Dear Amy: I am a retired Catholic priest. For the most part, I have enjoyed these late-life years, especially as the pace of life has eased up. However, one difficulty I’ve encountered stems from my years in active ministry.
Washington
Advice | Ask Amy: Retired priest struggles with Catholic critique
This couple decided to stop attending church services. I felt this was their decision to make and have never criticized or judged them for it. However, invariably during our evenings together they steer the conversation to their gripes about the Catholic Church. I’ve gone so far as to meet privately with them, letting them know how uncomfortable I am with their behavior during something I consider an informal gathering of friends. All to no avail. I usually end up leaving these dinners feeling angry and depressed.
These folks have been great friends for many years, but I’m at my wits end trying to figure out how best to deal with the situation. Should I just give up and decline future invitations?
Father Confused: I can only imagine the pressure you might feel to always respond to uncomfortable situations in a way that basically protects others. Because you have retired from the formal part of ministry, it might not be necessary for you to be so discreet about your concerns when something bothers you. My point is that although you will always be a priest, you absolutely have the human right to react publicly to topics, behavior or comments that bother or offend you.
If this happens again at a social occasion, you can say a version of, “Naturally, this is a very difficult topic for me, but I realize that my presence seems to trigger a discussion about the failings of the institution I’ve devoted my life to. I’ve mentioned this privately but I understand now that bringing it up is just too tempting to avoid, so I’ll take this as my cue to say good night.” This is also an issue you might raise with your own pastoral counselor.
Dear Amy: Last year, I witnessed a tragic hit-and-run incident involving a car and a pedestrian. The pedestrian did not survive, and the incident deeply affected me. After learning the victim’s name through local press coverage, I engaged in a brief email exchange with the organizer of an online fundraiser for the person’s survivors. I’ve never met the deceased, but I’ve been seeking a deeper sense of closure and feel that paying my respects at their resting place would be meaningful. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to locate this information.
Considering the sensitivity of the matter and my limited connection to the victim, I wonder if it would be appropriate for me, a stranger, to ask the friend of the deceased who organized the fundraiser about the burial location. I am committed to approaching this with utmost respect for the feelings and privacy of those close to the victim. What is your advice?
Mourning: I can imagine the deep sadness and lingering confusion you might feel after witnessing this crime. I also appreciate your concern and your stated desire to be sensitive toward the survivors. As someone who has experienced the sudden, violent and traumatic loss of a family member, I would vote “no” on any stranger seeking out the gravesite, even someone with your compassionate and respectful intent.
However, there is no universal response to loss, and this victim’s family might feel and respond differently. Reach out to the person who organized the fundraiser, and prepare yourself to accept whatever answer comes your way. I strongly urge you to see a counselor specializing in trauma in order to continue to process the longer-term effect of witnessing this terrible event.
Dear Amy: “Looking” was frustrated by dating apps. I found it interesting that you didn’t suggest seeking the help of a matchmaker. I am in the process of getting certified; professional human matchmakers can help people the apps leave behind. I’ve been happily married to my loving husband for almost 31 years. We met in a karaoke bar. Ha!
Love Love: This would make a great Broadway musical.
© 2024 by Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency.
Washington
Amazing Washington: Young man leaves Afghanistan to start tutoring program in Washington
EDMONDS, Wash. — Ahmad Hilal Abid arrived in Seattle as a teenager, leaving Afghanistan with his family in search of opportunity and safety.
Looking back, he admits that adjusting to life in the United States was not easy.
I immigrated from Afghanistan to Seattle directly back in 2018 when I was just fifteen years old,” Abid said. “Life, in the beginning, was very challenging: coming as a teenager to America, navigating a new culture, a new place.
He said he struggled to learn English.
“I found myself as a guy who could not speak any English,” Abid continued. “A person who was bullied because of my English skills.”
An image of students participating in the non-profit called House of Wisdom in Seattle, Washington. (KOMO News)
Abid remembers multiple instances of his broken English being met with laughter and ridicule. Despite those challenges, Abid said he found freedom in his new home.
“I can practice my faith. I can freely express myself. I can stand by my word, you know?” Abid said. “I can do certain things that I could never do in my past country.”
While he was finding joy in his newfound freedom, Abid had some trouble finding his place. Rather than focus on fitting in, he decided to create opportunities for others who shared similar experiences.
A lot of youngsters around my age want to fit in. But me, I want to create a space for me and my community.” He added, “If we study our history, immigrants from all over the world have come here to call it home. I am an American, but with my own identity, with my own values, so I could never try to fit in.
During the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, Abid launched a non-profit called House of Wisdom, which, according to its website, is a program that offers “free, inclusive academic support and culturally responsive mentorship to underserved youth.”
Abid started the non-profit with a small group of students inside his family’s garage. He says he borrowed three-hundred dollars from his dad to purchase tables and chairs. It didn’t take long for twenty students to turn to Abid’s new program for help with math and English homework. Abid says he connects deeply with the students.
An image of students participating in the non-profit called House of Wisdom in Seattle, Washington. (KOMO News)
“We share tutoring, math, English, and helping them with their homework, navigating a life in a new country,” Abid said, sharing that he sees himself in every student who comes into the program.
House of Wisdom has since expanded beyond its original location. It is now holding sessions in four different sites and serves more than 200 students.
“This is a non-profit with over 70 mentors coming and getting paid opportunities.”
In addition to tutoring, the program emphasizes mentorship and emotional support, with a focus on serving refugees, immigrants, and young women whose access to education may have been limited.
“So here, helping empower women and girls, empowering the underserved, empowering refugees and immigrants, means that we are empowering while others are suffering from a lack of education,” said Abid.
Abid said the mission is personal and rooted in his own values.
An image of students participating in the non-profit called House of Wisdom in Seattle, Washington. (KOMO News)
“Helping others is part of my identity, and that’s why I am living. That’s why I wake up in the morning.”
He encourages others to give their time to strengthen their communities.
“If you’re touching someone’s life by volunteering, this is what makes a difference in our community. Even one or two hours, having that will also inspire you to do more in your community.” Reflecting on his journey, he said, “My family was very worried about me. ‘What would he do in America?’ And now, I am an entrepreneur. I am creating opportunities for students who were born and raised in America. That’s where this immigrant came from. I want to say, immigrants: we don’t take jobs, we create jobs.”
Washington
Gov. Ferguson seeking federal funding for flood damages across Washington state
WASHINGTON STATE — Washington Gov. Bob Ferguson is seeking federal funding to repair and improve damaged infrastructure caused by an atmospheric river event across Washington state in December 2025. The total damage assessment is $182.3 million.
Washington state is applying for the Public Assistance Program, which provides up to 75% reimbursement from the federal government for qualifying repairs. Gov. Ferguson requested around $21 million and submitted Washington state’s request for a disaster declaration back on Jan. 21.
“This is separate than the request we made several weeks ago, that was to assist individuals with their homes,” Ferguson said. “This is for infrastructure, this particular request.”
Gov. Ferguson says that the December flooding was historic and that repairs for the damages caused would require an unprecedented amount of money.
“In terms of damage assessments that we are submitting to FEMA, this historic flooding resulted in, we believe, the largest dollar amount of public infrastructure damage in Washington state in more than four decades, and that’s counting for inflation,” Ferguson said.
Ferguson is requesting up to $173 million from the Trump administration to aid with the preliminary damage amount of $182.3 million, which Ferguson says is subject to change.
“One thing I want to emphasize and underscore is this is a preliminary number,” Ferguson said. “We have to meet a certain deadline for FEMA, so this number will increase as time goes on.”
The state is also applying for the Hazard Mitigation Grant Program, which would help fund projects to prepare for future disasters.
Gov. Ferguson says that the state is also working with the Federal Highway Administration to get funding for repairs to highways in the state.
Washington
Detroit man sentenced to prison in two assault cases in Washington D.C.
A Detroit man charged in connection with two assaults last year in Washington, D.C. has been sentenced to 60 months in prison with 12 months suspended, according to the U.S. Attorney’s Office.
Jerome Parker, 49, pleaded guilty in October 2025 to one count of aggravated assault, one count of assault with significant bodily injury and one count of second-degree theft. After completing his sentence, Parker will be placed on three years’ probation.
“Today we took another criminal, victimizing the most vulnerable members of our community, off the streets,” said U.S. Attorney Jeanine Ferris Pirro. “This violence against our community committed by Parker, or any criminals like him, against the elderly or innocent will never again be tolerated in the District.”
Federal prosecutors say Parker attacked two people on Aug. 18-19, 2025.
Officials say the first victim, a 66-year-old man, was leaving a Metrobus when Parker punched the man in the face, causing the victim to fall to the ground. Parker then took the man’s wallet, ID, cards and cash. The victim had to undergo surgery to fix a fracture and had his jaw wired shut for several months, according to prosecutors.
Officials say Parker and the victim did not know each other.
Prosecutors say that on the following day, Parker was involved in a verbal altercation with an acquaintance and followed the person to an apartment building, where he punched the second victim, kicking him multiple times. Prosecutors say the second victim suffered a minor brain bleed and was unconscious for over five minutes until responding officers arrived.
Parker was arrested a month later, on Sept. 25.
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