If you think a story about a cabinet secretary cutting the penis off of a dead raccoon is the craziest thing you’ll hear all day, think again.

Actually, it’s hard to top the raccoon penis thing.

In any event, Daniel Kaplan recently reported for the Guardian on the case of Luther Davis. He’s a former member of the Alabama football team. More recently, he allegedly scammed lenders out of nearly $20 million, in part by impersonating a trio of NFL players: Michael Penix Jr., Xavier McKinney, and David Njoku.

Per the report, Davis plans to plead guilty later this month on charges based on allegations that he “obtained at least thirteen fraudulent loans totaling more than $19,845,000.” Of the amount, $11.6 million was obtained by pretending to be Penix, McKinney, and Njoku.

Davis allegedly worked with CJ Evins to secure the loans. Evins also plans to plead guilty.

As Kaplan explains it, the scheme began with the registration in Georgia of fake companies with names closely related to the players’ names or initials. Then, bank accounts and fraudulent email accounts were opened. Next, Davis and Evins secured fake identification documents for the players. At that point, they contacted loan brokers, providing fabricated documents.

Then came the kicker — Davis would attend the loan closings disguised as the player. The effort included makeup, wigs, and (when Davis was impersonating Penix) a durag.

The only connection by the players to the scam is that they had their identities stolen.

The fake loan obtained in McKinney’s name became the subject of civil litigation between the lender and the broker. A trial is set for July 2026.

The Arizona Cardinals hosted Alabama offensive tackle Kadyn Proctor for a top 30 visit on Wednesday, according to NFL Network’s Ian Rapoport.

Rapoport adds Proctor has met with the Kansas City Chiefs, Cleveland Browns, Detroit Lions, Philadelphia Eagles and San Francisco 49ers.

The 6-foot-7, 352-pound Proctor is coming off his third and final season at Alabama, appearing in 15 games for the Crimson Tide.

He was impressive these past two seasons, allowing just five sacks and seven quarterback hits in 26 games played, per Pro Football Focus. For his efforts, he was named co-winner of the Jacobs Blocking Trophy, which is given to the SEC’s top offensive lineman. Proctor was also a finalist for the Lombardi Award, which is handed down to the nation’s top lineman.

At the NFL Draft Combine, he ran a 5.21-second 40-yard dash and posted a 32.5-inch vertical and 25 bench press reps.

Proctor is getting a lot of late first-round love from draft analysts this offseason. The Athletic’s Dane Brugler has the tackle heading to the Philadelphia Eagles with the No. 23 overall pick in his seven-round mock draft published Wednesday.

ESPN’s Mel Kiper Jr., meanwhile, has Proctor going as high as No. 12 to the Cleveland Browns following a trade with the Dallas Cowboys.

Which other OT prospects have met with the Cardinals this draft cycle?

The Cardinals have also reportedly hosted Northwestern’s Caleb Tiernan and Florida’s Austin Barber on top 30 visits this offseason.

Arizona State’s Max Iheanachor also had a local visit with the franchise.

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MONTGOMERY, Ala. (WBMA) — Gov. Kay Ivey has signed a package of bills into law aimed at expanding rural health care access in Alabama, increasing the availability of emergency medical services and encouraging healthier food choices for people who use Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program benefits.

“In December, I announced Alabama’s participation in a new Trump Administration program funded by the ‘One Big Beautiful Bill’ passed by Congress to expand rural healthcare delivery,” Ivey said. “Not wasting a moment, I worked with legislative leaders this session to remove legal barriers to ensure healthcare providers are able to work together to improve healthcare delivery in our rural areas. We have also freed first responders to deliver more life-saving services during ambulance calls, and we have joined other states in streamlining approval of out-of-state physician assistants to practice in Alabama. We are promoting healthier diets for Alabama SNAP beneficiaries by restricting the purchase of sugary foods that contribute to obesity and diabetes. These efforts along with several other pieces of legislation lay a solid foundation as we partner with the Trump Administration in improving rural healthcare delivery to better meet the needs of the public.”

Among the measures Ivey highlighted is the Alabama Rural Health Antitrust Immunity Act (HB605), which provides limited antitrust protections intended to allow collaboration among health care providers to maximize efficiency and sustain and expand services in rural areas. The law allows activities that include shared clinical, administrative and support services; coordinated staffing arrangements; joint quality improvement initiatives; and the purchase and use of shared facilities and equipment.

Another bill, the Alabama Physician Assistant Licensure Compact (HB156), streamlines state license approval for out-of-state physician assistants to practice in Alabama. Under the legislation, Alabama becomes the 24th state to approve the compact, joining Tennessee and Arkansas in the South.

Several new laws focus on emergency medical services. Treat in Place (SB269) allows ambulance operators to be paid for medical services performed on-site. Under current practice, Emergency Medical Services providers are not paid unless they transport a patient to the hospital, even if the patient does not require full emergency department or inpatient care. Removing the patient-transport mandate for reimbursement is expected to increase the availability of EMS care and reduce patient overcrowding in hospitals.

The Expansion of EMS Tuition Reimbursement Program (HB116) adds the Alabama Department of Public Health’s six regional Emergency Medical Services offices to the locations that can offer eligible instruction. Graduates would be required to complete a two-year service commitment to qualify for tuition reimbursement.

Accepting Military Training for EMS Licensure (HB182) requires the Alabama Department of Public Health to accept an applicant’s education, training and experience gained during U.S. military service as credit toward meeting state EMS license requirements.

Two bills address out-of-pocket costs for certain cancer screenings. Under HB300, beginning Jan. 1, 2027, no health benefit plan sold in Alabama will be able to impose a copayment or similar expense on an insured person for a supplemental breast examination or a diagnostic breast examination. Under SB19, beginning Oct. 1, 2027, no health benefit plan sold in Alabama will be able to impose a copayment, deductible, or similar expense on an insured person for prostate screening for men older than 50, or men at “high risk” who are older than 40.

Ivey also signed a measure tied to SNAP benefits. Ensuring Healthy Choices for SNAP Benefits (SB57) has Alabama joining 22 other states in requesting a waiver from the U.S. Department of Agriculture to prohibit SNAP benefits from being used to purchase high-sugar candies and sodas.

Another new law expands restrictions on nicotine use in public places. Indoor Vaping Restrictions for Public Places (SB9) extends the current ban on smoking cigarettes, pipes and cigars in a public space or in public meetings to include the use of a vaping device, electric cigarette or any other “electronic nicotine delivery system,” whether the e-liquid contains nicotine, THC or another substance.

In addition to the legislation, Ivey and the Alabama Legislature made appropriations for the Rural Health Transformation Program. The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services this year awarded $203.4 million to Alabama for projects the state proposed to improve health care for rural residents.