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Dementia warning: Don't ever say these 16 things to loved ones with the disease, experts advise

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Dementia warning: Don't ever say these 16 things to loved ones with the disease, experts advise

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Dementia may be a disease of the mind, but its effects can be highly emotional.

Those suffering from cognitive decline can experience frequent changes in emotions and have less control over their feelings, according to the Alzheimer’s Society — which can make communication difficult.

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“Most people do not have regular interactions with those living with dementia, so it can be hard to know the do’s and don’ts of what to say and how to behave,” Dana Eble, outreach manager for the Alzheimer’s Caregivers Network in Detroit, Michigan, told Fox News Digital.

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“Unfortunately, even the most well-meaning of interactions can lead to stress or confusion for someone experiencing cognitive decline.”

When communicating with a dementia patient, experts say it’s important to choose your language carefully and avoid certain phrases or questions, including the items on the list that follows.

Those suffering from cognitive decline can experience frequent changes in emotions and have less control over their feelings. (iStock)

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1. ‘Don’t you remember?’

This topped the list as the worst question to ask someone with dementia, according to experts.

“This question can be frustrating or embarrassing for someone with dementia, as memory loss is a central symptom of their condition,” Timothy Frie, a nutritional neuroscientist in Atlanta, Georgia, who studies how traumatic stress causes neuroinflammation, told Fox News Digital.

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“It can make them feel inadequate or upset about their cognitive decline.”

Forcing the person to acknowledge that they don’t remember a memory or conversation can make them feel bad, added Christina Chartrand, the Florida-based vice president of Senior Helpers, a home care company that often helps dementia patients.

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2. ‘Let me do that for you’

One of the hardest parts of having dementia is the daily realization of things that can no longer be done independently, according to Adria Thompson, a licensed speech-language pathologist in Massachusetts with 10 years of experience in dementia care.

Smiling senior

It is best to avoid arguing or reasoning with someone with dementia, as it will likely anger and agitate them, experts said.  (iStock)

“Often, well-meaning individuals might prematurely take over tasks without asking or assessing if they need to, which can diminish the person’s sense of autonomy,” she told Fox News Digital. 

“Instead of assuming they can’t do something, it’s more respectful to offer help and let them tell you if they need it — and allow them to still do the things they can for as long as possible.”

3. ‘You’re wrong’

It is best to avoid arguing or reasoning with someone with dementia, as it will likely anger and agitate them, experts agreed.

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“People with dementia do not need to be corrected when they believe it’s Tuesday the 13th and not Monday the 1st,” Elizabeth Landsverk, M.D., a California-based geriatrician and founder of Dr Liz Geriatrics, an online education and support resource, told Fox News Digital.

“Keep the peace,” she advised. “It’s better than being right.”

4. ‘Would you like to make plans for next week?’

“As dementia patients lose their sense of time, they lose a frame of reference that would make this question meaningful to them,” said Leonie Rosenstiel, president of Dayspring Resources, Inc., in Albuquerque, New Mexico, which helps families of elders plan and cope with the problems of aging

senior couple comfort eachother

“Repeatedly pointing out that someone is repeating themselves can lead to feelings of frustration and self-consciousness” for that person, an expert said. (iStock)

“If you expect to do something with them at a particular time in the future, they will not be able to keep track of this appointment.”

To prevent frustration, Rosenstiel recommended ensuring that someone else can remember or write down the plans, and that those plans don’t conflict with activities such as medical appointments.

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5. ‘You seem fine’

“Society often has a preconceived notion of what dementia looks and acts like, and if someone doesn’t fit that stereotype, it might seem tempting to use this phrase as a compliment,” noted Thompson.

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“However, this phrase can belittle the individual’s daily struggle and experiences.”

It’s important to be aware that symptoms and experiences can vary greatly among individuals with dementia, Thompson told Fox News Digital.

6. ‘I just told you that’ or ‘You already told me that’

Along the same lines of “Don’t you remember?” experts recommend not asking questions or making statements that are likely to upset the person. 

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Continually “pointing out that someone is repeating themselves can lead to feelings of frustration and self-consciousness,” said Frie.

“It’s better to gently redirect the conversation or respond as if it’s new information.”

Dementia communication: couples interacting

Experts recommend not asking questions or making statements that are likely to upset the person.  (iStock)

This is especially true in the middle stages of their disease, when patients may have moments when they know their brain isn’t working right, according to Jennifer Fink, a caregiver expert in California who facilitates support groups for the Alzheimer’s Association.

7. ‘How have you been feeling this week?’

This might seem like a natural question to ask if it’s been a week since you’ve visited a loved one or friend, and you’re trying to catch up.

Yet it could do more harm than good, Rosenstiel said. 

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“We ask each other questions like this all the time, but someone with dementia might not remember how they were feeling five minutes ago, let alone how they felt yesterday,” she warned. 

“They might make something up, in an effort to satisfy you, or they might get frustrated or angry.”

Woman taking test

“Instead of assuming they can’t do something, it’s more respectful to offer help and let them tell you if they need it — and allow people to still do the things they can for as long as possible,” an expert advised. (iStock)

8. ‘You’re not making any sense’

Criticizing dementia patients’ communication can damage their self-esteem and discourage them from expressing themselves, according to Michael Kramer, a long-term care educator and director of community relations for retirement residences that accommodate seniors with dementia.

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“Having patience and making an effort to understand their perspective helps to maintain their dignity and encourages open communication,” said Kramer, who is based in Ontario.

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9. ‘Do you remember this?’

It’s best to avoid asking if the person recalls specific pieces of information, such a name or date or event, as it can put the person on the spot and feel like a test, experts said.

“Instead, start by introducing yourself,” Eble suggested — “something like, ‘Hey, Grandma, it’s Dana, your granddaughter!’ It might feel strange at first, but it will put your loved one at ease by reminding them of your name and connection to them.”

Woman with caregiver

It’s best to avoid asking if the person recalls specific pieces of information, as it can put them on the spot and feel like a test, experts say. (iStock)

The same goes for events or memories, she said.

Instead of asking if they remember, start with “I remember when…” and then continue with your story. 

“Those with dementia love reminiscing, but don’t frame it as a test of their memory,” Eble added.

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10. ‘You’re being difficult on purpose’

This phrase is “hurtful and dismissive,” Kramer warned. 

“It overlooks the fact that behavioral challenges are a result of the dementia itself, not intentional actions,” he said.

Senior man with nurse

In some cases, phrasing activities as a question can cause confusion for a dementia patient, experts warned. (iStock)

“Using empathy and understanding instead of frustration is crucial in managing these situations.”

Labeling behavior as “difficult” can increase frustration and tension, Frie agreed.

“Understanding that challenging behaviors are often a symptom of the disease can help in responding with patience and empathy,” he said.

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11. Using words like ‘bib’ or ‘diaper’

“As dementia progresses, caregivers may need to start using products to help with incontinence and/or to help make meal times easier,” Eble pointed out.

“Sometimes a limited choice is too much of an effort for a dementia patient.”

She recommended using positive language for these products, such as “protective underwear,” “cloth” or “apron.”

12. ‘Remember, she died last year, we went to the funeral…’

Reminding someone with dementia of the death of a loved one can be upsetting, as the person is likely not retaining this information, according to Kate Granigan, a geriatric social worker and president of the Aging Life Care Association Board in Boston.

Woman caregiver

Reminding someone with dementia of the death of a loved one can be upsetting, as the person is likely not to have retained this information. (iStock)

“This can trigger a grief response over and over again, as if the information is newly learned,” she told Fox News Digital. 

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Instead, she recommended saying something like, “It seems like you are really thinking about Uncle Harold today. Do you have a favorite memory from when you were kids?”

13. ‘That’s not how it happened’

“Dementia can cause confusion and altered perceptions of events,” said Kramer.

“Correcting someone sharply can increase their distress and confusion.”

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Instead, it’s better to validate their experiences and gently guide them rather than insisting on correctness, the expert recommended.

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14. ‘Do you want to [insert activity]?’

In some cases, phrasing activities as a question can cause confusion for a dementia patient, according to Eble. 

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“If you’re the primary caregiver in charge of your loved one’s toileting, showering, feeding or sleeping schedule, instead of asking ‘Do you want to,’ lead with ‘Let’s go to the [bathroom, shower, kitchen],’” she recommended. 

“Adding that bit of direction will help maintain their schedule.”

15. ‘What would you like to wear today?’

Open-ended choices may leave a dementia patient confused or frustrated, noted Rosenstiel. 

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“They also might have no idea whether they’ll need a sweater or not, because they don’t remember what they heard on a weather report an hour ago,” she told Fox News Digital. 

Senior couple walking

Open-ended choices may leave a dementia patient confused or frustrated, an expert advised. (iStock)

A more productive question might be, “Here’s a red sweater and a blue one. Which one would you rather wear?” 

“Even then, sometimes a limited choice is too much of an effort for a dementia patient,” the expert said.

16. ‘Get your coat and shoes, grab your bag and meet me by the door’

Long sentences with multiple parts or commands can be overwhelming and confusing for someone with dementia, according to Granigan. 

 

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“It is more successful to provide one short direction or piece of information at a time,” she told Fox News Digital. 

“Pause between each and guide the person through the task if needed before starting the next.”

Health

6 'healthy eating concepts' are evaluated as true or false by nutrition experts

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6 'healthy eating concepts' are evaluated as true or false by nutrition experts

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When it comes to ideas about healthy eating, there are all sorts of rules, trends and advice about what’s good for you and what isn’t.

Some of the guidance may be legitimate — yet some of it should be taken with a grain of salt.

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Multiple experts and researchers from Mass General Brigham in Boston investigated some popular diet concepts that have been circulating — and separated fact from fiction.

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Here are six popular concepts — and a clear explanation of whether they hold water or not, according to experts.

True or false?

1. ‘To live longer, women should follow the Mediterranean diet’

True. In recent studies, the Mediterranean diet has been shown to be beneficial for overall health.

Mass General Hospital researchers evaluated six myths about healthy eating, including plant-based diets and peanut butter for kids. (iStock)

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Mass General supports this theory, referencing its own study that found women who followed the nutrition plan for more than 25 years had up to 23% lower risk of mortality, with reductions in cardiovascular and cancer-related deaths.

The study also found that introducing a single component of the diet led to a 5% reduction in the long-term risk of death from certain diseases.

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The Mediterranean diet incorporates healthy foods like fruits, vegetables, legumes, olive oil, nuts and fish, while avoiding sugar and processed or red meats.

Most people don’t realize the impact diet has on health and longevity, according to Samia Mora, M.D., director of the Center for Lipid Metabolomics at Brigham and Women’s Hospital.

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Mediterranean diet ingredients

The Mediterranean diet includes foods like fruits, vegetables, legumes, olive oil, nuts and fish, while avoiding sugar and processed or red meats. (iStock)

“What we eat today has major implications for living a long and healthy life,” she wrote in a statement to Fox News Digital.

“The benefits [of the Mediterranean diet] were seen for both cancer and cardiovascular mortality – the top two causes of death for women and men – and related to multiple biological mechanisms, in particular to lower inflammation and insulin resistance and improved metabolism.” 

2. ‘Removing trigger foods is always the best treatment for digestive issues’

False. While some people do suffer from food allergies or autoimmune conditions, the experts at Mass General found this diet concept to be false overall — as many digestive symptoms are known to have “more complex causes.”

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When patients have bad reactions to certain foods, it’s not the food itself causing the issues, but the digestive tract’s response to eating “in general,” according to Kyle Staller, M.D., director of the Gastrointestinal Motility Laboratory at Massachusetts General Hospital.

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Woman clutching her stomach

A poor digestive response might not just be caused by the food you’re eating, a doctor said. (iStock)

“While some people have true allergies to certain foods (for example, an allergy to gluten in celiac disease) or an inability to digest certain foods (such as dairy in lactose intolerance), many symptoms attributed to specific foods are actually driven by your body’s response to eating,” he told Fox News Digital. 

Eating starts a “cascade of nerve activity in the gut” regardless of the kind of food that’s eaten, according to Staller.

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Those with sensitive gut nerves can develop GI discomfort in the form of gas, bloating and a feeling of abnormal fullness.

“These are what we call ‘disorders of gut-brain interaction’ — feeling abnormal sensations even when digestion is seemingly working normally,” Staller said. 

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man with stomach ache

Eating starts a “cascade of nerve activity in your gut” regardless of the kind of food that’s eaten, a doctor said. (iStock)

“Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) is the most classic example.” 

The best way to alleviate these symptoms is to target the abnormal nervous system responses while only eliminating the “most troublesome” foods, according to Staller.

3. ‘Eating blueberries can decrease the risk of some eye diseases’

True. The researchers found this claim to be true: Blueberries indeed can be beneficial for your eyes.

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A Mass General study of nearly 40,000 U.S. middle-aged and older women found that one or more servings of blueberries per week was associated with a 28% lower risk of age-related macular degeneration (AMD), an eye condition that can lead to significant vision loss.

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Close-up on a farmer holding a handful of blueberries at a farm

One or more servings of blueberries per week was associated with a 28% lower risk of conditions that cause vision loss.  (iStock)

Dr. Howard D. Sesso, director of nutrition and supplements research at Brigham and Women’s Hospital, confirmed that blueberries can optimize eye health.

“Blueberries contain anthocyanins, a bioactive polyphenol that gives them their blue color, and has been linked with possible reductions in eye disease,” he told Fox News Digital.

4. ‘Following a plant-based diet will always improve health outcomes’

False, with caveats. Mass General experts say a plant-based diet is not always the best way to go, though it may seem super healthy.

Plant-based nutrition plans have “diverse and sometimes contrasting health effects,” according to Dr. Qi Sun, associate professor of medicine at Brigham and Women’s Hospital.

“Diet is not a magic bullet by itself.”

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A plant-based diet that is dense in refined grains, sugary beverages and candies differs greatly from one containing fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, coffee, tea and more, he noted.

a variety of colorful vegetables

Plant-based diets should be well-rounded to include fruits, vegetables and whole grains, according to an expert. (iStock)

The first diet is associated with “many adverse health outcomes,” according to the researchers.

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The second diet is considered a “healthy version of a plant-based diet,” which Sun said has been “robustly associated with better health outcomes, including lower risk of developing diseases such as diabetes, obesity and gout.”

woman smiles while eating a salad

The “healthy version” of a plant-based diet is proven to lower the risk of developing diseases such as diabetes, obesity and gout, experts say. (iStock)

In a statement sent to Fox News Digital, Sun encouraged people to focus on quality ingredients — such as fresh fruits, non-starchy vegetables, whole grains, legumes and nuts, and olive oil and other vegetable oils — and to limit sugary and salty foods.

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“Don’t forget regular activity and other healthy lifestyle choices,” he advised. “After all, diet is not a magic bullet by itself.”

5. ‘Food location in the grocery store has no impact on purchases’

False. Mass General deemed this concept as flat-out “false,” as the “choice architecture” of the grocery store “strongly influences what we purchase.”

When healthy items are stocked in visible or convenient locations, that increases the likelihood of making a healthier choice, according to the researchers.

The young mother holds her daughter on her hip as she grocery shops

“Healthy choice architecture” refers to when healthy items are stocked in visible or convenient locations, Mass General reported. (iStock)

In the Mass General Hospital cafeteria, the foods and beverages are labeled as red, yellow and green – red being the least healthy and green being the most healthy.

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The researchers found that when the healthiest items were in convenient locations or at eye level, employees were more likely to make healthier choices.

Anne Thorndike, M.D., primary care physician at Massachusetts General Hospital, shared with Fox News Digital that the opposite is also true.

Toddler and mom shopping for fresh organic vegetables in supermarket

People are more likely to choose food items that are convenient and visible, researchers said. (iStock)

“This is well-known by the food industry, which has been placing sugar-sweetened beverages, salty snacks, candy and baked goods in checkout lanes, aisle endcaps and at the front of store,” she said. 

6. ‘Early introduction of foods like peanut butter can prevent allergies’

True. Introducing a small child to foods known to cause allergic reactions can be scary for parents, but Mass General confirmed it can be beneficial in the long run.

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Introducing “developmentally appropriate” forms of peanuts to children between 4 and 6 months old can cause an 80% reduction of peanut allergy in those who are at high risk, according to the LEAP Trial (Learning Early About Peanut Allergy).

father applying peanut butter on toast for little son

Introducing “developmentally appropriate” forms of peanuts to children between 4 and 6 months old can lead to an 80% reduction in peanut allergy in those who are at high risk. (iStock)

Michael Pistiner, M.D., director of Food Allergy Advocacy, Education and Prevention at Mass General Hospital for Children, stressed that these findings show that “timing is important.”

“Once a child reaches a pediatric allergist, it might be too late to prevent some food allergies that could have been avoided with early allergen introduction and family education,” he told Fox News Digital.

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Pistiner added, “With limited access to allergy providers and long wait times that can exceed three months, primary care clinicians play a crucial role in supporting families through infant feeding, early allergen introduction, eczema management, and food allergy diagnosis and referral.”

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Parvovirus or ‘slapped cheek disease’ is on the rise, CDC warns: Here’s what to know

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Parvovirus or ‘slapped cheek disease’ is on the rise, CDC warns: Here’s what to know

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A respiratory disease known as parvovirus B19 is on the rise in the U.S. among all age groups, according to a recent advisory from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

The CDC issued the health alert on Aug. 13 after European public health authorities reported “unusually” high numbers of cases in 14 countries during the first quarter of 2024, the advisory said.

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The virus typically causes a blotchy rash on the cheeks that appears as if someone has slapped them — hence its nickname, “slapped cheek disease.”

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“Parvovirus can be a very mild infection in many people, but if you are pregnant or are immunocompromised in any way, you are at a much greater risk of serious illness,” Dr. Aaron Glatt, chief of infectious diseases at Mount Sinai South Nassau Hospital on Long Island, New York, told Fox News Digital.

What is parvovirus B19?

Parvovirus B19 is a virus that can be easily spread by respiratory droplets in the air after an infected person coughs or sneezes, according to the CDC. 

A respiratory disease known as parvovirus B19 is on the rise in the U.S. among all age groups, according to a recent advisory from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). (iStock)

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Children are often infected at school and spread it to other kids through close personal contact, then later to adults when they come home, experts say.

Approximately 50% of people who were not previously infected contract the virus from an infected family member — while 20% to 50% of susceptible students and staff become infected during school outbreaks, the advisory notes.

“The virus is highly contagious and can spread asymptomatically,” Dr. Marc Siegel, senior medical analyst for Fox News and clinical professor of medicine at NYU Langone Medical Center, told Fox News Digital.

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Parvovirus B12 is also known as “fifth disease” because it was previously listed fifth on a list of common childhood viral illnesses that cause rashes, according to Mayo Clinic.

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(The top three on this list are measles, rubella and scarlet fever.)

Symptoms of the virus

Many people who get infected don’t have symptoms, but some will experience sickness, according to the advisory.

About a week after an exposure, susceptible children may complain of flu-like symptoms, including fever, muscle pain and fatigue, which generally last less than a week.

People are most contagious in this early phase of the illness.

Child with flushed cheek rash

The virus typically causes a blotchy rash on the cheeks that appears as if someone has slapped them — hence the nickname “slapped cheek disease.” (iStock)

Several days after the fever starts, children often develop the hallmark blotchy “slapped cheek” rash — a helpful clue that health care providers use to diagnose the illness. 

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People are generally not infectious by the time they develop the rash, experts say.

A fine, “lacy” rash may follow on the chest, back, buttocks, or arms and legs that is sometimes itchy, according to the CDC. It usually goes away in about a week to 10 days.

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Adults are less likely to develop the “slapped cheek” rash. Their most common symptoms are a generalized rash on the body and joint pain that affects the hands, feet and knees.

In some cases, adults only experience joint pain, which usually lasts one to three weeks – although it can last for months. It usually resolves without long-term complications.

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Antibodies provide immunity

Antibodies from prior infection help prevent recurrence of parvovirus B12, the CDC said.

“Once infected, you have a lifetime immunity,” Siegel noted.

The largest increase in infections was among children ages 5 to 9. 

Most adults in the United States are immune — with 50% having detectable antibody levels by age 20, and more than 70% acquiring them by age 40, per the advisory.

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The share of people who have had a recent infection dropped below 3% between 2022 and 2024, but increased to 10% in June of this year.

The largest increase in infections was among children ages 5 to 9, going from 15% to 40% in that time frame, the health alert noted.

People who work in settings with close contact with children, such as schools and day cares, are at a greater risk of infection.

High-risk populations

Most healthy adults and children only have a mild illness, but people with weakened immune systems, pregnant women and those with chronic blood disorders can develop serious health complications from this virus, according to the CDC.

“Anyone with those conditions should be very quick to seek out medical attention to help address potential complications,” Glatt noted.

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Pregnant woman at doctor

Pregnant women who are susceptible to the virus may spread the illness to their babies, the CDC warned. (iStock)

Pregnant women who are susceptible to the virus may spread the illness to their babies, the CDC warned.

“Unfortunately, there is an increased risk of miscarriage if you get parvovirus during pregnancy,” Glatt said.

      

Parvovirus infection may lead to adverse outcomes — such as severe anemia in the fetus and miscarriage — in 5% to 10% of cases during pregnancy, with the highest risk at between 9 and 20 weeks of fetal gestation, per the advisory.

Parvovirus B19

While parvovirus B19 can affect humans of all ages, only two out of 10 individuals will have physical symptoms. (iStock)

“There is an increased risk of complications in patients with significant immunocompromising conditions, such as those who have leukemia, have received an organ transplant or have an HIV infection,” Glatt added.

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Since most adults are immune to the virus, however, many pregnant women are protected from the virus, the CDC noted.

Treatment is mainly ‘supportive care’

Infected pregnant women primarily receive supportive care, which means treating the underlying symptoms and monitoring for severe fetal anemia, according to the advisory.

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People with weakened immune systems or those with chronic blood disorders can sometimes develop bone marrow failure as a result of the virus, the advisory added. 

In that case, treatment often includes blood cell transfusions and intravenous immunoglobulin (IVIG).

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Woman face rash

People are generally not infectious by the time they develop the rash, experts say. (iStock)

(IVIG is a collection of antibodies that strengthens the immune system, according to Mayo Clinic’s website.)

There is currently no vaccine to prevent parvovirus B19, and most people infected with the virus will recover without any long-term complications.

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“While there is no specific treatment for parvovirus infection, recognizing the complications and addressing them early may be of benefit,” Glatt added.

Hand-washing can also help to prevent transmission, according to Siegel.

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Remote Pharmacy: Facts, Figures and Real Patient Interviews | Woman's World

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