Movie Reviews
Movie Review – Novocaine | KiowaCountyPress.net
“Novocaine” stars Jack Quaid as Nathan Caine, a man with a condition that makes him unable to feel pain. This is an action movie, and it sounds like a man who can’t feel pain would fit right into the role of action hero, right? Actually, no. Caine’s condition is just terribly inconvenient in his everyday life. He could get cut or burned without realizing it, and if the wound is left untreated, he could get an infection. He doesn’t have the instinct to keep his tongue away from his teeth, so he has to abstain from solid foods or else he could chomp right into his tongue. He can’t even feel the pangs associated with having to go to the bathroom, so he just goes every three hours whether he needs to or not.
Caine’s condition has led to social awkwardness, and although he’s nice to people, he has few real friends outside of unseen online gamer Roscoe (Jacob Batalon). But things change when he starts a relationship with fellow bank employee Sherry (Amber Midthunder), who has her own history with physical pain. They go on one date and Caine immediately knows he’s in love with her. He’s at a rare high point in his life at work the next day when a trio of robbers massacre that bank and take Sherry hostage as they flee. The sense of fear and potential loss is the worst feeling Caine has ever had in his life, and he’s going to rescue Sherry no matter what happens to his body in the process.
This means getting into a series of fights with the robbers (Evan Hengst, Conrad Kemp, and Ray Nicholson). He’s nowhere near as tough or skilled as they are, but he can use his condition to his advantage. He can get hit, but he can get back up. He can stall for time by taking a beating or enduring torture until help arrives. He can even use weapons that his enemies are too afraid to touch because they’re scalding hot or submerged in a deep fryer. By the way, is it weird that this movie makes me unusually inclined toward cannibalism with a scene where Caine makes his hand extra-crispy?
This movie can thank its lucky stars for Jack Quaid, whose sincerity and commitment to the character are the only interesting things about the movie. I was really looking forward to seeing Amber Midthunder again after she carried the “Predator” prequel “Prey” in 2022, but she’s disappointing in a predictable role here. Batalon is just playing a less interesting version of his “Spider-Man” sidekick character. Betty Gabriel has some heartfelt moments as a cop, but her character doesn’t have much impact on the story. Perhaps most disappointing is Ray Nicholson as the lead villain. He was so expressive and unnerving last year in “Smile 2,” but I didn’t get any of that from his bland performance here. I’d have let Conrad Kemp carry the load as primary antagonist, he has some scene-stealing qualities about his face.
Caine’s convoluted rescue mission reminded me of the convoluted plot of “Love Hurts” from last month, a movie that I decried while praising Quaid’s performance in “Companion” in the same article. Perhaps it’s appropriate that my opinion of “Novocaine” falls squarely between those two films. This movie could have been a lot more brainless, but I quibble with its predictable story (I guessed one twist just from the trailers), lame characters outside of the lead, and tonal inconsistency. The advertising makes this movie look a lot more comedic than it is. There are gags, to be sure, but there are also long stretches where the movie plays things unexpectedly straight. Not that actors like Quaid and Gabriel aren’t good at playing things straight, but there were times when I noticed I hadn’t laughed for what seemed like several minutes. Like many of the punches Caine takes, this movie wasn’t exactly “painful,” but it certainly didn’t do me much good.
Grade: C
“Novocaine” is rated R for strong bloody violence, grisly images, and language throughout. Its running time is 110 minutes.
Contact Bob Garver at rrg251@nyu.edu.
Movie Reviews
Movie Review: The Cat (1991) – 88 Films Blu-ray – HorrorFuel.com: Reviews, Ratings and Where to Watch the Best Horror Movies & TV Shows
Movie Reviews
1985 Movie Reviews – Bad Medicine, King Solomon’s Mines, and One Magic Christmas | The Nerdy
Welcome to an exciting year-long project here at The Nerdy. 1985 was an exciting year for films giving us a lot of films that would go on to be beloved favorites and cult classics. It was also the start to a major shift in cultural and societal norms, and some of those still reverberate to this day.
We’re going to pick and choose which movies we hit, but right now the list stands at nearly four dozen.
Yes, we’re insane, but 1985 was that great of a year for film.
The articles will come out – in most cases – on the same day the films hit theaters in 1985 so that it is their true 40th anniversary. All films are also watched again for the purposes of these reviews and are not being done from memory. In some cases, it truly will be the first time we’ve seen them.
This time around, it’s Nov. 22, 1985, and we’re off to see Bad Medicine, King Solomon’s Mines, and One Magic Christmas.
Bad Medicine
Steve Guttenberg really was having a moment in the 1980s. Sadly, this film was part of that moment.
Jeffrey Marx (Guttenberg), comes from a medical family, but he has been able to get into a medical school due to low scores. His father finally sets up to go to a school in Central America. Once there he makes a few new friends, and eventually discovers not only does he actually like medicine, but he’s good at it.
This film had a few ingredients to be fun, but it lost it’s way with too many sub-plots. We didn’t need the owner of the school (Alan Arkin) lusting after Liz (Julie Hagerty). It added absolutely nothing to the overall story, and only served to slow the pace of the film down in several spots.
There may have been a decent film hiding in here, just no one knew how to get to the meat of it, apparently.
King Solomon’s Mines
Kids love Indiana Jones, so lets make our own!
Jesse Huston (Sharon Stone) wants to find her father, and hires Allan Quatermain (Richard Chamberlain) to help her. Her father had been looking for the fabled King Solomon’s Mines, so naturally they end up on the path to looking for them as well, running into every obstacle imaginable along the way.
Lets make no mistake, this is not a good movie. It is an out-and-out ripoff of everything that made Indiana Jones cool and successful. But despite it not being good, Chamberlain is so blasted charming as Quatermain that it’s hard not to root for the film a bit.
What kept tearing me out of the film was the stunts. Realistically, you know Indiana Jones should be dead about 20 times a movie, but the stunts were so good that you could believe he survived it. And it’s just not the same here. The scene where Quatermain gets dragged behind the train hitting all of the boards of the track was just too far to even be believable for a moment, and that really pulled me out of the film.
I give them points for trying, but they just never quite make it over the line.
One Magic Christmas
Hey kids! Christmas is coming! Who’s ready to get depressed?
Christmas angel Gideon (Harry Dean Stanton) gets assigned to help Ginnie Grainger (Mary Steenburgen) find the Christmas spirit… and so what if she watches her husband get killed along the way and she believes at one point both her kids are dead the same day?
Merry Christmas, everyone!
The film is unflinchingly sad for the majority of its runtime, making it difficult to fathom how it was made. In the end, Ginnie does get her Christmas spirit as Santa rewinds time so that her husband never dies. Of course, he doesn’t remove her memory of watching him get shot and him dying in front of her, but, you know, it was the 80s, who cared about trauma?
Just a bleak film that is baffling how it got made.
1985 Movie Reviews will return on Nov. 29, 2025, with Rocky IV and Santa Claus: The Movie.
Movie Reviews
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