Health
Melody Beattie, Author of a Self-Help Best Seller, Dies at 76
Melody Beattie, whose experiences as a drug addict, a chemical dependency counselor and the wife of an alcoholic informed a best-selling book about codependence that has guided countless people to shed toxic relationships, died on Feb. 27 in the Los Feliz neighborhood of Los Angeles. She was 76.
Her daughter, Nichole Beattie, said the cause was heart failure. She had been hospitalized from Nov. 30 to Dec. 12, then evacuated from her home in Malibu because of a wildfire and moved into her daughter’s home, where she died.
By popularizing the concept of codependence, Ms. Beattie (pronounced BEE-tee) became a literary star in the self-help world with “Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself” (1986), which has sold more than seven million copies worldwide.
“You could call her the mother of the self-help genre,” said Nicole Dewey, the publishing director of Spiegel & Grau, which has sold more than 400,000 copies of the book since taking over publication in 2022.
Trysh Travis, the author of “The Language of the Heart: A Cultural History of the Recovery Movement From Alcoholics Anonymous to Oprah Winfrey” (2009), said in an interview that “Codependent No More” has succeeded because of Ms. Beattie’s common-sense approach and “vernacular charm.”
She added: “There had been other books and pamphlets published in the recovery space in the early 1980s. Melody made the same arguments, but her voice came across very clearly. It wasn’t clinical — and she had a set of ideas that could be applied to many if not all the problems one was having — and it hit the market at the right time.”
In “Codependent No More,” Ms. Beattie cited various definitions of a codependent person. She also introduced one of her own.
“A codependent person,” she wrote, “is one who has let another person’s behavior affect them and who is obsessed with controlling that other person’s behavior.”
The other person, she wrote, might be a family member, a lover, a client or a best friend. But the focus of codependency “lies in ourselves, in the ways we let other people’s behaviors affect us and in the ways we try to affect them” — by actions that include controlling them, obsessively helping them and caretaking.
Recalling her difficult marriage to her second husband, David Beattie, who was also a substance abuse counselor, Ms. Beattie described an incident when he was in Las Vegas. She telephoned him in his hotel room, and he sounded as if he had been drinking. She implored him not to break his promise to her that he would not get drunk on this trip. He hung up on her.
In desperation, she called the hotel repeatedly into the night, even as she was preparing to host a party for 80 people at their house in Minneapolis the next day.
“I thought if I can just talk to him, I can make him stop drinking,” she told The Minneapolis Star Tribune in 1988. But at 11 p.m., she stopped calling.
“Something happened inside of me, and I let go of him,” she said. “I thought, ‘If you want to drink, drink. …’ I gave his life back to him, and I started taking my own back.”
She said that was the first step in detaching herself from their mutual codependence. They eventually divorced.
Detachment, she wrote, “is not a cold, hostile withdrawal” or a “Pollyannish, ignorant bliss”; rather, it is releasing “a person or problem in love.”
When should the release happen? she asked. Her list was long. It started: “When we can’t stop thinking, talking about, or worrying about someone or something; when our emotions are churning and boiling; when we feel like we have to do something about someone because we can’t stand it another minute. …”
Melody Lynn Vaillancourt was born on May 26, 1948, in Ramsey, Minn., and grew up mainly in St. Paul. Her father, Jean, a firefighter, was an alcoholic who left the family when Melody was 2. Her mother, Izetta (Lee) Vaillancourt, owned a nursing home after her divorce, but, Ms. Beattie said, beat her four siblings. (She escaped the punishment herself, she said, because she had a heart condition.)
Melody was sexually molested by a stranger when she was 5; began drinking whiskey at 12; and started using amphetamines, barbiturates, LSD and marijuana in high school. By 20, she was shooting heroin. She also robbed pharmacies with a partner and, after being arrested, spent eight months in drug treatment in a state hospital.
After being successfully treated, she held secretarial jobs before being hired as a chemical dependency counselor in Minneapolis, assigned to treat the wives of men in treatment. Her patients were uniformly angry and focused so much on their husbands’ feelings that she found it nearly impossible to get them to express their own.
“Eight years later, I understood those codependents, those crazy codependents — we didn’t call them that, we called them significant others — because I had become one” through her marriage to Mr. Beattie, she told The Star Tribune. “All I could think and talk about was the alcoholic, what he was or wasn’t doing.” She was, she said, “filled with anger and anger because he wouldn’t stop drinking.”
While treating the women, living on welfare and writing freelance articles for a local paper, The Stillwater Gazette, she interviewed experts on codependence, hoping to write a book on the subject.
She received a $500 advance from the publishing division of the Hazelden Foundation substance abuse recovery center, now called the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation. The book was published in 1986 and spent 129 weeks on The New York Times’s advice and how-to best-seller list.
Ms. Beattie went on to write several other books, including “The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency” (1990), which has sold more than three million copies.
Writing in Newsweek in 2009, Dr. Drew Pinsky, the addiction medicine specialist and media personality, named “Codependent No More” one of the four best self-help books of all time. Ms. Beattie heavily revised it for a new edition that was published in 2022.
In addition to her daughter, Ms. Beattie is survived by two grandsons; a sister, Michelle Vaillancourt; and a son, John Thurik, from her first marriage, to Steven Thurik, which ended in divorce. John was raised by his father and maternal grandmother.
Her marriages to Scott Mengshol and Dallas Taylor, who played drums with Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, also ended in divorce.
Her son Shane Beattie died in a skiing accident in 1991 when he was 12, plunging her into grief. She wrote “The Lessons of Love: Rediscovering Our Passion for Life When It All Seems Too Hard to Take” (1995) — a personal book, not a self-help guide — to describe her journey from a broken spirit to recovery.
Her first step was to write two letters, one of which said:
“God, I’m still mad, not pleased at all. But with this letter, I commit unconditionally to life, to being here and being alive as long as I’m here, whether that’s another 10 days or another 30 years. Regardless of any other human being and their presence in my life, and regardless of events that may come to pass. This commitment is between me, life, and you.”
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Relationship coach blames Oprah for pushing family estrangement ‘for decades’
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Oprah Winfrey is shining a light on family estrangement, which she calls “one of the fastest-growing cultural shifts of our time” — but one expert says the media mogul helped fuel that very culture.
“A Cornell University study now shows that almost one-third of Americans are actively estranged from a family member,” Winfrey said on a recent episode of “The Oprah Podcast,” referring to adult children going “no-contact” with parents, siblings or entire family systems.
Winfrey said the trend is a “silent epidemic” that can be especially relevant during the holidays.
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But family and relationship coach Tania Khazaal, who focuses on fighting “cutoff culture,” took to social media to criticize Winfrey for acting as if the estrangement crisis appeared “out of thin air.”
“Now Oprah is shocked by the aftermath of estrangement, after being one of the biggest voices pushing it for decades,” Canada-based Khazaal said in an Instagram video, which drew more than 27,000 likes and 3,000 comments.
Oprah Winfrey recently discussed what she called a “silent epidemic” of family estrangement on her podcast. (Theo Wargo/Getty Images)
Khazaal claimed that Winfrey’s messaging started in the 1990s and has contributed to a cultural shift where walking away became the first resort, not the last.
According to the relationship coach, millennials, some of whom grew up watching Oprah, are the leading demographic cutting off family members — and even if it wasn’t intentional, “the effect has absolutely been harmful,” Khazaal told Fox News Digital.
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The coach, who has her own history with estrangement, questioned why Winfrey is now treating the issue as a surprising crisis.
“Now she hosts a discussion with estranged parents and estranged kids, speaking on estrangement like it’s some hidden, sudden, heartbreaking epidemic that she had no hand in,” she said in her video.
Nearly one-third of Americans are estranged from a family member, research shows. (iStock)
Khazaal said she believes discussions about estrangement are necessary, but insists that people shouldn’t “rewrite history.”
“Estrangement isn’t entertainment or a trending conversation piece,” she added. “It’s real families, real grief, parents dying without hearing their child’s voice.”
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Winfrey reportedly responded in the comments, writing, “Happy to have a conversation about it — but not on a reel. Will have my producer contact you if you’re interested.” But the comment was later deleted due to the backlash it received, Khazaal told Fox News Digital.
“I would still be open to that discussion,” Khazaal said. “The first thing I’d want her to understand is simple: Setting aside cases of abuse or danger, the family unit is the most sacred structure we have.”
Experts emphasize that estrangement should be a last resort. (iStock)
“When children lose their sense of belonging at home, they search for it in the outside world,” she added. “That’s contributing to the emotional fragility we’re seeing today.”
Her critique ignited a debate online, with some social media users saying Khazaal is voicing a long-overdue concern.
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“The first time I heard, ‘You can love them from a distance’ was from Oprah … in the ’90s,” one woman said.
“My son estranged himself from us for five years,” one mother commented. “The pain, hurt and damage never goes away.”
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Others, however, argued that Winfrey’s podcast episode was empathetic and that estrangement shouldn’t be oversimplified.
Mental health experts say the conversation around estrangement is more complex than any single celebrity influence, and reflects broader cultural shifts.
Experts say today’s focus on boundaries and emotional well-being has reshaped family expectations. (iStock)
In the episode with Winfrey, Joshua Coleman, a California-based psychologist, said, “The old days of ‘honor thy mother and thy father,’ ‘respect thy elders’ and ‘family is forever’ has given way to much more of an emphasis on personal happiness, personal growth, my identity, my political beliefs, my mental health.”
Coleman noted that therapists sometimes become “detachment brokers” by unintentionally green-lighting estrangement.
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Jillian Amodio, a licensed master’s social worker at the Maryland-based Waypoint Wellness Center, told Fox News Digital that while public figures like Winfrey help normalize these conversations, estrangement might just be a more openly discussed topic now.
“Estrangement used to be handled privately and quietly,” she said.
Winfrey’s take on family estrangement is prompting a broader discussion amid the holiday season. (iStock)
But even strained relationships can be fixed with the right support, experts say.
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Susan Foosness, a North Carolina-based clinical director of patient programs at Rula Health, said families can strengthen their relationships by working with a mental health professional to improve communication, learn healthier conflict-resolution skills, and build trust and empathy through quality time together.
“No family is perfect,” Foosness told Fox News Digital.
Khazaal agreed, saying, “Parents need to learn how to listen without slipping into justification, and children need help speaking about their pain without defaulting to blame or avoidance.”
Fox News Digital reached out to Winfrey for comment.
Health
Major measles outbreak leads to hundreds quarantined in US county, officials say
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South Carolina is facing a major measles outbreak, resulting in the quarantine of hundreds of residents.
The South Carolina Department of Health (DPH) reported in a media briefing on Wednesday that the current number of measles cases has reached 111 as part of the current Spartanburg County outbreak.
DPH first reported a measles outbreak in the Upstate region on Oct. 2.
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The health department confirmed that 254 people are currently in quarantine and 16 are in isolation to prevent further spread.
The health department confirmed that 254 people are currently in quarantine in the upstate region. (Getty Images)
“This significant jump in cases is unfortunate,” a DPH spokesperson commented on the outbreak.
Public exposure was identified at Inman Intermediate School, with 43 of their students in quarantine.
“This significant jump in cases is unfortunate.”
Eight other intermediate and middle schools in the area are also reportedly undergoing quarantine. The DPH said multiple students have had to quarantine twice due to repeat exposure.
“Vaccination continues to be the best way to prevent the disruption that measles is causing to people’s education, to employment and other factors in people’s lives and our communities,” the spokesperson said.
“This significant jump in cases is unfortunate,” a DPH spokesperson commented on the current outbreak. (iStock)
Out of the 111 confirmed cases, 105 were unvaccinated. Receiving a vaccination within 72 hours has been shown to prevent measles infection, the DPH spokesperson noted.
Some cases are related to travel exposure, while others are from an unknown source, suggesting that measles is circulating in the community, the DPH noted.
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Connecticut has also reported its first measles case in four years, according to the Connecticut Department of Public Health.
The department confirmed on Thursday that an unvaccinated child in Fairfield County, under the age of 10, was diagnosed with measles after recently traveling internationally.
“Vaccination continues to be the best way to prevent the disruption that measles is causing,” a DPH spokesperson said. (iStock)
The child began to show symptoms several days later, including a runny nose, cough, congestion, fever and a rash starting at the head and spreading to the rest of the body.
The Connecticut DPH noted that measles is “highly contagious” and can spread quickly through the air via coughing or sneezing. The CDC has estimated that nine out of 10 unvaccinated individuals who encounter an infected person will develop the measles virus.
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According to the International Vaccine Access Center, more than 1,800 cases of measles have been reported in 2025, which is the most since the U.S. declared the virus eliminated in 2000. It is also the most cases recorded in three decades.
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“The single best way to protect your children and yourself from measles is to be vaccinated,” DPH Commissioner Manisha Juthani, M.D., wrote in a statement. “One dose of measles vaccine is about 93% effective, while two doses are about 97% effective.”
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