Tennessee
Archibald: Let’s rename the world, but start with Tennessee
This is an opinion column.
Who knew it was an option to simply change the names of things that don’t belong to us?
The possibilities are endless. You don’t have to actually change anything. You just have to call it something else.
For personal reasons, I’d like to rename Tennessee “Dorkland.” No offense to actual dorks. For personal reasons, Tennesseans have called me worse.
I’ve never understood why Alabama, which presumably dares defend its rights of way, allows the Dorkland River to flow freely in and out of its borders. Maybe we should just call it the River Sticks. Because you cross it to get to hillbilly hell.
It’s freeing to rename things that annoy you. There’s a president, I mean precedent, for it. And bodies of water are a good start.
Lake Superior is in the state of Canada, for Pete’s sake. It should rightly be called Lake Inferior. And the Pacific Ocean sounds like some hippy dippy draft dodger with “bad feet.” Let’s call it the Ocean of American Might. That’ll make waves.
Most rivers in Alabama are named for Native American culture, and I like that, except in the case of the one mentioned above. Lakes, on the other hand, are generally named for Alabama Power execs or their mothers, lawyers, engineers or friends. I’d change them in a Reddy Kilowatt, to Atlantic, Ventnor and Marvin Gardens. Park Place and Boardwalk. You know. Monopoly properties.
I guess New Mexico has to change. But I’m sure smart people are already thinking that.
I’m curious, too, why we never bothered to name the moon. It’s there every night and it’s just … moon. It’s like calling your dog “Dog” or your kid “Kid.” We planted a flag in that thing, so give it a fitting name: Yankee Doodle Flashlight. Or is it a gaslight?
But before you can change the heavens you have to change the wrongs closer to home.
There’s an Alabama town called Cuba 11 miles west of Intercourse. Of course we can’t have that. Cuba, I mean. We’ll call it Foreplay instead.
An hour northeast of Needmore, a little less than an hour northwest of Smuteye, is the community of Little Texas. There are only about 1,200 people there, but they need to own it. Forget the Little, and just call them Texas. The state of Texas? We’ll call it West Smuteye.
Marshall County has an Egypt and an Arab (rhymes with Ahab). It’s probably why the county has the third-highest immigrant population rate in the state. Alabama has a Berlin, a Havana and a Rome — where all roads do not lead.
There’s the Abel community in Cleburne County, just across the Talladega National Forest from Waldo, if you know where to find Waldo. As the Bible tells us Abel was a loser, so that has to change. Just call it Cain.
For that matter, why don’t we change the names of names.
Alabama offensive coordinator Nick Sheridan has not earned the right to be Tuscaloosa’s Nick S. (or a paycheck 22 times the median household income in the state, but that’s another story). Let’s just call him Temp.
That singer from Alabama, India Ramey, is tearing up Nashville these days. She’s great. But I’m afraid we’re going to have to call her Indiana. For America’s sake.
Cuba Gooding Jr. must be Cuba Not-so-Gooding. And while I hate it for Tennessee Williams, he will now have to be Dorkland Williams. It’s not even fair.
But hey, I’m just calling ‘em what I see ‘em.
In a world where greed is godly, thought control is liberty and theocracy is religious freedom, a rose is whatever you want to call it.
John Archibald is a two-time Pulitzer winner who, in actuality, has nothing at all against the great state of Tennessee. Or Dorkland.
Published on Mar. 3, 2026
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According to ESPN’s latest NFL mock draft, three former Tennessee Volunteers players are projected to be selected in the top 60 picks of the upcoming 2026 NFL Draft. Cornerbacks Jermod McCoy and Colton Hood are both projected to be first-round picks, while wide receiver Chris Brazzell II is projected to be a second-round selection.
Why it matters
The strong NFL Draft projections for Tennessee players highlight the continued talent development and success of the Volunteers football program under head coach Josh Heupel. If these projections hold true, it would mark the first time Tennessee has had two first-round picks and three players selected in the top 60 overall during Heupel’s tenure.
The details
Cornerback Jermod McCoy is projected to be selected 29th overall by the Los Angeles Rams, despite not participating in on-field workouts at the NFL Combine due to a previous ACL injury. Teammate Colton Hood is projected to be the final pick of the first round, going 32nd overall to the Seattle Seahawks. Wide receiver Chris Brazzell II impressed at the Combine with a 4.37 40-yard dash and is projected to be a second-round pick, going 60th overall to the Buffalo Bills.
- The NFL Combine was held in late February 2026.
- Tennessee’s Pro Day workouts are scheduled for the end of March 2026.
- The 2026 NFL Draft will take place in April-May 2026.
The players
Jermod McCoy
A cornerback for the Tennessee Volunteers who is projected to be a first-round pick in the 2026 NFL Draft, despite missing the 2025 season due to an ACL injury.
Colton Hood
A cornerback for the Tennessee Volunteers who is projected to be a first-round pick, going 32nd overall to the Seattle Seahawks in the 2026 NFL Draft.
Chris Brazzell II
A wide receiver for the Tennessee Volunteers who impressed at the NFL Combine with a 4.37 40-yard dash and is projected to be a second-round pick in the 2026 NFL Draft.
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What they’re saying
“If we’re going strictly by talent, McCoy is a top-10 prospect in this class. But he hasn’t played a game since 2024, missing all of last season after suffering an ACL tear in January 2025. We’re still not sure where he’s at in his recovery, as he did not participate in testing or drills at the combine. This gives the Rams — who haven’t drafted a corner in the first round since 2006 or before Day 3 since 2019 — the potential to get a steal here. McCoy is an easy mover who has squeaky-clean technique.”
— Jordan Reid, ESPN Analyst (ESPN)
“The reigning champions have a clear need at corner, as Josh Jobe and Riq Woolen are both scheduled to be free agents. Hood is a scheme-versatile player who can thrive in press man while also having the fluidity to excel in zone. A former all-state center fielder in high school, Hood’s ball skills frequently show up on tape (10 pass breakups and an interception last season). With his poised technique and wrap-up-and-finish tackling, he would fit well on the outside of Mike Macdonald’s secondary.”
— Jordan Reid, ESPN Analyst (ESPN)
“The Bills need someone who can separate on the outside, and Brazzell is an ‘X’ receiver who can be a deep vertical threat. He can also sink his weight and run a true route tree, making him a good fit with quarterback Josh Allen.”
— Jordan Reid, ESPN Analyst (ESPN)
What’s next
Tennessee’s Pro Day workouts are scheduled for the end of March 2026, where McCoy plans to participate in on-field drills to further showcase his recovery from the ACL injury. Strong performances at the Pro Day could potentially push McCoy back up draft boards into the top half of the first round.
The takeaway
The strong NFL Draft projections for Tennessee players demonstrate the continued talent development and success of the Volunteers football program under head coach Josh Heupel. If these projections hold true, it would mark a significant milestone for the program, with Tennessee potentially having two first-round picks and three players selected in the top 60 overall for the first time during Heupel’s tenure.
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. (WCYB) — Tennessee Athletics’ “Big Orange Caravan” presented by Pilot will roll into the Tri-Cities on April 30, bringing some of the university’s most recognizable faces to Kingsport.
The statewide tour, a collaboration between Tennessee Athletics and the UT Knoxville Office of Alumni Affairs, features Vice Chancellor/Director of Athletics Danny White, men’s basketball coach Rick Barnes, women’s basketball coach Kim Caldwell, head football coach Josh Heupel and “Voice of the Vols” Mike Keith.
The Tri-Cities stop is scheduled for Thursday, April 30, at Meadowview Convention Center, 1901 Meadowview Parkway, Kingsport, Tennessee. Doors open at 5 p.m., followed by a meet-and-greet session with the headliners from 5:30-6:15 p.m. The program begins at 6:15 p.m.
Hosted by Keith, the evening will include stories, program insight and a question-and-answer session with Tennessee’s athletics leaders and coaches. The UT Spirit Squads also will be in attendance.
Tickets are $30, plus taxes and fees, and include light food options. A cash bar, along with additional light food and appetizers, will be available.
Of each ticket sold, $5 will benefit the local UT Alumni chapter’s scholarship endowment and $10 will go toward the My All Campaign.
The Tri-Cities event is the final stop of the three-city spring tour. The caravan opens in Chattanooga on April 28 before heading to Nashville on April 29. As announced last spring, Chattanooga and Memphis will alternate as tour stops each year.
The Big Orange Caravan is designed to connect Tennessee coaches and administrators with fans across the state, offering behind-the-scenes insight and celebrating the support of the Volunteer community.
Tickets for the Tri-Cities stop can be purchased at https://www.gofevo.com/event/BOCTriCities26
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Tennessee star Nate Ament will miss a game against South Carolina on Tuesday, the program announced on Monday night. Ament was injured during a weekend contest against Alabama.
Ament was injured when he was rolled up on while going for a loose ball. His leg twisted awkwardly underneath him, and Ament immediately went to the locker room.
He would return briefly in the second half. Nate Ament even made a basket, but then he appeared to tweak his injury shortly after and returned to the bench. He did not re-enter the contest.
Tennessee issued a short statement on his availability against South Carolina. The program released the statement on Twitter.
“Nate Ament will not play tomorrow night at South Carolina,” Tennessee wrote. “Ament is out due to a right leg injury sustained Saturday against Alabama. The timetable for his return is to be determined and he will continue to be evaluated.”
A 6-foot-10, 207-pound freshman, Ament has been one of Tennessee’s best players all season. He is the team’s second-leading scorer, averaging 17.4 points per game. He’s also the team’s leading rebounder, securing 6.4 rebounds per game.
Nate Ament signs NIL deal with Reebok
On3’s Nick Schultz recently published a list of some of the top brands to sign college basketball freshmen to NIL deals. Ament was one of the top signees.
In addition to Arkansas star Darius Acuff, Ament signed with Reebok this year. Ament was the crown jewel of Tennessee’s recruiting class. He signed with the brand in October 2024 while he was the No. 4 overall player from the 2025 cycle, according to the Rivals Industry Ranking.
Nate Ament sits second on the Tennessee roster with 17.4 points per game, and his 6.4 rebounds on average leads the Vols. Additionally, his $1.3 million On3 NIL Valuation ranks No. 14 in college basketball and No. 56 in the On3 NIL 100.
On3’s Nick Schultz also contributed to this report.
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