Culture
Euro 2024 day 23: England's 'cheat code' water bottle and can the Dutch go all the way?
The semi-finals line-up for Euro 2024 is complete.
With France and Spain having assured themselves of places in the last four yesterday, England and the Netherlands followed them with victories today.
Both quarter-finals were tight and dramatic, in different ways. England once again looked laboured and devoid of imagination for much of their meeting with Switzerland, only to squeeze through thanks to Bukayo Saka’s brilliant individual goal — which cancelled out Breel Embolo’s opener — and then some heroics in the penalty shootout.
The Dutch, meanwhile, came from behind against Turkey to reach their first European Championship semi-final in 20 years, setting up a meeting with England in Dortmund on Wednesday.
Our writers dissect the major talking points.
England’s penalty secret? It’s all about the bottle
There didn’t seem to be much in it at first.
Cole Palmer had just scored England’s first penalty in their shootout with Switzerland and Manuel Akanji was sauntering forward to make his response. Jordan Pickford, the England goalkeeper, began to trot over too, before suddenly doubling back.
Pickford had forgotten something — his water bottle, which was rather oddly wrapped in a towel. Having picked it up, he moved back to his goal and placed the bottle, still wearing its towel, next to the side netting.
Having made Akanji wait a bit longer by moving forward to inspect the penalty spot, Pickford settled back on his goal line. Akanji had a short run-up and struck the ball with his right foot, but Pickford was one step ahead. He plunged to his left, parried the penalty away and England had an advantage they were never to relinquish.
Good fortune? Not so much. This was actually a triumph of subterfuge for England and their team of analysts who had studied the penalties of all Switzerland’s players, noted where they tended to place them and printed out their findings for Pickford to stick on his water bottle.
The analysis was captured by a photographer at the ground but Pickford was taking no chances in the moments before Akanji’s penalty — hence his decision to wrap the bottle in that towel.
And England’s backroom staff had clearly done their homework well. They had deciphered that Akanji was likely to shoot to his right, so the best way for Pickford to play the percentages was to dive left — which he duly did.
Pickford’s water bottle with the instruction for Akanji’s penalty (we have circled it here)
Having got it right first time, it was surprising Pickford did not follow his bottle’s advice on all the penalties.
Fabian Schar took their second one but rather than pretending to dive right before actually diving to his left — as his bottle instructed — Pickford did the reverse, faking left and jumping right. Schar’s penalty unfolded as the bottle had predicted, to his right, where the net was vacant.
Pickford did follow his bottle for the final two Swiss penalties: Xherdan Shaqiri struck his to the right, but it was too well placed and his shot just evaded Pickford’s fingertips.
The only penalty where the bottle was proved wrong was for Zeki Amdouni on the fourth kick. Pickford held his ground and dived low to his left, as he had been briefed, but Amdouni outwitted him by going to his right.
Thankfully for England, that one save was enough. And if their semi-final against the Netherlands on Wednesday also goes the distance, do not be surprised to see Pickford’s bottle and towel make another appearance.
Andrew Fifield
Saka stars — but where is Kane?
When Saka starts well, England start well. He was their best player in the first half against Serbia in their opening match of Euro 2024, when he repeatedly had the beating of marker Andrija Zivkovic, and today he was again.
It was no coincidence that the first half today was England’s best since they started the tournament nearly three weeks ago. Pushed high and wide in possession, in a formation that almost looked like a 3-4-3, Saka was up against left wing-back Michel Aebischer. And he easily had the beating of him.
So many times in the first half, Saka took advantage of the fact that England were getting the ball to him far faster than they had been against Slovakia in the previous round. Saka got into good positions, put crosses in and forced corners. The only frustration was that England were never able to turn any of those crosses into serious shots on goal.
Bukayo Saka was a star for England (Clive Mason/Getty Images)
Striker Harry Kane, who was prone to dropping deep throughout the match, ending up playing in defence at points in the second half, was unable to get on the end of any of Saka’s deliveries. Kane was substituted in extra time after an accidental touchline collision with England’s manager, Gareth Southgate.
Without the ball, Saka had to run back and cover Ruben Vargas, but he did that diligently. And when England needed him most, Saka delivered with the crucial equaliser, just when his team looked completely out of ideas.
Jack Pitt-Brooke
Can the Netherlands go all the way?
An unconvincing run, a manager who not many are convinced by, a couple of come-from-behind wins and a feeling that being in the good half of the draw is the only reason they are in the semi-finals… for England, read the Netherlands.
But here they are, in the final four of the Euros for the first time since 2004. So, how good are their prospects of winning just a second major tournament in their history?
Well, Turkey preyed on their weaknesses in today’s quarter-final, especially via set pieces and crosses, while Austria also took advantage of a badly organised defence when consigning them to third in the group stage. But the Dutch have got plenty going for them too.
The Netherlands celebrate beating Turkey (Stu Forster/Getty Images)
Again like England, when they’re confident and in full flow, showing composure and intensity, they can be great to watch, as was the case when beating Romania 3-0 in the round of 16.
Tonight, they had to show resolve, spirit… and some tactical acumen from manager Ronald Koeman with his second-half changes.
Three-goal Cody Gakpo is an obvious threat (who Turkey dealt with well until he crept in at the back post to take advantage of some dozy defending and help score the winner, via Mert Muldur’s own goal), while if Jerdy Schouten, Tijjani Reijnders and Xavi Simons are given time and space in midfield they can play — and then some.
Denzel Dumfries is always a pacy danger from full-back and then there’s big Wout Weghorst to throw into the mix off the bench for some aerial carnage.
England will have plenty to think about.
On current form, Wednesday’s semi-final in Dortmund looks too close to call.
Tim Spiers
Guler departs… as a star
While a Barcelona teenager — Spain’s Lamine Yamal — has rightly been garnering attention throughout the tournament for his sparkling performances, one from their arch-rivals Real Madrid has emerged as someone equally thrilling.
Arda Guler of Turkey may not have played too often for Madrid last season, mostly owing to injury, but he ended his debut year at the Bernabeu in fabulous form (five goals in five games) and brought that momentum to Euro 2024.
Arda Guler has been a star at Euro 2024 (Odd Andersen/AFP via Getty Images)
His second assist of the tournament against the Netherlands today was a beauty. Turkey and Guler, after a slow start, had come into the game via a series of threatening set pieces which the Dutch struggled to cope with, and the opening goal was an extension of that.
Picking up a cleared corner on the right of the box, Guler was itching to try to work the ball onto his favoured left foot and whip it into the box.
With no angle to do that, the 19-year-old, who also hit the post with a free kick in the second half, reluctantly took a swish with his right… and delivered a picture-perfect outswinging cross that completely befuddled goalkeeper Bart Verbruggen, who resembled someone who had half-crossed a road only to recoil and hesitate when seeing a speeding motorbike careering their way.
Verbruggen neither jumped to claim the ball nor reversed to his goal line. He was helpless. Step forward Samet Akaydin at the back post, only playing because of Merih Demiral’s suspension, and he planted an easy header into the net.
Guler’s tournament may be over now, but you sense that this is just the start of a glittering career, for club and country.
Tim Spiers
What’s next?
- Spain vs France (Tuesday, 8pm BST; 3pm ET)
- Netherlands vs England (Wednesday. 8pm BST; 3pm ET)
(Top photo: Carl Recine/Getty Images)
Whatever you do, don’t think of a bird.
Now: What kind of bird are you not thinking about? A pigeon? A bald eagle? Something more poetic, like a skylark or a nightingale? In any case, would you say that this bird you aren’t thinking about is real?
Before you answer, read this poem, which is quite literally about not thinking of a bird.
Human consciousness is full of riddles. Neuroscientists, philosophers and dorm-room stoners argue continually about what it is and whether it even exists. For Wallace Stevens, the experience of having a mind was a perpetual source of wonder, puzzlement and delight — perfectly ordinary and utterly transcendent at the same time. He explored the mysteries and pleasures of consciousness in countless poems over the course of his long poetic career. It was arguably his great theme.
Stevens was born in 1879 and published his first book, “Harmonium,” in 1923, making him something of a late bloomer among American modernists. For much of his adult life, he worked as an executive for the Hartford Accident and Indemnity Company, rising to the rank of vice president. He viewed insurance less as a day job to support his poetry than as a parallel vocation. He pursued both activities with quiet diligence, spending his days at the office and composing poems in his head as he walked to and from work.
As a young man, Stevens dreamed of traveling to Europe, though he never crossed the Atlantic. In middle age he made regular trips to Florida, and his poems are frequently infused with ideas of Paris and Rome and memories of Key West. Others partake of the stringent beauty of New England. But the landscapes he explores, wintry or tropical, provincial or cosmopolitan, are above all mental landscapes, created by and in the imagination.
Are those worlds real?
Let’s return to the palm tree and its avian inhabitant, in that tranquil Key West sunset of the mind.
Until then, we find consolation in fangles.
When the director Rob Reiner cast his leads in the 1986 film “Stand by Me,” he looked for young actors who were as close as possible to the personalities of the four children they’d be playing. There was the wise beyond his years kid from a rough family (River Phoenix), the slightly dim worrywart (Jerry O’Connell), the cutup with a temper (Corey Feldman) and the sensitive, bookish boy.
Wil Wheaton was perfect for that last one, Gordie Lachance, a doe-eyed child who is ignored by his family in favor of his late older brother. Now, 40 years later, he’s traveling the country to attend anniversary screenings of the film, alongside O’Connell and Feldman, which has thrown him back into the turmoil that he felt as an adolescent.
Wheaton has channeled those emotions and his on-set memories into his latest project: narrating a new audiobook version of “The Body,” the 1982 Stephen King novella on which the film was based.
A few years ago, Wheaton started to float the idea of returning to the story that gave him his big break — that of a quartet of boys in 1959 Oregon, in their last days before high school, setting out to find a classmate’s dead body. “I’ve been telling the story of ‘Stand By Me’ since I was 12 years old,” he said.
But this time was different. Wheaton, who has narrated dozens of audiobooks, including Andy Weir’s “The Martian” and Ernest Cline’s “Ready Player One,” says he has come to enjoy narration more than screen acting. “I’m safe, I’m in the booth, nobody’s looking at me and I can just tell you a story.”
The fact that he, an older man looking back on his younger years, is narrating a story about an older man looking back on his younger years, is not lost on Wheaton. King’s original story is bathed in nostalgia. Coming to terms with death and loss is one of its primary themes.
Two days after appearing on stage at the Academy Awards as part of a tribute to Reiner — who was murdered in 2025 alongside his wife, Michele — Wheaton got on the phone to talk about recording the audiobook, reliving his favorite scenes from the film and reexamining a quintessential story of childhood loss through the lens of his own.
This interview has been edited and condensed.
“I felt really close to him, and my memory of him.”
Wheaton on channeling a co-star’s performance.
There’s this wonderful scene in “Stand By Me.” Gordie and Chris are walking down the tracks talking about junior high. Chris is telling Gordie, “I wish to hell I was your dad, because I care about you, and he obviously doesn’t.”
It’s just so honest and direct, in a way that kids talk to each other that adults don’t. And I think that one of the reasons that really sticks with people, and that piece really lands on a lot of audiences, and has for 40 years, is, just too many people have been Gordie in that scene.
That scene is virtually word for word taken from the text of the book. And when I was narrating that, I made a deliberate choice to do my best to recreate what River did in that scene.
“You’re just a kid,
Gordie–”
“I wish to fuck
I was your father!”
he said angrily.
“You wouldn’t go around
talking about takin those stupid shop courses if I was!
It’s like
God gave you something,
all those stories
you can make up, and He said:
This is what we got for you, kid.
Try not to lose it.
But kids lose everything
unless somebody looks out for them and if your folks
are too fucked up to do it
then maybe I ought to.”
I watched that scene a couple of times because I really wanted — I don’t know why it was so important to me to — well, I know: because I loved him, and I miss him. And I wanted to bring him into this as best as I could, right?
So I was reading that scene, and the words are identical to the script. And I had this very powerful flashback to being on the train tracks that day in Cottage Grove, Oregon. And I could see River standing next to them. They’re shooting my side of the scene and there’s River, right next to the camera, doing his off-camera dialogue, and there’s the sound guy, and there’s the boom operator. There’s my key light.
I could hear and feel it. It was the weirdest thing. It’s like I was right back there.
I was able to really take in the emotional memory of being Gordie in all of those scenes. So when I was narrating him and I’m me and I’m old with all of this experience, I just drew on what I remembered from being that little boy and what I remember of those friendships and what they meant to me and what they mean to me today.
“Rob gave me a gift. Rob gave me a career.”
Wheaton recalls the “Stand By Me” director’s way with kids on set, as well as his recent Oscars tribute.
Rob really encouraged us to be kids.
Jerry tells the most amazing story about that scene, where we were all sitting around, and doing our bit, and he improvised. He was just goofing around — we were just playing — and he said something about spitting water at the fat kid.
We get to the end of the scene, and he hears Rob. Rob comes around from behind the thing, and he goes, “Jerry!” And Jerry thinks, “Oh no, I’m in trouble. I’m in trouble because I improvised, and I’m not supposed to improvise.”
The context for Jerry is that he had been told by the adults in his life, “Sit on your hands and shut up. Stop trying to be a cutup. Stop trying to be funny. Stop disrupting people. Just be quiet.” And Jerry thinks, “Oh my God. I didn’t shut up. I’m in trouble. I’m gonna get fired.”
Rob leans in to all of us, and Rob says, “Hey, guys, do you see that? More of that. Do that!”
The whole time when you’re a kid actor, you’re just around all these adults who are constantly telling you to grow up. They’re mad that you’re being a kid. Rob just created an environment where not only was it supported that we would be kids — and have fun, and follow those kid instincts and do what was natural — it was expected. It was encouraged. We were supposed to do it.
They chanted together:
“I don’t shut up,
I grow up.
And when I look at you I throw up.”
“Then your mother goes around the corner
and licks it up,”
I said, and hauled ass out of there,
giving them the finger over my shoulder as I went.
I never had any friends later on
like the ones I had when I was twelve.
Jesus, did you?
When we were at the Oscars, I looked at Jerry. And we looked at this remarkable assemblage of the most amazingly talented, beautiful artists and storytellers. We looked around, and Jerry leans down, and he said, “We all got our start with Rob Reiner. He trusted every single one of us.”
And to stand there for him, when I really thought that I would be standing with him to talk about this stuff — it was a lot.
“I was really really really excited — like jumping up and down.”
The scene Wheaton was most looking forward to narrating: the tale of Lard Ass Hogan.
I was so excited to narrate it. It’s a great story! It’s a funny story. It’s such a lovely break — it’s an emotional and tonal shift from what’s happening in the movie.
I know this as a writer: You work to increase and release tension throughout a narrative, and Stephen King uses humor really effectively to release that tension. But it also raises the stakes, because we have these moments of joy and these moments of things being very silly in the midst of a lot of intensity.
That’s why the story of Lard Ass Hogan is so fun for me to tell. Because in the middle of that, we stop to do something that’s very, very fun, and very silly and very celebratory.
“Will you shut up and let him tell it?”
Teddy hollered.
Vern blinked.
“Sure. Yeah.
Okay.”
“Go on, Gordie,”
Chris said. “It’s not really much—”
“Naw,
we don’t expect much from a wet end like you,”
Teddy said,
“but tell it anyway.”
I cleared my throat. “So anyway.
It’s Pioneer Days,
and on the last night
they have these three big events.
There’s an egg-roll for the little kids and a sack-race for kids that are like eight or nine,
and then there’s the pie-eating contest.
And the main guy of the story
is this fat kid nobody likes
named Davie Hogan.”
When I narrate this story — whenever there is a moment of levity or humor, whenever there are those brief little moments that are the seasoning of the meal that makes it all so real and relatable — yes, it was very important to me to capture those moments.
I’m shifting in my chair, so I can feel each of those characters. It’s something that doesn’t exist in live action. It doesn’t exist in any other media.
“I feel the loss.”
Wheaton remembers River Phoenix.
The novella “The Body” is very much about Gordie remembering Chris. It’s darker, and it’s more painful, than the movie is.
I’ve been watching the movie on this tour and seeing River a lot. I remember him as a 14- and 15-year-old kid who just seemed so much older, and so much more experienced and so much wiser than me, and I’m only a year younger than him.
What hurts me now, and what I really felt when I was narrating this, is knowing what River was going through then. We didn’t know. I still don’t know the extent of how he was mistreated, but I know that he was. I know that adults failed him. That he should have been protected in every way that matters. And he just wasn’t.
And I, like Gordie, remember a boy who was loving. So loving, and generous and cared deeply about everyone around him, all the time. Who deserved to live a full life. Who had so much to offer the world. And it’s so unfair that he’s gone and taken from us. I had to go through a decades-long grieving process to come to terms with him dying.
Near the end
of 1971,
Chris
went into a Chicken Delight in Portland
to get a three-piece Snack Bucket.
Just ahead of him,
two men started arguing
about which one had been first in line. One of them pulled a knife.
Chris,
who had always been the best of us
at making peace,
stepped between them and was stabbed in the throat.
The man with the knife had spent time in four different institutions;
he had been released from Shawshank State Prison
only the week before.
Chris died almost instantly.
It is a privilege that I was allowed to tell this story. I get to tell Gordie Lachance’s story as originally imagined by Stephen King, with all of the experience of having lived my whole adult life with the memory of spending three months in Gordie Lachance’s skin.
Welcome to Great Adaptations, the Book Review’s regular multiple-choice quiz about printed works that have gone on to find new life as movies, television shows, theatrical productions and more. This week’s challenge highlights offbeat television shows that began as comic books. Just tap or click your answers to the five questions below. And scroll down after you finish the last question for links to the comics and their screen versions.
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