New Jersey
New Jersey’s favorite dad jokes
What could be better on Father’s Day than a good Dad joke? If only there was one. Dads have been trying since time began to make their families laugh. I know. I’m a Dad, Many times my wife has looked at me in the heat of an argument and said and said “Don’t make me laugh” But being the dad that I am. I try anyway.
I’m not the only one you know. a New study explores the best Dad joke or “Dadism” in each state. I didn’t even know that there was a “Dadism.”
Here are New Jersey’s Top 5 Dad jokes or phrases according to Rebecca from richfieldresearch.org.
1. We’re not lost, we’re taking the scenic route.
2. Hi Hungry, I’m Dad.
3. Money doesn’t grow on trees.
4. If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?
5. What’s the plan, Stan?
When I asked my very funny following for their best Dad jokes, they did not let me down. Remember “ITZ 2 LAFF”
Rich Carucci
The night before I got married my father gave me some great advice. He said Son never forget you can’t rationalize with Drunks. Now shut up and get me another Drink!!
Steve Young
I hope the rain keeps up… So it doesn’t come down
Steve Young
I could go for a gratchkee. (What’s a gratchkee?) The litte metal things that open a garage door.
Andrea Aj Jones
This was my brother’s favorite joke when he was about 3 years old. Of course it was a dad joke…
What’s purple and goes buzz buzz buzz?
An electric plum.
Ouch.
Walt Wormann
Why did the turtle cross the street? To get to the shell station
Bill Kress
When does a joke become a dad joke ?
When the joke becomes apparent
Joe Conte
I wrote this dad Joke :
What do you call a car chase in Italy ?
A Hot Procutti ( pronounced Prashoot)
Joe Conte
Here’s another one I write :
What is the Pope’s favorite cigarettes ?
Holy Smokes
Chris McKelvey
What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?
Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant dead ant dead ant!
Chuck Homler
Atheism is a non-prophet organization
Comic Dave Evans
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack
Russell Bien
“Dad, I’m hungry”
Hi Hungry, I’m dad
Steve Odabashian
I wrote this one years ago.
What is the name of Superman’s dog?
Bark Kent.
Woof!
Brian T Nolan
Every morning of his adult life my Dad would open the newspaper to the obituary page and say to whomever was within earshot “Damn! They did it again.” Somebody would invariably ask “Who did what, Dad?” Dad would calmly reply “All these people died in alphabetic order. Same thing every day.
Mitchell Jay
Here’s one of my originals…
My GPS brought me to the wrong place, I now see the error of my Waze
Anthony Barberio
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
“Aye, matey”
Anthony Barberio
Did you hear about the guy who killed captain crunch and toucan Sam?
He was a real cereal killer
Anthony Barberio
Now that weed is legal I invited a bunch of my stoner friends over for dinner
We called it a pot luck
Anthony Barberio
Bon Jovi was late to meet me for dinner. I called him and asked where he was
He said “we’re halfway there”
Anthony Pascale
Why was dad sad on Father’s Day? He got a sweater but he wanted a moaner.
and on that note….Happy Father’s Day!
25 richest families in America
NJ’s crazy haze, choking smoke, and sinister sky
Opinions expressed in the post above are those of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Steve Trevelise only. Follow him on Twitter @realstevetrev.
You can now listen to Steve Trevelise — On Demand! Discover more about New Jersey’s personalities and what makes the Garden State interesting. Download the Steve Trevelise show wherever you get podcasts, on our free app, or listen right now.
Report a correction 👈 | 👉 Contact our newsroom
New Jersey
'They found us': Coast guard crew in New Jersey reports mysterious drones, alleges White House cover up – Times of India
Coast guardsmen from Barnegat Light, New Jersey, are voicing frustration after federal officials dismissed their accounts of being followed by a fleet of drones while patrolling the Atlantic Ocean earlier this month.
A Coast guard member, speaking anonymously, shared his disbelief, stating, “It’s the implication that’s insulting.”
“It’s implying we’re making things up, when the ones making up things are down in Washington, DC.”
The sailor’s comments came shortly after the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) imposed temporary flight restrictions over parts of New Jersey and New York. He was among 12 crew members aboard the 47-foot rescue vessel that encountered the drones on the evening of the sighting.
“We were actually out there to see if we could spot any drones, because of all these sightings,” the sailor explained. “Well, we found some drones. Or more accurately, they found us.”
According to the sailor, the drones appeared suddenly around 9 pm and followed the vessel for about 15 minutes. The drone swarm mirrored the boat’s movements, shifting direction as the boat did. “They had four propellers, about seven feet across, with festive red, green, and white flashing lights,” he said. The drones flew at an estimated 80 to 100 feet above the vessel.
The swarm kept pace with the Department of Homeland Security boat, which was travelling at around 20 knots (just over 20 miles per hour). The drones eventually ascended, climbing an additional 100 feet before veering left towards the shoreline and disappearing from sight.
The sailor is adamant that these were no ordinary commercial drones. “Commercial airplanes don’t move like that. We know what drones look and sound like,” he said.
However, White House spokesman John Kirby downplayed the Coast Guard’s account, suggesting the drones could have been a mix of commercial, hobbyist, and law enforcement drones, as well as aircraft and even stars mistakenly identified as drones. Kirby stated that the sightings presented no national security or public safety threat, and suggested that the Coast Guard might have confused incoming airliners with drones.
The Coast Guardsman disagreed, saying, “I can’t pretend to know what’s going on, but those weren’t the types of drones you can buy at the store. These were government drones.”
The sailor added, “I don’t care what Kirby or [DHS head Alejandro] Mayorkas say — they’re full of sh-t.” He stressed that while their orders were to observe and not engage with the drones, they would have taken defensive action if the drones had acted aggressively.
Local officials, including Representatives Chris Smith and Jeff Van Drew, have criticised the federal response, demanding a clear explanation for the mysterious drone activity, the New York Post quoted.
Since November 18, more than 1,000 drone sightings have been reported over New Jersey, with dozens more in New York’s airspace, raising growing concerns over the presence of drones in civilian airspace. Federal authorities, however, maintain that the sightings pose no security threat.
New Jersey
Winter begins with overnight snow, frigid temps
Winter — and the weekend before Christmas — kicked off in New Jersey with residents across a wide swath of the region waking up Saturday morning to find snow on the ground.
And frigid temperatures are next.
An overnight storm coated the region from North Jersey to the Philadelphia metro area with anywhere from an inch to 5 1/2 inches of snow as the first day of the winter season arrived — and as people continue traveling for the holidays. There was snow in 13 counties in the Garden State.
Lingering flurries are possible across the eastern part of the state, though light snow is expected to taper off everywhere in the morning, according to the National Weather Service.
Meanwhile, an arctic air mass is forecast to bring “brisk and cold conditions” across the region the rest of the weekend, the weather service said.
High temperatures are expected to range from the 20s north of Interstate 78 to the low 30s south of the highway, while lows will fall into the teens, according to forecasters. There will also be blustery conditions in the afternoon, with wind gusts between 15 and 35 miles per hour.
Temperatures in New Jersey in late December normally reach the low 40s during the day and around 30 degrees overnight.
The snow and cold could cause slippery road conditions, though it’s more likely snow accumulated on grass, according to AccuWeather. The cold temperatures also mean the snow could stick around as Christmas and Hanukkah begin arrive this week.
Looking ahead, next week is also expected to be cold, with highs stuck in the 30s, according to forecasts. There is also a chance for light snow Tuesday morning — Christmas Eve — especially in North Jersey. Christmas is expected to be sunny and seasonable Wednesday.
Although it’s not an official weather term, the National Weather Service defines a white Christmas as having just 1 inch or more of snow on the ground on the morning of Dec. 25 — either fresh snow or lingering snow from a previous storm.
Current weather radar
Thank you for relying on us to provide the local news you can trust. Please consider supporting NJ.com with a voluntary subscription.
NJ Advance Media staff writer Len Melisurgo contributed to this report.
Brent Johnson may be reached at bjohnson@njadvancemedia.com. Follow him on X at @johnsb01.
New Jersey
Party City announces mass layoffs at New Jersey headquarters, email shows
WOODCLIFF LAKE, N.J. — Party City issued mass layoffs at its New Jersey headquarters, according to an email sent to employees.
All 850 Party City stores will be closing soon after nearly 40 years in business, according to CNN.
“I think it’s a shame because I grew up going to Party City as a child and it’s somewhere I used to look forward to for parties,” said Stephanie Campos, of New York City.
Campos was buying balloons at the Party City on West 14th Street in Greenwich Village when she heard about the chain’s reported closures.
“I’m thankful for the memories they gave me,” Campos said.
New Jersey Party City employees laid off in mass email
Corporate employees at Party City’s headquarters in Woodcliff Lake, New Jersey received an email Friday saying it was their last day after the company made the decision to conduct mass layoffs.
The company recently came out of bankruptcy, but has faced tough competition from online retailers.
“The convenience, especially in a city like New York, the convenience of ordering what you need, having delivered,” said Jared Barnett.
Barnett wanted to visit his neighborhood store one more time for a final farewell.
“I came to say goodbye. A lot of memories, you know, from growing up to planning socials at my fraternity. So just to come back one more time,” he said.
Customers at the West 14th Street Party City said employees told them the location is closing by March 31. Merchandise is marked down in the meantime.
Party City did not respond to our request for comment.
-
Politics1 week ago
Canadian premier threatens to cut off energy imports to US if Trump imposes tariff on country
-
Technology1 week ago
Inside the launch — and future — of ChatGPT
-
Technology1 week ago
OpenAI cofounder Ilya Sutskever says the way AI is built is about to change
-
Politics1 week ago
U.S. Supreme Court will decide if oil industry may sue to block California's zero-emissions goal
-
Technology1 week ago
Meta asks the US government to block OpenAI’s switch to a for-profit
-
Politics1 week ago
Conservative group debuts major ad buy in key senators' states as 'soft appeal' for Hegseth, Gabbard, Patel
-
Business6 days ago
Freddie Freeman's World Series walk-off grand slam baseball sells at auction for $1.56 million
-
Technology6 days ago
Meta’s Instagram boss: who posted something matters more in the AI age