We asked readers to channel their inner Carolyn Hax and answer this question. Some of the best responses are below.
Washington
Advice | Dad insists on lectures that drive teens away. Hax readers give advice.
He gets mad and says he’s obligated as a parent to provide “guidance,” and if the kids need to get mad at him in order to be “motivated,” then he’s fine with that. I only give advice to the kids when asked or when they are thinking of doing something that has serious negative consequences — hence they tend to talk to me about their lives.
I’ve told my husband he’s pushing the kids away, but he justifies it as good parenting. I’m so tired of this cycle. What can I do?
Tired Parent: There isn’t a lot you can do. But step one is to sit your husband down at a happy time and tell him you have something important to discuss. Ask him to stretch himself to listen with an open mind. Then spell out the cycle as simply as you did in your letter. Ask him to reflect on what you’ve said, if there is any part he can relate to. If he is open to the idea of accepting your influence, you could come up with a lighthearted code word (Polonius!) to let him know he’s doing it.
That’s it. You’re done. One of the axioms of life is that we can’t control other people. He may continue to offer copious guidance and the kids may avoid him. It’s frustrating, but families survive worse. And to moderate your frustration, you can always remind yourself that your teens are all likely tolerating annoying and predictable behaviors from you, too!
Tired Parent: You can accept that you can’t change him and focus on your own relationship with your kids. Stop worrying about his relationship with them. Make up your mind to let the consequences fall where they may. Although you may be affected by those consequences, they are between him and the kids. Once you accept that, you can step back, take a breather and stop worrying.
That’s what your kids need from you — someone who’s focused on them, not on what your husband should or shouldn’t do. You probably aren’t doing your kids any favors by letting your husband’s behavior upset you.
Tired Parent: When my kids were teens, my husband began a group text thread with them he called Life Lessons. They were general guidance texts. They included things like the lesson of compound interest, or why never to lie, or how to speak up for yourself, together with a quick related story from his life. He sent one every few weeks. Occasionally he got a response from them, usually just a “thumbs up,” but he never asked for or expected one.
Years later, the kids told us how much they loved that thread, that they read every single text (maybe not right away), often shared the advice with friends, and still reread it now that they are adults. I believe they especially loved the personal stories he’d attach to them. He still does it, although much less frequently.
Tired Parent: Parents tend to be overbearing when they’re scared of something. I know I am! It’s tempting to go into long explanations about something, but I’ve realized that’s more about making myself feel better that I’ve explained something to them versus knowing what the actual best way is to share information with them.
So one thing to ask your husband: What is he scared of? Or worried about? As a parent, most of the job is worrying. We have to figure out if what we’re doing to address these fears is for us, or for our kids. And addressing your husband’s fears can help him be less overbearing — and you’ll learn something helpful, too!
— Parent/Therapist in CO
Tired Parent: You can try to keep a good relationship between father and kids by encouraging family events that don’t involve lectures. All of you could go to a professional sporting event, a rock concert or the movies — anywhere talking is virtually impossible. Get your kids involved in planning and ask them what they would like to do with their dad. Then, when they are past the lecture stage, your kids will also have some happy memories with their dad.
Every week, we ask readers to answer a question submitted to Carolyn Hax’s live chat or email. Read last week’s installment here. New questions are typically posted on Thursdays, with a Monday deadline for submissions. Responses are anonymous unless you choose to identify yourself and are edited for length and clarity.
DE Dawuane Smoot, LB Foyesade Oluokun, TE Brenton Strange, S Eric Murray, and S Antonio Johnson speak with the media after practice on Thursday ahead of the Wild Card Matchup vs. Bills.
0:00 – 2:28 – DE Dawuane Smoot
2:29 – 6:24 – LB Foyesade Oluokun
6:25 – 9:25 – TE Brenton Strange
9:26 – 11:32 – S Eric Murray
11:33 – 13:46 – S Antonio Johnson
DUBAI, Jan 11 (Reuters) – Iran warned President Donald Trump on Sunday that any U.S. attack would lead to Tehran striking back against Israel and regional U.S. military bases as “legitimate targets”, Parliament Speaker Mohammad Baqer Qalibaf told parliament.
Israel is on high alert for the possibility of a U.S. intervention to support a nationwide protest movement in Iran, sources said.
Sign up here.
Reporting by Dubai Newsroom; Editing by William Mallard
Our Standards: The Thomson Reuters Trust Principles.
Washington
Washington National Opera cuts ties with the Kennedy Center after longstanding partnership | CNN Politics
The Washington National Opera on Friday announced it is parting ways with the Kennedy Center after more than a decade with the arts institution.
“Today, the Washington National Opera announced its decision to seek an amicable early termination of its affiliation agreement with the Kennedy Center and resume operations as a fully independent nonprofit entity,” the opera said in a statement.
The decoupling marks another high-profile withdrawal since President Donald Trump and his newly installed board of trustees instituted broad thematic and cosmetic changes to the building, including renaming the facility “The Donald J. Trump and The John F. Kennedy Memorial Center for the Performing Arts.”
The opera said it plans to “reduce its spring season and relocate performances to new venues.”
A source familiar with the dynamic told CNN the decision to part ways was made by the opera’s board and its leadership, and that the decision was not mutual.
A spokesperson for the Kennedy Center said in a statement, “After careful consideration, we have made the difficult decision to part ways with the WNO due to a financially challenging relationship. We believe this represents the best path forward for both organizations and enables us to make responsible choices that support the financial stability and long-term future of the Trump Kennedy Center.”
Kennedy Center president Richard Grenell, who was appointed by Trump’s hand-picked board, said on X, “Having an exclusive relationship has been extremely expensive and limiting in choice and variety.”
Grenell added, “Having an exclusive Opera was just not financially smart. And our patrons clearly wanted a refresh.”
Since taking the reins at the center, Grenell has cut existing staff, hired political allies and mandated a “break-even policy” for every performance.
The opera said the new policy was a factor in its decision to leave the center.
“The Center’s new business model requires productions to be fully funded in advance—a requirement incompatible with opera operations,” the opera said.
Francesca Zambello, the opera’s artistic director, said she is “deeply saddened to leave The Kennedy Center.”
“In the coming years, as we explore new venues and new ways of performing, WNO remains committed to its mission and artistic vision,” she said.
The New York Times first reported the opera’s departure.
Founded in 1956 as the “Opera Society of Washington,” the group has performed across the district, taking permanent residency in the Kennedy Center in 2011.
The performing arts center has been hit with a string of abrupt cancellations from artists in recent weeks including the jazz group The Cookers and New York City-based dance company Doug Varone and Dancers who canceled their performances after Trump’s name was added to the center – a living memorial for assassinated President John F. Kennedy.
The American College Theater Festival voted to suspend its relationship with the Kennedy Center, calling the affiliation “no longer viable” and citing concerns over a misalignment of the group’s values.
American banjo player Béla Fleck withdrew his upcoming performance with the National Symphony Orchestra, saying that performing at the center has become “charged and political.”
The Brentano String Quartet, who canceled their February 1 performance at the Kennedy Center, said they will “regretfully forego performing there.”
CNN has reached out to the Kennedy Center on the additional cancellations.
The opera said, “The Board and management of the company wish the Center well in its own future endeavors.”
CNN’s Betsy Klein and Nicky Robertson contributed to this report.
Dallas, TX3 minutes ago
Parents fear closing of Good Street Learning Center as leaders push to stay open
Miami, FL9 minutes ago
College football player transferred from Miami to Indiana before national championship
Boston, MA15 minutes ago
When will the big nor’easters return? Boston in midst of second-longest streak without hefty snowfalls. – The Boston Globe
Denver, CO21 minutes ago
Broncos healthy compared to Bills
Seattle, WA27 minutes ago
UPDATE: Another incident reported near ‘the curve’ toward southwest end of westbound West Seattle Bridge
Florida1 year ago
Florida High School Football Rankings: Top 25 teams – Oct. 21
Connecticut2 years ago
Cleary's 21 help Le Moyne down Central Connecticut State 69-64 in OT
Oregon2 years ago
How old is Bo Nix? What to know about Oregon quarterback ahead of 2024 NFL Draft
Virginia1 year ago
99th annual Pony Swim held in Virginia
Education2 years ago
Video: ‘It Didn’t Have to Happen This Way:’ U.Va. Faculty Call for Review of Police Response to Protests
Politics8 hours ago
San Antonio ends its abortion travel fund after new state law, legal action
World9 hours ago
UN top court set to open Myanmar Rohingya genocide case
News10 hours ago
Arson engulfs Mississippi synagogue, a congregation once bombed by Ku Klux Klan
Politics20 hours ago
Federal judge blocks Trump administration from enforcing mail-in voting rules in executive order
World21 hours ago
Four killed, 20 injured in overnight Russian strikes across Ukraine
-
Detroit, MI1 week ago2 hospitalized after shooting on Lodge Freeway in Detroit
-
Technology6 days agoPower bank feature creep is out of control
-
Dallas, TX4 days agoAnti-ICE protest outside Dallas City Hall follows deadly shooting in Minneapolis
-
Delaware3 days agoMERR responds to dead humpback whale washed up near Bethany Beach
-
Dallas, TX1 week agoDefensive coordinator candidates who could improve Cowboys’ brutal secondary in 2026
-
Iowa6 days agoPat McAfee praises Audi Crooks, plays hype song for Iowa State star
-
Montana2 days agoService door of Crans-Montana bar where 40 died in fire was locked from inside, owner says
-
Health1 week agoViral New Year reset routine is helping people adopt healthier habits