Dear Miss Manners: A friend gave me a gift that had obviously been recycled, possibly more than once. When I opened it, a card fell out — dated 1995. The item itself was in good shape, unused, but the box was showing a little wear. Internet research revealed that this item has not been manufactured in at least 10 years.
Washington
Advice | Miss Manners: Regifting an obvious regift
Naturally, I thanked her profusely for the gift. It was expensive, but not something I can use. I thought of donating it, but my friend sometimes shops at thrift stores and might see it on the shelf there (and she may have purchased it there to begin with). I am thinking of giving it to another friend who can use it and who does not know the friend who gave it to me.
Should I mention the gift’s history as an amusing anecdote, or say that I had received a nice gift I can’t use? Or should I just not say anything about its provenance?
As she is always in favor of a good story, Miss Manners suggests including that when you regift the item. This, of course, has the added benefit of allowing you to include the card and the box, as well as minimizing the risk of getting caught, even if the card is passionately addressed to someone neither of you has ever met.
Dear Miss Manners: Is it proper to play cards at a restaurant after finishing your meal? My husband and I had lunch at a local establishment, and seated at the table next to us were four women playing cards and drinking iced tea refills. They were there when we arrived and still there when we left.
With some exceptions, commercial establishments generally discourage such behavior in the interest of staying in business. Are you thinking of starting a tournament or a restaurant?
Dear Miss Manners: I work in an informal environment (academia) where I receive a set salary. It is the kind of job where the amount of work fluctuates and sometimes requires me to work more than eight hours in a day. Because of the nature of my workplace, there is no set 9-5 rule; nevertheless, some colleagues appear to think it’s necessary to follow that schedule.
I have never understood this. If I have a meeting at 9 a.m., of course I will do my best to arrive at work before that. If I am running even five minutes late, I will notify the other meeting attendees and apologize. For all other workdays, I feel I should be able to arrive later and leave earlier, as long as my work is not suffering. But I still feel guilty when I do so.
For what it’s worth, my boss primarily judges employees based on performance and not the number of hours put in on any given day. Am I committing a workplace faux pas by straying from convention?
It is presumably the boss’s opinion that matters, not that of your co-workers, colleagues — or whatever new term the university may have invented to obscure that professional manners, not social ones, apply. If you worry that there might be misunderstandings later, you could ask for a written attendance policy — and hope that this will not jar your boss into changing it now.
New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday through Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You can send questions to Miss Manners at her website, missmanners.com. You can also follow her @RealMissManners.
Washington
Trial for murder at Catholic University stalls after detective charged with misconduct
The murder trial of a man accused of killing a teacher on the campus of Catholic University in 2023 was supposed to start Wednesday. But that case has been thrown into turmoil after defense attorneys say the lead D.C. police detective was removed from the case and charged with misconduct.
New court documents reveal the detective is accused of having sex on the job and recording it on a police-issued cellphone.
In a hearing one of the supervisors admitted was highly unusual, the judge and the defense attorneys wanted to know why the U.S. Attorney’s office did not disclose until last week that the lead detective in the murder of 25-year old Maxwell Emerson was removed from the case just weeks after an arrest was made and placed under investigation for alleged misconduct.
In a motion filed Tuesday, the defense said, in part “The government withheld evidence that its lead detective, Detective Thomas Roy, had engaged in conduct so concerning that the Metropolitan Police Department proposed his termination, removed him as a lead detective, transferred him out of the homicide section and instituted a last chance agreement”.
The defense attorneys wrote in their motion that Roy neglected his duties in Aug. 2022 “when he engaged in sexual intercourse with another homicide detective in his unit at her home while on duty and recorded two videos of their sexual encounter on an MPD issued cell phone.”
According to the motion filed by the defense, the detective was not placed under investigation until after Jaime Macedo was charged with the murder that occurred on catholic university campus back in July 2023.
News4 reported extensively on the case at the time. Police say Macedo is accused of following Emerson from the Brookland metro station on the morning of July 5. Surveillance video released by police show Emerson at one point walking with his hands raised in the air before the two ended up in a park near Alumni Lane.
Police say the two got into a struggle before Macedo is accused of shooting Emerson one time in the abdomen.
Emerson was a Kentucky teacher visiting D.C. for a conference at the Library of Congress Teacher Institute.
In the motion filed by the defense, in which they argue the indictment should be dismissed, the attorneys cite an internal affairs document that says, “Detective Roy’s misconduct had cast a shadow over his credibility and reputation as a law enforcement officer.”
It’s unclear when this case may go to trial. The judge still must rule on the motion by the defense.
D.C. police say Roy was disciplined and lost his job in homicide but is still employed as a detective.
Washington
FAA mandates radar separation for helicopters and planes after deadly DC midair collision
Air traffic controllers will use radar, not just visual checks, to ensure that helicopters maintain a safe distance from arriving and departing airplanes in the wake of last year’s fatal midair collision near Washington, D.C., federal officials announced Wednesday.
The Federal Aviation Administration said recent near-misses show that previous guidelines for pilots to maintain visual separation between helicopters and airplanes have failed to provide adequate protection around busy airports.
Under the new guidelines, air traffic controllers must use radar to keep helicopters and airplanes apart by specific lateral or vertical distances. The new requirement applies to more than 150 of the nation’s busiest airports, extending a restriction already put in place at Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport.
“Today, we are proactively mitigating risks before they affect the traveling public,” FAA Administrator Bryan Bedford said in a news release. “Following the mid-air collision near Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport (DCA), we looked at similar operations across the national airspace. We identified an overreliance on pilot ‘see and avoid’ operations that contribute to safety events involving helicopters and airplanes.”
Officials also specifically mentioned a Feb. 27 near-miss in which a police helicopter had to turn to avoid an American Airlines flight that was landing at San Antonio International Airport in Texas. A similar close call happened on March 2, when a helicopter had to turn away from a small aircraft that had been cleared to arrive at California’s Hollywood Burbank Airport, officials said.
The January 2025 collision between an American Airlines jet and an Army Black Hawk helicopter killed 67 people, making it the deadliest plane crash on U.S. soil since 2001. Among other factors contributing to the crash, investigators said controllers in the Reagan tower overly relied on asking pilots to spot aircraft and maintain visual separation.
The night of the crash, the controller approved the Black Hawk’s request to do that twice. However, investigators say the helicopter pilots likely never spotted the American Airlines plane as the jet circled to land on the little-used secondary runway.
Many of the people who died were young figure skaters and their parents and coaches who had just attended a development camp in Wichita, Kansas, after the U.S. Figure Skating Championships were held there.
Washington
Washington faces Detroit on 6-game home skid
Detroit Pistons (49-19, first in the Eastern Conference) vs. Washington Wizards (16-52, 14th in the Eastern Conference)
Washington; Thursday, 7 p.m. EDT
BOTTOM LINE: Washington takes on Detroit looking to end its six-game home losing streak.
The Wizards are 11-32 against Eastern Conference opponents. Washington allows 123.8 points to opponents and has been outscored by 11.0 points per game.
The Pistons are 33-11 in conference games. Detroit ranks seventh in the Eastern Conference with 27.0 assists per game led by Cade Cunningham averaging 9.9.
The Wizards’ 13.0 made 3-pointers per game this season are only 0.3 more made shots on average than the 12.7 per game the Pistons give up. The Pistons average 11.0 made 3-pointers per game this season, 2.7 fewer made shots on average than the 13.7 per game the Wizards give up.
The teams meet for the fourth time this season. In the last matchup on March 17 the Pistons won 130-117 led by 36 points from Jalen Duren, while Bub Carrington scored 30 points for the Wizards.
TOP PERFORMERS: Carrington is averaging 10 points and 4.5 assists for the Wizards. Tre Johnson is averaging 1.9 made 3-pointers over the last 10 games.
Duren is averaging 19 points and 10.6 rebounds for the Pistons. Cunningham is averaging 17.6 points and 3.8 rebounds while shooting 46.8% over the past 10 games.
LAST 10 GAMES: Wizards: 0-10, averaging 117.6 points, 38.1 rebounds, 23.8 assists, 6.8 steals and 4.6 blocks per game while shooting 48.2% from the field. Their opponents have averaged 129.5 points per game.
Pistons: 5-5, averaging 116.9 points, 44.1 rebounds, 28.3 assists, 9.4 steals and 6.0 blocks per game while shooting 48.7% from the field. Their opponents have averaged 110.9 points.
INJURIES: Wizards: Anthony Davis: out (finger), Cam Whitmore: out for season (shoulder), Alex Sarr: day to day (hamstring), Leaky Black: day to day (ankle), Kyshawn George: out (elbow), D’Angelo Russell: day to day (not injury related), Trae Young: day to day (quad), Bilal Coulibaly: day to day (heel).
Pistons: Cade Cunningham: day to day (back), Isaiah Stewart: out (calf).
___
The Associated Press created this story using technology provided by Data Skrive and data from Sportradar.
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