Lifestyle
Need a Covid Test? Here’s One, and Take Another.
“What when you don’t use them? It was a very good reminder to line the containers up so as of expiration,” mentioned Ms. Carr, who added that at-home testing has develop into “a pure a part of planning for our household,” and one which she foresees will proceed, a minimum of by this 12 months.
Actually, the overabundance of exams could turn out to be useful, as instances are on the rise in elements of Europe and Asia, and because the extremely contagious Omicron subvariant BA.2 now accounts for practically 1 / 4 of latest instances in the USA.
Dr. Michael Misialek, affiliate chair of pathology at Newton-Wellesley Hospital in Newton, Mass., mentioned there may be nothing incorrect with retaining a small stockpile. Certainly, he inspired it.
“Folks ought to positively not get fearful that, ‘Oh I’ve too many,’” Dr. Misialek, 53, mentioned. “It’s not a one and finished. The true accuracy is improved by doing one other one a day or two later. Personally, I’ve 10 containers at residence.”
Sooner or later, at-home fast exams could properly develop into a part of the first-aid equipment of the twenty first century, a staple of the drugs cupboard together with Band-Aids and Advil, physicians mentioned.
Ms. Park, whose eyes lit up when she was at Goal, can properly bear in mind again eight weeks in the past, when she didn’t have a single check at residence, and couldn’t discover one wherever. She was nonetheless in shortage mode, viewing the exams like a baby would a bowl of lollipops.
“The primary thought that ran throughout my head was what number of can I purchase? Is there a cap?” she mentioned.
A extra beneficiant spirit prevailed, nevertheless. “For me, it’s the take what I want mentality,” Ms. Park mentioned. “I purchased two.”
Lifestyle
Tiny Love Stories: ‘Because of You I Have a Husband’
Strange Delight for a Stranger
We matched on Tinder in April 2020. Both quarantined alone, 2,500 miles and 25 years apart. She texts, “Do you want to see some pictures?” Pictures? Sure. Her suggestive selfies and dancing videos delight me for a month. Curiously, she never asks for anything in return. She writes, “Going back to work, not taking my clothes off anymore.” We continue text messaging our hopes, fears and family drama. We laugh and cry. Both searching for love. Years pass. She writes, “Found a good man!” Later, “Expecting a child!” She’s happy and I’m strangely happy for her. Thanks Tinder? — Steve Wruble
Because of You
Only 29. Young, healthy, gone in an instant. I hope you didn’t see the car coming. Didn’t feel pain. I can only imagine the grief of those who lost you. But because of you, I have a husband. My children, a father. His parents, a son. I feel your essence beating in my husband. Did you love ice cream? A new craving has arisen in Dave. He eats it every day in your honor. A sweet tooth and a sweet soul. Rest in peace, dear one. And thank you. — Breene Wesson
Love in All Caps
My father signed off messages in all caps, exactly how he loved me. This was clear to everyone who visited his auto shop. His office was a shrine: photos of us in Italy, at Sharks games, me in various skating costumes, printouts of my resumes and every job offer letter I ever received. I used to be embarrassed by this public display, but today I appreciate it: He was proud, in all caps. He’s gone, so I no longer receive messages with his signature sign-off, “LU DAD.” Now it’s mine to say in remembrance: LOVE YOU, DAD. — Alexandra Provo
Lucky Number 23
I couldn’t find a place to park and was increasingly late for our date. I called, explained and he said to park behind his building and walk up the fire escape. Greg leaned over the railing and his blue eyes hit me like a ton of bricks. I fell hard. He’d just gotten out of a relationship and was having 30 dates in 30 days. I was number 23. I figured I would just be the rebound boyfriend. But 26 years, a cross-country move, a wedding and five dogs later, Greg is sleeping peacefully — upstairs. — Seth A. Thayer
Lifestyle
Boiling won't help. Explaining the Palisades and Altadena 'Do Not Use' water alerts
• Eight water districts have issued water advisories in L.A. County because of the Palisades and Eaton fires. There are concerns that the water might be contaminated by toxins from the fires.
• If water systems lose pressure during urban wildfires, it allows bacteria and contaminants such as volatile organic compounds (VOCs) to get into the water.
• People’s homes and offices contain materials that turn into toxic vapor once those materials burn, releasing VOCs including benzene into the air that infiltrate compromised water systems. This is why boiling water with suspected VOCs is dangerous.
At least eight water districts in Los Angeles County — six in the Altadena area and two in the Malibu/Palisades area — have issued do-not-use or do-not-drink water advisories since the Eaton and Palisades fires began burning earlier this month, meaning customers should not use that water until they get the all-clear.
If you’re wondering how fires can make drinking water dangerous, the first thing to understand is this: The structures where we work and shop, dine and sleep and just generally live our lives are full of materials that release toxic waste when those materials burn.
This article is provided free of charge to help keep our community safe and supported during these devastating fires.
The examples are numerous. Couches and mattresses, TVs and refrigerators, tires and toys, even clothes are full of polyurethane and plastics, which vaporize into a toxic smoke once they’re set on fire, said Dr. Gina Solomon, chief of the Division of Occupational, Environmental and Climate Medicine at UC San Francisco.
These toxins — many of which are known as VOCs, or volatile organic compounds — include chemicals such as benzene, which is used to make just about everything in the modern world, from plastics and gasoline to detergents and pesticides. As a liquid or vapor, though, benzene is a carcinogen if ingested or inhaled. Longtime exposure damages bone marrow, which is why it’s linked to leukemia.
Most studies about benzene are based on many years of exposure, Solomon said. “What a few months does, nobody knows exactly, but nobody wants to find out,” she said. “We don’t want to use the population of burn zones to see what months or weeks of exposure does. We want to just avoid exposure in those areas.”
How can these toxins get into water systems?
If a water system loses water pressure, that allows contaminants such as bacteria and vaporized VOCs and other toxic chemicals to get inside, Solomon said.
“Normally our water systems have positive pressure — they’re full of water, so nothing can get in the pipes,” she said. But if the pipes lose pressure, such as water hydrants running dry, “It can create situations where you get suction instead of pressure, and in this case, it’s not a backflow of [contaminated] water but air full of toxic chemicals, including VOCs.”
Solomon studied this phenomenon after the Camp fire destroyed about 18,000 structures in the Northern California town of Paradise in November 2018. In a second study, “Organic Chemical Contaminants in Water System Infrastructure Following Wildfire,” she and other researchers identified 95 contaminants in water systems that came not just from melted pipes but also from “the intrusion of smoke” after the Camp fire in Paradise and the 2017 Tubbs fire in Santa Rosa.
Only one neighborhood in Santa Rosa — Fountain Grove — lost water pressure during the Tubbs fire, Solomon said. The hydrants there ran dry, and the water to the neighborhood’s surviving 13 homes developed a contamination problem. Residents reported that their water smelled like gasoline, she said, and testing revealed benzene contamination for reasons investigators couldn’t explain.
“That was our first hint,” Solomon said. Researchers didn’t really understand what was happening, however, until after they were able to do more extensive testing on the drinking water for the 1,200 surviving homes in Paradise. That’s when they learned that VOCs and other contaminants could enter the drinking water even in a smoke or gas form if the water systems lost pressure.
As a result of their findings, the state Assembly passed a new law, California Health and Safety Code Section 116596, that went into effect Jan. 1, 2024, mandating that if a structure or structures burn in a wildfire of 300 acres or more, water districts must test their water and deem it free of contaminants before it can be used by customers.
“So basically we are guilty until proven innocent, based on this law,” said Tom Majich, general manager of the Kinneloa Irrigation District, the smallest of the five water districts in the Altadena area with water advisories. “And I’m not saying that’s wrong. Some of us may be guilty, but I just want people to understand that putting out a [water advisory] notice doesn’t mean you have a problem. We’re just following the law.”
Majich is awaiting his district’s test results, and he’s hopeful his system will be deemed safe. The district’s water system did not lose pressure, he said, and less than 7% of the district’s 600 customers — roughly 40 structures — were burned in the fire. “My personal opinion is that our water system was not compromised, but the law says that doesn’t matter,” Majich said. “If you lose a house, you do the testing, so we’re waiting for the results.”
The other Altadena-area districts with water advisories are Las Flores Water Co., Lincoln Avenue Water Co., Pasadena Water and Power (in the northeastern part of the district) and Rubio Cañon Land & Water Assn. Water advisories also have been issued by Los Angeles Department of Water & Power for the Palisades area and for Los Angeles County Waterworks District 29 in Malibu. The city of Sierra Madre, which is southeast of Altadena, has also issued an unsafe water alert for areas north of Grandview Avenue.
Majich said he doesn’t know when his district’s test results will be in. He speculated that other water districts haven’t had a chance to test yet because their offices and systems were so badly damaged in the fire. “They’re still really in crisis mode,” he said. Calls to the other districts for comment were not returned.
Why can’t you boil your suspect water?
Boiling can eliminate bacteria, another concern in contaminated water systems. What’s dangerous is when the water is full of volatile organic compounds, Solomon said, because “when you boil the water, it releases benzene and other chemicals into your kitchen.”
Hot showers or baths can vaporize those chemicals too, and if there’s bacteria in the water, it could splash in your eyes, nose or mouth. That’s why most of the water advisories have do-not-use alerts until the systems can be thoroughly tested, repaired and cleaned.
Sometimes the closures are just precautionary, Solomon said, and can be quickly resolved once officials determine that water is safe. But in Paradise, several systems had to be repeatedly flushed because most water pipes are coated on the inside with biofilm, microorganisms that attach to surfaces “that absorb and hold on to all the toxic chemicals,” she said.
“Once the biofilm is contaminated, it’s difficult to get those chemicals back out of the pipes. In Paradise, they had to flush the entire water system seven times, and some of those service lines [between water mains and houses] were so contaminated they had to go in and dig them up and just replace them,” Solomon said. “So basically what we saw in Paradise was about a six-month process, and I think we can anticipate a similar time frame in the most impacted parts of L.A.”
Once a water system gets the all-clear, people should feel confident about the quality of their drinking water, Solomon said. “I know a lot of people will be fearful, and may not trust the results, but I have great faith in the actual testing data,” she said. “Once they’ve done the testing, and the area is negative [for contaminants], it means people can breathe a sigh of relief that they’re not in an area impacted by water hazard.”
Can you do anything safely with suspect water?
Basically, Solomon said, water with suspected contaminants should be avoided.
That means:
- No bathing or showering in the water (even cold showers could be dangerous if the water gets in your eyes, nose or mouth).
- No cooking or making ice.
- No teeth brushing.
- No washing dishes (since hot or warm water could release the toxins).
- Pets should not drink the water either.
Solomon said she’s not sure how watering plants outside would be affected. VOCs would evaporate in sunlight, she said, but there hasn’t been much research on what other potential contaminants could do.
The safest course, she said, is to just not use the water until it’s deemed safe.
Vegetables, fruits and plants growing outdoors shouldn’t be adversely affected by the water either, she said. The bigger concern outdoors is stirring up the ash from burned-up structures, which is also full of toxins, Solomon said, so be sure to wear gloves and an N95 mask to avoid inhaling the ash.
Lifestyle
My Son Wants to Pay for His Sister to Freeze Her Eggs. Too Weird?
We have two grown children: a son, 39, and a daughter, 36. They are both doing well, but our son has a great deal more money than our daughter. He recently married and has a baby on the way — thanks, in part, to his wife’s having frozen some of her eggs when she was younger. (Our daughter is currently single.) Our son would like to offer the gift of egg freezing to his sister, which is expensive. The issues: Is this gift too weird for a brother to give his sister? If not, who should make the offer: our son — who is not super close to his sister, who can be prickly — or me? Finally, is there a whiff of pity in this gift?
MOM
Let me start with an important issue that has nothing to do with freezing eggs. In my family, my mother often provided shuttle diplomacy when there was an awkward issue between my brothers and me. I am sure she thought she was helping us by inserting herself in our disagreements. (I did!) But the upshot is that now, after she is gone, she has three adult sons who can barely communicate with one another. Do not do this to your children.
Your son is capable of making his kind offer to your daughter himself. It’s possible she will dismiss it out of hand. (You have not reported that she is even interested in having children. Not all women are!) But since he and his new wife are actual poster children for the benefits of egg freezing, it’s hard to see how even a prickly sibling could construe the offer as pitying. And if your daughter’s objection were to the size of the gift or to her brother’s involvement with her reproductive choices, she can refuse it — though even that takes nothing from his thoughtfulness.
Tell your son that he and his wife should make the offer to her privately, in person and soon. (A letter, for instance, without her brother’s caring voice may be misinterpreted. And the medical literature notes a drop-off in the efficacy of the procedure as women age.) As for your question about the weirdness of this gift, let me answer with the modified lyrics of an R&B classic: If a loving gesture to a sister is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
You’re Holding a Grudge, but He’s Holding Your Stuff
Last year, I had a falling-out with an old friend. A mutual acquaintance, with whom I was having a conflict, pressed my friend to take sides. Despite telling me privately that he thought I was right, my friend decided to remain neutral. (He was not willing to damage his professional relationship with our acquaintance.) I found this behavior to be snakelike, and I have not spoken to him since. The rub: Before all this, I had lent my friend a library of books that I couldn’t store in my apartment with the understanding that I would take them back when I had room for them. That time has come, but I have no interest in rekindling our friendship or initiating a détente to beg for my books. What should I do?
FRIEND
I would start by examining your reaction here. It’s entirely natural to want our friends to support us. But here, there was no reason for your friend to take sides in a squabble that did not concern him. And unless there was some muddiness in your agreement with him to reclaim your books once you had room for them, collecting them does not require any “détente” if you are truly committed to this feud. Simply thank your friend for keeping your books — because, like it or not, he did you a favor — and ask him when it would be convenient for you to pick them up.
Do Good In-Laws Make Good Neighbors?
Last year, my partner’s parents bought a home four blocks from ours. They are kind people, but I’ve had to draw some boundaries: They must knock, for instance, if they drop by without telling me in advance. My partner wants to see them every day, and he expects me to want the same. I am comfortable seeing them once a week for dinner. But when I express this to my partner, he becomes upset and accuses me of rejecting his family. How do I navigate this?
PARTNER
The central problem here seems to be with your partner, not your in-laws. His characterization of your openness to weekly visits — a perfectly reasonable concession — as a rejection of his family is unfair and overdramatic. In my experience, when partners are at very different starting points in hashing out conflicts, it may be a good time to engage a couples therapist to help guide your negotiation.
The Latest Indignity of Freelancing? Friends’ Interest.
I am a freelance writer. When I tell friends what I’m working on — building my Instagram following, for instance, or applying for an artist’s residency — they ask, “Does that pay?” I find this insulting! I don’t ask about their compensation. Thoughts?
FREELANCER
I get your annoyance. But I think your friends are trying to understand your work life — not calculate your income. People with 9-to-5 jobs may not understand the importance of social media or institutional affiliations to editors. And while it is certainly not your job to explain the business model of freelancing, isn’t it nice that they’re showing an interest in your work? (If it isn’t, stop talking about it.)
For help with your awkward situation, send a question to SocialQ@nytimes.com, Philip Galanes on Facebook or @SocialQPhilip on X.
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