Seattle, WA
A New York State of Mind
I love the Northwest, but there’s no place like New York City. Recently, I was there for some meetings. As I walked from one neighborhood to another, taking in the intellectual stimulation and people-watching, I understood the importance of adopting a New York State of Mind, at least occasionally. Let me explain.
To begin, all the senses are aroused. Most storefronts confront you with intriguing possibilities. Along my walk to lunch, I passed a children’s bookstore and got lost browsing in it for a while. I noticed the clothing stores — none of them franchises. I didn’t dare go in any, but admired the pricey outfi ts. Every half hour or so, I would pass a small museum. My favorite was the photography museum, where I couldn’t resist buying a poster.
Second, there’s the architecture: a mix of buildings, each one interesting to scan from bottom to top. Some have helicopter pads. The 18th-century buildings have exquisite and ornate detail. Skyscrapers boldly change shape halfway up. I imagined the penthouses at the top, a place only true titans of business can afford.
Third, infectious enthusiasm is evident on every street. High volumes of people walk together energetically, sharing snippets of conversation. Their confidence shows in the way they cross the street. Not one person waits for a “walk” signal. This is a town of extreme chutzpah, where the walkers own the streets.
Fourth, the people themselves are fabulous entertainment. Every race, ethnicity, age, class, and fashion — not to mention the full spectrum of mental health — is represented. My favorite was the stereotypical East Side matron, pushing a dual carriage with trickedout 3-year-old twins. Both had designer haircuts and elegantly tailored suits, ties, and Brooks Brothers shirts. You don’t see this in Seattle.
Fifth, the intensity of places to eat: bagel shops, fruit and vegetable markets, and streets filled with sidewalk tables. Italian, Greek, Japanese, Armenian, French — restaurants not too much bigger than their doorways, each with their own boosters in the neighborhood. The only thing that stopped me from multiple drop-ins was the fact I was heading to a business lunch.
So why am I sharing this with you? Because you should go. As one of the few great cities in the world, New York is reasonably accessible to us. The experience wakes us up. It broadens our perspective and creates ideas. Yes, there are a lot of problems like potholes, poverty, and politics. But New York will make you feel as though you’ve plugged into a socket and new energy is coursing through you. Your mind will go into hyper-speed. You’ll feel expansive, creative, and grateful for the new experiences. All this, just by walking across town.
Q: I love my husband. He is a good man, and we have an OK sex life. So that’s the problem — it’s just an OK sex life. My husband will not do anything fancy, and by that, I mean oral sex. He just doesn’t like it and won’t do it. But I miss it. I was married before him and that was a great part of our sex life, and it made it easier for me to have an orgasm. How do I get him to get over his distaste for something I like so much?
A: My first question to you: Did he ever do oral sex? With anyone else or early in the relationship? If he did, there might be a hygiene issue. Even married people sometimes don’t give each other accurate information on why they do or don’t like a specifi c sexual act. Perhaps you have a bacterial infection or do not get nicely washed up before sex — it could make a difference. So that’s at least worth looking into, even if it could be an awkward discussion.
If that’s not the issue, and if he has never liked oral sex or practiced it with you (or practiced it infrequently), you have then acquiesced to the lack of oral sex in the relationship. Making it a big deal now might genuinely upset him. Thus, you have two choices: Live without something you really miss (because you have already done so for quite awhile) or get the two of you to sexual therapy, specifi cally one that has getaway weeks or weekends where you can get support to reinvent your sex life.
These getaway therapies really can change habits. It’s hard to change them otherwise. But there are some great therapists who do them, and if you write to the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists, they can tell you who is licensed in your area and what avenues of research could help you find the therapeutic situation. Of course, this requires that you and your husband would be enthusiastic about this kind of experience, and you could afford it, so there are a lot of “ifs.” But if oral sex is very important to you, then it’s at least worth considering some therapeutic intervention, which would require meaningful discussion and some guided experimentation.
Q: I need some help. My husband is very impulsive, and I don’t know what to do about it. He thinks I am a grouch and overly cautious, but he has gotten us into financial trouble. Examples: He bought a huge TV without us discussing it. We already had a big TV. He bought round-trip nonrefundable tickets for a trip that I cannot go on because of a business function. He bought our children an iguana that neither of them wanted. What to do?
A: Impulsiveness can be a very hard habit to break. Some literature suggests it can have a genetic component. That said, it can be very dangerous both financially and physically, so while I am going to give you some advice, I think you might want to think about some therapy — perhaps starting as couples therapy (because he thinks it’s your problem and you need a third party to convince him that he has an issue that is not just a result of a difference in your temperaments).
Basically, most very impulsive people are nervous and have recurring anxiety. Buying something expensive or jumping at some chance that might not really be the right opportunity (either at that time, or ever) is soothing to them. It gives a sense of power and, oddly enough, control. Once it rewards a pleasure center in the brain (the same immediate way chocolate or a sexual climax can do), the impulsive moment tugs at the person because they yearn for repeating that “high.”
There is major reluctance to change because the thrill is so rewarding. Even if there is buyer’s remorse or some other negative consequence (like your reactions, for example), the impulsive person doesn’t want to forgo that excitement and momentary rewards.
You can talk about it with him and see if there is some middle ground. For example, when he gets excited about buying something or going somewhere, agree to meet and talk about it, promise to not always be a “downer,” and see if there’s a way to accommodate his desires. He might be willing to do that, and that could help a lot. Or agree that impulse purchases have an expenditure lid, and that you both agree to stick to that limit.
Start there, but if there is no way he can modify his impulsive pattern, then some couples counseling, and ultimately, some individual counseling for him, really needs to happen if anything is to change.
The Seattle Mariners have emerged as one of two front-runners in trade talks with the St. Louis Cardinals for utilityman Brendan Donovan, The Athletic’s Katie Woo reported on Saturday.
Drayer: How Polanco’s departure impacts Seattle Mariners’ offseason
Woo reported a league source said trade discussions between the Mariners and Cardinals have been heating up since the Winter Meetings, and that switch-pitcher Jurrangelo Cijntje and outfielder Lazaro Montes – two of Seattle’s top-seven prospects, per MLB pipeline – are two names St. Louis has inquired about, among others.
The Cardinals will not trade Donovan unless they are “blown away” by the return, and it’s believed they are looking for at least two prospects, per Woo’s reporting.
The San Francisco Giants were the other of the two front-runners Woo named. She also said that both the Mariners and Giants remain engaged in talks with the Arizona Diamondbacks about second baseman Ketel Marte.
Can the M’s give up what Arizona wants for a Ketel Marte trade?
Donovan, who will turn 29 next month, has two years of club control remaining. He’s played every position except catcher during his four-year career, with the majority of his time coming at second base and left field. He would figure to mainly factor in at second base and third base for the Mariners, who have young players like Cole Young, Ben Williamson and Colt Emerson vying for time at those positions.
Donovan was a first-time All-Star in 2025, batting .287 with a .353 on-base percentage, .422 slugging percentage, .775 OPS, 32 doubles, 10 home runs and 50 RBIs in 118 games. His 13% strikeout rate ranked in the 92nd percentile of big league hitters and his 13.4% whiff rate in the 95th percentile, per Baseball Savant.
Over four MLB seasons, Donovan has a career .282 average with a .361 on-base percentage, .411 slugging percentage, .772 OPS, 97 doubles, 40 homers and 202 RBIs in 492 games. He won the NL Gold Glove for utility players during his rookie season in 2022.
As for the prospects Woo reported the Cardinals inquiring about, the 22-year-old Cijntje is Seattle’s No. 7 prospect, per MLB Pipeline. The unique pitcher had a 3.99 ERA and 1.22 WHIP while holding opponents to a .207 average, striking out 120 batters and walking 51 in 108 1/3 innings pitched over 26 appearances (23 starts) across High-A and Double-A in 2025.
The 21-year-old Montes is considered to be the best power-hitting prospect in the Mariners’ farm system and is their No. 3 overall farmhand, per MLB Pipeline. The slugging outfielder hit .241 with a .354 on-base percentage, .504 slugging percentage, .858 OPS, 19 doubles, seven triples, 32 home runs, 89 RBIs, 83 walks and 169 strikeouts over 131 games across High-A and Double-A this year. Montes finished tied for third in home runs among minor leaguers across all levels.
The report that the M’s are one of the top contenders for Donovan came on the same day as they lost out on re-signing their top remaining free-agent target, second baseman/designated hitter Jorge Polanco, who reportedly agreed to a two-year, $40 million deal with the New York Mets.
More Seattle Mariners offseason coverage
• Backup catcher target emerges for Seattle Mariners, per reports
• Drayer: Mariners’ plan for 2B and 3B coming more into focus
• Salk: What we know and think about Seattle Mariners’ offseason needs
• Why Nolan Arenado could make sense as a Seattle Mariners trade target
• Drayer: Mariners’ plan for 2B and 3B coming more into focus
• The one move Passan says could make Mariners the AL favorites
Tonight’s spotlight lights are courtesy of Al, who sent this photo from a stop during The Beer Junction‘s wassail ride tonight – he says it’s in North Admiral, SW Atlantic between California SW and 44th SW. As for the ride, Al reports 17 people pedaled about six miles:
Wherever and however you find lights worth sharing, westseattleblog@gmail.com – with or without a pic! (To see what we’ve shown already, scroll through this WSB archive!)
The Seattle Mariners’ offseason will not be completed in a nice, neat, run-it-back bow, with reports Saturday morning that Jorge Polanco and the Mets are in agreement on a two-year, $40 million contract.
Drayer: Mariners’ plan for 2B and 3B coming more into focus
The number was stunning, with most industry insiders estimating Polanco would be looking at something closer to $12-15 million per year. Even ESPN’s Jeff Passan, one of the few to estimate Polanco would receive above $15 million per year, was likely to be surprised Saturday morning.
“He’s not getting $20 million a year,” Passan told Seattle Sports’ Brock and Salk on Tuesday. “I think at the end of the day, it’s probably going to be $14-17 million a year. If there are two teams duking it out at the end, maybe it goes up a million a year. It looks like it is going to be a three-year deal, but something along the lines of three (years) for $45-50 (million). I think that’s about right.”
The one move Passan says could make Mariners the AL favorites
The estimated $17 million salary sounded outrageous to the show hosts, but a lot can change this time of year, namely the Mets losing Pete Alonso to the Orioles. In comparison, Polanco is not exactly a splash after the loss of Alonso, but his versatility and offense when healthy (an .821 OPS in 2025) were attractive to the Mets.
Polanco going elsewhere was certainly a possibility – perhaps established as a good possibility when he failed to sign quickly, unlike the Mariners’ No. 1 target of the offseason, Josh Naylor. They were well aware of this with president of baseball operations Jerry Dipoto recently admitting the odds were technically against them with numerous teams involved. The Mariners valued Polanco but were outbid by a team that needed to make a move. So they must move on.
While the Mariners remained engaged in talks with free agents this week, it is the trade market where the most attractive candidates reside, with the Cardinals expected to trade Brendan Donovan and the Diamondbacks making Ketel Marte available.
Donovan and Marte would be great fits on the field and on the salary spreadsheet for Seattle, but they would come at the cost of prospect capital with the Cardinals, and to a lesser extent Diamondbacks, dealing from a position of leverage.
The Cardinals do not have to deal Donovan, who has two years remaining under club control, but his value presents new president of baseball operations Chaim Bloom the opportunity to make a significant early organizational mark.
In the case of Marte, the leverage he brings the Diamondbacks is short-lived as he will become a 10-and-5 player in the first weeks of the season, meaning he will be able to veto any trades at that point.
Can the M’s give up what Arizona wants for a Ketel Marte trade?
On the free agent market, despite reports that agent Scott Boras reached out to the Mariners about third baseman Alex Bregman having some interest in the team, the big-ticket players appear to remain off limits for the Mariners. They have maintained that the door would be open for Eugenio Suárez in the right circumstances. Assuming that would be a one-year deal, that signing seems unlikely to happen. The remaining free agent infielders appear to be more stopgap options of the take-a-chance variety with names like Willi Castro, Luis Rengifo or even Adam Frazier available.
The loss of Polanco and his production at the plate put Dipoto and general manager Justin Hollander in the position where they are going to have to make a gamble. They have a track record of making trades that end up requiring lower-ranked prospects than expected. If that is not the norm this winter, then do they make that painful prospect trade, or trade a starter from the big league roster? Does ownership decide it can make a gamble in expanding the budget for a higher-priced free agent, or does it take the gamble of making smaller moves, essentially staying where they are, seeing how it plays out and attempting to make big moves at the trade deadline once again?
The Mariners and Mariners fans have just been hit with a large dose of uncertainty. In the uncertainty are opportunities, however, and the remainder of the offseason should not be quiet.
More Seattle Mariners offseason coverage
• Backup catcher target emerges for Seattle Mariners, per reports
• Salk: What we know and think about Seattle Mariners’ offseason needs
• Why Nolan Arenado could make sense as a Seattle Mariners trade target
• Seattle Mariners pick two, lose one in minor league phase of Rule 5 draft
• With a tweak, Jose Ferrer could be special in Seattle Mariners’ bullpen
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