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Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Unicorn Wars’ on VOD, a Deranged Animation About The World’s Most Violent Teddy Bears

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Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Unicorn Wars’ on VOD, a Deranged Animation About The World’s Most Violent Teddy Bears

This week on WTF Theater is Unicorn Wars (now streaming on VOD providers like Amazon Prime Video), which is your common extremely violent animated movie about cutesy-poo religious-zealot teddy bears bent on slaughtering all of the unicorns within the land and due to this fact bringing a couple of prophesied utopia. I can learn your ideas now: “Once more? Didn’t 80 for Brady JUST cowl that very same materials?” Possibly – I’m fairly certain Lily Tomlin and her buddies additionally chanted the slogan “HONOR, PAIN AND CUDDLES!” similar to the warmongering teddies in director Alberto Vazquez’s follow-up to his Goya-winning debut Birdboy: The Forgotten Youngsters. In fact, there’s at all times hope his movie gives a contemporary angle on the identical ol’ identical ol’, proper? 

The Gist: A sleepy, peaceable forest. Birds twitter. Bunnies hop. Unicorns saunter. A kind of unicorns is called Maria, and he or she seeks out her mom however as a substitute finds a horrible existential sludge monster devouring no matter is in its path. ELSEWHERE: “Love Camp,” reads an indication. It’s the place teddy bears bust their asses in fundamental navy coaching. A drill sergeant named Ironstroke (Manu Heras) barks orders. We meet a number of the teddy bears – they’ve names like Coco, Pandi, Pompom and Snuggle. All of the bears are extremely useless and vaguely homosexual. They hug and kiss one another and apply capturing arrows whose lethal piercing arrowheads are formed like little crimson hearts. They attend church providers led by the Father (Txema Regalado), who reads from a bible-tome dictating a genocidal battle towards the unicorns, and stating that the bear who drinks the blood of the final unicorn will turn out to be “good-looking” and immortal. “Good unicorn, useless unicorn,” everybody chants in church. “Good unicorn, useless unicorn.”

Our primaries listed below are bear brothers Tubby (Jaione Insausti), who’s pink and chubby, and Bluey (Jon Goirizelaia), who’s blue and sociopathic. Tubby appears to be the one one who has any disgrace about his bodily look. He additionally wets the mattress he shares together with his brother, who suggests he sneak the soiled sheets into the laundry, then humiliates him in entrance of all of the others mid-sneak. The bears wile away the times getting ready for battle – they’ve bows and arrows and hand grenades, however no weapons. They yearn to eat scrumptious blueberries however must make do with pukey porridge. The navy brass considers this squad’s ineptitude, then shrugs; they’re utterly expendable. We get flashbacks to Tubby and Bluey’s childhood, which was unhappy and traumatic and absolutely formed them into the empathetic gent and maniacal lunatic they’re now.

Then, lastly, a mission. Ironstroke will lead Tubby and Bluey and the remainder of the battalion into the woods to seek out their misplaced comrades. Like most issues on this storybook actuality, the woods appears like an explosion of Infants R Us pastels – an explosion of Infants R Us pastels stuffed with unseen horrors. Living proof, the frolicking unicorns, who look like completely cheap woodland creatures and never almost as ideologically repulsive because the bears, so possibly the unicorns aren’t fairly so horrible? There are rainbow-striped caterpillars that encourage nightmarish hallucinations when the gloop is sucked out of them, and a sequence throughout which the scent of burning fluff absolutely won’t ever escape their cute little button noses. That is all f—ed up stuff, however we haven’t even gotten to the extremely disturbing graphic violence but, with all of the gutted unicorns and impaled teddy bears. Adorbs!

Unicorn Wars
Photograph: Prime Video

What Motion pictures Will It Remind You Of?: Unicorn Wars is like Full Metallic Jacket meets Apocalypse Now however with Care Bears, with the aesthetics of Heavy Metallic and the bleeding cute animals of Watership Down.

Efficiency Price Watching: The artists and designers below Vazquez’s path actually have a definite imaginative and prescient – each shot is well-considered and clever to the attention. 

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Memorable Dialogue: Ironstroke argues with the Father about permitting the troopers to let free a bit of bit and get excessive on caterpillar gloop: “These troopers are f—ed up! Have a look at them! God can again off tonight!”

Intercourse and Pores and skin: Full-frontal teddy bear dong and berries. 

Our Take: OK, so the lovable/grotesque juxtaposition is the important thing aesthetic in Unicorn Wars, and Vazquez finds some compelling dichotomies right here: Effeminate male bears marching into the vile masculinity of battle; the less-cute bear, Tubby, sports activities an empathetic streak his extra engaging friends lack; though the unicorns are virtually actually the ethical superiors right here, we spend considerably extra time with the bears and their galaxy-brained melange of blind dogma and superstitious drivel. Add within the widdle wuzzle-nuzzles committing unspeakable atrocities, and what you’ve received is… miserable. Simply miserable.

But it surely’s additionally admirably artistic and subversive, Vazquez crafting arcs for Bluey and Tubby with such bleak comedy, we don’t know whether or not to snigger or recoil. The movie has medication and gore and cruelty and deranged characters, and delights in sullying the cuteness with horror, as if reveling within the outdated Battle Membership urge to “destroy one thing stunning.” We’ll actually draw parallels between the bears’ harmful society and our personal, however subtextually, it’s unfocused, emphasizing the shock of its aesthetic over any social or political statements concerning the domination of the surroundings, or the violent and self-destructive tendencies of beings who contemplate themselves superior to all others. (Vazquez’s introduction of the existential sludge monster and “simians” within the woods solely muddies the potential allegory.) The underside line is provocative, although: The teddy bears suppose, due to this fact they’re, and so they do what they do as a result of their god informed them to. So possibly they need to suppose for themselves?

Our Name: Unicorn Wars is one hell of a provocative fable, a weirdly compelling, visually interesting bummer rife with stressed artistry and surreal insanity. You possibly can’t assist however admire it regardless of its flaws. STREAM IT, but it surely ain’t for everybody.

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John Serba is a contract author and movie critic primarily based in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

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Movie Reviews

Kishkindha Kaandam Movie Review

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Kishkindha Kaandam Movie Review

The Malayalam film Kishkindha Kaandam, directed by Dinjith Ayyathan, hit theaters on September 12, 2024, and quickly became a box office success, earning over ₹70 crore on a modest ₹7 crore budget. With a stellar cast including Asif Ali, Aparna Balamurali, and Vijayaraghavan, this movie has now begun streaming on OTT platform Disney plus Hotstar. Let’s dive into the Kishkindha Kaandam Movie Review to see what makes it stand out.

Plot Overview
Set in a village bordering a forest, the story revolves around Appu Pillai (Vijayaraghavan), a retired army officer living with his son Ajay Chandra (Asif Ali), daughter-in-law Praveena (Vaishnavi Raj), and grandson Chachu (Aarav). Tragedy strikes when Praveena passes away, and Chachu mysteriously disappears.

While the investigation into Chachu’s disappearance forms a crucial part of the narrative, the police station instructs Appu to surrender his licensed gun due to the upcoming elections. However, the gun has been missing for a long time, complicating matters further. The police warn that even a single missing bullet could lead to serious consequences.

As Ajay remarries Aparna (Aparna Balamurali), she moves into the family home and learns that Appu suffers from memory loss. Aparna grows suspicious of Appu’s behavior, particularly his reluctance to let anyone enter his room and his habit of burning items in a secluded area. Her investigation into Chachu’s disappearance and the missing gun forms the crux of the film.

Analysis
Kishkindha Kaandam revolves around three key characters: the father, the son, and the daughter-in-law. Aparna’s desire to find Chachu and bring happiness back to her family drives the first half of the movie. As she uncovers clues linking Appu to Chachu’s disappearance and the missing gun, the tension escalates in the second half.

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The narrative cleverly intertwines memory loss, a missing gun, and a child’s disappearance, keeping the audience guessing until the very end. The film’s strength lies in its minimalist approach, focusing on a small cast and localized settings. The title, Kishkindha Kaandam, reflects the village’s unique connection to monkeys, adding a symbolic layer to the plot.

Director Dinjith Ayyathan skillfully maintains suspense without relying on exaggerated drama, keeping the story grounded in realism. This approach makes the twists and turns feel natural and engaging.

Performances
Vijayaraghavan delivers a standout performance as the enigmatic and suspicious Appu Pillai. His portrayal of a man struggling with memory loss while harboring secrets is both compelling and nuanced. Asif Ali shines as Ajay, caught between family responsibilities and professional duties. Aparna Balamurali impresses with her natural acting, convincingly portraying a new bride navigating the complexities of her new family while trying to uncover the truth.

Technical Aspects
Cinematography: Ramesh’s visuals beautifully capture the lush, forested village, enhancing the story’s atmosphere.
Music: Mujeeb Majeed’s haunting background score elevates the suspense.
Editing: Suraj’s crisp editing ensures a tight narrative, particularly in the second half.
Malayalam cinema continues its tradition of seamlessly integrating stories with authentic locations, making the events on screen feel believable and immersive.

Verdict
Kishkindha Kaandam is a captivating mystery thriller with strong performances, a well-crafted screenplay, and stunning visuals. It’s a testament to the power of storytelling and naturalistic filmmaking. This is a movie that can be enjoyed with the whole family.

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‘Stella Stevens: The Last Starlet’ Review: A Loving, Insightful Documentary Tribute to an Underrated Actress

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‘Stella Stevens: The Last Starlet’ Review: A Loving, Insightful Documentary Tribute to an Underrated Actress

Andrew Stevens pays loving but not hagiographic tribute to his late mother, famed actress Stella Stevens, in his documentary recently showcased at the Fort Lauderdale International Film Festival. The film convincingly makes the case that its subject, best known for her performances in such pictures as The Poseidon Adventure and The Nutty Professor, is severely underrated, both as an actress and social activist. Stella Stevens: The Last Starlet aims to rectify that perception and, thanks to numerous clips of her work and effusive commentary by the likes of Quentin Tarantino and Vivica A. Fox, it succeeds beautifully.

The filmmaker (who appears frequently) admits that his relationship with his mother was rocky, to say the least, in the early years. Born in Yazoo City, Mississippi, Stevens got married at age 16 and had Andrew, her first and only child, six months later. The marriage soon dissolved, and when she moved to Hollywood to pursue an acting career, she took Andrew to California with her illegally. His father and grandfather later showed up and spirited him away, resulting in an ugly custody battle and Andrew not having a real relationship with his mother until he turned 16.

Stella Stevens: The Last Starlet

The Bottom Line

A well-deserved and long overdue cinematic portrait.

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Venue: Fort Lauderdale International Film Festival (American Indie)
Director-screenwriter: Andrew Stevens

1 hour 39 minutes

Stevens was soon signed to 20th Century Fox, where she was groomed to be a starlet in the mold of Marilyn Monroe and Mamie Van Doren. Her sexpot image was further confirmed when she appeared as a Playboy centerfold, though she had desperately tried to purchase the nude images back from Hugh Hefner, who refused.

Her career quickly took off thanks to such films as Li’l Abner, in which she played the wonderfully named “Appasionata Von Climax,” and the musical Say One for Me with Bing Crosby, for which she received a Golden Globe award for New Star of the Year.

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“Some of the most fun parts I’ve played are nymphomaniacs,” Stevens amusingly points out in one of many interviews featured here. Some of them are shown via archival clips from various talk show appearances, while others are recreated using a lookalike actress (Lindsie Kongsore). While the device is jarring at first, it admittedly breathes life into Stevens’ words. But the filmmaker gets too carried away with it at times, as when he unnecessarily uses an actor to play a film critic reading an excerpt from a review.

There are plenty of juicy anecdotes and revelations in the documentary, one of the most priceless being Stevens’ account of co-star Bobby Darin getting a much noticeable erection while they shot a kissing scene. She also reveals that she had no desire to appear with Elvis Presley in Girls! Girls! Girls! and only agreed to do it after she was promised that she would get to play opposite Montgomery Clift in her next film. The Clift project never materialized, and she could never bring herself to watch the Presley one.

We learn of her many romances, including an affair with the notorious and very much married Hollywood fixer Sidney Korshak and a lengthy relationship with actor Skip Ward, who took financial advantage of her and was frequently unfaithful.

The documentary makes a strong case for Stevens’ talent — particularly her formidable comic chops, as illustrated in numerous clips of her work, including from an episode of Bonanza for which she won acclaim. She held her own opposite Jerry Lewis in The Nutty Professor and sparkled in the old-fashioned comedy How to Save a Marriage and Ruin Your Life opposite Dean Martin, with whom she had previously appeared in the Matt Helm spy spoof The Silencers. She received critical acclaim for her exuberant turn in Sam Peckinpah’s 1970 The Ballad of Cable Hogue, though the film was a flop. When she did appear in hits, such as the hugely popular disaster pic The Poseidon Adventure, it didn’t give her career much traction.  

She later became an iconic figure for Black audiences, thanks to her groundbreaking interracial love scene with Jim Brown in the blaxploitation hit Slaughter and her campy villainous turn in Cleopatra Jones and the Casino of Gold. But what she really wanted to do, as they say, was direct. She finally got her chance in 1989 with an indie feature called The Ranch, starring her son Andrew (he later returned the favor, directing her in the 1991 B-movie The Terror Within II), and a feminist-themed documentary, The American Heroine, which was never released.

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Besides the ample clips from her roles and television appearances, the documentary includes fascinating home movies, personal photographs, and insightful commentary from various figures including film historians Leonard Maltin and Courtney Joyner. But it’s Tarantino who unsurprisingly proves the highlight, articulately gushing about Stevens’ performances with the passion of a true fan. (Introducing The Last Starlet at the festival, Andrew admitted that he basically handed the ball to Tarantino and let him run with it.)

While Stevens’ big-screen career eventually fizzled, she never stopped working, appearing in dozens of direct-to-video movies and TV series until her final appearance in something called Megaconda in 2010. “If the idea of being an actress is to work, she worked. She worked a lot,” Tarantino points out.

Her final days were sad ones, as she slowly succumbed to Alzheimer’s disease until her death at 84 in 2023. Much to the consternation of her son and her many fans, she was not included in the Academy Awards’ annual “In Memoriam” segment and never received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. The latter is a rebuff that should be corrected — especially if Stella Stevens: The Last Starlet gets the exposure it deserves.

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A Real Pain Movie Review – InBetweenDrafts

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A Real Pain Movie Review – InBetweenDrafts

Jesse Eisenberg delivers a story tethered to the human condition of longing for something “else” or “more” in the triumphant A Real Pain. Directed, written, and starring Eisenberg, the film perfectly balances dry humor and understated, character-driven drama. At a well-paced 90 minutes, the story never overstays its welcome. Instead, the story succeeds because, despite its brevity, it streamlines a beautifully executed narrative that needs no more or less than what it’s being given. 

A Real Pain follows David (Eisenberg) and Benji (Kieran Culkin), two cousins who could be mistaken for brothers for how closely they grew up together. However, despite being born mere weeks apart, they’re polar opposites. Despite this, they share an often exasperated fondness for one another—with David, in particular, keeping a watchful eye out for Benji. In order to honor their late grandmother, the two embark on a tour of Poland to explore their family history while paying their respects at their grandmother’s childhood home. 

There’s a simplistic, linear structure to the film that could easily be mistaken as dull. But the rapid-fire dialogue and meditations on life and losses embolden the otherwise straightforward story with unexpected vigor. Eisenberg and cinematographer Michał Dymek shoot everything from the bustling airport to the Polish countryside with grace as we move forward along with these characters. 

However, while the direction is confident and observational, especially when highlighting the magnitude of emotions Culkin’s face bears while still withholding, the writing pulls it all together. The script is simply remarkable in its conscious depiction of vulnerability that’s almost too raw to watch. Eisenberg’s script feels personal, even if it’s fictional, and it’s best seen in the relationship between Benji and David. 

Despite his constant proclamations of how much he loves his cousin, how close they are, and how integral David is in his life, Benji is quick to punch down and belittle. He tells David that no one likes to walk alone when talking about another traveler, yet leaves him in the dust to speak with her instead. He calls out his insecurities in public while telling him that he has no problem with his cousin’s shortcomings. Eisenberg captures the grind of it, shoulders hunching further and further as he either apologizes for Benji’s behavior or watches in amazement as Benji somehow pulls off being a brazen ass with little consequence. 

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And that’s because as impulsive and self-righteous Benji is, so many of his tirades have just enough truth to make them justifiable. Even while so many of us would shrink away from the kind of conflict he so vigorously chases, we can’t deny that he comes from a place of honesty. It’s the critical difference between Benji and David. David believes there’s a time and place to express pain and grief. Benji unleashes it all like a tidal wave. 

A Real Pain
Photo Courtesy of Searchlight Pictures, © 2024 Searchlight Pictures All Rights Reserved.

It’s what makes the centerpiece moment of the film, a taut and revealing dinner, all the more poignant. While it seems like David is getting his moment to unload and overshare, as Benji might, with no repercussions, the dynamics of the group tour remain unchanged. It’s a brilliantl sequence that shoulders the weight of the tension into a precarious position. We understand why Benji draws people in. And, aided by Culkin’s tumultuous performance, we feel for him and the hurdles he’s grappling with. But it’s hard not to feel how David wilts in his presence viscerally.

There’s just such honesty when David tells others or even Benji himself about the envy he harbors. It’s a profoundly relatable phenomenon. The ability to adore someone and yet be jealous of what you perceive they have that you don’t. In my pettiest, ugliest moments, I long to be prettier. I want to be thinner and have a life that affords me more time, money, and energy to achieve a desired weight. Sometimes, I wish to be more naturally funny and intellectual. I long for all of these elements that don’t matter in the grand scheme of things because we’re all largely longing for something that would make us, in our own mind’s eye, better than the sum of our parts. It’s so frustratingly human for us to do so. 

A Real Pain captures that bruising frustration. The film is still wickedly funny, with Culkin’s wry and motormouth delivery landing some searing punches. But any longevity the film has is due to the script, which is far more revealing and prickly than trailers might suggest. Introspective yet light on its feet, it speaks to any of us who’ve ever struggled to find our footing in a dynamic. To call the relationship between Benji and David toxic would dismiss the writing. Instead, it showcases the messiness of what comes when we grow up along someone only for our paths to minutely diverge over time until what we miss isn’t what have in the present but who we had in the past. 

Aided by two dynamic central performances, A Real Pain is a vibrant character study. With cutting humor and well-paced introspection, the film allows grief room to breathe without any easy answers. Love and mourning are messy, and Eisenberg’s script honors this. 

A Real Pain is out now in theaters. 

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Images courtesy of Searchlight Pictures.

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