogue was honestly pretty cheesy, so perhaps that’s appropriate.
Did not work: The non-ending
As to whether Eleven really died or is really just backpacking in a foreign country where no one can find her, the Duffer Brothers, who created the show, have been very clear that the ending is left up to you. You can think she’s dead, or you can think she’s alive; they have intentionally not given the answer. It’s possible to write ambiguous endings that work really well, but this one felt like a cop-out, an attempt to have it both ways. There’s also a real danger in expanding characters’ supernatural powers to the point where they can make anything seem like anything, so maybe much of what you saw never happened. After all, if you don’t know that did happen, how much else might not have happened?
This piece also appears in NPR’s Pop Culture Happy Hour newsletter. Sign up for the newsletter so you don’t miss the next one, plus get weekly recommendations about what’s making us happy.
Listen to Pop Culture Happy Hour on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
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