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Billie Eilish thought she'd always have a soft voice. Singing lessons changed that

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Billie Eilish thought she'd always have a soft voice. Singing lessons changed that

Billie Eilish performs onstage during in New York City in May 2024.

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When Billie Eilish first hit the music scene as a teenager, she captivated audiences with her soft, whispery voice. Her 2019 debut album, When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?, which was produced by her brother, Finneas O’Connell, won Grammys for best record, album, song and new artist.

Billie assumed that would be the voice she’d sing with for years to come: “I thought it was going to be soft, and my range wasn’t going to be very big, and I wasn’t ever going to be able to belt, and I wasn’t ever going to be able to have much of a chest mix in my voice,” she says.

Then, two years ago, Billie began working with a music teacher, which she hadn’t done since she was a kid in the choir.

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“It has honestly changed my life,” she says of the lessons. “My voice has just gotten 10 times better in the last two years. … I didn’t really know before I started working with a teacher again that you can always get better and you can train.”

Billie and Finneas have been writing songs and recording together since she was 13, and he was 18. At the time, both were being homeschooled, and songwriting was part of the curriculum.

“Our mom had us go home and watch something on TV or read something and just write down any interesting words that we see, or an interesting sentence and then … try to make a song out of what [we] wrote,” Billie says.

For Finneas, making music with his younger sister meant he always had a “guinea pig” available: “I was an amateur producer trying my best to record anyone. Billie, as a 13 year old who’d basically never sung into a microphone at all, obliged. And it was kind of a good match,” he says.

Finneas produces his own music, and he also produced and co-wrote the songs on Billie’s latest album, Hit Me Hard and Soft, which is up for six Grammys. Nearly a decade into their collaboration, with seven top-10 hits, several Grammys and two Oscars, Billie and Finneas are still partners, finding new ways of pushing and supporting each other.

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Interview highlights

On writing music for his teen sister instead of for his band

Finneas: Billie and I’ve always gotten along great. I’m sure being homeschooled impacted that because we had a relationship that might have been more three dimensional than if we were in separate grades and saw each other a little bit on the weekend. … We spent a lot of time together having nuanced conversations. That’s part number one in terms of wanting to spend time with her.

Number two is she had a really beautiful voice. And so I think even in addition to liking her as a presence in my life, I saw her talent and respected her talent.

On finding comfort in her teenage fanbase because of how isolating fame was as a teen

Billie: When I became famous-ish at 14, it was not a good time in terms of keeping friendships. I think when you’re 14, that’s kind of an age where friendships are already kind of rocky. And also all my friends did go to school, so they were all going to high school and your relationships are kind of already rocky right then. And suddenly I had no way of relating to anyone. And I kind of lost all my friends. I maintained a couple, but those were really challenging to keep even still. And so for those few years of becoming this enormous superstar, I was kind of feeling like, “Wait, what the hell is the point? I don’t have any friends and I’m losing all the things that I love so deeply and all the people that I love.” And so, in a way, the fans kind of saved me, because they were my age and I felt like they were the only kind of friends I had for a while.

On having a teen audience as Billie’s older brother

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Finneas: I’m four years older, so I would say that I didn’t have much of a kind of a feeling one way or the other about the age or gender of the predominant audience. I had a real sense of gratitude for their enthusiasm. And the audience that was coming to the shows that Billie was playing couldn’t have been more engaged and enthusiastic.

On modeling her stage presence more after male performers

Billie: I think a lot of women go through the feeling of just envying men in … one way or the other. And for me, I would watch videos of different male performers on stage and just feel this, like, deep sadness in my body that I’ll never be able to take my shirt off on stage and run around and like, not try very hard and just jump around on stage and that’s enough and have enough energy from just myself with no backup dancers and no huge stage production and the crowd will still love me. And only a man can do that.

And because of that, I think more than almost anything else in my career, I was very, very, very determined to kind of prove that thought wrong — and I really did. I really feel like I did. I didn’t like the kind of pop-girl leotard, backup dancers, hair done thing. I didn’t like that, for me. I liked it for other people, but that didn’t resonate with me. I never saw myself in those people. And honestly, I never saw myself in any women that I saw on stage, but I did see myself in the men that I saw on stage, and I thought that was unfair. And so I did everything that I could to kind of try to break that within myself and the industry. And I’m not saying I’m the only person that’s ever done that at all. But for me, that was really important.
 
On her baggy clothes being inspired by men in hip-hop

Billie: I would watch [hip-hop] videos and instead of being jealous of the women who get to be around the hot men, I would be jealous of the hot men. And I wanted to be them and I wanted to dress like them and I wanted to be able to act like them. And to be fair, I had all sorts of women that I looked up to and artists that are the reason that I am who I am. …

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My favorite singers are all old jazz singers that I’ve always looked up to, and I’m always forcing people to watch videos of Ella Fitzgerald singing live and Julie London singing live. And Sarah Vaughan and Nancy Wilson and all these people. We were watching these videos and every single one, of course, because of that period of time, they’re all wearing dresses, they’re all wearing tight, corseted, maybe, dresses with their hair done. But … that’s part of how things were then. And so thank God that those women came before me because otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to do anything.

-R) Finneas O'Connell and Billie Eilish, winners of the Best Original Song award for 'What Was I Made For?' from "Barbie", pose in the press room during the 96th Annual Academy Awards at Ovation Hollywood on March 10, 2024 in Hollywood, California.

Finneas and Billie Eilish won the Best Original Song Oscar in 2024 for “What Was I Made For?,” from the film Barbie.

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On having family support

Finneas: I was making music with Billie in my bedroom and trying my best. And [Billie] was kind about it. She was like, “I like that.” She liked the songs I was writing. She liked “Ocean Eyes,” I think that I got so much positive reinforcement when I really needed it, you know?

When I find out people have had careers in the arts, when they were actively discouraged, and when you hear somebody say, “Man, my mom hated my voice,” or something like that, I’m always kind of blown away because to me, I had enough self-doubt and enough imposter syndrome that that if anyone had said, “You’re not very good,” I would have been like, “Correct. I agree.” Let me stop doing this now. And it really took people like Billie and people like my friend Frank to be like, “No, no, no, you’re better than you think you are,” to kind of give me the confidence that I needed.

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On studying songwriting as a part of their homeschooling

Billie: Something that I think has always helped in songwriting, is giving yourself permission to write a bad song, because the more you do it, the better you get. … I think that sometimes you have this high expectation for yourself and you’re like, “No, no, no, it has to be really good.” But you can’t just sit down and make something perfect immediately every time you have to try and fail. And that was something that was really hard for me. I’m not good at patience and I’m not good at not being good at something until I am. I want to be really good immediately. Something that helped me a lot is just allowing myself to not be amazing and just make something to make it and not worry if it’s good.

On the validation that fans relate to her lyrics

Billie: My favorite is when we put a song out people are like, “How did she know I was feeling this? Where is she hiding in my room … to write this song that’s exactly my life?” I think that’s like one of the most magical parts about music. And I’ve had that as a fan, too. And Finneas has too. You hear a song and you’re like, “Oh my God, this is exactly my situation. How could that be?” But it’s just that it can be because we’re just all suffering together — and it’s nice to know that you’re not alone in that.

Thea Chaloner and Susan Nyakundi produced and edited this interview for broadcast. Bridget Bentz, Molly Seavy-Nesper and Jacob Ganz adapted it for the web.

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The BoF Podcast | Decoding Paris Haute Couture: Wonder, Restraint and the Call of the Void

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The BoF Podcast | Decoding Paris Haute Couture: Wonder, Restraint and the Call of the Void
Amidst a record-breaking heatwave, top brands and independent designers soldiered on, showcasing the creative obsessions and aesthetic shifts that defined the haute couture Autumn/Winter 2026 season. Imran Amed and Tim Blanks break it all down.
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‘The Invite’ is a marriage comedy with sex and heart

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What happens when a simple dinner party goes off the rails? That’s the premise of The Invite, a very good new comedy directed by Olivia Wilde. Wilde also stars alongside Seth Rogen as a couple who invite their neighbors over for a meal, played by Penelope Cruz and Edward Norton. And it’s a heck of a dinner party, full of frank talk about sex and its complications.If you like slightly absurd relationship comedies, check out these episodes:’Mr. & Mrs. Smith’ is a stylish take on spy marriageIn Tina Fey’s ‘The Four Seasons,’ marriage is far from a vacationConnect with Pop Culture Happy Hour:Letterboxd / FacebookOur weekly newsletterSupport Pop Culture Happy Hour+
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L.A. Affairs: It’s hot when a man drives to me. But would this new guy make the trek from the Valley?

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L.A. Affairs: It’s hot when a man drives to me. But would this new guy make the trek from the Valley?

I met Dan on Hinge.

He lives in Woodland Hills, and I live in Venice. In Los Angeles, this is considered a long-distance relationship. In another city it might be nothing. Here, it’s a factor.

But I believe that with the right person, you can make anything work, so I stay open. I’m a native New Yorker, and if I were living in Brooklyn and a guy lived on the Upper West Side, that would be a 45-minute subway ride, which is truly nothing in New York. So with that same logic, I try to have flexibility with men in L.A.

When we started planning our first date, Dan suggested three options: a hike on mushrooms, a wine tasting or a walk on the beach.

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A hike on mushrooms is something I’d only do with someone I already trust, not someone I just met online. I don’t do first-date hikes because I don’t like feeling trapped if the guy’s a dud. So I chose the wine tasting.

Then I learned the wine tasting was in West Hills.

On a Friday night, driving there from Venice would be insane. So I said I didn’t want to meet there because of the traffic. He suggested Malibu. That was also not ideal on a Friday.

I was getting annoyed — this was a pink flag because in my dating world, the guy is supposed to come to the woman’s neighborhood in the early days. I’ve gone out with plenty of men from the Valley who effortlessly suggested they come to me. It’s not rare or impossible.

I suggested he come to the Westside. I didn’t specifically say Venice, and in hindsight, I probably should have. He landed on Brentwood, which was manageable for both of us. On our first date, we met at an Irish pub on Wilshire Boulevard. He was cuter and more interesting than I had expected, and with the Guinness flowing, we had fun.

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When I got home, he texted me: “Well, I like you 🙂 Less the tik tok and the lack of rock music in your life, but it’s not a deal breaker — there are other qualities 🙂 What are your thoughts?”

I noticed the slight negativity but was mostly dazzled that a man texted immediately after the date to say he liked me. In the modern dating economy, this felt rare.

The next day, both of our evening plans fell through, so we made a last-minute date. The wine tasting he originally suggested still sounded like fun, and although it meant me driving to the Valley, I was up for it now that we’d met.

We sipped flights at Malibu Wines & Beer Garden in its airy, romantic courtyard and played a flirty version of Truth or Dare. Halfway through, he dared me to kiss him.

We ended with sushi on Ventura Boulevard and a short make-out session in his car. He invited me to Thanksgiving at his uncle’s, which felt too soon, but also sweet.

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After the second date, he texted and said he had his kids that week and was also hosting an event on Thursday, so his only day to meet was Wednesday. I said great.

On Tuesday night, he checked if we were still on, and I said yes.

Then he texted: “I’m flexible on time but not on location. I have a big event on Thursday, hopefully you can come to me again.”

My stomach tightened. This again?

So I texted back: “I drove to you last time, which was a bit of an exception for me especially in the early days, but the wine tasting location sounded special. Usually guys come to my area. How about we switch it up this time?”

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He replied: “I appreciate the effort! Because of my event, I’d rather be close to a computer just if needed … Here is what i offer:
— I’ll come to your area anytime next week/end
— Lunch/dinner on me
I want to continue where we stopped last time 😉 No pressure of course, but let’s snuggle”

I responded: “Ok let’s meet next week. Snuggles sound nice … let’s see what happens …”

Then he wrote: “So I won’t see you tomorrow?”

I replied: “Unless you wanna come to me and bring your laptop along, let’s rain check until you have more flexibility.”

He said: “Dang, you are hard. I’ll let you know tomorrow around midday if it’s ok.”

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And then — surprise — he decided to come.

He drove to Venice for a 5 p.m. date. He said his ETA was 5 p.m., and it ended up being 5:25 p.m., typical 405 Freeway.

When he showed up, he was in a cranky mood. On our way to KazuNori in Marina del Rey, I thanked him for picking me up and told him I think it’s hot when the guy comes to the girl.

“You’re just saying that because you want me to come to you more,” he said, not playfully, but aggressively.

That was basically the end for me. But there I was, in his car, heading to dinner. So I stayed pleasant and tried to make the best of it.

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I shared that in the early stages of dating, I find it’s good etiquette for the guy to come to the woman’s neighborhood. He immediately disagreed and started ranting about how dating rules are ridiculous and how they swing in women’s favor. He resented paying for dates and declared he wasn’t looking to “sponsor a woman’s life.”

“If women want equality and equal rights,” he said, “then it should apply all across the board, including dating, and the man shouldn’t have to pay.”

I said women don’t actually have equal rights because we get paid less than men and often receive lower salaries than men in the same position.

I tried to change the subject and reset the mood, but he insisted we keep hashing it out.

I tried to explain masculine/feminine dynamics: providing and protecting, giving and receiving.

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“What does the man get out of this arrangement?” he asked.

It was like watching someone’s personality warp into Mr. Hyde. Then he brought up another point: He’s a single dad of two kids, so he gets tired; and because I don’t have kids, that should factor into who drives where.

At this point, I was barely engaging and focused on eating my hand rolls, and I couldn’t wait to get home.

The check came, and I happily split it, wanting nothing further from him.

In the car back to my place, he remarked: “It’s obvious we’re never gonna see each other again.”

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Obvious, but did it need to be stated?

Then he showed me a Spotify playlist he’d made for me of his favorite electronic music, because he knows I like EDM.

“Oh, that’s sweet,” I said.

“Yeah, that’s how I show interest. Through things like this, not who drives to who,” he replied.

When I got out of the car, we wished each other luck, and I headed inside and shut the door.

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Two hours later, he sent me the playlist. I’ve yet to listen to it.

It wasn’t the distance that ruined it. It was the resentment. I’m not looking for a man who feels burdened by the effort. I’m looking for a man who sees the value of courting a woman in the first place.

The author is a writer, comedian and former psychologist who lives in Venice. She is the creator of the new vertical series “Manfari.” She’s on Instagram: @solange_neue and @manfari.show.

L.A. Affairs chronicles the search for romantic love in all its glorious expressions in the L.A. area, and we want to hear your true story. We pay $400 for a published essay. Email LAAffairs@latimes.com. You can find submission guidelines here. You can find past columns here.

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