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Movie Review: 'Transformers One,' an origin story no one wants with brutality levels no one needs

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Movie Review: 'Transformers One,' an origin story no one wants with brutality levels no one needs

Movie origin stories finally reach their nadir this week with “Transformers One,” the super-violent, toy-selling vehicle that tells the tale of how Optimus Prime and Megatron went from besties to foes. Did anyone ask for this? Did Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner ask for too much money?

The computer-animated “Transformers One” is out of time, a throwback to a few years ago when Hollywood mined popular IP for forgotten heroes, built overly complex worlds and then ramped up the action so that the audience just got numbed to a blur of battles. But “Transformers One” isn’t good enough to watch on a plane, even a trans-Pacific flight. The inflight map is better.

A map isn’t a bad idea, actually: You may need some sort of guide for this one — those uninitiated to the folklore of Cybertron are flung helplessly into references to Energon, Alpha Trion, Quintessons and something called the Matrix of Leadership. You come in halfway into a conversation.

Orion Pax/Optimus Prime, voiced by Chris Hemsworth, in a scene from “Transformers One.” (Paramount Pictures via AP)
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D-16/Megatron, voiced by Brian Tyree Henry, in a scene from “Transformers One.” (Paramount Pictures via AP)

The story by Andrew Barrer and Gabriel Ferrari is basically the Bible’s Cain and Abel with a detour into the Roman Empire and the Hasbro figurines’ accumulated mythology, which seems to be a series of never-ending epic battles between good and evil. Some stuff just seems downright weird, like why these robots need a gym or why after running they become breathless.

The main heroes here are buddies Orion Pax and D-16 — who will become mortal enemies Optimus Prime and Megatron by the end — and we meet them when they are lowly miners, basically non-transforming bots digging for reserves of the energy cleverly called Energon. This is a society in which the upper class is made up of Transformers who stomp around preening while the lower classes do dirty jobs like comb through garbage.

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They all serve Sentinel Prime, the leader of the subterranean Iacon City, who is not what he seems. He is apparently the last of the Primes and lives in a marble palace, giving the people below spectacles as a diversion, like an epic road race. It gives off ancient Roman Coliseum vibes.

Orion Pax (voiced with puppy-dog sweetness by Chris Hemsworth) is not satisfied by this life. “There’s got to be something more I can do,” he says. “Aren’t you tired of being treated like you’re nothing?” Brian Tyree Henry voices D-16 with skepticism and resignation.

The two friends join with mining manager Elita-1 (Scarlett Johansson, bland) and Keegan-Michael Key’s B-127 (who will later become fan favorite Bumblebee) to journey to the surface of the planet, find the Matrix of Leadership (a sort of necklace that might have been sold in the Sharper Image catalog) and get a hero’s welcome. But they learn some unsavory things about the ruler from the Transformer elder statesman Alpha Trion (the instantly recognizable Laurence Fishburne).

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Elita-1, voiced by Scarlett Johansson, in a scene from “Transformers One.” (Paramount Pictures via AP)

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Director Josh Cooley, who co-wrote the screenplay for “Inside Out” and helmed “Toy Story 4,” never lets the action stop — and that’s not a compliment. The camera is constantly swiveling and the violence — assault-weapon lasers, booming cannons, light torture, martial arts crunching moves, beating a rival with their own amputated limb and ceaseless pounding — is nauseating. (“Please stop punching me in the face” is a joke line here.) If Transformers ever bled, this would be an R-rated movie.

The hyper-violence papers over some pretty robotic — sorry! — dialogue. Why do all these movies show the Transformers with cool upgrades like laser knives but they remain speaking in stilted, operatic prose? “I want him to suffer and die in darkness,” “They are to be your undoing” and “Cybertron’s future is in your hands.”

There are some good moments, of course. When our band of misfit bots get an upgrade to Transformer status, they cutely don’t know how to do it seamlessly at first, with limbs awkwardly getting mixed with vehicle parts. Anyone who has played with the toys knows the feeling. And Key never fails to generate a chuckle, proving a masterful comedic voice actor.

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B-127, voiced by Keegan-Michael Key, in a scene from “Transformers One.” (Paramount Pictures via AP)

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The other actors — Jon Hamm and Steve Buscemi, included — hardly register and the movie’s main song — “If I Fall” by Quavo, Ty Dolla $ign and Brian Tyler’s Are We Dreaming — feels like AI wrote both the uninteresting rap-rock beat and soupy lyrics (“I’m the alpha, omega, got lights on me, Vegas.” Vegas?)

The saddest thing about “Transformers One” is the wastefulness of another dull outing in a universe geared toward kids just learning to transform themselves. The lessons here, unfortunately, are that friends can become enemies overnight and you only win if you beat someone hard enough. “We’re better than this,” Orion Pax screams at his sudden rival at one point. No, they’re not.

“Transformers One,” a Paramount release that lands in theaters Friday, is rated PG for “sci-fi violence and animated action throughout, and language.” Running time: 103 minutes. Half a star out of four.

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Film Review: 'The Substance' Has Career Best Work From Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley in a Body Horror Epic Like You've Never Seen Before – Awards Radar

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Film Review: 'The Substance' Has Career Best Work From Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley in a Body Horror Epic Like You've Never Seen Before – Awards Radar
Mubi

It has become a cliche to say that a horror film is extreme or unlike anything you’ve ever seen. Too often, the degree to which something is gory or out there is exaggerated, resulting in some level of audience disappointment. Well, I’m here to tell you that The Substance warrants those kinds of brash comments. A body horror satire with terrific performances, it’s as out there as it gets. No matter what you’ve heard, you’re not read for this flick, and I mean that as a major compliment, too.

The Substance goes hard. It does so in service of a metaphor that wouldn’t jive with subtlety, that’s for sure. Women in Hollywood, the aging process, sexism, it’s all in here, done in a savagely satirical manner. Plus, again, this is a very graphic body horror epic, at nearly two and a half hours long. Is it going to be for everyone? No. Was it very much up my alley? You better believe it. This is one of the most darkly enjoyable experiences of the year.

Mubi

Elisabeth Sparkle (Demi Moore) used to be a star. An award-winning actress, Elisabeth was seen as a beauty queen and among the biggest celebrities in the world. Now, as she hits her 50th birthday, she’s the host of a popular aerobics show. It’s been successful, but clearly not fulfilling, though when her boss Harvey (Dennis Quaid) lets her go, in the hopes of finding a younger model, she’s devastated. After an accident, the fading celebrity is told about The Substance, a black-market drug which utilizes a cell-replicating agent that temporarily creates a younger, better version of you. Without much hesitation, she signs up and takes her first dose.

One gory transformation later and a younger version of herself emerges, literally from her body. Dubbed Sue (Margaret Qualley), she immediately auditions and gets the aerobics show. Containing all of Elisabeth’s youthful beauty and star power, she’s an instant icon. The only catch is, both bodies need an equal week out and about, with the other hidden away, naked and being fed through a tube. Failure to abide by that has consequences, which Sue finds out about one night. Thus begins a battle of bodies, with some incredible and shocking body horror to come. The fun is in the surprises, too, as you’ll never see the third act coming.

Mubi

Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley have never been better. They’re both emotionally and physically naked here, working in concert with each other. While they’re not identical, the way that they evoke each other is wonderful. Moore especially goes all-out in a de-glam type performance that will blow you away. The role calls for someone of her ilk and she absolutely knocks it out of the park. Watching Moore be this free and this bold is exhilarating. As for Qualley, it’s a whole new side of her, which I found very exciting. She’s leaning in to the elements that are preying upon Moore, making for a really interesting dichotomy. Dennis Quaid is having a lot of fun playing a monster of a studio executive. He’s evoking you know who and doing it in a way that brings out the right amount of cringe. Moore and Qualley are the stars, but in addition to Quaid, the supporting cast include Gore Abrams, Hugo Diego Garcia, Oscar Lesage, and a few others. Don’t get it twisted though, this is the Moore and Qualley show, plain and simple.

Filmmaker Coralie Fargeat writes and directs this picture fearlessly. No one else is making feminist body horror, so kudos to her for not just conceiving of the idea, but executing it so well. First and foremost, opting to cast separate actresses is not a welcome old-school move, but exactly what the film needed. The Substance would have missed its own point by not having someone like Moore and someone like Qualley sharing the role. CGI-ing either one of them simply would not have worked. Fargeat hammers the points home without a ton of subtlety, but that’s the point. This is how the world treats Elisabeth, of course. The script never forgets that, while Fargeat’s direction leans in. Plus, she has a wonderful handle on gore, going harder than you’ll ever expect. If you’re not covering your eyes at some point, she’s not doing her job.

Mubi

Fair warning, The Substance is graphic. Now, it’s a feature, not a bug, but this is going to be too much for some. There’s substantial nudity, which you eventually become numb to, but it’s also incredibly gory. Throw in a wild ending that utilizes some incredibly gnarly makeup (among other things) and this could prove tough for a more demure audience member. The feminist satire take on celebrity and body horror worked for me in a big way, but I’m also very fond of horror. Your mileage may vary.

To that end, this film will be an interesting test of Academy tastes. If this were a simple film about an aging actress, I do think Demi Moore would have a great chance at a Best Actress nomination. The thing is, Oscar doesn’t usually go for body horror. Now, the metaphor and satire on display may well resonate with voters more so than another movie of its ilk. Still, this seems like a big ask for them, though I’d love to see it happen.

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Mubi

The Substance is a rare mix of acting showcase and body horror. Unsurprisingly, I loved it. Moore and Qualley are phenomenal, Fargeat’s filmmaking is first-rate, and the surprises in the back half are just delightfully unhinged. I truly can’t wait for more people to see this one. It shocked folks just last week at the Toronto International Film Festival. Now, as it heads from TIFF to theaters, you all should check this one out. It’s not to be missed!

SCORE: ★★★1/2

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Once in a Blue Moon: bittersweet drama set in pandemic-era Hong Kong

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Once in a Blue Moon: bittersweet drama set in pandemic-era Hong Kong

3.5/5 stars

Working-class despair, relationship troubles and long-buried family secrets vie for attention in Once in a Blue Moon, writer-director Andy Lo Yiu-fai’s long-awaited follow-up to his exquisite 2016 film Happiness.

Depicting the prosaic concerns of two adult children in a single-parent family in Hong Kong during the Covid-19 pandemic, Lo’s bittersweet film is a character-driven drama that is heavy on feelings. It is thoughtful and endearing, and prefers minor developments to major dramatic conflict.

The film begins with an old photo as its protagonist, Mei-chen (Gladys Li Ching-kwan in her most complete performance yet), explains in a voice-over that it is the first and last time she was pictured in a family portrait alongside her father, who left the household before she turned one and never returned.

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【《望月》正式預告登場🌕】

All her life she has regretted not having had the opportunity to get to know her father, although she faces more immediate problems in the present.

Mei-chen, who is inexperienced in romance, has just started using a dating app at the urging of her happy-go-lucky cousin (Amy Tang Lai-ying), but her first date produces not a match but an awkward trip to a love motel, followed by plenty of unanswered texts and even more question marks in her head.

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Movie Reviews

‘K-Pops!’ Review: Anderson .Paak’s Delightful Directorial Debut Hits All the Right Notes

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‘K-Pops!’ Review: Anderson .Paak’s Delightful Directorial Debut Hits All the Right Notes

BJ (Anderson .Paak) is an LA-based karaoke bar drummer, passionate about making it big with his original music. On a particular evening in 2009, he encounters Yeji (Jee Young Han), a punk emo girl who struggles to find a committed man in the city. They fall in love after a duet and dinner date at a Korean restaurant. They break up after a while because of his lack of involvement with her. 12 years later, the very confident BJ is still working at the same place with no prospects. His boss Cash (Jonathan “Dumbfoundead” Park) connects him to a new gig in South Korea as his great aunt’s drummer for the show she hosts, an American Idol-like competition for the next teen K-Pop star. 

Cash tries to get BJ to meet Kang (Kevin Woo), the show’s heartthrob, and see if they can work together. While on the job, he’s rebuffed by Kang and winds up meeting one of the lowest projected contestants, Tae Young (Soul Rasheed, .Paak’s IRL son). When he sees Yeji for the first time in 12 years, he realizes that Tae Young is his biological son. In the wake of this discovery, BJ takes it upon himself to take Tae Young under his wing and teach him with his know-how about music outside K-Pop, putting the “Bla” in “Blasian”. With his skill, BJ makes every effort to turn Tae Young into a superstar.

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