“Alien: Romulus” started out at a disadvantage with me because I haven’t liked any of the “Alien” films that came before it. I’m not just talking about the heavily-maligned third and fourth installments from the 90’s, the “Predator” crossovers from the 2000’s, or the uneven Michael Fassbender arc of the 2010’s. I mean that even the “classic” original from 1979 and beloved first sequel from 1986 have never done it for me. I find them to be little more than glorified haunted house movies with one cool creature design and some extra squishy special effects. That isn’t to say that I think they’re terrible, exactly, just not worthy of their pedestals in popular culture. Now “Alien: Romulus” is a movie that I do think is terrible, exactly.

The movie follows new heroine Rain (Cailee Spaeny) and her glitchy android “brother” Andy (David Jonsson) as they try to escape a miserable mining planet owned by the Weyland-Yutani Corporation. They get an invite from her friend Tyler (Archie Renaux) to join him on an unsanctioned mission to a floating research station that contains stasis chambers and is set to arrive at a desirable planet in nine years. Also along are Tyler’s pregnant sister Kara (Isabela Merced), his cousin Bjorn (Spike Fearn), and Bjorn’s girlfriend Navarro (Aileen Wu).

Of course, things don’t quite go to plan. There isn’t enough fuel to run the stasis chambers, so the team has to look all over the ship for more. Another little snag, as you can probably imagine, is that the ship took an alien known as a Xenomorph onboard and now the ship is infested with everything from big, cumbersome, deadly aliens to smaller, more nimble, but still very deadly aliens. Also, the aliens have acidic bodily fluids that are capable of tearing through the ship itself, not to mention any unfortunate humans. Also, the station is owned by Weyland-Yutani, a company that never misses a chance to endanger humans for its own bottom line – and it wants that precious alien DNA. All of this is explained by the ship’s android science officer, and let’s just say that one of Weyland-Yutani’s cost-cutting measures is recycling android designs.

Since the characters aren’t interesting and the action isn’t exciting, I whiled away the time waiting for cast members to get killed off. There’s a big billboard in Times Square depicting Navarro getting attacked by a face-hugging Xenomorph, she’s a goner for sure. Bjorn is rude to everybody, he’s no doubt toast. Tyler is bland even for this movie, he has “killed off somewhere in the middle” written all over him. Kara exists solely so her pregnancy can be exploited for body horror. This franchise’s affinity for heroines takes away a lot of the suspense from Rain, though Cailee Spaeny is no Sigourney Weaver. The only character whose life or death I couldn’t predict with 99% certainty was Andy, and he arguably doesn’t even have a “life” in the first place.

Walt Disney World used to have an attraction called “Alien Encounter,” unrelated to the “Alien” franchise, but certainly reminiscent of it. Guests would sit strapped in a seat and be “terrorized” by an alien animatronic in the form of wind, water, and sound effects in a darkened room. Disney got complaints that the attraction wasn’t child-friendly, so they made the lighting dim instead of dark, scaled down the intensity, and generally made the whole thing less appealing to thrill-seekers. “Alien: Romulus” reminds me of a later version of that ride. While not devoid of violence by any means, the film can’t properly pull off a thrilling or scary atmosphere to save its life. Nor does it have the dramatic or comedic chops to be an interesting movie on any other level. That was what saved the first two “Alien” movies from being terrible, the human characters were likeable, even if I didn’t like their chances of survival. I think I liked this film’s five human characters less than Paul Reiser’s intentionally-detestable corporate sellout in “Aliens.”

Grade: D

“Alien: Romulus” is rated R for bloody violent content and language. Its running time is 119 minutes.

Robert R. Garver is a graduate of the Cinema Studies program at New York University. His weekly movie reviews have been published since 2006.

I know this might sound like a hyperbole, but just go with me on this one. I’ve just seen my favorite new release this year so far, and I’m hoping every movie lover sees it too. This new film is called Didi, a beautifully honest, coming-of-age comedy written and directed by an exciting, young, Taiwanese-American named Sean Wang (Nai Nai & Wai Po, 2023). Didi premiered at the Sundance Film Festival in January this year and was happily picked up by Focus Features and distributed to select theaters nationwide in late July.

Set in a San Francisco bay area suburb in the summer of 2008, a 13-year-old Taiwanese-American boy tries to figure out important rites of passage (like impressing a pretty girl, getting invited to parties, and getting into fights) before he starts high school. As the first narrative feature film of Sean Wang, Didi is semi-autobiographical which is partly why the whole film feels so personal, lived-in, and genuine.

This director is smart, because this semi-autobiographical film is not just about displaying and recreating his childhood memories but about exploring the emotions and experiences in the whirlwind of adolescence. We’ve enjoyed films like this before like Stand by Me (1986) and Mid90s (2018). But Didi is memorably different presenting a part of 21st century, Asian American life in the early years of social media with the nostalgia of flip phones, Instant Messenger, and MySpace. (This social media element of Didi is reminiscent of the wonderful 2018 coming-of-age comedy, Eighth Grade.)

The title character is not easily lovable or well mannered. He blows up a mailbox, talks back to his mom, and shoplifts, and that’s what gives this film more personality than if it were created by a giant film studio or an oversized committee of executives. (I’m looking at you, Disney.) It’s because of this plucky, destructive personality that makes Didi touching and sweet without being annoying.

It’s hilarious without being predictable, and it’s heartbreaking without being maudlin. Some of the most tear jerking moments show just a computer screen while the 13-year-old boy types in his feelings and his internet questions. No other film in recent memory captures the everyday importance of the internet and social media (and the connections it promises) for young kids than this one.

This film made me so happy and reminded me of the importance of family and finding your people. The dialogue is simple, so it doesn’t try too hard in creating the perfectly relatable progression of the story’s themes of friendship, belonging, loneliness, and shame. Many of us have memories of being left out of parties or being ridiculed for our appearance, and Didi touches this nerve of teenage disgrace/contempt with startling, contemporary, and direct clarity.

Izaac Wang’s (Raya and the Last Dragon, 2021) role of the hormone-fueled awkwardness and angry exuberance of teen boyhood is both endearing and shocking (much like the boys his age in real life). One moment you want to hug him tightly, and the next moment to want to scream at him for being so awful. The teenage boy’s mother is played with silent frustration by established Chinese actress Joan Chen (Lust, Caution, 2007). Her performance is Oscar worthy with her tired eyes, soft voice, and isolated determination. The world could be more peaceful with mothers like her.

This film received the Audience Award and Special Jury Award at Sundance this year, and I can’t wait to see what other awards it receives next year. Please put this title on your list. You will finish it with a smile.

Retired NFL player Michael Oher, whose life story inspired the Oscar-winning film “The Blind Side,” has spoken out for the first time following his lawsuit against the Tuohy family.

Oher alleges the Tuohys tricked him into signing a conservatorship when he was 19, claiming it was the same as adoption. He says the family exploited him, using his “name, image and likeness to promote speaking engagements” from which they collected millions, according to the New York Times Magazine.

“For a long time, I was so angry mentally. With what I was going through,” the 38-year-old told the magazine about his strained relationship with Sean and Leigh Ann Tuohy. “I want to be the person I was before ‘The Blind Side,’ personality-wise. I’m still working on it.”

In the film, Quinton Aaron plays Oher, who was an unhoused Black teenager. Leigh Anne, portrayed by Sandra Bullock, and her husband Sean, played by Tim McGraw, take him in and eventually become Michael’s legal guardians, dramatically changing all their lives. They provide him tutoring and other support, and Michael succeeds at school and at his sport. The Times’ 2009 review of the movie called it “high on hope, low on cynicism and long on heart.” But Oher claims the film and the 2006 book it was based on don’t tell the truth of his life.

He filed a petition in a Tennessee court last year claiming that the couple who said they’d adopted him never actually did. On Aug. 14, he submitted a 14-page document to the Shelby County Probate Court, alleging the Tuohys tricked him into signing the conservatorship, which he thought was part of an adoption when they took him in. This document gave the Tuohys the power to make business deals using his name, including those related to the film. Oher says the couple kept nearly two decades’ worth of financial information from him. He accuses the Tuohys of ignoring their legal and financial responsibilities to him.

Oher said he chose not to speak out when the 2009 film was released because he was focused on the start of his professional career with the Baltimore Ravens.

“Pro football’s a hard job,” Oher said in the interview with the magazine, published Sunday. “You have to be locked in 100 percent. I went along with their narrative because I really had to focus on my NFL career, not things off the field.”

The former first-round draft pick also addressed accusations made last year by the couple that Oher had attempted to shake them down for $15 million. The allegation came after Oher filed his suit. Martin D. Singer, the Tuohys’ attorney, said at the time the couple “will not hesitate to defend their good names, stand up to this shakedown and defeat this offensive lawsuit.”

“I worked hard for that moment when I was done playing, and saved my money so I could enjoy the time,” Oher said. “I’ve got millions of dollars. I’m fine.”

Although Oher didn’t attend the movie’s official premiere, he was persuaded to watch it a month after its release. He said it was like watching “a comedy about someone else.” Oher said the film underplayed his intelligence to such a degree that it made his new co-workers question his capabilities.

“The NFL people were wondering if I could read a playbook,” he said. “I started seeing stuff [online] that I’m dumb. I’m stupid. Every article about me mentioned ‘The Blind Side,’ like it was part of my name. … If my kids can’t do something in class, will their teacher think, ‘Their dad is dumb — is that why they’re not getting it?’”

The next hearing in the lawsuit is set for October.