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Why Does This Building by the Subway Need 193 Parking Spots? (Yes, Exactly 193.)

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Why Does This Building by the Subway Need 193 Parking Spots? (Yes, Exactly 193.)

A rendering of the new apartment building at 975 Nostrand Ave. in Brooklyn. Underground parking spaces not shown.

Lemons Bucket

The apartment building under construction at 975 Nostrand Avenue in Brooklyn is the kind of project that city officials and economists say New York needs to solve the city’s severe housing shortage.

It will have 328 new homes at rents targeting young professionals, from studios up to three-bedrooms, with a grocery store on the ground floor.

But the ability to construct these homes, at this location, turns on a peculiar problem: How do you also find a place to park 193 cars on this lot?

The site is about one block from the subway.

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To fit ample parking here, the builders had to excavate 14 feet underground. And some of this cellar space is needed for utilities and storage.

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The remaining space is irregular. These are the structural columns supporting the apartments above.

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And here’s where you fit the cars.

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Actually, that’s only 146 of them. To accommodate the remaining cars, each spot here holds a two-car mechanical stacker.

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(This is the actual diagram submitted to the New York Department of Buildings for review.)

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This Brooklyn building is subject to a powerful but obscure force operating in communities all over the country: the parking minimum. Every one of its 193 parking spaces is prescribed by the city’s zoning code, in dizzying detail.

The project must provide, at minimum, half a parking spot for each housing unit; one parking spot for every 400 square feet of retail and art gallery inside; and one spot for every 300 square feet of space in part of the planned grocery store (the other part of the grocery store is exempt from parking, and we’re sorry but only a land use lawyer can explain this).

New York is now proposing to radically simplify requirements like this by ending parking mandates on all new housing citywide. The move could make it cheaper and faster to construct new homes amid a housing affordability crisis, and it would make New York the latest American city to toss out decades-old parking rules. But as a movement to end parking minimums gains traction across the country, what happens in New York will be revealing: In the least car-dependent big city in America, the instinct to accommodate cars may still prove stronger than fears about the shortage of homes.

“These rules were written at a time when cars defined everything,” said Dan Garodnick, the head of New York’s Planning Commission.

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It was a moment when cities were first racing to adapt to cars and compete with suburbs full of plentiful parking. “We are in a different era today,” he said.

That assessment will be put to the test in the coming weeks, as the City Council is set to vote on the change as part of a broader package of housing measures.

Mr. Garodnick is quick to clarify that the administration is not proposing to end parking in residential buildings — just the required minimums. Developers will still build parking, he reasons, where there’s demand for it (and in fact, today some build more than the minimum). But they’ll also have the option to build none.

Those opposed to the change are skeptical of its benefits: “I don’t see where less parking means there’s greater affordability,” said Fred Baptiste, the chair of Community Board 9, where 975 Nostrand sits. “It just means there’s less parking.”

Six Parking Spots Per Bowling Lane

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Cities and towns nationwide have had parking minimums sitting unquestioned in their zoning codes for half a century. But in recent years, dozens of cities have removed them. Buffalo was among the first in 2017. Austin, Texas, last year became the largest U.S. city to do so.

As housing has grown more expensive across the country, cities have increasingly realized that parking can make the problem worse, raising the cost and complexity of development, even discouraging the construction of homes.

Construction costs run from $10,000 per parking space in a surface lot to $70,000 per space in an underground garage. That gets baked into what developers must recoup from tenants and buyers, whether they own a car or not. The rules drive up the per-unit cost to build affordable housing (in New York, affordable units near transit are exempt from parking minimums, but the rules still apply elsewhere). And they often require more parking than people actually use.

The mandates began in the 1950s and ’60s as mass car ownership expanded beyond the capacity of on-street parking. Minimums in New York were introduced in 1950 for new residential buildings. The city’s 1961 zoning code (the one still in place today) raised the requirements and added them for offices, retail and other building types. In New York and elsewhere, the rules typically take the form of ratios that have been copied from one city to another, handed from one generation of engineers to the next without much study or skepticism.

A Sample of Minimum Parking Rules

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0.5 parking spots per unit plus 1 parking spot per employee

Senior Housing in Vallejo, Calif.

2 parking spots per dwelling unit

Manufactured Home in Knoxville, Tenn.

1 parking spot per 2 beds

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Monastery/Convent in Savannah, Ga.

1.25 parking spots per dwelling unit

Efficiency Apartment in Fargo, N.D.

1 parking spot per 4 rooms

Rooming House in New Orleans

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1 parking spot per 2 beds

Fraternity/Sorority in Baltimore

2 parking spots per dwelling unit plus garage

Single-Family Home in Oklahoma City

1 parking spot per million gallons of capacity

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Sewage Treatment Plant in Dallas

1 parking spot per 100 sq. ft.

Haunted House in Gilbert, Ariz.

1 parking spot per 8 occupants plus 1 spot per 2 employees

Cemetery in Carver, Mass.

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1 parking spot per 10 migrants at max capacity

Migrant Labor Camp in Queen Anne’s County, Md.

10 parking spots per 1 mile of trail

Nature/Bike Trail in Jefferson Hills, Pa.

1 parking spot per 250 sq. ft. of office/retail area

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Butterfly/Moth Breeding in SeaTac, Wash.

6 parking spots per lane

Bowling Center in Folsom, Calif.

1 parking spot per 50 sq. ft. of floor area

Night Club in Port Angeles, Wash.

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8 parking spots per green

1 parking spot per 10 children plus 1 per employee

Child Care Center in Charlotte, N.C.

1.2 parking spots per bed

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3 parking spots per court

Tennis Club in Rochester, N.Y.

1 parking spot per 100 sq. ft. of sanctuary seating area

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1 parking spot per 60 sq. ft. of batting area

1 parking spot per 50 sq. ft. water surface plus 1 spot per 2 employees

Swimming Pool in Allentown, Pa.

“People just assume these numbers are right because they’re in the zoning code,” said Tony Jordan, who runs the Parking Reform Network, which advocates ending minimums. “No, they’re just made up.”

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Beyond increasing construction costs, the rules have squeezed out of existence many common prewar urban housing forms, like four-unit apartment buildings on lots too small for parking. Mandates have meanwhile produced their own specific kinds of places: stores surrounded by surface lots, strip malls wrapped around parking, apartment complexes that have no ground-floor retail because the ground floor is full of cars.

And because the rules apply broadly, they can require parking in subsidized housing for low-income households least likely to own a car. They can force builders to construct 350 square feet of garage space for a 400-square-foot studio.

Given that cities have only recently begun to change these rules, there’s limited evidence of what happens after they’re gone. In the first years after Buffalo ended parking minimums, about half of new developments built fewer parking spaces than they were previously required to, supporting the idea that the standards are too high for some properties, too low for others.

Proponents also hope that by ditching parking mandates, cities communicate another message: “If you require a place to park a car, you’re automatically saying a car is welcome,” said Felicity Maxwell, a planning commissioner in Austin who voted to end minimums there last year. And many of the prewar buildings and neighborhoods cherished today are places that have long thrived without welcoming cars.

Compared with Austin and Buffalo, New York is proposing a half-measure: to end mandates only for housing (at 975 Nostrand, for example, the retail space would still require some parking). Mr. Garodnick demurred on whether ending all minimums would be a logical future step for the city.

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An Expensive Hole in the Ground

New York is also a particularly tough place to create parking. Land is so scarce and valuable that it seldom makes sense to use it just to park cars. 975 Nostrand was originally a single-story grocery store with a large parking lot. Now it will become home to 500 to 600 people, with a grocery store on the ground floor.

But making the best use of that limited space means developers frequently turn to the hardest possible parking solution: putting it underground.

“When you go below grade in New York City, you are talking about the most expensive and the most risky part of a project,” said Sam Charney, principal of the developer Charney Companies. His worst construction horror story involved a mixed-use building that required two levels of underground parking in a corner of bustling Williamsburg in Brooklyn. He thought the parking actually necessary was none.

Before Charney Companies built The Dime in Williamsburg, it first dug this 30-foot-deep hole (while propping up the neighboring properties) for a two-story underground garage.

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Charney Companies LLC

Excavation is costly and onerous. Neighboring buildings must be underpinned. Buried oil tanks and boulders get in the way. Below the water table, everything must be waterproofed. And all of this adds months to construction, during which time developers are carrying large loans.

Parking stackers help save space by lifting cars up so others can park underneath. But then garages require parking attendants to operate them — and that’s another cost someone has to pay.

All of this is further complicated by the fact that the exact quantity of parking required depends on how the land at a given site is zoned.

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Here are just the few blocks around 975 Nostrand:

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Buildings across the street from each other are often zoned differently.

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And each zone has its own minimum parking ratios for housing.

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Source: New York City Zoning & Land Use Map

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Certain zones also exempt parking on the first five or 15 housing units, incentivizing builders to stay below that cutoff — or to carve lots up into several smaller buildings with fewer total housing units.

“You really don’t want to build a bigger building than you can provide parking for,” said David West, an architect.

These trade-offs for developers don’t garner a lot of sympathy with New Yorkers who have a more prosaic concern: where to park after a long work day or when there’s a hungry child in the back seat. The community board that encompasses the Nostrand development opposes getting rid of the minimums, as do politicians representing parts of the city that don’t have good transit access.

“For Staten Islanders, it’s almost impossible to not have at least one car per household,” said Joseph Borelli, who represents southern Staten Island as minority leader of the City Council.

Source: New York Times survey; New York City Zoning Application Portal

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The City Planning Commission expects that the greatest change to come from ending parking mandates would be in the “inner outer” boroughs — not in the lowest-density neighborhoods that have opposed it the most, but in places like Nostrand Avenue in Crown Heights. That’s where the gap is widest today between the quantity of parking required and the demand for it around public transit. In the densest parts of the city — much of Manhattan, and Long Island City in Queens — parking minimums are already waived (Manhattan, in fact, has had parking maximums since 1982, in a bid to reduce car travel and improve air quality).

Some suggest the city should more narrowly tailor its proposal rather than sweep away requirements citywide. But that would be an extension of what New York has done for years — carving out piecemeal exemptions for certain geographies, lot sizes, affordability levels and building amenities, until it has arrived at an intricate web of parking rules.

To proponents of ending minimums, the citywide simplicity is part of the point: The requirements aren’t just arbitrary near the subway; they are arbitrary everywhere because a prescribed ratio can never be just right for every lot. And even on Staten Island, lifting the minimums might allow someone to build an accessory dwelling unit — without extra parking — in the backyard. That would serve the city’s housing goals too.

At 975 Nostrand, where the developer Hudson Companies is about a year away from completing the building, the managing director of development, Marlee Busching-Truscott, struggled to estimate exactly how much parking would have been built if that number weren’t dictated by a zoning table. This is one of the other distortions of parking mandates. Developers typically try to study the market for nearly every facet of a project — the mix of apartment sizes, the targeted rents, the building amenities, the outdoor spaces, the kitchen finishes. But they don’t do that basic exercise for something as costly and sizable as a parking garage, because they have little choice in the matter.

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Though Ms. Busching-Truscott couldn’t say exactly how the building would have taken shape without parking minimums, “I don’t think we would have gotten to 193 spaces that would have required having a fully excavated cellar and a chaotic layout.”

That result speaks to the building’s essential paradox: “This is transit-oriented development,” she said, “that you’re still building around the car.”

New York

Essential New York City Movies Picked by Ira Sachs and Blondie’s Debbie Harry and Chris Stein

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Essential New York City Movies Picked by Ira Sachs and Blondie’s Debbie Harry and Chris Stein

Film

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Leo McCarey’s “Make Way for Tomorrow” (1937). The Criterion Collection

‘Make Way for Tomorrow’ (1937), directed by Leo McCarey

The log line: After the bank forecloses on their home, an elderly couple must separate, each living with a different one of their adult children. 

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The pitch: “It’s a film that Orson Welles famously said ‘would make a stone cry,’” says Sachs, 60, about McCarey’s movie, singling out a long sequence at the end that depicts “a date through certain lobbies and bars of New York City that offers a snapshot of Midtown in the ’30s.” 

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Tippy Walker (left) and Merrie Spaeth in George Roy Hill’s “The World of Henry Orient” (1964). United Artists/Photofest

‘The World of Henry Orient’ (1964), directed by George Roy Hill

The log line: A wily 14-year-old girl and her best friend follow a ridiculous concert pianist, on whom they have a crush, around the city.

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The pitch: Hill’s 1960s romp inspired Sachs’s film “Little Men” (2016), which is about boys around the same age as these protagonists. “It’s an extraordinarily sweet film that also seems, to me, very honest,” he says. 

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Rip Torn (left) in Milton Moses Ginsberg’s “Coming Apart” (1969). Courtesy of the Everett Collection

‘Coming Apart’ (1969), directed by Milton Moses Ginsberg

The log line: Rip Torn plays an obsessive psychiatrist who secretly films all the women passing through his home office, inadvertently capturing his own mental breakdown. 

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The pitch: Shot in one room with a fixed camera, Ginsberg’s film “really feels of a time,” says Sachs. It’s also “very sexual and very free,” reminding him of what’s possible when it comes to making movies. 

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Don Murray and Diahn Williams in Ivan Nagy’s “Deadly Hero” (1975). Courtesy of the Everett Collection

‘Deadly Hero’ (1975), directed by Ivan Nagy

The log line: A disturbed, racist cop saves a cellist from a crook, only to become her tormentor. 

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The pitch: Harry, 80, and Stein, 76, were extras in Nagy’s film, which stars Don Murray, Diahn Williams and James Earl Jones as the cop, the cellist and the crook, respectively. The pair call the movie “[expletive] weird,” but also say that their day rate — $300 — “was the most money we’d ever made on anything” up to that point.

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Chantal Akerman’s “News From Home” (1976). Collections Cinematek © Fondation Chantal Akerman

‘News From Home’ (1976), directed by Chantal Akerman

The log line: An experimental documentary by Akerman, a Belgian filmmaker who moved to New York in her early 20s, the film features long takes of the city and voice-over in which the director reads letters from her mother. 

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The pitch: “I’m intrigued by how beauty contains sadness in the city,” says Sachs. Not only is her film a “beautiful record of the city” but it captures “what it is to be alone here, to have left some sort of community and, in particular for Chantal, separated from her mother.”

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Michael Wadleigh’s “Wolfen” (1981). Orion/Courtesy of the Everett Collection

‘Wolfen’ (1981), directed by Michael Wadleigh

The log line: Albert Finney stars as a former N.Y.P.D. detective who returns to the job to solve a violent and bizarre string of murders. 

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The pitch: Wadleigh’s film is not only a vehicle for Finney, says Stein, it also “has a lot of footage from the South Bronx when it was still completely destroyed” by widespread arson in the 1970s.

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Seret Scott in Kathleen Collins’s “Losing Ground” (1982).

‘Losing Ground’ (1982), directed by Kathleen Collins

The log line: Collins’s film — the first feature-length drama for a major studio directed by an African American woman — observes a rocky relationship between a college professor and her painter husband.

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The pitch: Sachs calls “Losing Ground” “a revelation.” The characters are “so human and fascinating and extremely modern,” he says, adding that he loves a movie that “exists in some very complete version of the local.”

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Griffin Dunne in Martin Scorsese’s “After Hours” (1985). Mary Evans/Ronald Grant/Everett Collection

‘After Hours’ (1985), directed by Martin Scorsese

The log line: In Scorsese’s black comedy, an office worker (Griffin Dunne) has a surreal and bizarre evening of misadventure while trying to get back uptown from a woman’s apartment in SoHo. 

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The pitch: Harry and Stein recommend this zany tale and borderline “nightmare” for the way it captures a bygone era of New York. “It’s this great image of [Lower Manhattan] when it was still raw, you know, Wild West territory,” Stein says. 

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A scene from Edo Bertoglio’s “Downtown 81” (1980-81/2000). Courtesy of Metrograph Pictures

‘Downtown 81’ (shot in 1980-81, released in 2000), directed by Edo Bertoglio

The log line: Bertoglio’s film is a striking portrait of a young artist who needs to raise money so he can return to the apartment from which he’s been evicted. 

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The pitch: Jean-Michel Basquiat stars as the artist in this snapshot of life in New York during the ’80s. Despite all the drama surrounding it — postproduction wasn’t completed until 20 years after filming, and for many years the movie was considered lost — the film is notable, says Stein, because “it’s got all the characters and all our buddies in it.”

These interviews have been edited and condensed.

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13 Actors You Should Never Miss on the New York Stage

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13 Actors You Should Never Miss on the New York Stage

Theater

Quincy Tyler Bernstine

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Sara Krulwich/The New York Times

A master of active stillness, the 52-year-old Bernstine (imposing in the 2024 revival of John Patrick Shanley’s “Doubt,” above) has that great actorly gift of making thought visible. A natural leader onstage, she compels audiences to follow her.

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Victoria Clark

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Sara Krulwich/The New York Times

One of the theater’s best singing actors, with Tonys for Adam Guettel and Craig Lucas’s “The Light in the Piazza” (2005) and David Lindsay-Abaire and Jeanine Tesori’s “Kimberly Akimbo” (above, 2022), Clark, 66, performs not on top of the notes but through them, delivering complicated characterization and gorgeous sound in each breath.

Susannah Flood

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Sara Krulwich/The New York Times

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Flood, 43, is a true expert at confusion, a good thing because she often plays characters like the twisted-in-knots Lizzie in Bess Wohl’s “Liberation” (above, 2025). What makes that confusion thrilling is how she grounds it not in a lack of information or purpose but, just like real life, in an excess of both.

Jonathan Groff

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Sara Krulwich/The New York Times

The rare musical theater man with the unstoppable drive of a diva, Groff, 41, sweats charisma, as audience members in ringside seats at Warren Leight and Isaac Oliver’s Broadway musical “Just in Time” (above, 2025) recently discovered. Giving you everything, he makes you want more.

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William Jackson Harper

Sara Krulwich/The New York Times

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Unmoored characters are often unsympathetic. But whether playing a confused doctor in the 2024 revival of Anton Chekhov’s “Uncle Vanya” or a delusional bookstore clerk in Eboni Booth’s “Primary Trust” (above, 2023), Harper, 46, makes vulnerability look easy, and hurt hard.

Joshua Henry

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Sara Krulwich/The New York Times

There are singers who blow the roof off theaters, but the 41-year-old Henry’s voice is so huge and deeply connected to universal feelings that he seems to be singing inside you. Currently starring in the Broadway revival of “Ragtime” (above, by Lynn Ahrens, Stephen Flaherty and Terrence McNally), he blows the roof off your head.

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Mia Katigbak

Superb and acidic in almost any role — in distress (Annie Baker’s 2023 “Infinite Life,” above) or in command (2024’s “Uncle Vanya”) — Katigbak, 71, finds the sweet spot in even the sourest truths of the human condition.

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Judy Kuhn

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Sara Krulwich/The New York Times

With detailed intelligence and specific intention informing everything she sings, Kuhn, 67, is (among other things) a Stephen Sondheim specialist — her take on Fosca in “Passion” (above, 2012) was almost literally wrenching. It requires intellectual stamina to keep up with the master word for word.

Laurie Metcalf

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Sara Krulwich/The New York Times

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The fierce, sharp persona you may know from her years on “Roseanne” (1988-97) is about a tenth of the blistering commitment Metcalf, 70, offers onstage in works like Samuel D. Hunter’s “Little Bear Ridge Road” (above, 2025). She goes there, no matter the destination.

Deirdre O’Connell

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Sara Krulwich/The New York Times

For 40 years an Off Broadway treasure, O’Connell, 72, handles the most daring, out-there material — including, recently, a 12-minute monologue of cataclysmic gibberish in Caryl Churchill’s “Kill” (above, 2025) — as if it were as ordinary as barroom gossip.

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Conrad Ricamora

Sara Krulwich/The New York Times

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Revealing the Buddy Holly in Benigno Aquino Jr. (in the 2023 Broadway production of David Byrne and Fatboy Slim’s “Here Lies Love”) or the queer wolf in Abraham Lincoln (in Cole Escola’s “Oh, Mary!,” above, last year), Ricamora, 47, is uniquely capable of great dignity and great silliness — and, wonderfully, both together.

Andrew Scott

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Sara Krulwich/The New York Times

It’s a tough competition, but Scott, 49, may have the thinnest skin of any actor. Whether he’s onstage (playing all the characters in Simon Stephens’s Off Broadway “Vanya,” above, in 2025) or on film, every emotion — especially rue — reads right through his translucence.

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Michael Patrick Thornton

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Sara Krulwich/The New York Times

Some actors are hedgehogs, projecting one idea blazingly. Thornton, 47, is a fox, carefully hoarding ideas and motivations. Keeping you guessing as Jessica Chastain’s benefactor in the 2023 revival of Henrik Ibsen’s “A Doll’s House” or as a pathetic lackey in last year’s production of Samuel Beckett’s “Waiting for Godot” (above, center), he holds you in his thrall.

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How a Geologist Lives on $200,000 in Bushwick, Brooklyn

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How a Geologist Lives on 0,000 in Bushwick, Brooklyn

How can people possibly afford to live in one of the most expensive cities on the planet? It’s a question New Yorkers hear a lot, often delivered with a mix of awe, pity and confusion.

We surveyed hundreds of New Yorkers about how they spend, splurge and save. We found that many people — rich, poor or somewhere in between — live life as a series of small calculations that add up to one big question: What makes living in New York worth it?

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Here’s one way to make New York more affordable: triple your income. After moving from Baton Rouge, La., in 2016 to attend graduate school, Daniel Babin lived mostly on red beans and rice or homemade “slop pots,” renting rooms in what he called a “cult house” and a building on a block his girlfriend was afraid to visit.

Then, in January, he got a job as a geologist with a mineral exploration company, with a salary of $200,000, plus a $15,000 signing bonus. A new city suddenly opened up to him. “I can take a woman out on a $300 dinner date and not look at the check and not feel bad about it,” he said. He also now has health insurance.

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Mr. Babin, 32, a marine geologist who also leads an acoustic string band, now navigates two economic worlds, one shaped to his postdoctoral income of $70,000 a year — when his idea of a date was a walk in Central Park — and the other reflecting his new income. In this world, he is shopping for a vintage Martin Dreadnought guitar, for which he will gladly drop $4,000.

Finding a New Base Line

On a recent morning at Mr. Babin’s home in Bushwick, Brooklyn, where he shares a 6,800-square-foot cohousing space with 17 roommates, he was still figuring out how to manage this split.

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Daniel Babin lives in a cohousing space modeled on the ethos of Burning Man, the annual arts festival in Nevada.

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“I’m feeling less inclined to just let it rip than I was a few months ago,” he said of his spending habits. He socks away $1,500 from each paycheck, and has not moved to replace his 2003 Toyota Corolla, an “absolute dump” given to him by his father. “Hopefully, I’m returning a little bit to some kind of base-line lifestyle that I’ve established for myself over the last five years,” he continued. “Because the fear is lifestyle inflation. You don’t want to just make more money to spend more money. That’s not the point, right?”

Lightning Lofts, the cohousing space where Mr. Babin has lived since January 2024, bills itself as part of a “social wellness movement” and seeks to continue the ethos of Burning Man, the annual communal art and cultural festival in the Nevada desert.

For a room with an elevated loft bed and use of common areas, Mr. Babin pays $1,400 a month in rent, plus another $250 for utilities and weekly housecleaning.

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He was first drawn to the organization through its events, including open mic “salons” where he played music or read from his science fiction writings. These were free or very cheap nights out, unpredictable and fascinating.

“You would see dance and tonal singing, and some dude wrote an algorithm that can auto-generate A.I. video based on what you’re saying — beautiful storytelling,” he said.

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“So I just showed up every month, basically, until they let me live here.”

The room was a good deal. He had looked at a nearby building where the rent was $1,900 for a room in a basement apartment that flooded once a month. “Ridiculous,” he said.

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But beyond its financial appeal, Mr. Babin liked the loft’s social life. “I used to be chronically lonely, and I just don’t feel lonely anymore,” he said. “Which is fantastic in a crazy place like New York. It’s so alive and it’s so isolating at the same time.”

Splurging on Ski Trips

Before Mr. Babin got his new job, he used to go to restaurants with friends and not eat, trying to save up $35 for a “burner” party — in the spirit of Burning Man — or Ecstatic Dance, a recurring substance-free dance party. He loved to ski but could not afford a hotel, so he would carry his old skis and beat-up boots to southern Vermont and back on the same day.

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“Going on a hike is a pretty cheap hobby,” he said, recalling his money-saving measures. “Living without health insurance is a good one.”

He still appreciates a good hike, he said. But on a recent ski trip, he splurged on new $700 boots and another $300 worth of gear. “I’m like, this is something I’ve wanted for 10 years, so I deserve it,” he said.

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He bought a $600 drone to take pictures for his social media accounts, and then promptly crashed it into the Caribbean (he’s now replacing the rotors in hopes of returning it to health).

He cut out the red beans and rice, he said, but his usual meal is still a modest $13 sandwich from the nearby bodega or $10 for pizza. “If I’m getting takeout and it’s less than $17, I don’t feel too bad about it,” he said.

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A Future After Cohousing

A big change is that dating is much more comfortable now, and he feels more attractive as a marriage prospect. “It turns out that a lot more people pay attention to you if you offer them dinner instead of a walk in the park,” he said.

He is now thinking of leaving the cohousing space — not just because he can afford to, but because his work has kept him from joining house events, like the regular potluck dinners. “I sometimes feel like a bad roommate, because part of being here is participating,” he said. “I feel like there might be someone who would enjoy the community aspect more than I’m capable of contributing right now.”

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He sounds almost wistful in discussing his former economizing. If it weren’t for the dating issue, he said, he would not need the higher income or lifestyle upgrades. “I never really felt like I was compromising on what I wanted to do,” he said.

He paused. “It’s just that what I was comfortable with has changed a little bit.”

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We are talking to New Yorkers about how they spend, splurge and save.

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