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Your money habits trace back to childhood, financial psychotherapist says. Here's how to fix them

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Your money habits trace back to childhood, financial psychotherapist says. Here's how to fix them

Child saving money in a glass jar at home

Pinstock | E+ | Getty Images

Your relationship with money might seem random, but one expert says it offers clues about your childhood — and understanding this could help overcome toxic spending habits.

Vicky Reynal, a financial psychotherapist and author of “Money on Your Mind,” told CNBC Make It that there are psychological reasons behind our spending habits, and many of these attitudes stem from childhood experiences.

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“Our emotional experiences growing up will shape who we become,” she said.

For example, someone who felt secure during childhood might feel that they deserve good things, and later in life may be more likely to negotiate a higher salary or enjoy the money they have, Reynal said. Whereas someone who experienced childhood neglect may grow up with low self-esteem and act this out through money behaviors.

This could include feeling guilty when spending money because they don’t feel they deserve good things, or splashing the cash to impress because they feel unworthy of attention.

“The little toddler that goes up to their parents to show them their scribble — how they get responded to will give them a message about how the world will respond to them,” Reynal added.

Scarcity or wealth

Reynal said “the money lessons we learn growing up” are largely shaped by whether we grew up in an environment of scarcity or wealth.

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“To give you an example, growing up in scarcity, people that manage to move themselves out of that economic reality, and maybe in their own adult life manage to accumulate quite a bit of wealth, it’s quite common for them to struggle with what they call the scarcity mindset,” Reynal said.

This is a pattern of thinking that fixates on the idea that you don’t have enough of something, like money. A scarcity mindset means someone might struggle to enjoy the money they’ve earned and be anxious about spending it, Reynal added.

Alternatively, there are people who grew up with little but became wealthy, and are now very careless with money.

“They’re giving themselves everything that they longed for when they were little so they might go on the other extreme and start spending it quite carelessly, because now they want to give their children everything that their parents couldn’t give them,” Reynal added.

Stop self-sabotaging

The key to overcoming toxic spending habits is to stop self-sabotaging — a common behavior — according to Reynal.

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“Often behind a pattern of financial self-sabotage, there are deep-seated emotional reasons, and it could range from feelings of anger, feelings of un-deservedness, to maybe a fear of independence and autonomy,” she said.

To identify these, you first have to determine what your financial habits and inconsistencies are, Reynal said, giving an example of someone who might overspend in the evenings.

“Is it boredom? Is it loneliness? What is the feeling that you might be trying to address with the overspending?” she said.

“That’s already giving you a clue as to what you could be doing different. So, if it’s boredom, what can you replace this terrible financial habit with?”

Reynal said she had a young client who would always run out of money within the first two weeks of the month. She asked them: “What would happen if you were financially responsible?”

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The client revealed that they feared risking their relationship with their mother because every time they ran out of money, they called their mother to ask for more.

“Their parents had divorced a long time ago, and the only time they ever spoke to their mother was to ask for money,” Reynal said. “They had a vested interest in being bad with money, because if they were to become good with money, then they had the problem of: ‘I might not have an excuse to call mother anymore and I don’t know how to build that relationship again’.”

The financial psychotherapist recommended being “curious and nonjudgmental” when considering the root of bad spending behavior.

“So sometimes asking ourselves: “What feelings would I be left with if I actually didn’t self-sabotage financially, or if I weren’t so generous with my friends?’ That can start to reveal the reason why you might be doing it,” she added.

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Finance

When should kids start learning about money? Advice from local financial advisor

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When should kids start learning about money? Advice from local financial advisor

When should kids start learning about money, and preparing for adult expenses like rent, car payments, and insurance?

It’s a question asked recently by an ARC Seattle viewer.

We took the question to Adam Powell, Financial Advisor at Private Advisory Group in Redmond. Powell talked with ARC Seattle co-anchor Steve McCarron to share insights on the right age to form money habits, common financial mistakes parents unknowingly pass down to their children, and practical tips to set kids up for long-term financial success.

Find more ARC Seattle stories on our YouTube page.

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Soft-saving era? Gen-Z embraces new financial trend that puts experiences over long-term planning

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Soft-saving era? Gen-Z embraces new financial trend that puts experiences over long-term planning

LOS ANGELES (KABC) — Many Gen-Zers are adopting a financial approach that prioritizes quality of life in the present, a trend that’s being called “soft saving.”

Bob Wheeler, a CPA, described the mindset as a shift in how young adults balance their current lifestyle with longterm planning.

“It’s really a financial approach of ‘I want to make sure I have a good quality of life, and I’m thinking about the future,’ but not as much as the present,” Wheeler said.

For many Gen Z consumers, that can mean spending more on experiences – like vacations or concerts – rather than saving for major purchases like a car or home.

Wheeler said the approach can offer emotional benefits.

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“I think there are definitely benefits, I mean, less anxiety, feeling like life is what you want it to be, fulfillment, versus saving for later on,” he said.

Still, financial experts caution against ignoring longterm stability. Wheeler encouraged young workers to take advantage of employer-sponsored retirement plans.

“They’re not going to do the max. They’re going to do enough to make sure they’re getting the match from your employer, so maybe they’re doing 3% or 5%. Maybe they’re not maxing out their IRAs. Maybe they’re doing $2,500,” he said.

He also stressed the importance of building an emergency fund, typically enough to cover six months of expenses.

“I want people to enjoy their life now because tomorrow is not promised,” Wheeler said. “I also just really reiterate to them ‘and you need to have some money set aside because we don’t know.’”

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But saving for a home may not be practical for everyone. In some places, renting can be cheaper, and tenants avoid maintenance costs.

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Local M&A advisory firm Matrix acquired by banking giant Citizens Financial – Richmond BizSense

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Local M&A advisory firm Matrix acquired by banking giant Citizens Financial – Richmond BizSense

Matri x Capital Markets Group is now a division of Citizens Financial Group. (Image Courtesy Citizens Financial Group)

Matrix Capital Markets Group is used to helping businesses line up mergers and acquisitions.

For its latest transaction, the Richmond-based M&A advisory and investment banking firm was itself the subject of the deal.

Matrix was acquired last week by Rhode Island-based banking giant Citizens Financial Group.

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Matrix, along with its nearly three dozen employees, including 20 in Richmond, are now operating as a division of Citizens, within the $226 billion bank’s investment banking arm, Citizens JMP Securities.

Financial terms of the deal were not disclosed. It involved an asset purchase that bought out Matrix’s 15 shareholders.

The deal ends Matrix’s 38-year run as an independent firm, a notable streak in an industry where consolidation of smaller firms into larger ones is common.

Matrix was founded in Richmond in 1988 by Scott Frayser and Jeff Moore and has since hit its stride by building a niche in handling deals for companies in the downstream energy and convenience retail sector.

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The firm has been run in recent years by president Spencer Cavalier and Cedric Fortemps, co-head of the firm’s largest investment banking team.

Fortemps said Matrix began to search for a larger acquirer last year.

Cedric Fortemps

Cedric Fortemps

“The board decided to see if we could find a partner and a transaction that could build on what we’ve built thus far,” Fortemps said.

Matrix enlisted investment banking firm Houlihan Lokey to help in the search and negotiate on its behalf, along with the law firm Calfee as its legal advisor.

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Fortemps said Citizen rose to the top of the pack of suitors in part due to JMP Securities’ track record of acquiring smaller firms like Matrix.

“They have acquired four other firms very similar to ours. Seeing the successes they had with those groups… the playbook is really to let the firms continue to operate the way they had,” Fortemps said.

Matrix’s Richmond office in the Gateway Plaza building downtown will continue to operate, as will its second office in Baltimore.

The Matrix brand will continue to be used for the time being but will eventually be phased out.

Fortemps said the firm’s success and particularly its growth in recent years has been fueled by its expertise in working deals for downstream energy clients – such as wholesale fuels distributors, propane and heating oil distributors – and convenience store and gas station chains.

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Matrix’s rise in that sector began in 1997, when it hired Tom Kelso, who lived in Baltimore and owned a heating oil fuels distribution business. Kelso, who would eventually serve as the firm’s president prior to Cavalier, had a vision to launch an M&A firm for that industry.

“It took seven to eight years to grow it but eventually we were able to get a reputation of really high quality work and those successes on smaller transactions resulted in us being considered for larger deals,” Fortemps said.

Today, 21of the firm’s 26 investment bankers work on the team that handles deals for those industries. It controls about 40% market share for the M&A market for those sectors, Fortemps said.

The firm closes nearly two dozen transactions a year over the last five years and has closed 500 deals since its inception.

The typical value of its deals is more than $20 million, though the transactions it has closed over the last three years in the energy and convenience retail sectors have grown to $140 million per deal, Matrix said.

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Its largest deal to date was closed last year, involving the $1.6 billion acquisition of convenience store chain Giant Eagle.

Matrix also works deals in other industries such as lubricants distribution, automotive after-market suppliers and car washes, as well as outdoor recreation and the marine industry.

After decades of representing buyers and sellers in M&A, Fortemps said the Citizens deal was a new experience for the Matrix team: being the target of the transaction, rather than the ones facilitating it.

“It certainly made me appreciate everything our clients have to go through on the other side of the table,” he said.

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