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Advice | Dad insists on lectures that drive teens away. Hax readers give advice.

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Advice | Dad insists on lectures that drive teens away. Hax readers give advice.


We asked readers to channel their inner Carolyn Hax and answer this question. Some of the best responses are below.

Dear Carolyn: My husband and I have two teens. They’re great kids with good heads on their shoulders (so far!). My husband has taken to giving them long-winded unsolicited advice, and the kids have gone from politely listening to glazing over to now directly telling him they aren’t looking for advice to getting mad when he persists to avoiding him completely.

He gets mad and says he’s obligated as a parent to provide “guidance,” and if the kids need to get mad at him in order to be “motivated,” then he’s fine with that. I only give advice to the kids when asked or when they are thinking of doing something that has serious negative consequences — hence they tend to talk to me about their lives.

I’ve told my husband he’s pushing the kids away, but he justifies it as good parenting. I’m so tired of this cycle. What can I do?

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Tired Parent: There isn’t a lot you can do. But step one is to sit your husband down at a happy time and tell him you have something important to discuss. Ask him to stretch himself to listen with an open mind. Then spell out the cycle as simply as you did in your letter. Ask him to reflect on what you’ve said, if there is any part he can relate to. If he is open to the idea of accepting your influence, you could come up with a lighthearted code word (Polonius!) to let him know he’s doing it.

That’s it. You’re done. One of the axioms of life is that we can’t control other people. He may continue to offer copious guidance and the kids may avoid him. It’s frustrating, but families survive worse. And to moderate your frustration, you can always remind yourself that your teens are all likely tolerating annoying and predictable behaviors from you, too!

Tired Parent: You can accept that you can’t change him and focus on your own relationship with your kids. Stop worrying about his relationship with them. Make up your mind to let the consequences fall where they may. Although you may be affected by those consequences, they are between him and the kids. Once you accept that, you can step back, take a breather and stop worrying.

That’s what your kids need from you — someone who’s focused on them, not on what your husband should or shouldn’t do. You probably aren’t doing your kids any favors by letting your husband’s behavior upset you.

Tired Parent: When my kids were teens, my husband began a group text thread with them he called Life Lessons. They were general guidance texts. They included things like the lesson of compound interest, or why never to lie, or how to speak up for yourself, together with a quick related story from his life. He sent one every few weeks. Occasionally he got a response from them, usually just a “thumbs up,” but he never asked for or expected one.

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Years later, the kids told us how much they loved that thread, that they read every single text (maybe not right away), often shared the advice with friends, and still reread it now that they are adults. I believe they especially loved the personal stories he’d attach to them. He still does it, although much less frequently.

Tired Parent: Parents tend to be overbearing when they’re scared of something. I know I am! It’s tempting to go into long explanations about something, but I’ve realized that’s more about making myself feel better that I’ve explained something to them versus knowing what the actual best way is to share information with them.

So one thing to ask your husband: What is he scared of? Or worried about? As a parent, most of the job is worrying. We have to figure out if what we’re doing to address these fears is for us, or for our kids. And addressing your husband’s fears can help him be less overbearing — and you’ll learn something helpful, too!

— Parent/Therapist in CO

Tired Parent: You can try to keep a good relationship between father and kids by encouraging family events that don’t involve lectures. All of you could go to a professional sporting event, a rock concert or the movies — anywhere talking is virtually impossible. Get your kids involved in planning and ask them what they would like to do with their dad. Then, when they are past the lecture stage, your kids will also have some happy memories with their dad.

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Every week, we ask readers to answer a question submitted to Carolyn Hax’s live chat or email. Read last week’s installment here. New questions are typically posted on Thursdays, with a Monday deadline for submissions. Responses are anonymous unless you choose to identify yourself and are edited for length and clarity.



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Commanders vs. Eagles | How to watch, listen and live stream

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Commanders vs. Eagles | How to watch, listen and live stream


Mariota, who is dealing with a cut on his throwing hand and a quad injury, was considered doubtful to play in Week 18, Quinn said earlier in the week, and has not practiced since sustaining his injuries. Josh Johnson is set to make his second start to close out the Commanders’ season.



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Cowboys 2025 rookie report: Promise and problems against Washington

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Cowboys 2025 rookie report: Promise and problems against Washington


The Dallas Cowboys managed to scrape a win on Christmas Day against the Washington Commanders in a game that got close, closer than what some fans would have preferred. But how did the Cowboys rookie class perform during the divisional victory? Let’s take a look.

(Game stats- Snaps: 92, Pass Blocks: 49, Pressures: 1, Sacks: 2, Penalties: 1)

Booker turned in another heavy-workload performance against Washington on Christmas Day, playing all 92 offensive snaps and earning a 74.6 overall grade, one of the better marks on the Cowboys’ offense in the 30–23 win. Dallas leaned hard on the interior run game, piling up 211 rushing yards and repeatedly gashing the middle of the Commanders’ front. Booker was a big part of those double teams and combo blocks with Cooper Beebe, helping Malik Davis and Javonte Williams stay on schedule and letting Brian Schottenheimer live in fourth-and-short territory.

It wasn’t a clean day in protection for the unit as a whole. Dak Prescott was sacked six times and hit repeatedly, with rookie phenom Jer’Zhan Newton racking up three sacks and five QB hits as Washington generated 19 total pressures. Interior pressure was prominent in postgame breakdowns, so Booker clearly had some rough snaps dealing with Newton’s quickness and power on games and stunts, even if not every sack can be laid at his feet.

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One blemish on his night was an early bad penalty flagged on Booker on the opening drive, which, paired with a sack, put the offense behind the chains before they worked their way back into scoring range. To his credit, the moment didn’t snowball. He settled in, and as the game wore on his physicality in the run game helped Dallas salt away clock on multiple long marches in the second half.

(Game stats- Snaps: 39, Total Tackles: 2, Pressures: 3, Sacks: 0, TFL: 0)

Ezeiruaku had one of his quietest games of the season against Washington, more solid in assignment than impactful on the stat sheet. He was on the field for just 26 defensive snaps off the edge and registered only one total tackle with zero sacks, zero tackles for loss, and one total pressure. With the Cowboys generating only two sacks and three quarterback hits as a team and still allowing 8.6 yards per play and 138 rushing yards on just 17 carries, this was clearly not a night where the front consistently lived in the Commanders’ backfield.

Through this week, PFF has Ezeiruaku at a 76.4 overall grade with 35 total pressures on 580 snaps, ranking him among the league’s better rookie edge defenders. Pre-game advanced scouting had highlighted his recent 25% pass-rush win rate and 12% pressure rate over the previous month, even though that stretch produced hits rather than sacks. Against Washington, that underlying disruption never really showed up in the box score. He finished the game in a low-impact role while others, notably Jadeveon Clowney and Quinnen Williams, handled the actual finishing on Josh Johnson.

(Game stats- Snaps: 42, Total Tackles: 6, PBU: 1, INT: 0, TD Allowed: 0, RTG Allowed: 109.7)

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Revel’s Christmas Day against Washington was another bumpy outing in what has become a tough rookie year, and it ended in a way that almost certainly pushes his focus to 2026. PFF graded him at 50.1 overall, the third-worst mark on the Cowboys’ defense, with of 43.0 against the run, 33.5 in tackling and 59.4 in coverage. On the coverage side of things, he was targeted six times and allowed four catches for 84 yards, his second straight game giving up 80-plus yards, as Washington repeatedly found space on his side of the field. The tackling issues that have dogged him all season showed up again too, he’s now credited with eight missed tackles (18.6%) on the year, and open-field whiffs in this game turned short gains into bigger plays.

Midway through the second half he took a blow to the head, walked off slowly and did not return. Postgame reports confirmed he’s been placed in the concussion protocol, with the team acknowledging he faces an uphill battle to be cleared for Week 18. With only one game left and nothing to play for in the standings, there’s a good argument for Dallas to shut him down, effectively ending his rookie season so he can recover fully and attack 2026. That might be the wisest move given his backdrop coming off an ACL tear, missing the entire offseason program, camp, preseason and a big chunk of the regular season.

(Game stats- Snaps: 36, Total Tackles: 6 TFL: 0, Sacks: 0)

James finally looked like a real part of the defensive plan against Washington, not just a special-teams body. He played 36 defensive snaps, his heaviest load in weeks, and he responded with six total tackles, tied among Dallas’ leaders on the night. He didn’t register a sack, tackle for loss, or any takeaways, and he stayed out of the penalty column, so his stat line is all about volume rather than splash. The Commanders ran only 41 offensive plays but still churned out 138 rushing yards thanks in large part to Jacory Croskey-Merritt’s 72-yard touchdown. James spent most of the evening in clean-up mode by fitting inside runs, rallying to Johnson’s checkdowns and helping get bodies on the ground after chunk gains rather than creating those big negative plays himself.

It’s fair to be harsh on the linebacker group as a whole, especially Kenneth Murray, and calling the heavy dose of Murray and James ugly against the run is also a fair criticism as Washington found creases between the tackles. On film, it’s a mixed bag for James, he was active and around the ball, but there were snaps where he got caught in traffic or arrived a beat late on cutbacks, contributing to a run defense that gave up far too much on a low play count. At the same time, this game underlined why Dallas has been nudging his role upward as he handled a starter-level snap share without blowing assignments, and his six stops push his season totals into genuine starter territory.

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The best way to call James’ game is it was a busy but imperfect outing. James was heavily involved, did enough to look like a viable long-term piece, but he was also part of a front seven that made Washington’s ground game look more efficient than it should have.

(Game stats- Snaps: 18, Total Tackles: 1

*Snap count are all special team snaps*

Clark’s Christmas Day against Washington was another quiet but functional special-teams outing. He didn’t log any defensive snaps, with his entire workload coming in the kicking game as a core coverage and return-unit player. On those snaps he made one tackle and didn’t factor into any of the big swings. For a depth safety in his role, that kind of you didn’t notice him performance is basically neutral. He did his assignment work on special teams, avoided hurting the Cowboys in a game where field position and explosive runs were already a problem, but didn’t provide the kind of momentum-changing play that would jump off the tape going into 2026.

(Game stats- Snaps: 15, Total Tackles: 0)

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*Snap count include special team snaps*

Bridges played almost entirely on special teams, with just a tiny glimpse of him on defense. He logged the bulk of his work on the kicking units, running lanes, taking on blocks and doing the dirty work that doesn’t show up much in the box score but matters for field position and consistency. On defense he saw only two snaps, essentially a cameo as an emergency outside corner rather than a true part of the game plan, and he didn’t figure in any major targets or tackles on those plays. Bridges handled his special-teams role and gave Dallas a reliable back-end option without ever having the kind of exposure that would define the game one way or the other.



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Loved ones remember fallen Washington State Trooper born in Hawaii

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Loved ones remember fallen Washington State Trooper born in Hawaii


TACOMA, Wash. (HawaiiNewsNow) – Colleagues and loved ones gathered to honor the life and service of Mililani High School graduate Tara-Marysa Guting, 29, who died in the line of duty as a trooper in Washington State.

Tara-Marysa’s older sister, Shannen Tanaka, spoke at the funeral.

“Tara, although our heart aches with your absence, we know you did not leave us behind. You remain bound to us by love that does not end. You remain just beyond our sight until the day we are able to be together again. We love you,” Tanaka said.

She delivered an emotional eulogy as she stood at the podium with siblings Troy and Ariana Hirata at Saturday’s memorial service.

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“I don’t know how familiar you all are with the movie Lilo and Stitch, but there’s a quote that says Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind. It was a sentiment that Tara lived by,” her sister said. “Ohana, in its deepest sense, is unconditional love, support and inclusion. It reaches beyond blood.”

The Washington State Patrol Trooper was struck and killed while responding to a crash in Tacoma.

The 2014 Mililani graduate leaves behind her husband Tim, who serves as a Deputy State Fire Marshal at the Washington State Patrol Fire Training Academy.

Together they had four pets.

Tara-Marysa was one of many first responders in her family, including her brother-in-law Devin Tanaka.

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DEVIN TANAKA, TARA’S BROTHER IN LAW>

“Tara’s passing is a devastating loss to a family who knows all too well both the rewards and risk of public service,” Devin Tanaka said. “We will never forget Tara, nor the 33 heroes that died members serving the State of Washington State Patrol.”

Friends and coworkers say Tara-Marysa left an impact on everyone she met.

“Tara you were my safe place, you made the world feel softer, more funny and exceedingly more manageable just by being in it, and even though I don’t know how to exist in a world where I can’t sit next to you on that couch again, I do know this, your love did not leave with you,” said Lily Guerrero, Tara-Marysa’s best friend.

One of her co-workers said, “It felt like every other day she was bringing some sort of gift or Hawaiian snack to literally every person in the building where we worked just to spread a little bit of joy.”

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The funeral ended with a solemn salute for Guting.

She was the 34th person to die in the line of duty in the 105-year history of the Washington State Patrol.



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