If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

At age 14, Shanna Holloway believed she was going to lose her mother for good.

“I can’t even step into a courtroom,” the 47-year-old told Fox News Digital. “When my mom was found guilty, I thought I would never see her again. I really believed I would not see her. Well, maybe I would see her, but I wouldn’t be able to touch her for 14 or 15 years.”

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In 1991, Wanda Holloway was charged with conspiring to kill the mother of her daughter’s cheerleading rival. The case, which rocked Channelview, Texas, and the rest of the nation, is now being explored in a true-crime docuseries on Investigation Discovery (ID), “The Texas Cheerleading Murder Plot.”

According to the network, the special aims to illuminate Wanda’s “true emotions” and how Shanna coped with the aftermath of the high-profile trial.

Shanna, who still lives in Texas, is now a teacher and a mother of two. She described being haunted by her past for decades.

“We had pep rallies at my school when I started teaching,” she recalled. “I remember one time when I was pregnant, I went to a pep rally. I started having contractions. My stomach started tightening just from being triggered.”

“Just the word ‘pom-pom,’ it’s triggering,” she said quietly.

Growing up, Shanna had a close bond with Wanda, who was recognized as a devoted mother in her blue-collar community. Like many girls, cheerleading caught Shanna’s eye. While she eventually lost interest, Wanda reportedly pushed her to still pursue it.

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“I guess maybe I wasn’t very competitive,” said Shanna. “It’s not in my nature. And this was a period where you had to be very competitive. It wasn’t just for fun. You had to be able to tumble, and you had to be able to cheer, and you had to have the popularity. It was almost like a job.”

Authorities said that Wanda attempted to hire a hitman to take out her nemesis, Verna Heath, People magazine reported. Texas Monthly also reported that both women “had the reputation of going all out for her daughter.”

According to reports, investigators believed Wanda came up with the scheme after Shanna failed to make the cheerleading squad. She blamed Heath and her daughter Amber for ruining Shanna’s chances, People revealed.

If Heath was eliminated, Amber would be too distraught to compete, investigators believed. This would then cement Shanna’s place on the squad.

According to reports, Wanda got in contact with her former brother-in-law, Terry Harper, and asked him if he could arrange the hit. Harper said he would, and then went to the Harris County Sheriff’s Office. He agreed to wear a wire to gather any evidence against Wanda.

Texas Monthly noted that the main reason Harper went to the police was that if anything happened to Heath or Amber, he wanted to be certain that he wouldn’t be considered a suspect.

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Shanna had no idea of what had occurred behind the scenes. The defense would later argue that Wanda’s ex-husband, Tony Harper, had conspired with his brother to frame her, Newsweek reported.

Wanda was arrested before the plot came to fruition. She was quickly labeled “Pom-Pom Mom” by the press. She was convicted of solicitation of capital murder in 1991, but the conviction was overturned due to a mistrial, Texas Monthly reported. 

According to the outlet, she was eventually sentenced to 10 years in prison in 1996. Wanda was released on probation in 1997.

Shanna said for years she struggled with the intense scrutiny she faced in her hometown following the trial.

“We didn’t talk about it… it was swept under the rug,” said Shanna. “I wasn’t allowed to talk about it. I was almost chastised if I brought it up. I couldn’t even speak about it without getting all red and sweaty and my chest getting tight… I had suppressed all that baggage that I hadn’t dealt with.”

“… I was having suicidal thoughts,” she admitted. “I never acted on it, but I did not want to be here anymore. I didn’t have anything to live for. I… couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was overwhelmed, and I got so stuck in a negative mindset… I was prescribed medication… At some point, I was on seven different pills.”

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Shanna said that from ages 14 to 33, she didn’t talk about what had happened. It was at age 33 she found herself on her kitchen floor crying.

“It wasn’t something that I would do — cry,” said Shanna. “I just held it all in. But doing that causes physical damage. It gave me stomach issues, headaches… it affects people differently, but it affected my health. I felt like I couldn’t go on anymore… It eats you alive. It will catch up with you eventually if you don’t deal with it.”

“I couldn’t see a way out of the pain that was always there,” she added.

Shanna sought help for her mental health through counseling. For the first time in decades, she was encouraged to speak out about what had happened and how she privately dealt with it. She went on to launch a website, Smile More Worry Less, which offers online courses for others struggling with depression.

“I wanted to heal, and this is part of the healing process,” said Shanna. “I wanted to show that you can go through trauma like I did, be at the lowest of lows, and still make it back if you do the work and talk about it. That’s what the documentary also helped me do — talk about it.”

While Shanna has a relationship with Wanda today, her idea to speak out on camera received “a lot of pushback” from family members.

“I was even threatened with lawsuits,” said Shanna. “I had to explain that this isn’t just me trying to bring this stuff up and hurt everybody. That’s not my goal… There are people out there hurting, and they don’t know what to do.”

Shanna hasn’t spoken to Amber since the incident, the New York Post reported. But today, Shanna hopes that in revisiting her past, others privately battling their own traumas will be encouraged to share their stories.

“I don’t think I’m 100%. I don’t think I ever will be,” she said. “But I can tell you I don’t wake up every single morning with anxiety anymore. I had a constant weight on my chest before I got on medications. I didn’t even know what it felt like to not have that anxiety in my chest because it had been there since I was 14.”

“I was so used to it,” Shanna reflected. “… But I didn’t have to feel this way this whole time… I feel like a huge weight or burden has been lifted off of me. And even the relationships with my mom and my dad, we’re starting to heal now because it’s being talked about for once.”