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If You Have to Ask About This Harlem Dinner Party, You’re Not Invited

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If You Have to Ask About This Harlem Dinner Party, You’re Not Invited

The lobby lacks the swirly marble flooring and chandeliers of finer residential buildings. The long hallways are almost dingy. But behind one of the apartment doors on a recent night, the mood was anything but dull.

Butterflied branzino was about to go in the oven. A pan of glistening buns rested on the stove. Fariyal Abdullahi, executive chef at Marcus Samuelsson’s restaurant Hav & Mar, and the private chef Nana Araba Wilmot were hovering over the dishes. At the bar, a punch of bourbon, sweet tea, mango juice, ginger liqueur and fresh mint was being poured.

The jazz singer Dee Dee Bridgewater arrived after a long evening at the recording studio. Her dog, Daisy, a fluffy Maltese-Shih Tzu mix, perched valiantly atop her wheeled suitcase.

The party’s host, Alexander Smalls, perused the scene.

“This is an interesting place to hang out,” he boomed in a baritone that rose above the party chatter.

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The guests erupted in laughter.

In New York, members-only clubs with steep fees and private restaurants in luxury towers have become powerhouses for socializing and networking over food and booze. So many have opened in recent months that the monetization of community seems practically like a new business strategy.

But there are some spaces you can’t buy your way inside. Mr. Smalls’s cozy apartment in West Harlem is one of them, its own humble seat of power. There, guests find a setting for community and connection. They can generate buzz for a new idea or project and sometimes even find investors who are eager to listen.

“The Vanderbilts used to do that, and the Astors,” said Mr. Smalls, a well-known chef and former opera singer. “They created these enclaves of power and elevated air to breathe. They relished in bringing in creatives. The celebrities, they all pass through here on their way somewhere, and I feed them and nurture them.”

Last month’s dinner party organized by Mr. Smalls was partly a celebration of his new cookbook, “The Contemporary African Kitchen,” and partly a birthday bash: He had just turned 73. And it was a chance for Mr. Smalls to let two chefs, Ms. Abdullahi and Ms. Wilmot, show off their skills (he made one dish himself, a black-eyed pea and poached-pear salad). The guests were successful or up-and-coming painters, dancers, curators, musicians and chefs, many of whom have multi-hyphenate titles.

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But mostly, it was just another evening at the home of an artist whose work in both cooking and music has earned James Beard, Tony and Grammy Awards.

“I live to throw parties,” said Mr. Smalls, outfitted in dark-rimmed glasses, a black suit jacket and Dolce & Gabbana slip-on loafers.

When Mr. Smalls was a child living in Spartanburg, S.C., he wanted so badly to entertain that his father built him a clubhouse in his backyard so he could invite friends over and make food for them. That impulse endured though his early career in opera.

“When I moved to New York and got my apartment, the parties began. It was my way of creating community,” he said. “What I learned as a child is the person with the spoon wielded the power.”

When his opera career took him to Paris and Rome, he held dinner parties there that attracted fashion designers, actors and dancers. His voice coach at one point told him that if he didn’t ease up on the dinners, he would never have a career in opera. Eventually, he felt like he had hit the glass ceiling as a Black man in opera.

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He shifted his focus to food with the aim of making sure Southern cooking had a place in fine dining. He had five restaurants in New York: Café Beulah, Sweet Ophelia’s, the Shoebox Cafe, the Cecil and Minton’s Playhouse, which he helped to reopen.

“I opened my first restaurant so someone else would pay for dinner,” he said. “Entertaining was an addiction. I almost forgot what it was like to eat alone. I had to find a way to support my habit.”

His establishments drew Gloria Steinem, Maya Angelou and Toni Morrison. George Clooney and the cast of “Saturday Night Live” showed up at Café Beulah one evening. Catherine Deneuve would sit at the bar. Glenn Close was a regular.

Mr. Smalls closed his last New York restaurant in 2018. He has written cookbooks and a children’s book and opened an African food hall in Dubai. He plans to start a similar food hall in Harlem. And he hopes to create a nonprofit, Smalls House, which will provide hospitality training and a community kitchen.

Meanwhile, he’s still throwing dinner parties. His aim these days is to elevate lesser-known Black chefs and chefs from the African diaspora, letting them do most of the cooking. He curates the party playlists and the guest lists.

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“I speak the language of music and food,” he said, “and through those conversations I am able to introduce that circle to new chefs, artists and creatives.”

The setting — his apartment — is practically a museum, covered wall to ceiling with framed restaurant reviews, a plaque from Ms. Morrison and paintings, some of which are portraits and caricatures of Mr. Smalls by friends. Tables are piled with art books, cookbooks and novels stacked seven deep. It’s the kind of place that begs for annotation, which Mr. Smalls willingly provides.

As he divulged family secrets, the photographer Dario Calmese was chatting in the living room with Elijah Heyward III, a scholar of Southern African American culture, and Dr. Darien Sutton, an ABC medical correspondent. Conversation among another set of guests shifted to chatter about the chef and author Lazarus Lynch. Did you hear he plans to get his master’s degree in sociology?

“He went to Buffalo State, and I went to Fredonia College,” said Nia Drummond, a jazz and opera singer.

Mr. Smalls, hovering nearby, perked up. “I made my debut with the Buffalo symphony with Michael Tilson Thomas in the late ’70s. The photo is right there,” he said, pointing to the wall displaying a photo of the famed conductor and Mr. Smalls. “I was 24 years old.”

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“I didn’t know he was in Buffalo,” Ms. Drummond said.

Mr. Smalls looked at his empty glass.

“I need some more bourbon before I tell you that story,” he said.

At about 8 o’clock, Mr. Smalls stood and beckoned guests toward the dining room hidden by green velvet curtains that he pulled back.

“Please, ladies, take it away,” he said to the chefs who were standing before the table.

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“We have quite a spread for you guys tonight,” said Ms. Wilmot, whose parents grew up in Ghana.

Among the dishes on the table: Ghanaian buns bread made with nutmeg and evaporated milk, omo tuo (rice balls), nkate nkwan (peanut butter soup) and Ethiopian gomen (collard greens). The branzino was dressed half with Ghanaian green shito pepper sauce and half with doro wat, the national dish of Ethiopia.

“We wanted to create a dish that represented both of us,” said Ms. Abdullahi, who spent her childhood in Ethiopia, the other side of the continent from her co-chef’s family ties to Africa. “As gorgeous as this is, it tells a story of East meets West.”

“Can we eat now?” Michelle Miller, the “CBS Saturday Morning” co-host, interrupted, and everyone laughed.

Guests spread out across the two small living rooms with plates in their laps. A late arrival slipped in, a coconut cake in her arms, prompting whispers. Was that the soprano Kathleen Battle, the one who commanded a standing ovation last year at the Met? (It was.)

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Plates were cleared, and Jim Herbert, a fashion consultant, slid behind the piano and started playing. Mr. Smalls sat down in the living room and began to riff along.

“This is out of a book,” said ruby onyinyechi amanze, an artist who spells her name in lower case. She had driven from Philadelphia to attend the dinner and marveled at the scene.

After a few minutes, Ms. Drummond walked into the room.

“You know, I feel like I want to take the piano. Jimmy, move your ass,” she said before sitting at the keys and launching into a Billie Holiday song followed by a spiritual.

She finished and stood up to a stunned room.

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“Let the church say amen,” Mr. Smalls said.

In unison, the partygoers responded: “Amen.”

New York

Vote For the Best Metropolitan Diary Entry of 2025

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Vote For the Best Metropolitan Diary Entry of 2025

Every week since 1976, Metropolitan Diary has published stories by, and for, New Yorkers of all ages and eras (no matter where they live now): anecdotes and memories, quirky encounters and overheard snippets that reveal the city’s spirit and heart.

For the past four years, we’ve asked for your help picking the best Diary entry of the year. Now we’re asking again.

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We’ve narrowed the field to the five finalists here. Read them and vote for your favorite. The author of the item that gets the most votes will receive a print of the illustration that accompanied it, signed by the artist, Agnes Lee.

The voting closes at 11:59 p.m. on Sunday, Dec. 21. You can change your vote as many times as you’d like until then, but you may only pick one. Choose wisely.

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Click “VOTE” to choose your favorite Metropolitan Diary entry of 2025, and come back on Sunday, Dec. 28, to see which one our readers picked as their favorite.

Click “VOTE” to choose your favorite Metropolitan Diary entry of 2025, and come back on Sunday, Dec. 28, to see which one our readers picked as their favorite.

Two Stops

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Dear Diary:

It was a drizzly June night in 2001. I was a young magazine editor and had just enjoyed what I thought was a very blissful second date — dinner, drinks, fabulous conversation — with our technology consultant at a restaurant in Manhattan.

I lived in Williamsburg at the time, and my date lived near Murray Hill, so we grabbed a cab and headed south on Second Avenue.

“Just let me out here,” my date said to the cabby at the corner of 25th Street.

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We said our goodbyes, quick and shy, knowing that we would see each other at work the next day. I was giddy and probably grinning with happiness and hope.

“Oh boy,” the cabby said, shaking his head as we drove toward Brooklyn. “Very bad.”

“What do you mean?” I asked in horror.

“He doesn’t want you to know exactly where he lives,” the cabby said. “Not a good sign.”

I spent the rest of the cab ride in shock, revisiting every moment of the date.

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Happily, it turned out that my instinct about it being a great date was right, and the cabby was wrong. Twenty-four years later, my date that night is my husband, and I know that if your stop is first, it’s polite to get out so the cab can continue in a straight line to the next stop.

— Ingrid Spencer

Ferry Farewell

Ferry Farewell

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Dear Diary:

On a February afternoon, I met my cousins at the Staten Island Ferry Terminal. Their spouses and several of our very-grown children were there too. I brought Prosecco, a candle, a small speaker to play music, photos and a poem.

We were there to recreate the wedding cruise of my mother, Monica, and my stepfather, Peter. They had gotten married at City Hall in August 1984. She was 61, and he, 71. It was her first marriage, and his fourth.

I was my mother’s witness that day. It was a late-in-life love story, and they were very happy. Peter died in 1996, at 82. My mother died last year. She was 100.

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Peter’s ashes had waited a long time, but finally they were mingled with Monica’s. The two of them would ride the ferry a last time and then swirl together in the harbor forever. Cue the candles, bubbly, bagpipes and poems.

Two ferry workers approached us. We knew we were in trouble: Open containers and open flames were not allowed on the ferry.

My cousin’s husband, whispering, told the workers what we were doing and said we would be finished soon.

They walked off, and then returned. They said they had spoken to the captain, and they ushered us to the stern for some privacy. As the cup of ashes flew into the water, the ferry horn sounded two long blasts.

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— Caitlin Margaret May

Unacceptable

Unacceptable

Dear Diary:

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I went to a new bagel store in Brooklyn Heights with my son.

When it was my turn to order, I asked for a cinnamon raisin bagel with whitefish salad and a slice of red onion.

The man behind the counter looked up at me.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I can’t do that.”

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— Richie Powers

Teresa

Teresa

Dear Diary:

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It was February 2013. With a foot of snow expected, I left work early and drove from New Jersey warily as my wipers squeaked and snow and ice stuck to my windows.

I drove east on the Cross Bronx Expressway, which was tied up worse than usual. Trucks groaned on either side of my rattling Toyota. My fingers were cold. My toes were colder. Got to get home before it really comes down, I thought to myself.

By the time I got home to my little red bungalow a stone’s throw from the Throgs Neck Bridge, the snow was already up to my ankles.

Inside, I took off my gloves, hat, scarf, coat, sweater, pants and snow boots. The bed, still unmade, was inviting me. But first, I checked my messages.

There was one from Teresa, the 92-year-old widow on the corner.

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“Call me,” she said, sounding desperate.

I looked toward the warm bed, but … Teresa. There was a storm outside, and she was alone.

On went the pants, the sweater, the coat, the scarf, the boots and the gloves, and then I went out the door.

The snow was six inches deep on the sidewalks, so I tottered on tire tracks in the middle of the street. The wind stung my face. When I got to the end of the block, I pounded on her door.

“Teresa!” I called. No answer. “Teresa!” I called again. I heard the TV blaring. Was she sprawled on the floor?

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I went next door and called for Kathy.

“Teresa can’t answer the door,” I said. “Probably fell.”

Kathy had a key. In the corner of her neat living room, Teresa, in pink sweatpants and sweaters, was sitting curled in her armchair, head bent down and The Daily News in her lap.

I snapped off the TV.

Startled, she looked up.

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“Kathy! Neal!” she said. “What’s a five-letter word for cabbage?”

— Neal Haiduck

Nice Place

Nice Place

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Dear Diary:

When I lived in Park Slope over 20 years ago, I once had to call an ambulance because of a sudden, violent case of food poisoning.

Two paramedics, a man and a woman, entered our third-floor walk-up with a portable chair. Strapping me in, the male medic quickly inserted an IV line into my arm.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see his partner circling around and admiring the apartment.

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“Nice place you’ve got here.” she said. “Do you own it?”

“Yeah,” I muttered, all but unconscious.

Once I was in the ambulance, she returned to her line of inquiry.

“Do you mind me asking how much you paid for your apartment?”

“$155,000,” I croaked.

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“Wow! You must have bought during the recession.”

“Yeah” I said.

They dropped me off at Methodist Hospital, where I was tended to by a nurse as I struggled to stay lucid.

At some point, the same medic poked her head into the room with one last question:

“You wouldn’t be wanting to sell any time soon, would you?”

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— Melinda DeRocker

Illustrations by Agnes Lee.

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They Witness Deaths on the Tracks and Then Struggle to Get Help

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They Witness Deaths on the Tracks and Then Struggle to Get Help

‘Part of the job’

Edwin Guity was at the controls of a southbound D train last December, rolling through the Bronx, when suddenly someone was on the tracks in front of him.

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He jammed on the emergency brake, but it was too late. The man had gone under the wheels.

Stumbling over words, Mr. Guity radioed the dispatcher and then did what the rules require of every train operator involved in such an incident. He got out of the cab and went looking for the person he had struck.

“I didn’t want to do it,” Mr. Guity said later. “But this is a part of the job.”

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He found the man pinned beneath the third car. Paramedics pulled him out, but the man died at the hospital. After that, Mr. Guity wrestled with what to do next.

A 32-year-old who had once lived in a family shelter with his parents, he viewed the job as paying well and offering a rare chance at upward mobility. It also helped cover the costs of his family’s groceries and rent in the three-bedroom apartment they shared in Brooklyn.

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But striking the man with the train had shaken him more than perhaps any other experience in his life, and the idea of returning to work left him feeling paralyzed.

Edwin Guity was prescribed exposure therapy after his train struck a man on the tracks.

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Hundreds of train operators have found themselves in Mr. Guity’s position over the years.

And for just as long, there has been a path through the state workers’ compensation program to receiving substantive treatment to help them cope. But New York’s train operators say that their employer, the Metropolitan Transportation Authority, has done too little to make them aware of that option.

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After Mr. Guity’s incident, no official told him of that type of assistance, he said. Instead, they gave him the option of going back to work right away.

But Mr. Guity was lucky. He had a friend who had been through the same experience and who coached him on getting help — first through a six-week program and then, with the assistance of a lawyer, through an experienced specialist.

The specialist prescribed a six-month exposure therapy program to gradually reintroduce Mr. Guity to the subway.

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His first day back at the controls of a passenger train was on Thanksgiving. Once again, he was driving on the D line — the same route he had been traveling on the day of the fatal accident.

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Mr. Guity helps care for his 93-year-old grandmother, Juanita Guity.

M.T.A. representatives insisted that New York train operators involved in strikes are made aware of all options for getting treatment, but they declined to answer specific questions about how the agency ensures that drivers get the help they need.

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In an interview, the president of the M.T.A. division that runs the subway, Demetrius Crichlow, said all train operators are fully briefed on the resources available to them during their job orientation.

“I really have faith in our process,” Mr. Crichlow said.

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Still, other transit systems — all of which are smaller than New York’s — appear to do a better job of ensuring that operators like Mr. Guity take advantage of the services available to them, according to records and interviews.

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An Uptick in Subway Strikes

A Times analysis shows that the incidents were on the rise in New York City’s system even as they were falling in all other American transit systems.

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Source: Federal Transit Administration.

Note: Transit agencies report “Major Safety and Security Events” to the F.T.A.’s National Transit Database. The Times’s counts include incidents categorized as rail collisions with persons, plus assaults, homicides and attempted suicides with event descriptions mentioning a train strike. For assaults, The Times used an artificial intelligence model to identify relevant descriptions and then manually reviewed the results.

Bianca Pallaro/The New York Times

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San Francisco’s system provides 24-hour access to licensed therapists through a third-party provider.

Los Angeles proactively reaches out to its operators on a regular basis to remind them of workers’ compensation options and other resources.

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The Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority has made it a goal to increase engagement with its employee assistance program.

The M.T.A. says it offers some version of most of these services.

But in interviews with more than two dozen subway operators who have been involved in train strikes, only one said he was aware of all those resources, and state records suggest most drivers of trains that strike people are not taking full advantage of them.

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“It’s the M.T.A.’s responsibility to assist the employee both mentally and physically after these horrific events occur,” the president of the union that represents New York City transit workers, John V. Chiarello, said in a statement, “but it is a constant struggle trying to get the M.T.A. to do the right thing.”

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Video: Protesters Arrested After Trying to Block a Possible ICE Raid

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Video: Protesters Arrested After Trying to Block a Possible ICE Raid

new video loaded: Protesters Arrested After Trying to Block a Possible ICE Raid

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transcript

Protesters Arrested After Trying to Block a Possible ICE Raid

Nearly 200 protesters tried to block federal agents from leaving a parking garage in Lower Manhattan on Saturday. The confrontation appeared to prevent a possible ICE raid nearby, and led to violent clashes between the police and protesters.

[chanting] “ICE out of New York.”

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Nearly 200 protesters tried to block federal agents from leaving a parking garage in Lower Manhattan on Saturday. The confrontation appeared to prevent a possible ICE raid nearby, and led to violent clashes between the police and protesters.

By Jorge Mitssunaga

November 30, 2025

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