Dear Eric: A friend of mine, who is like a sister to me, and her husband just had a baby. The husband seems like a good guy, and while I have always been warm to him, I’ve also had a bad gut feeling about him due to his job as a pilot.
Washington
Advice | Asking Eric: Friend fears pilot’s lifestyle will lead to divorce
It’s a super stressful job with high divorce rates, long times away from home, and ample opportunities to cheat (quite frankly, for both of them). The relationship was certainly easier when she was traveling with him on some of his trips, but a baby is naturally going to change that aspect. They were never huge on having kids, so it seems like a baby is almost a desperate attempt to save a marriage.
I’ve always felt in the back of my mind that the marriage is destined to end in divorce and it’s almost like watching a slow car crash developing. I could compartmentalize her handling divorce as long as she was childless. Obviously, the result would be more catastrophic now that the baby is in the picture.
Every day, I pray and hope that my gut is wrong and that this marriage lasts, but I am also worrying about preparing for the worst, which is to comfort my friend and her baby through the hurt of divorce.
Is praying for my friend’s marriage all I can do at this point? Should I let my friend run her own race? Am I overly prejudiced against pilots?
— Sky High Divorce Rates
Sky High: Is this marriage in trouble or have you let your imagination take off into the stratosphere? What we have to go on: a gut feeling and perhaps one too many viewings of the Leonardo DiCaprio movie “Catch Me If You Can.” What we don’t have: information from your close friend that would indicate there’s turbulence in this marriage.
I’m curious what makes you think their new baby is a desperate attempt to save the marriage rather than a family planning choice that they made. I think you’ve let yourself get pretty far down the runway and a return to the gate is in order.
While there are some online sources that list a high rate of divorce for airline pilots, figures from the U.S. Census Bureau’s American Community Survey 5-Year Data (2009-2022) put the percentage of pilots who have ever divorced at 30, which is in line with the national average. But numbers reflect the story of the past and present, they don’t necessarily dictate the future. There are plenty of professions with high stress and frequent travel, and people stay married in them all the time.
Test your thinking here. Your anxiety appears to be coming from a well-intentioned place, but ask yourself how much of this is actually happening in your friend’s marriage and how much is coming from thin air.
By all appearances, this is an arrangement that works well for your friend and her husband. Assume the best until you hear otherwise. Stay grounded.
Dear Eric: Eight years ago our daughter was married to an absolutely wonderful guy whom we love like a son. Early on in the wedding planning, her soon-to-be father-in-law promised a small sum toward the wedding, which I didn’t expect but thanked him for. We never received it.
My son-in-law’s parents are quite well-to-do so it was not due to an economic shortfall. I’ve been holding a grudge ever since, although my wife has advised me to forget it.
Recently, our daughter gave birth to a son and we immediately offered to take care of expenses toward the circumcision ceremony. The mother-in-law offered to bake! They arrived at the ceremony and stood by as we all set up for the party. They watched as we broke everything down. As we were loading all the gifts and supplies in the car in the pouring rain, the father-in-law handed me a very small gift bag that we forgot and said, “I looked for the smallest thing to help you out!”
I was livid! Frankly, I was ready to spend the night in jail! Am I wrong in my feelings?
In-Law: This guy sounds like a real piece of work. It’s one thing to have different ideas about generosity and labor, as it seems your two families do. (Maybe the baking felt equivalent to them, which is fair.) But it’s another thing to rub it in.
He could have a weird sense of humor or he could relish pushing your buttons. What can we do when someone pushes our buttons? Disable the control panel.
Avoid him when you can but drop the grudge. It’s just souring your happy family moments, which means he gets you coming and going.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
2024 Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
Washington
Washington Watch: CCAMPIS grant competition announced – Community College Daily
The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), “on behalf of the Department of Education (ED),” on Monday released a Notice Inviting Grant Applications for the Child Care Access Means Parents in School (CCAMPIS) program. Applications are due by May 29.
Last November, ED announced that it had entered into an interagency agreement with HHS to administer the CCAMPIS program. This is the first CCAMPIS competition conducted under this arrangement.
Approximately $73.5 million will go to institutions of higher education that awarded at least $250,000 in Pell grants to enrolled students in FY 2025. HHS will award about 148 grants, ranging from $150,000 to $1 million.
The terms of the grant competition are not significantly different than prior competitions. As before, there are two absolute grant priorities that every application must address – leveraging non-federal resources and utilizing a sliding-fee scale for low-income parents.
This year’s competition includes only one invitational priority that reflects the Trump administration’s general educational policy. The new priority, entitled “Expanding Education Choice in Early Learning Settings,” encourages applications that “expand access to education choice … including by empowering parents in choosing the early learning setting that best meets their family’s needs.” Flexible childcare programs that include drop-in care and care during nontraditional hours are also encouraged.
One other notable difference from prior competitions is an expanded “Terms and Conditions” section that not only requires compliance with applicable civil rights laws, but also refers to Trump administration Executive Orders and guidance on racial discrimination that clarify “the application of federal antidiscrimination laws to programs or initiatives that may involve discriminatory practices, including those labeled as Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (“DEI”) programs.” This includes any “discriminatory equity ideology [as defined in Executive Order 14190] in violation of a federal antidiscrimination law.”
The exact scope of these terms is unclear because courts have not found many of the practices described in these Executive Orders and guidance documents to be violations of federal law.
Washington
A look at the roots (and routes) of immigration to Washington
The Newsfeed
This week, the team brings you stories about how communities including Filipino immigrants, Sephardic Jews and Somalis arrived in the Pacific Northwest
Each week on The Newsfeed, host Paris Jackson and a team of veteran journalists dive deep into one topic and provide impactful reporting, interviews and community insights from sources you can trust. Each day this week, this post will be updated with a new story from the team.
Group hopes to boost recognition for Seattle’s Filipinotown
By Venice Buhain
The group Filipinotown Seattle hopes to make sure that the legacy of Filipino Americans in Seattle’s Chinatown-International District isn’t forgotten.
One of the group’s current projects is pushing for a Filipinotown placemarking sign in the CID.
“Filipino Americans have had a presence here for over 100 years in Seattle,” said Filipinotown Seattle Executive Director Devin Israel Cabanilla.
He said that the signage is important to remind people that “the International District is not just Chinatown. Japantown. Filipinotown is here as well.”
The group held a poll on what signage might look like and where it might be located. It would be similar to the Chinatown sign on South Jackson Street and Fifth Avenue South, or the Wing Luke Museum
In the early 20th century, the area now known as the CID was a hub full of businesses, entertainment, social groups and housing that served Seattle’s growing immigrant population from Asia and elsewhere. The communities all intermingled throughout the CID.
“This area was a central place for Asian Pacific immigrants simply because of segregation,” Cabanilla said.
Because the Philippines was a U.S. territory from 1898 to 1946, Filipino immigrants were unaffected by laws in the 1920s that restricted immigration from Japan or China. Many Filipinos came to study at the University of Washington or to work in burgeoning industries, like lumber, farming, canneries and factories.
While the physical Filipino presence in terms of buildings and storefronts in the CID dwindled in the later 20th century with redevelopment, Seattle Filipinos and Filipino Americans continued to make impacts locally, regionally and nationally.
“It may not have been in terms of storefronts, but our presence has always existed in terms of politics, culture as well,” Cabanilla said.
The Seattle Department of Transportation said it is aware that the group is working on its signage request, but the Department of Neighborhoods has not yet received a formal request. They are also working to develop a clearer process for this and other similar neighborhood signage proposals.
Filipinotown Seattle said it hopes that the sign helps remind Seattle of the CID’s unique designation as a neighborhood shaped by many immigrants and migrants to Seattle.
“Is it Chinatown? Is it Japantown? Is it Little Saigon? It’s all those things. And I think re cultivating that this is a multicultural district, Filipinotown is helping establish: Yes, it’s more than one thing,” Cabanilla said.

Venice Buhain is a multimedia journalist at Cascade PBS. She previously was the Cascade PBS’s associate news editor and education reporter. Venice has also worked for KING 5, The Seattle Globalist and TVW News.
Venice Buhain is a multimedia journalist at Cascade PBS. She previously was the Cascade PBS’s associate news editor and education reporter. Venice has also worked for KING 5, The Seattle Globalist and TVW News.
Washington
The Church of Jesus Christ has announced its 384th temple
The state of Washington is getting a seventh temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
The Marysville Washington Temple was announced Sunday night during a devotional in the Marysville Washington Stake by Elder Hugo E. Martinez, a General Authority Seventy in the church’s United States West Area Presidency.
“We are pleased to announce the construction of a temple in Marysville, Washington,” the First Presidency said in a statement. “The specific location and timing of the construction will be announced later. This is a reason for all of us to rejoice and express gratitude for such a significant blessing — one that will allow more frequent access to the ordinances, covenants and power that can only be found in the house of the Lord.”
The other temples in Washington are the Columbia River, Moses Lake, Seattle, Spokane, Tacoma and Vancouver temples.
The church has 214 temples in operation. Plans for another 170 temples have been announced; many of those temples are in various stages of planning and construction.
Sunday’s temple announcement follows the new practice of the church’s First Presidency, which determines where temples will be built — and when and how they will be announced.
The First Presidency directed a General Authority Seventy to announce the first temple in Maine at a fireside there in December.
In January, church President Dallin H. Oaks said the Maine announcement set the pattern for future temple announcements.
“The best place to announce a temple is in that temple district,” he told the Deseret News.
The First Presidency will continue to decide where future temples will be built. It then will “assign someone else to make the announcement in the place where the temple will be built,” he said.
This pattern came to him as a strong impression after he assumed leadership of the church in October, following the death of his friend, President Russell M. Nelson.
This came as a strong impression to him shortly after he assumed the leadership of the church, President Oaks said.
The church remains in the midst of an aggressive temple-building era. President Nelson announced 200 new temples from 2018 to 2025. All but one were announced at general conference.
Five dozen temples are now under construction.
President Oaks now has overseen the announcement of two temples, neither at a general conference.
At the October conference he said that “with the large number of temples now in the very earliest phases of planning and construction, it is appropriate that we slow down the announcement of new temples.”
Ten new temples are scheduled to be dedicated in the next six months.
- May 3: Davao Philippines Temple.
- May 3: Lindon Utah Temple.
- May 31: Bacolod Philippines Temple.
- June 7: Yorba Linda California Temple.
- June 7: Willamette Valley Oregon Temple.
- Aug. 16: Belo Horizonte Brazil Temple.
- Aug. 16: Cleveland Ohio Temple.
- Aug. 30: Phnom Penh Cambodia Temple.
- Oct. 11: Miraflores Guatemala City Guatemala Temple.
- Oct. 18: Managua Nicaragua Temple.
Two-thirds of the 170 temples still to be built are outside the United States.
Temples are distinct from the meetinghouses where Latter-day Saints worship Jesus Christ each Sunday. Temples are closed on Sundays, but they open during the week as sanctuaries where church members go to find peace, make covenants with God and perform proxy ordinances for deceased relatives.
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