Movie Reviews
Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Under Paris’ on Netflix, a shark-in-the-Seine thriller that delivers the ludicrousness you crave

Thanks to Shark Week and Sharknado, it doesn’t take much to get a goofy-ass shark movie greenlit these days – hence Under Paris (now on Netflix), whose pitch line was likely, “What if a giant shark cruised up the Seine – days before a triathlon?” If you’re worried that this is just another purposely-bad-CG Syfy original, allay those concerns, because veteran director Xavier Gens (you should see his deranged debut, Frontier(s)) is on the job, with Berenice Bejo (an Oscar nominee for The Artist) in the lead. But having some recognizable names involved doesn’t mean the movie can’t be at least a little bit ridiculous, as I found out. (Note: The film is the subject of a copyright lawsuit that may see it get pulled from Netflix, so if you’re all in on seeing it, you might want to get to it soon.)
UNDER PARIS: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?
The Gist: We open with one of those hilarious overly detailed subtitles: NORTH PACIFIC. MISSION OCEAN ORIGINS. PROJECT “EVOLUTIONS.” A BUNCH OF LONGITUDE AND LATITUDE GIBBERISH. This is very important detail! Why? Because knowing the longitude and latitude to 25 digits is crucial to understanding that this scene is playing out in the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, duh! We’re on a boat with some shark people who tag sharks and track sharks and study sharks and aren’t at all afraid of sharks – BUT THEY SHOULD BE. I’d name them but, as you’re no doubt delighted to learn, some of them don’t last very long, because what is a shark movie without someone’s chomped-off arm floating through the water? Sophia (Bejo) barely survives an encounter with a toothy sweetie named Lilith that she’s been following for a while – a toothy sweetie who’s tripled in size in an astonishingly short amount of time, and has become terribly aggressive. So it goes.
THREE YEARS LATER, BUT WE DON’T NEED LONGITUDE AND LATITUDE BECAUSE WE’RE IN PARIS NOW. Sophia works at the aquarium, conducting informational tours for nasty little school shits who tease her about how her former research team became chum. She meets a couple of young women, Mika (Lea Leviant) and Caro (Sandra Parfait), who have a super badass underground lair full of computers and a big projector and screen that they use to track sharks because they love sharks and want to protect sharks. Don’t ask how they afford all this. They’ve spotted a shark in the Seine River, and it’s not just any shark, it’s Lilith, her tracker still intact, and all of Sophia’s trauma comes flooding back. Now, we shouldn’t ask why the very same shark that nearly ate Sophia is now essentially ringing her doorbell pretending to be delivering a candygram, but I’m going to ask it anyway, and make the very reasonable assumption that it’s not a coincidence, but rather a Jaws: The Revenge development where the shark knows where she lives and wants to finish the job. Who says sharks don’t deserve a little closure too?
Sophia gets the river cops involved, led by Adil (Nassim Lyes), who doesn’t believe her assertion that there’s a giant shark in his river, because that has to be a big raging pile of bull roar, right? It takes some cheesy jump scares and some chomping on his fellow cops to convince him that it’s not, though. They go to the mayor (Anne Marivin), a very aggressive eater of lunch who just doesn’t want to hear any of this because she just spent like a billion dollars on PR and logistics for a triathlon that’s a trial run for the Olympics, so get the hell out of her office with this shark nonsense, please, prompting all of us to put her at the top of the list of people who need to get chomped. Wait, did I just type “triathlon”? As in “hundreds of swimmers splashing around like bait”? I did. Oh hell. Will Sophie and Adil save them or WILL THE SEINE FLOW WITH BLOOD? God, I hope it’s the latter.
What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: With zero apologies whatsoever to The Meg, Under Paris is the best shark movie since please-don’t-eat-Blake-Lively thriller The Shallows. And yes, I know that’s not saying much.
Performance Worth Watching: With all due respect to a vet like Bejo, who very ably sells some of this silliness, we’re not here to see her. No, we’re here to see how fake the CGI shark looks.
Memorable Dialogue: Sophia explains away all the plot holes about little sharky-poo’s unusual behavior: “Lilith is the first of a new species.”
Sex and Skin: No time for love when you’re trying not to get apex-predatored.
Our Take: But, I can hear you asking, does all this pay off? Yeah, sort of. The action and drama ramps up for a third act that hits ludicrous speed – it really goes plaid – in a pair of sequences that are a bit hacked-up in the editing room, but deliver some reasonably satisfying carnage, and can be pretty merciless when it comes to the fates of key characters. The film courts ingenuity by setting scenes in the flooded underground catacombs of Paris, which is a way of setting shark-slaughter in an ancient crypt without contorting reality too egregiously. You won’t be surprised to learn that our heroes concoct a Plan So Crazy It Might Just Work, even though it’s kind of confusing and murkily executed when it comes down to showing us what exactly is going on.
But this also means we don’t get any real laughs out of Under Paris for more than an hour – which may lead you to believe that the movie might be “about” something, like evolution or climate change or (sigh) trauma. Don’t bite on those red herrings though. Gens clamps down on the tone and keeps things fairly serious — he sidesteps campiness for the most part, which is no easy feat — until the jackass mayor turns up as the villain who consciously doesn’t give a rip about human life, unlike the shark, who’s just doing as her instincts dictate: Being entertaining in a dumbass movie. Isn’t that what sharks were put on this planet to do?
Our Call: We don’t go into a shark thriller with high expectations, so Under Paris being merely good enough is plenty to warrant a recommendation. STREAM IT.
John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Movie Reviews
Movie Review: To be Pretty, Young and Italian, Figuring It Out at “Diciannove”


Giovanni Tortorici’s “Diciannove” is a dreamy, drifting odyssey into a time in youth when one discovers the meaning of “the world’s your oyster.”
It’s about a young Italian with choices at an age when you know it all and you know nothing and you follow your impusles, figuring everything out on the way — 19.
That’s what the movie’s title means, and that’s the year we float through with our middle class Italian anti-hero, Leonardo (Manfred Marini). He will wander from Palermo to London, Siena to Turin, changing majors and colleges, getting pass-out drunk with friends and family, debating professors and reading 14th century Italian writers.
He will start writing himself, experiment with solitude and sexuality and ponder suicide and perhaps becoming a rent boy to make ends meet.
Yeah. “Nineteen.”
We meet him as his mother is the first to label him a disorganized, doesn’t-sweat-details “moron,” on his way to join his sister (Vittoria Planeta) in her shared apartment in London. A few days of drunken clubbing, getting chewed-out for not helping around the house, eating others’ food and the like and that London university degree in “business” goes out the window like the dream it was.
He applies online to a university in Siena, sets off to study literature, buys books and fails to avoid coming off as a standoffish loner.
“I want to commit suicide,” he writes and recites (in Italian with English subtitles). “I want to kill myself…I want to die…I want to croak…Snuff it…Pass away.”
Writers and their “mantras.”
Of course, it’s all a phase as this poster child for the arrogance of bourgeois youth takes exams without attending lectures, composes a jeremiad against his professor, but chickens out of distributing it, begs mom for money and gets chewed out by his dad as he walks the streets of the old city, buying books and thinking and just generally “figuring it out.”
It’s a mesmerizing movie, in its way, a chronological stream-of-consciousness dissection of a very specific “type” — Western, indulged, pretty enough to attract attention, careless with how he uses it, too removed from his contemporaries to care or commit.
Semi-autobiographical or not, our writer-director has picked his target and hit it in delivering a portrait of youth that tries everything before settling on one thing to make the “fanatical” focus of one’s life. Realizing “We’re not as interesting as we think we are at 19” is just a bonus.

Rating: unrated, nudity, sexual situations, teen alcohol abuse, smoking
Cast: Manfredi Marini, Vittoria Planeta, Luca Lazzareschi and
Zackari Delmas
Cfedits: Scripted and directed by Giovanni Tortorici. An Oscilloscope Labs release.
Running time: 1:48
Movie Reviews
The Unholy Trinity (2025) – Movie Review

The Unholy Trinity, 2025.
Directed by Richard Gray.
Starring Pierce Brosnan, Samuel L. Jackson, Brandon Lessard, Veronica Ferres, Gianni Capaldi, Q’orianka Kilcher, Tim Daly, Ethan Peck, Katrina Bowden, David Arquette, Anthony J. Sharpe, Beau Linnell, Isabella Ruby, Eadie Gray, Stephanie Hernandez, Dylan Brosnan, Paris Brosnan, Stu Brumbaugh, Tina Buckingham, Nick Farnell, Chuck Mathews, Scott McCauley, and Tim Montana.
SYNOPSIS:
Buried secrets of an 1870s Montana town spark violence when a young man returns to reclaim his legacy and is caught between a sheriff determined to maintain order and a mysterious stranger hell-bent on destroying it.
With a title like The Unholy Trinity, one might be led to believe that director Richard Gray (and screenwriter Lee Zachariah) would have a significant degree of characterization of the individuals within that triangle. Instead, it more or less coasts on nabbing some recognizable faces in Pierce Brosnan and Samuel L. Jackson to appear in it, while serving as a muddled, bland search for gold, which is really a search for a particular home that is believed to have it buried under.
Young Henry Broadway’s (Brandon Lessard) father built the home. It also turns out that he has constructed numerous buildings within this small Montana town, making the search more difficult for Samuel L. Jackson’s St. Christopher, a man with a history of interaction with him, as evident from his casual smile while watching his execution. Moments before, Henry’s father proclaims his innocence and urges his son to enact vengeance by killing the sheriff who supposedly framed him. The wrinkle in that plan is that the sheriff is already dead, leaving Henry unsure of what to do next as he befriends the new sheriff, a soft-spoken and weary Gabriel Dove (Pierce Brosnan).
That’s a whole lot of convoluted storytelling for a film that’s about buried treasure, and that’s without getting into pasts revealed through exposition and other plot elements including Gabriel’s secret alliance with indigenous Running Cub (Q’orianka Kilcher), whom an angry mob led by Gideon (Gianni Capaldi) has accused of wrongdoing and wants to kill. This is also meant to be somewhat of a coming-of-age story for Henry, who stumbles into his first sexual encounter in a brothel and then wonders if God is punishing him for doing so when a shootout arises.
Speaking of that, The Unholy Trinity is a bit of a disjointed narrative mess that occasionally erupts into serviceable action, even if there is no reason to invest in any of this. It’s a boilerplate Western that only comes alive when Samuel L. Jackson is sayinb “screw it”, putting on an anachronistic, charismatic performance, seemingly aware that this material is generic and needlessly complicated. Pierce Brosnan also brings some class to the proceedings as a dignified sheriff trying to ward off trigger-finger heavy mobs and do right by those deserving.
Perhaps the most glaring fault is that Brendan Lessard is a blank slate as Henry, uninteresting and dragging everything down around him. Whether it’s his quest for vengeance or being placed into a predicament between St. Christopher and Gabriel regarding the gold, Henry is a boring character, difficult to muster up any enthusiasm for, and get behind. If anything, once more is revealed about St. Christopher, he’s the one worth rooting for, although it’s unclear if that’s actually what the filmmakers intended. The Unholy Trinity is a cut above the usual cheap garbage that typically comes from this primarily straight-to-VOD genre nowadays, but that’s far from gold.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ ★ / Movie: ★ ★
Robert Kojder is a member of the Chicago Film Critics Association, Critics Choice Association, and Online Film Critics Society. He is also the Flickering Myth Reviews Editor. Check here for new reviews and follow my BlueSky or Letterboxd
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=embed/playlist
Movie Reviews
‘Surviving Ohio State’ Review: HBO’s Sexual Abuse Doc Is Thorough and Persuasive, but Lacks a New Smoking Gun

The latest entry in a genre one wishes weren’t so burgeoning is HBO‘s Surviving Ohio State, following in the sadly necessary footsteps of documentaries about sexual abuse in the athletic departments at Michigan State (Athlete A and At the Heart of Gold) and Penn State (Happy Valley).
When Surviving Ohio State was announced, anticipation hinged on the participation of producer George Clooney and the possibility that exploring the abuses of Dr. Richard Strauss and alleged negligence by authority figures at Ohio State might topple Jim Jordan, Ohio Congressman and Trump lapdog.
Surviving Ohio State
The Bottom Line
Better as a story of survival than an exposé on institutional failings.
Venue: Tribeca Film Festival (Spotlight Documentary)
Airdate: June 17 (HBO)
Director: Eva Orner
1 hour and 48 minutes
If your interest in Surviving Ohio State revolves entirely around Jim Jordan-related schadenfreude, you can probably skip it. Jordan, who refused to participate in the documentary for self-evident reasons, comes across as heartless and negligent, but the doc lacks any sort of smoking gun likely to dissuade his dedicated constituents, who have known about all of these allegations for each of the last three times they’ve voted for him.
Jordan, unfortunately, also proves to be a distraction to the filmmakers, especially in the documentary’s second half. Caught up in the they-said/he-said-in-previous-statements disagreements, director Eva Orner largely fails to explore the institutional side of the scandal. I shouldn’t come away from a documentary like this fixated on the name of a single assistant wrestling coach (one who was not and has not been accused of anything criminal) and completely unable to name the Ohio State president, athletic director and key administrators under whose watch these abuses occurred.
For the first half of its 108-minute running time, Surviving Ohio State is, as its title suggests, a compelling examination of the survivors of abuse and the mechanisms through which large-scale abuse can occur at a major university.
Per a 2019 independent investigation, from 1978 to 1998 Dr. Richard Strauss abused at least 177 male students at Ohio State. Strauss had particularly close ties to a number of Buckeyes sports programs, including fencing, hockey and the wrestling team, coached by Russ Hellickson, with two-time NCAA champ Jordan as his primary assistant. The accusations from athletes involved Strauss’ inappropriate examinations, his tendency to take regular, extended showers in several athletic locker rooms, and grooming behavior escalating ultimately into rape. For some of that time, Strauss worked at the Student Health Center and thus had access to the entire student body, and although he was relieved of certain of those duties after complaints, he retired from Ohio State entirely on his own terms.
A group of wrestlers from the mid-90s are Orner’s primary points of entry, and this group of survivors proves crucial to both the strongest aspects of the documentary and the distraction that leaves it less effective than it could be.
At least a half dozen of those wrestlers tell their stories to the camera, accompanied by filler re-enactments — a shower head spurting water, the hallway leading to a medical examination room — that add very little. The stories themselves are candid and graphic, the haunted men today contrasted with vintage footage of wrestling matches and the various athletes in their high-achieving youth.
Well aware of skepticism from online trolls who have wondered how veterans of a combat sport could allow this sort of “victimization,” the men talk about the surprise and shame that led them not to respond in the moment and to remain silent about the incidents for decades. It’s the film’s way of setting up the psychology of male survivors and, perhaps more than that, of explaining why the OSU scandal hasn’t received the instant attention and sympathy that greeted revelations from generations of female gymnasts about Michigan State and United States national team doctor Larry Nassar.
The truth is that Jordan’s involvement has contributed to what visibility the Ohio State situation has had. All of the wrestlers present in this documentary have made it clear that Strauss’ behavior wasn’t a secret, and that the coaches all knew about the inappropriate showers and concerns about the examinations, taking little action in Hellickson’s case and no action in Jordan’s case. Jordan has belligerently and vehemently denied that he knew anything at all, which makes him at best an oblivious caretaker of young men.
The wrestlers, plus at least one referee with a story of his own, are completely persuasive, and Orner is able to give a sense of pervasive rumors about Strauss’ creepiness. But that’s been the story since these allegations against Strauss came out back in 2018 — and other than one small, thoroughly speculative detail about Jordan’s actions well after the scandal broke, no new information is provided and no dots connected regarding Jordan or Hellickson or anything else.
The frustration of Surviving Ohio State is how fixated it becomes on Hellickson and Jordan and unnamed figures at the university — Hellickson and the board of trustees, like Jordan, declined to provide any response — without that smoking gun or that key piece of dot-connecting.
Given how potent the survivor interviews are and how negligible the details are on the systemic failures, Surviving Ohio State would have been better with more focus on the former and less unsubstantiated insinuation — however persuasive — about the latter.
The documentary is extremely effective at giving voice to those survivors and providing context and understanding for their silence — and that’s extremely important, especially alongside those documentaries about what happened at Penn State and Michigan State. It may not be as sensational and buzzy as bringing down a major university or a sitting congressman, but since Surviving Ohio State won’t do either thing, it’s worth praising the potency of what it does well.
-
West6 days ago
Battle over Space Command HQ location heats up as lawmakers press new Air Force secretary
-
Alaska1 week ago
Interior Plans to Rescind Drilling Ban in Alaska’s National Petroleum Reserve
-
World1 week ago
Two suspected Ugandan rebels killed in Kampala explosion
-
Politics1 week ago
Red state tops annual Heritage Foundation scorecard for strongest election integrity: 'Hard to cheat'
-
Technology7 days ago
iFixit says the Switch 2 is even harder to repair than the original
-
News1 week ago
Stabilizing 'operations,' the National Weather Service hires again after Trump cuts
-
Movie Reviews1 week ago
Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Sinners’ on VOD, Ryan Coogler's ambitious vampire epic set in the segregated South of the 1930s
-
World1 week ago
EU-Ukraine trade reset: What comes after tariff-free access expires?