How can people possibly afford to live in one of the most expensive cities on the planet? It’s a question New Yorkers hear a lot, often delivered with a mix of awe, pity and confusion.

We surveyed hundreds of New Yorkers about how they spend, splurge and save. We found that many people — rich, poor or somewhere in between — live life as a series of small calculations that add up to one big question: What makes living in New York worth it?

Ever since she was a child growing up in Guilford, Conn., Molly Culver wanted to live in New York City, “come hell or high water,” as she remembers it.

She was never under any illusion that it would be easy, but for years, she was managing well. She spent nearly a decade running an urban farm, teaching classes on farming and growing her floral business, which meant she was bringing in about $50,000 a year.

A few years ago, Ms. Culver, 44, turned her floral business, Molly Oliver Flowers, into a full-time job.

She sells flowers sourced from nearby farms for events, and also runs a subscription service in which customers sign up for weekly flower deliveries. When weddings and parties started back up after the Covid pandemic, she was able to pay herself as much as $62,000 before taxes one year. But then the economy soured, and clients pulled back on nonessentials.

Last year, Ms. Culver put nearly all the money she earned back into her business. She paid herself a salary of about $23,000 and took roughly $22,000 from her savings, more than half of her nest egg, to stay afloat.

Priced out of the housing market

After the pandemic, Ms. Culver was newly single and no longer splitting rent with her former partner. She soon realized she could no longer afford to pay market rent.

As she searched for housing, she said, “I was looking for the miracle that only happens through word of mouth in this city.”

First, Ms. Culver spent a few years renting a 150-square-foot room with a twin bed in a friend’s home for $40 a night, which did not include cooking privileges. (She typically spent a few nights a week there, and the rest of the week at her mother’s house in Connecticut.)

Last year, after her friend said she needed the room back, a different friend mentioned she had a spare room to rent out in her home in Ditmas Park, Brooklyn.

It was $600 a month, more than Ms. Culver was used to paying, but much cheaper than anything else she could find.

Ms. Culver’s housing setup shows what it takes for many people to afford housing in New York: The family that owns the home lives downstairs with their two small children. Ms. Culver and three other tenants rent rooms on the two top floors.