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The Queen Mary film review: This ship flounders in a murky sea of B-movie clichés

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The Queen Mary film review: This ship flounders in a murky sea of B-movie clichés

A still from ‘Queen Mary’

The spookiest thing about The Queen Mary was when the usher came up and asked to see my ticket as there seemed to be two extra viewers in the audience. I was all set to have the person sitting next to me swing their favourite axe and end my misery once and for all. That, alas, was not to be as this supposed horror film finally ground to a close after many false endings.

The Queen Mary (English)

Director: Gary Shore

Cast: Alice Eve, Joel Fry, Lenny Rush, Angus Wright, Jim Piddock, Wil Coban, Nell Hudson, Dorian Lough

Run-time: 114 minutes

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Storyline: Two families separated by time experience horrific events aboard the luxury liner

Gary Shore, who directed the dreadful Dracula Untoldhas helmed this exploration into all the ghouls that lurk aboard the luxury liner. The RMS Queen Mary with RMS Queen Elizabeth sailed between Southampton and New York. The Queen Mary sailed from May 27, 1936 to October 31, 1967, after which she was permanently moored in Long Beach, California. The ship is supposed to be haunted and runs tours during Halloween of all the scary attractions.

Shore, who has written the script with Stephen Oliver and Tom Vaughan, has incorporated these tales of supposed haunting into the movie. Telling the story over two timelines—1938 and the present day—The Queen Mary follows two families through the scary, gory events aboard the ship of horrors. In 1938, the Ratch family from the third class, David (Wil Coban), his tarot-reading wife Gwen (Nell Hudson), and their young daughter, Jackie (Florrie Wilkinson), crash a Halloween party on the ship. Jackie loves to dance and wants to be in the movies. David hopes a film producer at the party will cast Jackie if he were to see her in action.

In the present, Anne (Alice Eve) visits the decommissioned ocean liner with her son, Lukas (Lenny Rush), and husband Patrick (Joel Fry). She has a proposal for a book on the liner. The book, she hopes, will save both the ship and her marriage.

Also Read | ‘Bhoot Part One: The Haunted Ship’ review: That sinking feeling

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Strange things happen to both families. The Ratches are caught out and told to leave the party, though Jackie stays and dances with Fred Astaire (Wesley Alfvin). David experiences a break with reality much to Gwen’s increasing unease and horror. Despite warnings, Captain Carradine (Jim Piddock) is not willing to sacrifice speed as that would mean the loss of the Blue Riband, an accolade for the fastest passenger ship.  

In the present, Lukas is separated from his family and meets a little girl by the pool—supposed to be a portal to another dimension and the most haunted part of the ship. Captain Bittner (Dorian Lough), who may or may not be the actual captain but enjoys wearing the uniform, takes mysterious phone calls from disembodied voices. 

While very good looking, thanks to Shore’s advertising credentials, The Queen Mary is as long-winded as its meandering corridors. Also, wonder why “Haunting of” was dropped from the title. A ship provides the perfect space for horror films and one with as glorious a history as Queen Mary should have been a cinch for thrills and spills. That is not to be and the action is as murky as the ghostly lights on the ship and in the end you feel like the lady at the piano, banging her head on the keys, begging to be let out.  

The Queen Mary is currently running in theatres

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Kensuke's Kingdom Review: Simple & Heartfelt Animation

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Kensuke's Kingdom Review: Simple & Heartfelt Animation

Kensuke’s Kingdom takes full advantage of its simple story with vivid animation and detail that evoke heartfelt childlike wonder.


Directors: Neil Boyle & Kirk Hendry
Genre: Animated, Adventure
Run Time: 84′
UK & Irish Release: August 2, 2024
US Release: TBA
Where to watch: in cinemas

Kensuke’s Kingdom is a British 2-D animated film … which, the more I think about it, I can’t remember the last time I ever saw one of those. This work of animation is based on Michael Morpurgo’s 1999 novel that I had never even heard of, but having seen the film and then read the summary of the book’s plot, I can almost guarantee it would have moved me had I read it as a kid.

Thankfully, this film adaptation brought out that reaction of childlike wonder in a distinctly simple, heartfelt way that very few animated films – hell, very few films, period – manage to do.

In Kensuke’s Kingdom, Michael (Aaron MacGregor) is a boy who’s traveling at sea with his family. But when a storm throws him and his dog overboard, they’re washed up on a remote island. They eventually come across a former Japanese World War II soldier named Kensuke (Ken Watanabe, of Godzilla), who’s turned the island into his own haven. Michael soon assimilates into his … well, kingdom, and the two of them fill in missing pieces of each other as they survive together … along with Stella the dog. Stella the dog is very important.

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I know this premise may not sound too extraordinary, and at its core, it’s really not. You’ve seen some variation of this type of story before. But in the case of Kensuke’s Kingdom, it’s all about the execution that takes full advantage of its simplicity. The film doesn’t try to throw a bunch of zany jokes at you, it doesn’t fall back on hand-holding or excessive verbal exposition for the kids, and it absolutely doesn’t suffer from the rushed pacing that I’ve criticized other family-oriented animated films ad nauseum for doing (which is shocking, considering the movie’s length of just 84 minutes).

I really need to stick to that last point, because it contributes to what a graceful film Kensuke’s Kingdom is. It wants you to relish in the beauty of its landscapes, sharply naturalistic sound work, and smaller details that a lot of animated films wouldn’t necessarily think to include, like the unspoken hesitation of a character to go somewhere while another moves unwaveringly, or the proper seconds needed for a delayed reaction to a certain revelation, or every lifelike movement of Stella. Much more time than I was expecting is spent on Michael stranded on the island before he meets Kensuke, making you feel not just every sight, sound, and touch of such a remote environment, but the passage of days he spends stuck there all alone and the almost jarring contrast when he finds another person to talk with and receive help from.

Kensuke's Kingdom
Kensuke’s Kingdom (Modern Films)

The animation has an almost sketchy quality to it that, for the most part, really complements that rugged, simple story. That doesn’t even include the couple of scenes where the form is switched up. The first instance is cute and fitting of a good old family bonding scene, but the second one is downright chilling as it delivers backstory in a remarkable paint-like style that’s married to brilliant, multilayered visuals. I just don’t like the facial animations on Michael and his family. They’re a little stiff and occasionally lifeless, especially when compared to Kensuke’s expressions that I get a lot more emotion out of (despite him being the most reserved character of the film).

At the core of Kensuke’s Kingdom is the relationship between Michael, Kensuke, and Stella. Yes, I’m including her because dogs are better than people and deserve equal billing. Especially this one. Both human characters are missing something crucial, with Michael’s being obvious – a sense of responsibility and maturity – and Kensuke’s being revealed later. On the surface, this is your typical young-boy-befriends-old-wise-man storyline, but the pacing and visual storytelling are so good and bolstered by the fact that Kensuke himself speaks no English. This was apparently changed from the book, and it’s a really smart decision that makes their bond stick out in a unique way and feel all the more impactful that it happens at all. It even adds a cultural undercurrent to their connection that a lot of kids – and let’s be honest, many adults – could really learn from.

I was even starting to dread the possibility of Michael reuniting with his family because he’d grown so close to Kensuke and his home, and Kensuke clearly came to see him as a son. But obviously, Michael could never forget about the loved ones he would leave behind forever by staying. The more I thought about it – and the film quietly lets you think about it a lot – the more my heart broke at the thought of either scenario. Without revealing the outcome, the ending genuinely got me emotional for all of these reasons.

Going into Kensuke’s Kingdom, however, I had one major fear, because I saw one of the major developments of the film in its trailer: a group of poachers arrives to terrorize the island and the main cast’s animal friends. I was dreading this as potential film-ruining because it would turn this warm, minimalist story of friendship with no forced conflict into another evil-white-man-versus-nature story that we’ve seen a billion times. The Wild Robot’s already gonna make that mistake later this year, so I was ready to have this film tainted as a whole for the same reason.

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Kensuke’s Kingdom: Trailer (Modern Films)

But despite what the marketing may tell you, this is not the film’s focus or even one of the main driving forces of the plot. It happens for around ten minutes, the characters reel in response and grow closer … and then the story moves on. There’s no big climax where our heroes join forces to save their home or anything like that. We just get to see more of the proper progression and endgame of their journey together. Words can’t describe how relieved I am to say that. Sure, the character growth yielded from this could have been done more organically, but screw it. I’ll take it.

As a story, Kensuke’s Kingdom isn’t spectacular, but it’s told in such an engaging way that puts razor-sharp focus on all of its strengths. I can see a lot of people coming out of it thinking it was simply “cute” and not much more, and I would understand that. But as someone who’s had an admittedly complicated relationship with more eccentric animated films and shows, I think I just appreciate this one for not falling into most of tropes and stylistic choices that others do. That, and Kensuke’s Kingdom brought me back to childhood memories of reading similar survival tales like The Hatchet or The Cay, so that chord was struck with enough intensity to penetrate my rusty, cynical heart. There was clearly a lot of love put into this film, and I’m happy to give my own love back to it.


Kensuke’s Kingdom will be released in UK and Irish cinemas on August 2, 2024.

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind Film Review – Loud And Clear Reviews

Miyazaki’s Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind has an engaging narrative, strong leads, spectacular visuals, and an environmental theme.

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Coup! (2024) – Movie Review

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Coup! (2024) – Movie Review

Coup!, 2024.

Written and Directed by Joseph Schuman and Austin Stark.
Starring Peter Sarsgaard, Billy Magnussen, Sarah Gadon, Skye P. Marshall, Faran Tahir, Kristine Nielsen, Callum Vinson, Willa Dunn, and Fisher Stevens.

SYNOPSIS:

A mischievous cook leads an uprising against a wealthy family on a seaside estate. 

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It is surprising that, at least to my knowledge, it has taken this long for a film about the Spanish flu to be made, not so subtly pointing out the strong similarities between that time and the most recent global pandemic. Writers/directors Joseph Schuman and Austin Stark have also infused Coup! with a class warfare, eat-the-rich angle that is equally blunt but also far too familiar and derivative of recent works to function anywhere near as effective as observing characters in the early 1900s going through a health crisis and under lockdown.

The other unique angle here is that the wealthy journalist isolating his family overseas (making for sly criticism of modern reckless Americans abandoning the country to be reckless and wild somewhere with fewer cases, stupidly assuming the same thing won’t happen there) is a performative progressive comfortable misleading and outright deceiving his readers with no self-awareness. Jay Horton (Billy Magnussen, gradually more and more amusing as his world and image come crumbling down) paints himself as a hero on the front lines when, in reality, he is holed up and essentially ordering a small group of servants to endanger themselves day after day to get whatever supplies they need. Whatever heart of gold he pretends to have is immediately transparent, forcing these workers to live together in a small, cramped outhouse away from the estate. Again, it’s a case of someone progressive in theory but not in practice, which sadly exists among some wealthy elites today.

Among those workers is the flamboyant, jewelry-adorned chef Floyd Monk (Peter Sarsgaard tearing up the screen with an intelligent, charismatic, and rebellious swagger), new to the ranks and instantaneously questioning those around him why they are so complacent being treated subhuman when they are risking their health daily for this family to live happily, and more specifically, Jay to continue putting out a false image of himself in the papers while also anxiously awaiting some kind of promotion and public adoration.

Little by little, Floyd wins the support of his peers while casually and calmly worming his way into the family’s lives and dismantling the façade. A vegetarian family, Floyd quickly and easily turns Jay into a hunter, especially as he sees the respect it earns from his wife (Sarah Gadon) and children. Still, Jay always remains skeptical that Floyd has sinister motives, and so do we, considering a startling prologue involving death. Speaking of that wife, Floyd also uses that charm to sway her over to his side romantically, especially as Jay increasingly becomes more abrasive and paranoid over how likable the cook presents himself.

Perhaps this review makes it sound like the film criticizes Jay for not being a traditional manly man, but that would be a disingenuous reading: it’s more about how he is so deceptive and full of himself that there isn’t much redeeming about him or anyone who does actually practice what they preach. Nevertheless, entertainment is about all Coup! has going for it because the trajectory of all of this is predictable until the end, with little to no swerves. Thankfully, the performances lean into the fun of this concept and juxtaposition between past and present pandemics, not playing the characters too seriously. It’s a film that knows it needs at least to have some lightness despite its obviousness and effectively succeeds.

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Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ ★ ★ / Movie: ★ ★ ★

Robert Kojder is a member of the Chicago Film Critics Association and the Critics Choice Association. He is also the Flickering Myth Reviews Editor. Check here for new reviews, follow my Twitter or Letterboxd, or email me at MetalGearSolid719@gmail.com

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=embed/playlist

 

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Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Abigail’ on Peacock, a delightfully gory vampire horror-comedy

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Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Abigail’ on Peacock, a delightfully gory vampire horror-comedy

I can’t remember the last decent vampire movie I saw, so thank the deities for Abigail (now streaming on Peacock, in addition to VOD services like Amazon Prime Video), which is one hell of a bloodletter with a convoluted backstory. The film originated as a remake of Dracula’s Daughter, and was slotted as an entry in Universal’s Dark Universe horror franchise; but once that ill-fated idea went kerplotz, the directorial team of Tyler Gillett and Matt Bettinelli-Olpin (Ready or Not and the two most recent Scream films) took the helm and made the movie under their Radio Silence banner. My expectations were low, as the Screams felt like rehash and the drowsiness from lame-ass Dracula flick The Last Voyage of the Demeter lingered, but if anything will make an old cynic enthusiastic about vampires again, it’s Abigail.   

ABIGAIL: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

The Gist: We open in what seems like a completely different movie. No, seriously. It’s a kidnapping thriller in which a cadre of misfit criminals bust into a rich man’s mansion and steal his 12-year-old daughter for a $50 million ransom. It’s one of those Reservoir Dogs-type jobs where none of the crooks know each other’s names so there’ll be no ratting on anyone, and they get nicknames, and all that. Our lead is Joey (Melissa Barrera), who seems a little out of place with this crew of freaks, probably because she’s the true protag with big, soft, sympathetic eyes that she uses to look at the photo of her estranged son on her phone. She’s also not thrilled to learn, moments before they bust in, that their target is a little girl. But there’s money to be made and a job to do, and her part of it is to knock the kid out with an injection.

The others are pretty much a bunch of mixed nuts: Frank (Dan Stevens) leads the crew and wears glasses that tell us he’s slick and shifty like the gearbox on a Ferrari. Peter (Kevin Durand) is a man mighty of muscle but slow of mind. Rickles (Will Catlett) is the poker-faced sniper. Sammy (Kathryn Newton) is the sassy hacker. Dean (Angus Cloud) is the getaway driver who’s got naught but a couple of chiclets rattling around where his brains should be. They snatch Abigail (Alisha Weir) and convene with plan mastermind Lambert (Giancarlo Esposito) in a dilapidated mansion with a giant elevator cage as a centerpiece – I wonder if it’ll come in handy at all should anyone need it – and decor ranging from cluster-o’-antlers light fixtures to gross taxidermy and crumbling old frescoes. No, really, frescoes! I’m sure nothing bad has ever happened in this place. It’s a bit of a fixer-upper but after several thousand hours of work and exorcisms, it’ll be so cozy!

Being the nice person around here, relatively speaking, Joey comforts poor little Abigail, who’s still wearing her tutu from ballet rehearsal. Being the shitbird around here, and the specific breed of shitbird played by Dan Stevens, Frank threatens poor little Abigail with his gun – and finds out she’s the daughter of a notorious gazillionaire who’s rumored to have a henchman capable of “tearing people apart like an animal.” That might, key word here being “might,” explain how one of them ends up with their head being detached from their body in a rather disgusting and hilarious fashion. And just when you thought this crew of crooks had exchanged enough prickly gettin’-to-know-ya banter, well, when people are fighting for their lives, they really get to know each other, especially their insides, and extra-especially when those insides become outsides.

ABIGAIL MOVIE STREAMING
Photo: Everett Collection

What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: It’s no secret that Abigail is the vampire around these parts, and that she likes to plie and jete in between masticating her victims (it’s in the trailers and everything), so obviously the sequel needs to be ABIGAIL VS. M3GAN. ABIGAIL VS. M3GAN! Someone needs to make ABIGAIL VS. M3GAN! I mean, why couldn’t it exist in a world that gave us Freddy vs. Jason?

Performance Worth Watching: Barrera is a terrific Final Girl. And Weir throws herself whole-hog into the demonic role (it’s a lot of fun hearing this adorable kid spew obscenities like a sailor who accidentally dropped anchor on his toe). Stevens has his terrifically sleazy moments and Durand delivers some nicely modulated comedy. But I gotta go with Lisa Frankenstein herself, Newton, who slays a few one-liners and makes the absolute most out of the movie’s most demented sequence. 

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Memorable Dialogue: You haven’t lived until you’ve heard Stevens quip, “Sammy, those are f—in’ onions” to the dimwit tasked with finding garlic to combat vampires. 

Sex and Skin: None.

Our Take: In retrospect, the best joke in Abigail is how it starts off a little slow and dry and a lot like many other bickering-bad-guys crime thrillers, then subtly becomes one of the year’s most uproarious comedies thanks to a collection of nutty performances and exquisitely timed bursts of pustulent gore. Horror movies are often populated with characters I like to call one-by-oners, because the monster or slasher or alien picks them off one at a time, thus drawing out the plot to feature-length. But they rarely feature one-by-oners with much personality. Abigail is unique in that you’re loath to see the one-by-oners die, because it means they no longer exist to say and do hilarious shit anymore. 

On the other hand, they die in a fashion that’s so gruesome and entertaining, you’re too slackjawed to mourn their passing. The film absolutely functions within the confines of formulaic horror – put jerks in a creepy house and slaughter away – but adorns the familiarities with a few visual eccentricities, some amusingly silly twists and a screenplay that sets up its talented, tonally on-point cast to succeed. Abigail is a case where it’s not the material but what you do with it that counts, and Gillett and Bettinelli-Olpin deliver the goods with wit, a little bit of suspense and some gloriously gross buckets of blood, just like Grandma likes it.

Our Call: There are times when Abigail doesn’t make sense and is not a perfect movie but I had too much fun watching it and refuse to nitpick it so STREAM IT. Thank you.

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John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

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