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L.A. Affairs: Could I learn to like Los Angeles for the sake of my relationship?

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L.A. Affairs: Could I learn to like Los Angeles for the sake of my relationship?

We shared our first kiss while studying poetry in the foothills of the Rockies. “I’ll move anywhere with you,” I declared one year later. “Anywhere except L.A.” After a childhood on the suburban edges of a Midwestern prairie, I wanted big sky and mountains almost as much as I wanted Domi. But he won out, and we ended up here in his hometown.

Domi had wooed me well. Now he wanted Los Angeles to seduce me. He showered me with scarves and necklaces as we perused the trendy Melrose Avenue shops. We sipped cocktails at the Dresden while swaying along to Marty & Elayne. To prove I hadn’t lost the mountains by moving here, he drove his Jeep Wrangler down Pacific Coast Highway and up into Topanga Canyon for dinner underneath the fairy lights at the Inn of the Seventh Ray.

I began to acclimate to L.A.’s charm, but my celebrity encounters gave me away as a foreigner. At Du-Par’s in the Original Farmers Market, I implored my city-bred boyfriend not to look at the movie star eating pancakes by himself at the counter. I thought I had whispered discreetly, but both Domi and the movie star laughed so loudly the whole restaurant turned to look at me. While we tossed back margaritas at Mexico City, I resolved not to embarrass myself again by staring at the lead in my favorite television show sitting two booths over. Yet by the end of her meal, she had slunk down so low her head was almost level to the table.

One day we hiked up past Griffith Observatory to the top of Mt. Hollywood. I sat facing westward, drinking in the big sky view that stretched all the way to the ocean. The only other group of hikers clustered together, facing eastward. When they left, I gushed that they had been members of a famous rock band. “But that’s not the point,” I said. “The point is that I didn’t scare them off. I finally belong here!”

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Domi agreed. On a weekend trip to Baja, we stopped for lobster at Puerto Nuevo. We bought cheap rings in Ensenada and exchanged them under the full moon. Back in Los Angeles, we performed our wedding vows — a poem we wrote together — for friends and family among the pepper trees and roses at the Los Angeles River Center and Gardens in Cypress Park.

As educators in South Los Angeles schools, we worked long hours. Other than the occasional Lakers game (Domi’s mom had season tickets), nights out grew fewer and farther in between. “All we really do on the weekends is grab burritos at Baja Fresh and movies from Blockbuster,” I remarked one day. “Might as well have a baby.”

We bought a fixer-upper in Eagle Rock. Thanks to my high school students, I had become as enamored of L.A.’s murals and graffiti as I had once been with its celebrities. So Domi covered the baby’s walls with elaborate paintings of dragons, pirates, astronauts and a purple parrot (Magic Johnson) dunking on a green parrot (Larry Bird).

Through our child’s eyes, I found myself falling even deeper in love with Los Angeles. Domi and I pushed their stroller down the Venice Beach Boardwalk, stopping to listen to Harry Perry and watch a man on roller skates juggling while wearing a Speedo. We dug our toes into the sand as we waited for our names to be called for a seat at Gladstones in Malibu. We celebrated my students’ quinceañeras in ornate halls across South L.A.

Closer to home we walked for a mile under the bright holiday lights strung along the road at Griffith Park. We went trick-or-treating on Eagle Rock’s Hill Drive and stopped to watch a flash mob perform “Thriller.” We spent Saturday mornings watching trainers walk the horses proudly and slowly around the track at Santa Anita Park.

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As our child grew older, I found myself transforming into a (literal) soccer mom and discovering whole new pockets of Southern California. Some of the soccer pitches were nearby, nestled in the Crescenta Valley foothills. Gradually, we found our perimeter widening. We traversed the 210 Freeway to the 605 Freeway for nighttime practices at a sports park across from the venue where our kid had once spent weekends dressed as a knight, riding the wooden ship that swung back and forth at the Renaissance Pleasure Faire. We pushed farther eastward to spend countless weekends on the sidelines at Norco’s vast expanse of soccer fields and southward to the fields underneath the giant orange balloon at Orange County’s Great Park.

Throughout all the soccer years, practices at Pasadena High School remained a constant. On the days when it was my turn to drive the carpool, I dropped the kids off, then drove a mile up the road to Eaton Canyon. Under the day’s last light, I hiked from the parking lot, past the nature center and along the stream. I passed the turnoff to the waterfall, climbed the steep paved hill and touched the Pinecrest Gate leading out to the streets of Altadena. Then I headed back in the orange-pink twilight. Sometimes I would pass deer, sometimes another hiker. But mostly, the trail felt all mine. On those evenings most of all, I knew I had finally made my home here. Here in a city bounded by mountains and teeming with magic moments.

This is a love letter to Domi, who helped me learn to love Los Angeles. This is a love letter to Los Angeles, the backdrop to our love story as a family. And this is a love letter to everyone who has ever walked through Eaton Canyon alone at dusk. Someday we’ll pass each other there on the trail again. Someday.

The author is a longtime L.A. educator who lives in Eagle Rock.

L.A. Affairs chronicles the search for romantic love in all its glorious expressions in the L.A. area, and we want to hear your true story. We pay $400 for a published essay. Email LAAffairs@latimes.com. You can find submission guidelines here. You can find past columns here.

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Mundane, magic, maybe both — a new book explores ‘The Writer’s Room’

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Mundane, magic, maybe both — a new book explores ‘The Writer’s Room’

There’s a three-story house in Baltimore that looks a bit imposing. You walk up the stone steps before even getting up to the porch, and then you enter the door and you’re greeted with a glass case of literary awards. It’s The Clifton House, formerly home of Lucille Clifton.

The National Book Award-winning poet lived there with her husband, Fred, starting in 1967 until the bank foreclosed on the house in 1980. Clifton’s daughter, Sidney Clifton, has since revived the house and turned it into a cultural hub, hosting artists, readings, workshops and more. But even during a February visit, in the mid-afternoon with no organized events on, the house feels full.

The corner of Lucille Clifton's bedroom, where she would wake up and write in the mornings

The corner of Lucille Clifton’s bedroom, where she would wake up and write in the mornings

Andrew Limbong/NPR


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Andrew Limbong/NPR

“There’s a presence here,” Clifton House Executive Director Joël Díaz told me. “There’s a presence here that sits at attention.”

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Sometimes, rooms where famous writers worked can be places of ineffable magic. Other times, they can just be rooms.

The Writer’s Room: The Hidden Worlds That Shape the Books We Love

Princeton University Press

Katie da Cunha Lewin is the author of the new book, The Writer’s Room: The Hidden Worlds That Shape the Books We Love, which explores the appeal of these rooms. Lewin is a big Virginia Woolf fan, and the very first place Lewin visited working on the book was Monk’s House — Woolf’s summer home in Sussex, England. On the way there, there were dreams of seeing Woolf’s desk, of retracing Woolf’s steps and imagining what her creative process would feel like. It turned out to be a bit of a disappointment for Lewin — everything interesting was behind glass, she said. Still, in the book Lewin writes about how she took a picture of the room and saved it on her phone, going back to check it and re-check it, “in the hope it would allow me some of its magic.”

Let’s be real, writing is a little boring. Unlike a band on fire in the recording studio, or a painter possessed in their studio, the visual image of a writer sitting at a desk click-clacking away at a keyboard or scribbling on a piece of paper isn’t particularly exciting. And yet, the myth of the writer’s room continues to enrapture us. You can head to Massachusetts to see where Louisa May Alcott wrote Little Women. Or go down to Florida to visit the home of Zora Neale Hurston. Or book a stay at the Scott & Zelda Fitzgerald Museum in Alabama, where the famous couple lived for a time. But what, exactly, is the draw?

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Lewin said in an interview that whenever she was at a book event or an author reading, an audience question about the writer’s writing space came up. And yes, some of this is basic fan-driven curiosity. But also “it started to occur to me that it was a central mystery about writing, as if writing is a magic thing that just happens rather than actually labor,” she said.

In a lot of ways, the book is a debunking of the myths we’re presented about writers in their rooms. She writes about the types of writers who couldn’t lock themselves in an office for hours on end, and instead had to find moments in-between to work on their art. She covers the writers who make a big show of their rooms, as a way to seem more writerly. She writes about writers who have had their homes and rooms preserved, versus the ones whose rooms have been lost to time and new real estate developments. The central argument of the book is that there is no magic formula to writing — that there is no daily to-do list to follow, no just-right office chair to buy in order to become a writer. You just have to write.

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Bruce Johnston Retiring From The Beach Boys After 61 Years

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Bruce Johnston Retiring From The Beach Boys After 61 Years

Bruce Johnston
I’m Riding My Last Wave With The Beach Boys

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On the brink of death, a woman is saved by a stranger and his family

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On the brink of death, a woman is saved by a stranger and his family

In 1982, Jean Muenchrath was injured in a mountaineering accident and on the brink of death when a stranger and his family went out of their way to save her life.

Jean Muenchrath


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Jean Muenchrath

In early May 1982, Jean Muenchrath and her boyfriend set out on a mountaineering trip in the Sierra Nevada, a mountain range in California. They had done many backcountry trips in the area before, so the terrain was somewhat familiar to both of them. But after they reached one of the summits, a violent storm swept in. It began to snow heavily, and soon the pair was engulfed in a blizzard, with thunder and lightning reverberating around them.

“Getting struck and killed by lightning was a real possibility since we were the highest thing around for miles and lightning was striking all around us,” Muenchrath said.

To reach safer ground, they decided to abandon their plan of taking a trail back. Instead, using their ice axes, they climbed down the face of the mountain through steep and icy snow chutes.

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They were both skilled at this type of descent, but at one particularly difficult part of the route, Muenchrath slipped and tumbled over 100 feet down the rocky mountain face. She barely survived the fall and suffered life-threatening injuries.

This was before cellular or satellite phones, so calling for help wasn’t an option. The couple was forced to hike through deep snow back to the trailhead. Once they arrived, Muenchrath collapsed in the parking lot. It had been five days since she’d fallen.

 ”My clothes were bloody. I had multiple fractures in my spine and pelvis, a head injury and gangrene from a deep wound,” Muenchrath said.

Not long after they reached the trailhead parking lot, a car pulled in. A man was driving, with his wife in the passenger seat and their baby in the back. As soon as the man saw Muenchrath’s condition, he ran over to help.

 ”He gently stroked my head, and he held my face [and] reassured me by saying something like, ‘You’re going to be OK now. I’ll be right back to get you,’” Muenchrath remembered.

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For the first time in days, her panic began to lift.

“My unsung hero gave me hope that I’d reach a hospital and I’d survive. He took away my fears.”

Within a few minutes, the man had unpacked his car. His wife agreed to stay back in the parking lot with their baby in order to make room for Muenchrath, her boyfriend and their backpacks.

The man drove them to a nearby town so that the couple could get medical treatment.

“I remember looking into the eyes of my unsung hero as he carried me into the emergency room in Lone Pine, California. I was so weak, I couldn’t find the words to express the gratitude I felt in my heart.”

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The gratitude she felt that day only grew. Now, nearly 45 years later, she still thinks about the man and his family.

 ”He gave me the gift of allowing me to live my life and my dreams,” Muenchrath said.

At some point along the way, the man gave Muenchrath his contact information. But in the chaos of the day, she lost it and has never been able to find him.

 ”If I knew where my unsung hero was today, I would fly across the country to meet him again. I’d hug him, buy him a meal and tell him how much he continues to mean to me by saving my life. Wherever you are, I say thank you from the depths of my being.”

My Unsung Hero is also a podcast — new episodes are released every Tuesday. To share the story of your unsung hero with the Hidden Brain team, record a voice memo on your phone and send it to myunsunghero@hiddenbrain.org.

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