Movie Reviews
Movie Review – Witchboard (2024)
Witchboard, 2024.
Directed by Chuck Russell.
Starring Madison Iseman, Aaron Dominguez, Melanie Jarnson, Jamie Campbell Bower, Antonia Desplat, and David La Haye.
SYNOPSIS:
A young woman becomes obsessed with an antique pendulum board, opening a gateway for an evil spirit to enter our world.
Kevin Tenney’s 1986 movie Witchboard was a flawed-but-fun slice of ‘80s cheese that wasn’t without its charms and became something of a VHS rental hit. It told the fairly simple story of a love triangle and a young woman becoming obsessed with a Ouija board as those around her died mysteriously, and for a 15-rated horror movie in the 1980s it was fairly grisly and starred Whitesnake music video siren Tawney Kitaen for extra teenage male fantasy points.
So now we have the remake and, to be fair, Witchboard was a movie that could have benefitted from another telling, updating the mullets and multi-coloured punk fashions for something less garish. Unfortunately, it has been remade in the 2020s, a decade that has its own tropes and characteristics that will likely age it as quickly and negatively as the knitted cardigans and big hair of the 1980s did with the first one. At least that original movie was entertaining.
What Witchboard 2024 has in its favour is a director with a bit of a pedigree. Chuck Russell can easily be credited with reinvigorating the A Nightmare on Elm Street franchise and setting the direction that series would go with Dream Warriors, and his 1988 version of ‘50s classic The Blob normally falls in just under The Fly and The Thing as a remake that improved on the original. In this case, however, Russell’s magic touch just isn’t there, the director setting up scenes of occult horror only to be let down by a lacklustre cast that cannot seem to emote and CGI that would have (possibly) been great if this movie had been made in 1997.
Instead of the Ouija board of the original we have a pendulum board, which is ostensibly the same thing, only you dangle an item such as a necklace over it and it moves the necklace in the direction of an answer to your questions. The board has been possessed by the spirit of Naga Soth (Antonia Desplat), a witch who was the target of fanatical witch hunter Bishop Grogan (David La Haye) in 17th century France, and is found in the woods by Emily (Madison Iseman) after it was stolen during a robbery in modern-day New Orleans.
Emily is a recovering drug addict, and with her boyfriend Christian (Aaron Dominguez) they are opening a restaurant in the city’s French Quarter. After Christian’s ex Brooke (Melanie Jarnson) – who happens to be an expert on the occult – confirms what the mysterious board is for, Emily starts to use it, at first for innocent things like finding a lost ring, but things get weird when accidents start happening to those around her and Christian. Seeking Brooke’s help, they are introduced to Alexander Babtiste (Jamie Campbell Bower), a New Age Pagan who seems to have extensive knowledge of the board and what it can do, although his motives for helping Christian and Emily may not be entirely honourable.
Taking just the bare bones plot of the original and adding to it, Witchboard is messy and needlessly long, collapsing under the weight of its own ambitions long before its 112-minute running time is up. To their credit, the filmmakers have made a solid backstory for how the pendulum board came to be, and the opening scenes set in 17th-century France are the best of the movie, with Chuck Russell capturing the chilling and exciting atmosphere of a witches’ sabbath being broken up by vengeful clergy. Reminiscent of the flashback scenes in Rob Zombie’s Lords of Salem (but without the naked witch body suits), whenever the movie reverts back to the 1690s it immediately becomes more interesting, making you wish the whole thing was like this.
Unfortunately, whenever we are in the modern-day Witchboard is crammed with far too many flawed characters played by bland actors – which is pushing it – with too many plot contrivances to make the story feel anything other than forced and bloated. Madison Iseman is the standout, taking what is essentially the Tawney Kitaen role from the original and making the dual-personality of Emily when she is under the board’s spell the focal point, and she injects a lot of personality into what she has to do, especially when Emily is being possessed by Naga Soth.
The trouble is Christian is a very dull ‘hero’, which is telegraphed when you first see him collecting mushrooms in his man bag, and whereas Brooke had the potential to be the character with something about her – after all, she is an expert on all things occult, which just doesn’t seem to sit well with her overall personality – Melanie Jarnson’s performance can only be described as one-note, the note being a similar vocal tone to that of a record being played at a slow speed. Which leaves Alexander Babtiste (which is too close to Clinton Baptiste to not make him even more hilarious) as our other main character, and if Witchboard was in desperate need for a bit of scenery-chewing then Jamie Campbell Bower provides it, although you sometimes have to wonder if he knows he is the same movie as the other cast members as none of them seem to gel together.
There is some tasty gore here and there, although picking out the practical effects from the CGI is easily done as the computer generated visuals were clearly made using a processor that is close to being obsolete, and there is a very macabre tone throughout, even when the movie seems to be channelling The Devil’s Advocate (again with that late ‘90s vibe) with its depictions of glossy black magic and stylish occultism. It is just a shame that we didn’t get a witchfinding movie set in the 17th century as that is where this movie is strongest, but as a remake of Witchboard it is very disappointing, filled with awful characters, bad acting, pointless plot threads – such as Emily’s heroin addiction past, and the few scenes with her former supplier that could easily have been chopped out – and far too many ideas fighting for room in a script that cannot sustain them.
There is a solid occult horror in here somewhere that a bit of editing and streamlining could probably have brought out, but if Chuck Russell – the man who brought Freddy Krueger out of the shadows – couldn’t find it then what chance do we have of seeing it?
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ ★ / Movie: ★ ★
Chris Ward
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=embed/playlist
Movie Reviews
A New Dawn Anime Film Review
Perhaps there’s a certain irony in a story about a fireworks factory mostly keeping away from explosive drama. Yoshitoshi Shinomiya‘s lowkey feature directorial debut A New Dawn is at the very least visually captivating, comprised of lush and rather hypnotic production design. The story is small scale focusing on a trio of friends who try to save a fireworks factory in their hometown, but the imagery feels expansive and lush. A New Dawn begins with a beautiful and vaguely familiar display of this beauty: the flowing, painterly imagery of its opening sequence recalls Shinomiya’s work on the flashback sequence in Makoto Shinkai‘s your name., immediately showing that the film’s visuals might transcend its small town drama.
A background artist himself on films by Makoto Shinkai as well as the similarly resplendent Pompo: The Cinéphile, it makes sense that this history would be felt in the background works of A New Dawn. They’re dense with detail, rich with almost luminous color and illustrative texture. Shinomiya, who also wrote and storyboarded the film, veers away from the photorealism associated with someone like Shinkai through some impressionist touches – like the splotches of green paint which represent treelines – which sometimes turns into outright abstraction like when a character begins to run through the space. Sometimes there are swaying, morphing textures in the background as splotches of paint subtly shift around. On a more intimate level, the cluttered and characterful interior spaces tell a story too. This is a long-winded way of saying A New Dawn looks really, really good.
It’s not just in the tableaux of its countryside habitats and ramshackle living spaces carved out of abandoned warehouses, but there’s a sense of invention permeating through A New Dawn‘s various experiments with visual languages of animation. The most prominent is an incredibly charming stop motion animated sequence using a cardboard diorama and real human hands invading the shot in a creative reflection of a drunken character’s perspective. Even though it broadly still looks “anime” through its character design, there are also smaller details which work to set A New Dawn apart from its contemporaries, touches like its occasional lineless artwork or the way rain is defined through smudged black brushstrokes.
It’s in the screenwriting where A New Dawn begins to feel more run of the mill. Its story about the constant chasing of the majesty of a fabled firework “Shuhari” feels both familiar in its premise but also a little bit alienating in its structure. The importance of the firework itself never feels clear – the moment its mystery is unravelled hardly feels like a revelation as a result, something amplified by how the writing often obfuscates what anyone is talking about. The whole story feels a little distancing, and despite the allure of the background art and design of the spaces the characters inhabit, the people themselves feel constantly at arms length.
It almost pulls things back with its climax – the detonation of the “Shuhari” goes a long way in justifying the circular conversations about its nature and origins – a painted streak of light launches into the sky before turning into something otherworldly, suddenly tripling down on the film’s captivating exaggerations.
Movie Reviews
Hollywood Pariah Kevin Spacey Opens in a Straight to Video Movie with 25 Producers, 1 Review, No Theaters, No Press – Showbiz411
As we know, Kevin Spacey is a pariah in Hollywood.
He’s in a rare club with Mel Gibson, Armie Hammer, Nate Parker, Jonathan Majors, and James Franco.
Spacey has managed to avoid jail time by reaching settlements with various accusers of sexual malfeasance, all men.
His film career — which included two Oscars and a Tony Award — has been destroyed.
Spacey has been reduced to appearing in straight to video films, made for whatever reason the various producers involved know only to themselves.
On Friday, a new Spacey movie surfaced against its will, but not in theaters. It also went straight to video. “1780” is a period piece set during the Revolutionary War. Spacey plays a toothless Pennsylvania country trapper.
There is no rating on Rotten Tomatoes, largely because there is only one review. The review by Alan Ng of Film Threat is positive. Ng recently reviewed “World War Bigfoot,” which he also liked. He seems to specialize in reviewing films no one has heard of.
“1780” does boast 25 producers who will probably not see a return on their investment. But they can say they made a movie with Kevin Spacey.
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Movie Reviews
‘House of Criticism’ Review: A Pensive and Touching Portrait of Married Art Critics Jerry Saltz and Roberta Smith (It Is Only, at Moments, a True-Life Christopher Guest Movie)
If you wanted to be funny about it, you could say that Jerry Saltz and Roberta Smith, who occupy the center of the documentary “House of Criticism,” are like characters out of a Christopher Guest movie. Both are venerable New York art critics — but the thing is, they’re married New York art critics, whose lives revolve entirely around art and art criticism and talking about art and art criticism. They eat, breathe, sleep and dream it. In the Guest mockumentary of my imagination, the two would be played by Bob Balaban and Parker Posey, and they would be blissfully cracked egghead eccentrics who think that art is the most important thing in the world because it’s the most important thing in the world to them.
At moments, “House of Criticism” does throw off unintentional comic sparks of art-world insularity. But I’m kidding, ultimately, since underneath that it’s a pensive and touching documentary, and it happens to be about two writers I greatly admire. Roberta Smith, the co-chief art critic of the New York Times, and Jerry Saltz, the art critic of New York magazine, are writers of sway, elegance, legend. They’re two of the last powerful legacy critics in America, and both are fantastic writers. For them, the love of art is a mission, at once sophisticated and childlike. Roberta calls art “the most advanced operating system that our species has devised to explore consciousness, the seen and the unseeable.” The way art connects (and saves) these two on a daily basis is its own rarefied story, and it speaks to a certain vanishing culture of passionate New York literary brainiacs that used to be thought of as almost the essence of the city.
Early on, Jerry stands before Picasso’s epochal Les Demoiselles d’Avignon at the Museum of Modern Art and does a head-spinning riff on it, describing how 500 years of art history collapsed in the late 19th century (through Manet, the Impressionists, Van Gogh, Cezanne), leaving the blank slate for Picasso to fill. He compares the way the painting remade the world to the cataclysm of 9/11 (“When we believed in one course of history, and obviously there was another course of history, and they shattered”). Now that’s criticism.
As “House of Criticism” shows us, Jerry Saltz and Roberta Smith are luminaries and survivors who enjoy an idealized life together. Roberta is something of a contradiction, both the haughtier and more vulnerable of the two. She can be imperious in that Timesian way, but there’s a tremulous insecurity about her. Beneath a certain Midwestern patrician rigor, she’s full of self-doubt about her writing and is in constant need of encouragement, which Jerry is more than happy to provide. He’s blustery and big picture-oriented, while her insights are more delicate and intimate, blooming out of her holy communion with the work.
Jerry is a contradiction as well, a man who writes like a demon and looks like a dentist. But don’t let his fubsy aura fool you — he’s the social butterfly and loose cannon, plugged into social media (which he plays like a violin), and the audacious thoughts pour out of him. The most telling aspect of their relationship is that as writers they should be competitors, but instead they’re spiritual collaborators; they turn what could be a competition into a romance. They help each other on word choices, and even when they’re reviewing the same show, they’re really competing with themselves, with their own cultivated and highly different ideas of perfectionism.
Their relationship is built, to a large degree, around Jerry’s belief that Roberta is the superior critic — but this, for Jerry, is a form of chivalry, the flower of their love story. “Your writing is so condensed, right on the object, focused,” he says. He’s intensely supportive, but Jerry, who won the Pulitzer Prize for criticism in 2018, is arguably the greater writer (his poetic showmanship flies higher), and it’s my reading that deep down he knows it. It’s his perpetual self-deprecation and devotion that keeps the marriage balanced.
The two have no children and no apparent hobbies outside of their unrelenting obsession with art. They slip in and out of gallery openings, where they’re treated like royalty, and they attend 20 to 30 shows a week. By all rights, they should have a social calendar that rivals Andy Warhol’s in the ’70s. But here’s the joke: They adore their life together but are so devoted to their work, so monastic about it, that they never go out. Jerry calls them “happy losers” and describes their spacious apartment off Fifth Avenue in Greenwich Village as “the house that criticism built.”
In the morning, he pours deli coffee over ice into a 7-11 Big Gulp cup, and he’ll consume three of those a day. It’s fuel, as is the food he eats. When his friend Adam Platt, the New York magazine restaurant critic, asks Jerry what his favorite food is, Jerry replies: the grilled chicken at Gristede’s (a slightly downscale New York supermarket). “That’s the life of the mind!” says Platt. “You’re as happy with prison food.” He’s not kidding. I live in the same neighborhood and use Gristede’s as a convenience store, and I would never consider buying the grilled chicken there. But as Jerry explains, popping a bag of spinach into the microwave, he and Roberta are so consumed with work that they subsist on this drone food. The two barely go to restaurants (though we see them having breakfast at their favorite diner). Do they drink? If I was them, I’d need a cocktail by the end of the day, but the movie never says.
“House of Criticism,” directed by Alison Chernick, has a sketchy but rather controlled vantage. There’s a lot you don’t learn (I would have liked to see more about the politics of the New York art world), and plenty you do — like the fact that Lena Dunham is their goddaughter. Late in the movie, she comes over to visit them and provokes a penetrating exchange on the subject of why they never had kids.
People don’t often think of critics in humanistic terms, but these two invest criticism with soul, and there’s something disarming about how they were both damaged people who came together by seeing, in each other, a mirror image. She was born in New York and raised in Kansas, moving back to Manhattan in her early twenties to be part of the art scene (her mentor was the artist and critic Donald Judd). She found her way to criticism as a role in life, yet there was something metaphysically lonely about her.
It’s Jerry who comes from trauma. His mother, who committed suicide when he was 10, was erased out of his life (she was never spoken of again). He tells a haunting story about how she dropped him off for a solo visit to the Art Institute of Chicago just two weeks before her death, and it was there, on that visit, that the art lightbulb went off: He realized that every painting is a story. He wanted to be a painter, and tried (he had some talent), but thought that he lacked the proper schooling. What he really lacked was confidence. In photographs from the time, Jerry looks like he could be Richard Dreyfuss’s sad-sack brother. He wound up becoming a long-distance trucker, driving 10-wheelers full of paintings (he did this for 10 years), and he confesses that at moments he would go back into the truck and stomp on paintings and damage them. That is seriously sick behavior (his self-hatred was off the charts), and it’s amazing that he became the menschy person he did.
These two have thrived as critics by evolving. Jerry says of critics, “We have to adapt to the times, or we’re bullies and geezers.” He’s right. The film culminates in Roberta’s ultimate evolution — her decision to retire from the New York Times. The time feels right, but the question hovers: Without that job, what will her identity be? In a moving moment, she tells Jerry, “You’re my infrastructure.” “You’re mine,” he says. (That’s the critic version of “You complete me.”) And seeing each other through the prism of art is both of their infrastructure. These two are standard-bearers for the glory of a culture that once was. It’s a culture where criticism is about judging things, but more than that it’s about exploring things — experiencing things, bringing you closer to life.
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