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Transitioning later in life can feel isolating. One social group wants to change that
(From left to right) Portrait of Nicole Brownstein, Bernie Wagenblast, and Patrick Buenaventura at Wagenblast’s home in Cranford, NJ, on Monday, Feb. 19, 2024.
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(From left to right) Portrait of Nicole Brownstein, Bernie Wagenblast, and Patrick Buenaventura at Wagenblast’s home in Cranford, NJ, on Monday, Feb. 19, 2024.
Gabby Jones for NPR
When Bernie Wagenblast went to her first PROUDLY Me! meeting, she had no plans to transition.
She was in her late 50s, working as a radio announcer and using what she calls her “guy voice.” Then, she found the New Jersey-based support group for trans and nonbinary people of all ages. “I started it with the hope that it would be enough,” says Wagenblast, “and I wouldn’t have to go any further.”
At the time, her biggest fear with fully, publicly coming out was losing her life partner.
It’s a big fear for many older trans people who aren’t out, says Leigh Mann, a gender-affirming voice therapist and the former co-facilitator of PROUDLY Me!. Mann says that when people weigh the risks of coming out, “there’s a calculus that happens – and it’s unique for every person.” Personal safety, for example, is part of everyone’s calculus. When you pair that with the jeopardy of losing your spouse, contact with your children, or even your job, “it just gets exponentially more complicated.”
A night she calls ‘her Cinderella Story’
Wagenblast’s personal calculus shifted the night of the PROUDLY Me! semi-formal annual award ceremony. “In years past, I had always gone in a jacket and tie, but I didn’t feel comfortable doing that this time.” So she reached out to her older trans mentor, another PROUDLY Me! member.
Her mentor instructed her to stop by a Halloween store and buy a cheap wig and a pair of heels. “You come down to my house with the wig and the heels, I’ve got a dress for you, I’ll do your makeup, and you’ll go to this event as your true self.”
Nicole Brownstein adds a necklace to Bernie’s Wagenblast’s outfit.
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Nicole Brownstein adds a necklace to Bernie’s Wagenblast’s outfit.
Gabby Jones for NPR
Mentor Nicole Brownstein has done many of these makeovers for other trans women who’ve come to her in the same position. She’s helped all of them. “It’s like a big movie production,” says Brownstein. “I have them sit in a chair facing away from the mirror and then have them turn around.” In that moment when they first look at themselves, Brownstein sees the same expression that she saw in herself all those years ago: “to finally be able to see yourself as you’ve always envisioned yourself.”
That night, Wagenblast decided that she could and would socially transition. In the process, her greatest fear came true. Her marriage of 42 years came to an end.
“This person who was and is my best friend is no longer part of my daily life. That’s terribly difficult,” she says. “But friendships have become far more important in my life.”
Friendships like the one she has with Brownstein, who’s 77. Wagenblast and Brownstein belong to a close group of trans women who will regularly get together for dinner and drinks. “Just a group of girls going out to spend a nice evening together,” says Brownstein.
A chance for intergenerational friendships
While the PROUDLY Me! support group does have members of all ages, many love it specifically because of Wagenblast and Brownstein – and the others navigating this later in life.
This is especially true for Patrick Buenaventura. When they went to their first meeting, they lamented starting their journey at the age of 53. Until Brownstein shared that she began transitioning in her 60s – and then other members followed suit.
Portrait of Patrick Buenaventura wearing their award ceremony attire at Bernie’s house in Cranford, NJ, on Monday, Feb. 19, 2024.
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Portrait of Patrick Buenaventura wearing their award ceremony attire at Bernie’s house in Cranford, NJ, on Monday, Feb. 19, 2024.
Gabby Jones for NPR
That’s when it clicked for Buenaventura. “We all have our own journeys and we have our own timelines. This just happens to be mine – and I’m right on time. When I was supposed to transition is now.”
PROUDLY Me! also creates a space for younger and older trans people to come together in unexpected ways. Buenaventura remembers one college-aged person who came up to them and said that it was nice to see older trans folks, “because they couldn’t imagine their life when they were older.”
On the flipside, they’ve also learned from younger members to be less concerned with passing. “They’re like, ‘I will dress how I want. If I want to be a trans man or transmasculine, it doesn’t mean I have to wear a suit and tie. If I want to wear a skirt, I’ll wear a skirt.’ They’re defining themselves, and not letting the world tell them who to be or how to be.”
Without a community like PROUDLY Me!, it’s easier to feel isolated at any age. Kristi, who’s 65, requested anonymity since she’s not out as trans to friends and family.
She longs for closer connections to other trans women, but says she hesitates to join support groups since she hasn’t taken certain steps – like socially transitioning, starting hormone therapy or getting gender-affirming surgery. “I don’t present myself fully as a woman,” says Kristi. “And I don’t want people to say, ‘well, let’s ignore her. She’s not part of us, really.’ “
Currently, Kristi has no plans to socially transition. And she wishes there was a stronger community for people like her – people who don’t know when they’ll take those steps, or if they’ll ever take them. “Am I not going far enough? Am I not courageous enough to come out and be a woman?” Kristi routinely asks herself these questions. But then she’ll tell herself: “there are people who don’t feel compelled to do that. And that doesn’t make the journey any less real.”
(From left to right) Portrait of Patrick Buenaventura, Bernie Wagenblast, and Nicole Brownstein, wearing their award ceremony attire at Wagenblast’s house in Cranford, NJ, on Monday, Feb. 19, 2024.
Gabby Jones for NPR
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Gabby Jones for NPR
(From left to right) Portrait of Patrick Buenaventura, Bernie Wagenblast, and Nicole Brownstein, wearing their award ceremony attire at Wagenblast’s house in Cranford, NJ, on Monday, Feb. 19, 2024.
Gabby Jones for NPR
It’s been about a year since Bernie Wagenblast socially transitioned. And she’s still reveling in her new life. “To finally be living it for the first four or five months, it was like, ‘Pinch me. I’m afraid this is a dream, and that I’m going to wake up.’ “
Wagenblast is 67 now. Sometimes, she thinks about what it would’ve been like to come out earlier. To be a teenage girl, or a woman in her 20s.
But mostly, she’s just glad to be out now.
News
Man accused of plot to assassinate Trump testifies Iran pressured him, says Biden and Haley were other possible targets
The allegation sounded like the stuff of spy movies: A Pakistani businessman trying to hire hit men, even handing them $5,000 in cash, to kill a U.S. politician on behalf of Iran ‘s powerful paramilitary Revolutionary Guard.
It was true, and potential targets of the 2024 scheme included now-President Donald Trump, then-President Joe Biden and former presidential candidate and ex-U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley, the man told jurors at his attempted terrorism trial in New York on Wednesday. But he insisted his actions were driven by fear for loved ones in Iran, and he figured he’d be apprehended before anything came of the scheme.
“My family was under threat, and I had to do this,” the defendant, Asif Merchant, testified through an Urdu interpreter. “I was not wanting to do this so willingly.”
Merchant said he had anticipated getting arrested before anyone was killed, intended to cooperate with the U.S. government and had hoped that would help him get a green card.
U.S. authorities were, indeed, on to him – the supposed hit men he paid were actually undercover FBI agents – and he was arrested on July 12, 2024, a day before an unrelated attempt on Trump’s life in Butler, Pennsylvania. During a search, investigators said they found a handwritten note that contained the codewords for the various aspects of the plot, CBS News previously reported.
Merchant did sit for voluntary FBI interviews, but he ultimately ended up with a trial, not a cooperation deal.
“You traveled to the United States for the purpose of hiring Mafia members to kill a politician, correct?” Assistant U.S. Attorney Nina Gupta asked during her turn questioning Merchant Wednesday in a Brooklyn federal court.
“That’s right,” Merchant replied, his demeanor as matter-of-fact as his testimony was unusual.
The trial is unfolding amid the less than week-old Iran war, which killed Iranian Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei in a strike that Trump summed up as “I got him before he got me.” Jurors are instructed to ignore news pertaining to the case.
The Iranian government has denied plotting to kill Trump or other U.S. officials.
Merchant, 47, had a roughly 20-year banking career in Pakistan before getting involved in an array of businesses: clothing, car sales, banana exports, insulation imports. He openly has two families, one in Pakistan and the other in Iran – where, he said, he was introduced around the end of 2022 to a Revolutionary Guard intelligence operative. They initially spoke about getting involved in a hawala, an informal money transfer system, Merchant said.
Merchant testified that his periodic visits to the U.S. for his garment business piqued the interest of his Revolutionary Guard contact, who trained him on countersurveillance techniques.
The U.S. deems the Revolutionary Guard a “foreign terrorist organization.” Formally called the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps, the force has been prominent in Iran under Khamenei.
Merchant said the handler told him to seek U.S. residents interested in working for Iran. Then came another assignment: Look for a criminal to arrange protests, steal things, do some money laundering, “and maybe have somebody murdered,” Merchant recalled.
“He did not tell me exactly who it is, but he told me – he named three people: Donald Trump, Joe Biden and Nikki Haley,” he added.
In 2024, multiple sources familiar with the investigation told CBS News Merchant planned to assassinate current and former government officials across the political spectrum.
Merchant allegedly sketched out the plot on a napkin inside his New York hotel room, prosecutors said, and told the individual “that there would be ‘security all around’ the person” they were planning to kill.
“No other option”
After U.S. immigration agents pulled Merchant aside at the Houston airport in April 2024, searched his possessions and asked about his travels to Iran, he concluded that he was under surveillance. But still he researched Trump rally locations, sketched out a plot for a shooting at a political rally, lined up the supposed hit men and scrambled together $5,000 from a cousin to pay them a “token of appreciation.”
He even reported back to his Revolutionary Guard contact, sending observations – fake, Merchant said – tucked into a book that he shipped to Iran through a series of intermediaries.
Merchant said he “had no other option” than to play along because the handler had indicated that he knew who Merchant’s Iranian relatives were and where they lived.
In a court filing this week, prosecutors noted that Merchant didn’t seek out law enforcement to help with his purported predicament before he was arrested. He testified that he couldn’t turn to authorities because his handler had people watching him.
Prosecutors also said that in his FBI interviews, Merchant “neglected to mention any facts that could have supported” an argument that he acted under duress.
Merchant told jurors Wednesday that he didn’t think agents would believe his story, because their questions suggested “they think that I’m some type of super-spy.”
“And are you a super-spy?” defense lawyer Avraham Moskowitz asked.
“No,” Merchant said. “Absolutely not.”
News
Satellite images show Iran school strike hit more buildings than earlier reported
The bombing of an Iranian elementary school that killed some 165 people, many of them schoolgirls, included more targets near the school than has been initially reported, a review of commercial satellite imagery by NPR has found.
The images suggest that the school was hit on Saturday as part of a precision airstrike on a neighboring Iranian military complex — and that it may have been struck as a result of outdated targeting information.
The new images come from the company Planet and are of the city of Minab, located in southeastern Iran. They show that a health clinic and other buildings near the school were also struck. Three independent experts confirmed NPR’s analysis of the additional strike points.
The strike points “look like pretty clean detonation centroids,” said Corey Scher, a postdoctoral researcher at the Conflict Ecology laboratory at Oregon State University.
“These certainly appear like detonation sites,” agreed Scher’s colleague, Oregon State associate professor Jamon Van Den Hoek.
Jeffrey Lewis, a professor at Middlebury College who specializes in satellite imagery, said the imagery was consistent with a precision airstrike.
The images show “very precise targeting,” Lewis told NPR. “Almost all the buildings [in the compound] are hit.”
A satellite image of an Iranian Revolutionary Guard compound taken on March 4, several days after an airstrike destroyed a school on the edge of the compound. The image reveals that half a dozen other buildings in addition to the school were struck.
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Iranian state media said 165 people died in the bombing, which struck a girls’ school. The school was located within less than 100 yards of the perimeter of an Iranian Revolutionary Guard naval base, according to satellite images and publicly available information. The clinic was also located within the base perimeter, although both facilities had been walled off from the base.
Israel has denied involvement. “We are not aware at the moment of any IDF operation in that area,” Israel Defense Forces spokesperson Nadav Shoshani told NPR on Monday. “I don’t know who’s responsible for the bombing.”

At a press conference Wednesday morning, U.S. Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth said that the U.S. is looking into what happened at the school. “All I know, all I can say, is that we’re investigating that,” Hegseth said. “We, of course, never target civilian targets.”
Given Minab’s location in the southeastern part of Iran, Lewis believes it’s more likely the U.S. would have conducted the strike than Israel. As one gets farther south and east in Iran, “a strike is much more likely to be a U.S. strike than an Israeli strike because of the type of munitions and the geographic location,” he said.
Esmail Baghaei, the spokesman for Iran’s Foreign Ministry, called the strike “deliberate” and said that the U.S. and Israel bombed the school in part to tie up Iranian forces in the region with rescue efforts. “To call the attack on the girls school merely a ‘war crime’ does not capture the sheer evil and depravity of such a crime,” he said.
But Lewis said it’s more likely that the strike was the result of an error. Satellite images show that the school and clinic buildings were both once part of the base. The school was separated from the base by a wall between 2013 and 2016. The clinic was walled off between 2022 and 2024.
Lewis believes it’s possible American military planners had not updated their target sets.
“There are thousands of targets across Iran, and so there will be teams in the United States and Israel that are responsible for tracking those targets and updating them,” he said. “It’s possible that the target didn’t get updated.”
The Pentagon did not immediately respond to NPR’s request for additional information about the strike.
NPR’s Arezou Rezvani and NPR’s RAD team contributed to this report.
News
Mojtaba Khamenei, son of former supreme leader, tipped to become Iran’s next head of state
Mojtaba Khamenei, the second son of the assassinated Ali Khamenei, is being heavily tipped to succeed his father as supreme leader of Iran, which would pitch a hardliner into the task of steering the Islamic republic through the most turbulent period in its 48-year history and offer a powerful signal that, for now, it has no intention of changing course.
No official confirmation has been given and the announcement may be delayed until after the funeral of Ali Khamenei, which was on Wednesday postponed.
His son is believed to have been the choice of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC), and the Israeli defence minister, Gideon Saar, has warned he will be assassinated.
Ayatollah Seyed Khatani, a member of the Assembly of Experts, the body that chooses the new supreme leader, said the assembly was close to selecting a leader.
Rigid in his anti-western views, Mojtaba Khamenei is not the candidate Donald Trump would have wanted. Marco Rubio, the US secretary of state, said on Tuesday that Iran was run by “religious fanatic lunatics” – and Khamenei’s appointment is hardly likely to dispel that opinion.
The choice of supreme leader is made by the 88-strong Assembly of Experts, who in this case are picking from a field of six possible candidates. His election would be a powerful if unsurprising symbol that the government is not looking to find an accommodation with America.
Trump has said the worst-case scenario would be if Khamenei’s successor was “as bad as the previous person”.
There has been speculation for more than a decade that he would be his father’s successor, which grew when Ebrahim Raisi, the elected president and favourite of Khamenei, was killed in a helicopter crash.
Mojtaba Khamenei was born in 1969 and studied theology after graduating from high school. At the age of 17, he went to serve in the Iran-Iraq war, but it was not until the late 1990s that he came to be recognised as a public figure in his own right.
After the landslide defeat of Khamenei’s preferred candidate, Ali Akbar Nategh Nuri, in the 1997 presidential election, where he won only 25% of the final vote, various conservative Iranian groups realised the need to make changes to their structures and Mojtaba Khamenei was central to that project.
He was also seen as instrumental by reformists in suppressing the protests in 2009 that came after allegations the presidential election had been rigged, with his name chanted in the streets as one of those responsible. Mostafa Tajzadeh, a senior member of Iran’s reformist parties who was imprisoned after the vote, alleged that his and his wife, Fakhr al-Sadat Mohtashamipour’s, legal case was under the direct supervision of Mojtaba Khamenei.
In 2022 he was given the title of ayatollah – essential to his promotion. By then he was a regular figure by his father’s side at political meetings, as well as playing an influential role in the Islamic Republic’s Broadcasting Corporation, the government’s official media outlet often criticised for churning out dull political propaganda that many Iranians reject in favour of overseas satellite channels. He has also played a central role in the administration of his father’s substantial financial empire.
His closest political allies are Ahmad Vahidi, the newly appointed IRGC commander; Hossein Taeb, a former head of the IRGC’s intelligence organisation; and Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf, the current speaker of the parliament.
His rumoured appointment and its hereditary nature has long been resisted by reformists. The former prime minister Mir Hossein Mousavi, referring to the long history of rumours about Mojtaba Khamenei succeeding his father as leader, wrote in 2022: “News of this conspiracy have been heard for 13 years. If they are not truly pursuing it, why don’t they deny such an intention once and for all?”
The Assembly of Experts, in response, denounced “meaninglessness of doubts” and said the assembly would select only “the most qualified and the most suitable”.
Israel on Tuesday struck the building in the Iranian city of Qom, one of Shia Islam’s main seats of power, where the assembly was scheduled, but the building was empty, according to IRGC-affiliated media.
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