Connecticut
How is the CT ‘red flag’ law being used by police? This is what an analysis shows.
After Michael Mollow voluntarily committed himself to Midstate Medical Center in Meriden in August 2022, the hospital alerted Branford police that he’d told the staff he had “homicidal ideations” toward his girlfriend and had guns at home to carry them out.
The department was familiar with Mollow. Days before he entered the hospital, his 21-year-old girlfriend, Caroline Anne Ashworth, called 911 because he threatened to shoot her in the head.
Within days of his committal, Midstate Medical officials decided Mollow needed treatment in a secure facility and issued what’s known as a 15-day involuntary physician’s emergency certificate. Mollow was transferred to a psychiatric facility in Westport on Aug. 24, 2022, and was supposed to remain there until Sept. 7, 2022, according to court documents. But he was in the Westport facility for less than 33 hours before he was released.
Just one day after his release, on Aug. 27, 2022, Mollow tracked Ashworth, using GPS he had installed in her truck, to an apartment in Wethersfield. He killed her there, shooting her three times before killing himself.
The actions of Branford police and St. Vincent’s Medical Center, where Mollow had been committed, are now the subject of a pending lawsuit filed by the young woman’s family. The lawsuit alleges that both the police and the hospital failed to protect her from Mollow despite the warning signs.
But some say the tragedy could have been avoided if the police had simply made use of Connecticut’s “red flag” law, designed to get guns out of the hands of people who pose a risk to themselves or others.
An analysis by The Connecticut Mirror and a team of University of Connecticut journalism students shows its use remains wildly uneven among police departments, even nearly 25 years after it went into effect and a number of modifications. While there are some concerns the law is being overused, some police departments use it rarely if at all.
Steep increase in risk protection order
An analysis of thousands of court documents submitted by police from October 1999 through December 2023 shows that even as lawmakers over the past few years expanded the circumstances in which police can get a risk protection order, how police departments use them varies widely.
Last year, more than 2,000 risk protection orders were issued, a steep increase.
Bridgeport police did not issue one RPO in 2023, records show, a number the president of the Connecticut Police Chiefs Association said was hard to believe.
Meanwhile, University of Connecticut police issued 58 risk protection orders against students from June 2022 through the end of 2023. None of them involved guns, and all but one was dismissed 14 days later when the student appeared before a Superior Court judge.
The law took effect in October 1999, but it wasn’t until 2011 that risk protection orders issued by all police departments surpassed 100 in one year.
The number slowly increased until changes were first made to the law in 2021. Since then, the numbers have increased from 222 orders that year to 830 orders in 2022 to over 2,200 last year.
The majority of the more recent orders involved people who are suicidal and struggling with mental health issues and substance abuse, the analysis shows. Many also involve domestic violence.
And in many of the newer cases, the subject of the order does not have a gun — though the order also prevents them from legally obtaining a firearm by entering their name in a national database that bars them from getting a gun permit.
Former state Rep. Michael Lawlor, who helped craft the law, said he wonders if the changes in the law and the way police now use it could lead to a constitutional challenge from gun rights organizations.
“The essence of the law, which is that as a last resort, if police had no other option, they’ve got this option, has changed,” Lawlor said. “I just worry that maybe the watering down of the procedural requirements to get a risk warrant could open the door to a potential legal challenge.”
“The law existed pretty much unchanged for more than 20 years until they started making some modifications to it, and I don’t really think those were either necessary or a good idea,” Lawlor said.
A typical week
Meriden led the state last year in the number of risk protection orders issued.
Under the law, once an order is issued, the state must hold a hearing within 14 days before a judge to determine if the order should be removed or extended.
In most of Meriden’s cases, the analysis shows, the person under the order showed up without a lawyer — if they showed up at all — and the prosecutor had a police officer testify about the affidavit they had submitted to get the order.
The week before Easter in April 2023, when Meriden police sought 14 risk protection orders, exemplified the types of cases police investigated and what happens when the person who gets the risk protection order, or RPO, goes to court.
There were cases such as a 19-year-old man who allegedly threatened to kill his mother because he didn’t like the sneakers she bought him for his birthday, and there was a 59-year-old man who had been drinking with a friend and allegedly fired a gun loaded with blanks out the window of his second-floor apartment on Broad Street, according to court records.
Other orders were related to a domestic abuse case where a 37-year-old man allegedly assaulted his mother and aunt then tried to kill himself in a jail cell, and an 11-year-old sixth-grader who allegedly had a meltdown at school, attacking the school psychologist, screaming at a police officer to shoot him and threatening to shoot up the school and then kill himself, records show.
Of the 14 RPO cases that week, there was only one case where a person actually had a gun. The man who fired the blank also allegedly had a loaded .22-caliber revolver in an open drawer near where a young child was playing.
Court records show the week was not an anomaly for the Meriden police department, which issued more RPOs than any police department in 2023.
During that year, police sought RPOs 2,283 times, according to state judicial data.
Meriden led the way with 270 cases.
“We just follow the law,” said Meriden Police Chief Roberto Rosado, who was reluctant to discuss why his department sought so many orders.
Rosado said he didn’t want to appear to be criticizing other police departments that issue fewer orders.
Court records show over that one-year span, smaller departments like Newington, Wolcott and Watertown sought from 50 to 71 RPOs each, while the state’s largest cities — Bridgeport, New Haven, Stamford, Hartford and Waterbury — combined for just 97.
Bridgeport Deputy Police Chief James Baraja said his department recently sent a couple of officers to a seminar on how to deal with calls involving people with mental health issues. The topic of risk protection orders came up.
“I know officers recognize the need, it’s just a matter of us dealing with our workflow issues,” Baraja said.
The deputy chief said the department is shorthanded overall.
“I would love to have a crisis intervention team that would include an officer or officers to handle these cases, but it’s hard to allocate resources,” Baraja said.
Bridgeport’s Director of Public Information Tiadora Josef said that as a result of that recent training, “We will be looking to review and modify our practices and issue a training bulletin.”
Avon Police Chief Paul J. Melanson, president of the Connecticut Police Chiefs Association, said part of the discrepancy in use of the law may just be the size of the department.
“I think the smaller agencies are able to pivot quicker to do these RPOs and create a process, while the larger agencies — they’re stacking calls for hours and maybe don’t have the capacity,” Melanson said.
But he acknowledged the gap, particularly when it comes to larger cities, is concerning.
“I will have a conversation with them just to make sure that they’re aware of what is expected of them,” Melanson said. “Because to your point that Bridgeport has zero — I don’t think any of us would believe that they shouldn’t have done at least one in this past year.”
Lawlor said that in larger cities, police may be charging people with other crimes that allow them to seize their guns.
For some departments, it may simply be an issue of protecting people’s constitutional rights, he said.
“I think there are definitely some individual police officers and police departments that have strong views about gun rights, and they are reluctant to seize someone’s guns because they just think it’s somehow unconstitutional or an invasion of someone’s privacy,” Lawlor said. “So I definitely believe there’s some departments that are kind of conflicted about whether or not this is the right thing to do.”
‘I can’t believe I shot him’
A smaller but notable number of cases involve people who have had multiple RPOs issued against them. Many cases involve people who are distraught and mentally ill and have been drinking or taking drugs.
For example, there’s the case of a Newington woman who had four RPOs issued in six months.
The first order was issued after Newington police received a 911 call in August 2022 from the woman, who said she had cut herself. One of the officers recognized her — she had been committed five times earlier that year for self-harm and suicidal thoughts.
Although the woman had no gun, the officers issued a risk protection order and took her to the hospital for an examination. Five months later, police answered another call after the woman called a suicide hotline.
Even though the first RPO was still pending at that point, police sought a second order, “which may assist in keeping the subject of the RPO and the community safer for longer,” the police affidavit said.
Two weeks later, the suicide hotline operator called the police again. This time, the woman told officers that during her recent hospital stay, she was given new medication that was causing her to have suicidal thoughts, including voices telling her to get a gun and kill other people.
But she couldn’t get a gun even if she wanted to, she told police, because of an RPO issued two weeks earlier; in fact, she had a court hearing that day on the order. Nevertheless, police issued a third RPO and, after she called again two days later to report similar hallucinations, the fourth order was issued.
While that case didn’t involve guns, many of them do. Sometimes many weapons are seized and ultimately returned to the person.
In at least one instance, that had deadly consequences.
In August 2012, Bristol police arrived at Sam’s Food Store on West Washington Street to investigate a report of an intoxicated man threatening people with a shotgun.
Police interviewed Chad Couture, who admitted he had several firearms in his nearby house. When police entered his house, Couture grabbed a loaded shotgun in the kitchen. After a struggle, Couture was arrested, and police found a total of six guns in the home. They got a risk protection order and a warrant to seize them.
Four years later, Bristol police were called to a shooting on Woodland Street. When they arrived, they found Daniel Caron bleeding from a gunshot wound to the chest. He died at the hospital.
Couture was standing there and told police, “I shot him. It was an accident. I can’t believe I shot him,” court documents show.
Couture said he was at his parents’ house and, while locking up several weapons, placed a handgun in his waistband. Couture didn’t explain to police why he pulled out the handgun or how he came to shoot Caron.
He was charged with first-degree manslaughter and eventually sentenced to 15 years in prison. When police obtained an RPO that allowed him to search his parents’ house, they found 21 guns, including several that had been seized years earlier.
Melanson said while police may be familiar with someone who gets multiple orders, each case is handled separately, because police don’t know what happens when cases go to court.
“So each police department wants to make sure that they cover each incident that happened, because maybe if you have another incident with the same person where before a prosecutor or a judge were going to remove the RPO, they may now take a look at it again and say, ‘Wait a second,’” Melanson said.
Trying to find their way
Connecticut became the first state in the nation to pass a red flag law in 1999, the year after disgruntled employee Matthew Beck, 35, stabbed and gunned down four of his bosses at the Connecticut Lottery headquarters before turning the gun on himself.
There had been warning signs, or red flags, in the months leading up to the shootings. Beck had been on leave and angry at being passed over for a promotion, moved back in with his parents, attempted suicide and began acquiring firearms. His family had gone to the police, who said there was nothing they could do because Beck hadn’t broken any laws.
The circumstances raised a question for Lawlor: “Could we create a constitutional mechanism to use when presented with credible evidence that a person poses a credible risk to themselves or others and has access to firearms?” he said.
Lawlor assumed that the law would be used a handful of times a year, and that was true at first. But over time, as public awareness, and shootings, rose, so did the number of risk protection orders — spiking after mass shootings such as Virginia Tech in 2007 and again after the Sandy Hook elementary school shooting in Newtown in 2012.
In 2021, believing that the law was underused, Connecticut lawmakers updated it.
The new law expanded usage to cases involving juveniles and where no gun is present. It also allows health care professionals, social workers and family members to appeal directly to the courts if they feel the police aren’t being responsive.
The changes, which took effect June 1, 2022, led to a surge in cases.
From 96 RPOs in the first five months of the year, before the changes, the number of cases soared to 734 in the last seven months of 2022, according to state data obtained by the CT Mirror.
Most cases are still initiated by the police; the CT Mirror found only one case, a man in New Haven who reported his brother, where someone bypassed the police — the ones who ultimately have to seize the weapon.
But while the law was designed to prevent mass shootings, the CT Mirror found that many of the recent cases where risk protection orders were issued were for people deemed a threat to themselves. In many instances, the person does not have a gun, but an order is sought anyway as a precaution to prevent the person from being able to legally obtain a gun.
Lawlor understands the intent of the law, but worries that it goes too far by leading to RPOs in cases where it is unnecessary.
For instance, it’s already illegal for someone under the age of 21 to buy a gun. If someone waves a gun at a spouse, or around a child, or under the influence of drugs or alcohol, the police have probable cause to obtain a warrant or make an arrest to seize the gun or prevent them from being able to obtain a permit in the future.
“The law was designed for when police have no other options,” Lawlor said. “I understand the rationale for changing the law, but I worry that they’ve made it more complicated than it needs to be. If I’m a police officer reading this law, I might be confused — what am I supposed to do here?”
Manchester police spokesman Lt. Neil Reinhart said the changes in the law do make it difficult at times for police departments.
“I think with these new laws, all the updates, everyone’s just trying to find their way, and I think that’s probably a good reason why you see some discrepancies,” Rienart said.
For Manchester police, every case that involves a possible mental health issue or a possible suicide risk gets evaluated on a case-by-case basis. They have issued just over 40 RPOs in the past two years, records show.
“Not every mental health committal that we do requires an RPO, and not every RPO we issue comes from a committal,” Sgt. Neil Rodman said. “So there’s different situations that permit us to do it, and that’s ultimately at the discretion of the officer.”
Rodman is the department’s court liaison who talks with prosecutors about cases, including whether to seek a risk protection order.
“For our mental health evaluations, sometimes they might just not be medication compliant,” Rodman said. “You know, not making any type of suicidal thoughts, gestures, homicidal thoughts, behaviors, anything like that. We had a situation where we find a person in the middle of winter outside in next to no clothes standing in below-zero weather, and that would require a mental health evaluation but not a RPO.”
Worst nightmare: Cracks in the system
Once police issue a risk protection order, the subject of the order — whether they had a gun or not — is entitled to a hearing within 14 days, at which time the judge decides if the order should be upheld.
When the change first went into effect in 2022, judges were dismissing many of the RPOs after the initial court hearing if there were no guns involved. But in 2023, the data shows, judges upheld the order 1,960 times, while terminating just 234 orders.
Cheshire Police Chief Neil Dryfe said because police know the person’s name will get entered into the National Instant Criminal Background Check System, they are seeking the RPOs — even if they know someone doesn’t have a gun permit or own guns.
When police get the RPO, that person’s name must automatically be entered immediately into a national computer database, flagging them in background checks as ineligible to purchase firearms while their name remains in the database.
“Before (June 1), you’d go to somebody’s house, and if they were suicidal, you sent them to the hospital and asked them or their family members, ‘Are there any guns in the house,’” Dryfe said. “Then you’d see if they had any guns registered to them or if they had a pistol permit, and if they didn’t, you were done.”
But now Dryfe said police issue the RPO anyway, even if somebody doesn’t have guns so that they can be put into NCIS and precluded from getting a pistol permit at that point.
Melanson said his worst nightmare is to have a tragedy because someone slips through the cracks in the system.
“Those are the things that keep you up at night, the things you’re not aware of,” said Melanson. “I have told the officers who work for me, if there’s a question, we should be doing these. If we have somebody who’s a threat to themselves or others, we need to be doing the orders, because we do not want to find out later.”
Homicidal thoughts
Following Ashworth’s killing, Branford Police Chief Jon Mulhern ordered an internal affairs investigation that partly looked at why none of the officers involved in the case sought a risk protection order against Mollow.
The internal affairs investigation revealed that when Mollow voluntarily committed himself to Midstate Medical Center in Meriden on Aug. 23, he told the staff that he had “homicidal thoughts” towards Ashworth, who had broken up with him.
Carol Szymaszek, a crisis clinician at Midstate, notified Branford police the same day that Mollow was in their facility, that he had made threats towards Ashworth, and that he owned guns.
The case was assigned to Officer Robert Iovanna, who contacted Mollow’s ex-wife, who had driven Mollow to the hospital. But Iovanna never made contact with Ashworth or checked to see whether Mollow owned guns, according to the lawsuit.
A quick check with the state police would have revealed that Mollow had 20 guns registered in his name.
Iovanna did contact Szymaszek that day, who told him that Mollow was in a secure facility and that the average stay was four to seven days. She said that Ashworth was in Alabama helping a relative move, according to the internal affairs report.
During his internal affairs interview, Iovanna said he didn’t check if Mollow owned guns because “he was in a secure location, she was in Alabama, and I didn’t think there was an immediate threat at that time.”
Iovanna acknowledged in hindsight “he should have checked with his supervisor about pursuing a risk protection order.”
Iovanna closed his case two hours after opening it and submitted his report to Sgt. Stanley Konesky, who approved it, effectively closing the investigation.
In his interview, Konesky said, “The report was not adequate as written and that he would have demanded the seizure of firearms; if he knew Mollow owned them and that Mollow had homicidal ideations towards Ashworth.”
The next day, Szymaszek, the clinician, called Branford police back to inform them that Mollow was being transferred to St. Vincent’s Behavioral Health services in Westport.
Branford police were not aware that Mollow was released by St. Vincent’s less than two days later. They were unaware Mollow was not in a secure facility until Wethersfield police called the department the day Ashworth was killed.
Mulhern suspended Iovanna for 30 days without pay and Konesky for three days without pay.
Two days after Ashworth’s death, the Branford Police Department issued an RPO on a man who lived in Parkside Village.
Residents had complained numerous times about the behavior exhibited by man they alleged he had smeared jelly on neighbors’ windows and wrote threatening letters. When police determined the man owned guns, they issued the RPO and obtained a search warrant to seize guns from his mother’s home.
That RPO was one of 147 that Branford police have issued since Ashworth’s murder — the second-most of any department, surpassed only by Meriden police.
Mulhern said he couldn’t comment directly about the Ashworth case because of the pending lawsuit. He added the internal affairs investigation, which acknowledged the department should have gotten an RPO for Mollow, speaks for itself, as does the discipline for the officers.
But Mulhern said while it may appear that the killing and the department’s increased usage of RPOs are linked, they are not.
Mulhern said Branford historically has a very high number of mental health calls, and because of that, it was one of the first departments to hire a full-time social worker. In the last two years alone, the department has responded to more than 900 mental health calls, records show.
“Our increase in orders is strictly a byproduct of the number of mental health calls and domestic violence calls that we get,” Mulhern said.
The department has created a centralized office to handle all risk protection order cases, including dealing with prosecutors, but that wasn’t established until after Ashworth’s killing.
Good to pause
In 2023, the legislature tweaked the red flag law so police no longer have to seek RPOs against people who don’t have a gun and would be otherwise ineligible to legally obtain one — for instance, convicted felons and juveniles.
Melanson said the newest “tweak” should make “some of those high numbers come down.”
“What you should be seeing in the future is some of those agencies that had high numbers should be coming down a little bit, because they now don’t have to do an RPO if someone is already a convicted felon or a juvenile,” Melanson said.
The second update to the law by legislators went into effect last Oct. 1, and so far the number of orders are not subsiding. In the first two months of 2024, there were 338 risk protection orders issued, according to court records.
That puts the state on pace for about the same number of risk protection orders that were issued last year, even after the changes.
One department that hasn’t been impacted by the updated law is the University of Connecticut police department.
Records show that UConn police have sought far more RPOs than any other college police department and more than many municipal police departments.
Even after the updated law went into effect on Oct. 1 that states RPOs do not have to be issued for anyone under 21 years old — the legal age to buy a gun in Connecticut — UConn police have continued to issue them.
From Oct. 1 through the end of the year, UConn police issued 15 risk protection orders, court records show. All of them were for students under 21, records show.
Every case was dismissed by a judge when the students made their first appearance in Rockville Superior Court. None of them had guns.
Lawlor said the law was never intended to be used on 18-year-old students who legally can’t own a gun, although he understands why police are doing it: to cover themselves.
“You can now see the police saying, ‘OK, just to protect ourselves, let’s also do this, just in case this kid down the road somehow got access to a firearm and uses it, because we wouldn’t get accused of having dropped the ball,’” Lawlor said.
UConn Police Capt. Justin Gilbert said the department sees the RPOs as a way to diffuse potential crisis situations with students.
“It’s good to take a pause, when someone has been considered a threat to themselves or others. To at least take a period of time to have someone else look at it in the court, to evaluate whether they should have weapons moving forward, is still a good process,” Gilbert said.
He added campus police are well aware “there’s not too many people with gun safes in their room, for obvious reasons. It’s against the law to have those here on campus.”
As for the 2023 changes in the law, Gilbert said, “It is my understanding that the latest 2023 adjustments to the statute were to exclude individuals under 18 years of age from having an RPO issued for them.”
Court records show only 28 other RPOs issued for college students in 2022-23 at other schools, including SCSU, CCSU, WCSU, Yale, CSCU, and ECSU. None of them involved guns either.
For UConn officials, police using the risk protection orders is another piece of a concerted effort to address concerns about students’ mental health. There have been three suicides on the Storrs campus since December 2019, the most recent just a few months ago, when a student fell from a parking garage.
After the COVID pandemic, former UConn President Thomas Katsouleas created a Task Force on Mental Health and Wellness to study what the university was or wasn’t doing to assist students.
Among the changes that came from that task force was the creation of a new office with an emphasis on student mental health called the Student Office of Care and Concern, run by John Armstrong.
Armstrong said the risk protection orders can alert school officials to a situation with a student they may not have known about.
“Someone always says it came out of nowhere. The reality is these do not come out of nowhere. The reality is there are always clues,” Armstrong said. “There are always indications, there are always things that someone says, does or has communicated to a friend, acquaintance, parent, family members, someone to give a clue to their level of concern.”
In addition to Armstrong’s office, there’s also UConn’s Student Health and Wellness office. Both Armstrong and SHAW Executive Director Kristina Stevens said ultimately “it is up to the individual student to seek out the help.”
“We look at the full picture of a student. And sometimes we reach out to faculty … look at their academic grades, we were looking at mid-semester, semester grade warnings, all of these things help us develop a picture of ‘are they OK?’” Stevens said. “And it doesn’t always mean that we’re putting eyes on them and communicating with them. But we’re seeing a student’s snapshot in time and developing a picture to say, ‘I think they’re OK now.”
‘Why are we doing them?’
For Melanson, of the Connecticut Police Chiefs Association, the fact that nearly all the orders are getting dropped almost immediately by the courts should make a police department review how they are using the law.
“If judges aren’t upholding them and we’re doing 50 and they’ve dismissed 50 after two weeks, then why are we doing them?” Melanson said. “There’s a disconnect between what the legislators believe is happening and what is happening in the real world.”
Most of the changes in the law were done at the request of the police chiefs association.
No bills related to the red flag law went before the Judiciary Committee this session, and there are no plans to revisit the red flag law this year, according to the committee’s co-chairman Rep. Steven Stafstrom, D-Bridgeport.
Stafstrom said the changes over the past few years have undoubtedly saved lives by identifying people who were possibly suicidal, removing their weapons if they had any, or getting them help.
“As prevalent as mass shootings have become, suicide deaths by gun violence remains an even bigger cause of death in our state and around the nation,” Stafstrom said.
There has been discussion at the federal level of a national red flag law, particularly after a mass shooting in Lewiston, Me., last October when a 40-year-old Army Reservist killed 18 people at a bowling alley.
Maine has what is referred to as a yellow flag law, which does not give law enforcement as quick an avenue to go to court and get an order to remove a person’s guns.
Stafstrom said other states still reach out to Connecticut about the state’s red flag law.
Melanson said if the orders continue to rise, the police chiefs association would revisit the 2022 tweaks to the law.
“What we’re trying to do is not punish people but protect them. I think that is the greatest thing with this law that we’re really focused on,” Melanson said.
Dave Altimari and and José Luis Martínezis are reporters for The Connecticut Mirror (https://ctmirror.org/ ). Copyright 2024 © The Connecticut Mirror.
Connecticut
I moved from Connecticut to the South chasing a cheaper, simpler life. It wasn’t at all what I expected, so I moved back.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Sandra Bonola, 56, who moved from Connecticut to Charleston, South Carolina, in 2021, then to Beaufort, South Carolina, in 2023, before deciding the South wasn’t right for her. The conversation has been edited for length and clarity.
I am a native New Englander, born and raised in Connecticut. In late 2021, I started thinking seriously about moving. I’m an empty nester, and thanks to my remote job, I can work from anywhere in the country.
I was drawn to the South because people talked about it as if it were the promised land. The stories made it seem like it had better weather, cheaper homes, and a more affordable cost of living. I bought into that and told myself, “If I move to the South, I can have an easier life, and it won’t be as expensive.”
I decided to move to Charleston, South Carolina. I figured that there, I’d be outside more, near the beach, have a lower cost of living, and have access to the coast. I was also hoping for that small-town vibe and Southern charm.
I packed up the 2,500-square-foot Colonial I had lived in for 20 years and moved. I got rid of a lot of things I no longer needed and put the rest into storage.
I was really hopeful Charleston would be right for me. But about four months after moving there, I realized that almost everything I had hoped for was turning out to be the opposite.
I tested the waters in Charleston first
In Charleston, I stayed in a friend’s apartment and paid rent month to month while I decided whether I wanted to buy a home there. I’m grateful for that setup because it gave me a trial period. In those four months, I learned a lot about Charleston — and about what I actually wanted.
One of the first things I noticed was that everybody seemed to be moving there. The city was crowded, and navigating the downtown area was always challenging. Its streets were also full of traffic — it would take me up to an hour to try to get to downtown Charleston from John’s Island.
The city was also more expensive than I expected. I was somewhat insulated from housing costs because I was renting from my friend, but food, entertainment, and taxes were all much higher than I had anticipated.
Jeff Greenberg/Universal Images Group via Getty Images
The Southern charm I was hoping for also didn’t feel as I expected. Charleston has a big “going out” culture, much of which seems to revolve around where to eat or drink. That’s not really my thing. For me, the city lacked some of the creative flavor I was looking for.
The climate was another big factor. Everyone knows New England can have brutal winters, and I don’t like shoveling snow, so I was eager to get away from that. But after moving South, I realized I had traded brutal winters for brutal summers. It was just so hot.
At first, I thought I just needed time to adjust. But the more I explored Charleston, the more I realized the lifestyle I had imagined didn’t match my reality.
I was getting annoyed, then frustrated, and then I was done.
I tried the South again, but it still wasn’t for me
I didn’t feel like I had anything to lose, so I moved back to Connecticut in 2022. Instead of feeling defeated, I actually felt grateful that I had given Charleston a shot.
For a while, I rented a month-to-month beach house in Connecticut while I looked for a home to buy. But the homebuying search in New England felt bleak. I was trying to downsize, but even the smaller homes came with big-home prices. It made me feel like I might never find what I was looking for.
After house hunting for 14 months in Connecticut, I really wanted to put down roots. The idea of moving to a quieter, more affordable small town was still appealing. So in July 2023, I decided to try the South again — this time in Beaufort, South Carolina, a small town I had explored while living in Charleston.
There, I was able to purchase a beautiful three-bedroom ranch home for $425,000. It was a new build in a planned community.
The house checked a lot of boxes. It was beautiful, new, and far more affordable than what I could have bought in Connecticut. But I still didn’t feel at home in Beaufort.
Affordability is important, but you also need community
In Beaufort, it was so hot that I rarely saw or interacted with my neighbors. People would say hello and then quickly go back inside. I kept thinking, “How am I ever going to socialize here?”
I joke that I’m an OG remote worker because I started working remotely in 2008. Remote work gives you some social interaction, but you still need to get outside and make real connections with people.
I tried to put myself in situations where I could meet people. I looked for yoga classes, local events, and other activities I could join. But what I found was that many people had moved there for family or moved with a spouse, and they mostly kept to themselves.
It lacked the kind of community connection I was used to seeing in the Northeast. I kept trying to make those connections and stay open to it, but it just kept falling flat.
I tell people this story, and sometimes they understand it, and sometimes they don’t. But I knew I was done one morning when I woke up, looked at the ceiling fan in my bedroom, and thought, “I really hate that fan, and I’m losing hope for my life.”
I didn’t appreciate Connecticut’s beauty until I moved back
In 2024, I moved back to Connecticut. Right now, I’m living on the coast in an apartment inside a refurbished Civil War-era hospital. I’m on one of the top floors, so I can see the boats and the water.
I’m still searching for a home and making offers with more confidence. Home prices are high here, but prices down South are creeping up, too.
I’ve started thinking about owning in Connecticut more as an investment in both my future and my happiness. I’ve set a budget of about $800,000 for a home, though some of the homes I’ve been interested in have been closer to $650,000.
I’m seeing possibilities I didn’t see before, and that’s exciting.
Kate Stoupas/Getty Images
Being back in Connecticut has been eye-opening. I don’t think I fully appreciated its beauty until I had something to compare it to.
There’s so much opportunity here. I love the energy and the people. I’ve been taking advantage of the location, too, doing things like hopping on a train to New York to see a show or making more of an effort to connect with friends.
When I think about whether I’d move somewhere else again, I keep coming back to something a photographer once told me in Massachusetts. He had lived in Bali with his family, and I remember asking, “You lived in Bali? Why would you come to Massachusetts?”
I’ll never forget what he told me. He said, “I can go anywhere in the world from an airport, but you really have to realize the ground beneath your feet is beautiful if you choose to see it that way.”
That stayed with me. It changed the way I think about Connecticut and made me realize I needed to take the blinders off. There was beauty right at my feet — I just needed to see it.
Connecticut
Valkyries hit new highs in win over lowly Connecticut Sun
The second-year Golden State Valkyries keep clearing hurdles that have never been scaled in the history of the WNBA.
They did it again Friday night.
Across the country from Ballhalla, against an opponent with the league’s worst record, the Valkyries became the fastest WNBA expansion franchise to 40 victories.
They needed just 68 games over two seasons to hit the mark.
That was among the bullet points in their 79-64 victory over the Connecticut Sun, an outcome that extended Golden State’s franchise-record win streak to seven games, including the first four in a five-city trip that concludes Wednesday at Indiana.
The Valkyries overcame a rough start on a night in which their All-Star forward, Gabby Williams, was ruled out before tip-off because of a back injury that sidelined her in the fourth quarter of the team’s win in Toronto on Wednesday.
Connecticut, which fell to 5-18, stormed to a 9-2 lead in the opening minutes and maintained an advantage into the second quarter even though its leading scorer on the season, center Brittney Griner, missed her second consecutive game because of a quad strain.
But the Valkyries’ highly touted defense eventually put a grip on the home team, and Golden State grabbed its first lead, 24-23, when Kaila Charles drove for a layup.
The visitors led 30-25 at halftime.
Connecticut kept the margin within single digits for nearly all of the third quarter, but Veronica Burton closed the period with an up-and-under layup as time expired to give Golden State a 54-44 cushion heading into the final 10 minutes.
The Valkyries put the score out of reach when Charles and Burton made back-to-back 3-pointers to widen the lead to 60-44 with 7:19 to play.
Burton had a superb game against her former team, finishing with 17 points, six assists, three rebounds, two blocks and a steal. The Valkyries are undefeated this season when the point guard has at least six assists.
Golden State’s bench contributed 42 points, seven more than its league-high season average. Janelle Salaun led the reserves with 16 points, seven rebounds, and three steals. Laeticia Amihere added six points, five rebounds, three blocks and three assists. The Valkyries also got nine points from Tiffany Hayes and eight from Kaitlyn Chen.
Williams, meanwhile, gave the team a boost from the bench.
“Gabby is still going to contribute, and she still helped us,” Burton said. “She was one of the loudest people throughout the entire game. With that … it’s a next-man-up mentality. There is not necessarily any drop-off. We find different ways to win, and we just rely on every single person on this team.”
With the win, Golden State is the first to 17 victories this season, as the result on Friday improved its record to 17-7, tying the Valkyries with Las Vegas and Minnesota (both 16-6) for the league’s top mark.
How has Golden State done it?
It starts with “high-character” players the front office brought in, coach Natalie Nakase said, noting that everyone has accepted their roles, some more challenging than others.
“The best thing about our team is we have a selfless team that understands matchups,” Nakase said. “Having a deep bench was intentional. But it also comes with the humility that each player has to have that sometimes they can start, sometimes they’ll have a night, sometimes they might not start, sometimes they might not have a night.
“This is a very special group. I am not going to take this group for granted at all because they have meshed a lot better together than I anticipated.”
But even with far more highs than lows, the Valkyries are not a finished product in the eyes of their coach. Nakase noted the team’s slow starts in its previous two games, against Washington and Toronto, and stressed stronger consistency.
The Valkyries had another rough start on Friday.
Afterward, Nakase pointed to fatigue caused by an extended period on the road.
“We lost our vocalness in the first quarter, so I wasn’t really happy with that,” she said. “When you’re tired, the first thing that goes is the mind and they stop talking. We found pockets tonight of when we were very, very connected. But I need to see some rest. They deserve it. Four games in seven days and the emptying-the-tank mentality, I saw a lot of consistency there. But this game was really tough. Credit to Connecticut.”
Connecticut
Woman arrested, accused of murdering man in Farmington in March
A woman was arrested and charged with murdering a man whose body was found behind a condominium complex in Farmington in March, police said on Friday.
Cynthia Martinez, 27, was charged with murder, unlawful discharge of a firearm, tampering with evidence, and criminal use of a firearm in connection with the death of 29-year-old Derick William Mercado-Labonte of Bridgeport.
On March 19, officers responded to Talcott Forest Road around 10 a.m. for the report of an untimely death.
They found the body of Mercado-Labonte along the wood line behind a condominium complex. He appeared to have sustained multiple areas of trauma, according to police.
The Office of the Chief Medical Examiner ruled Mercado-Labonte’s death a homicide.
Martinez is being held on a $3,000,000 bond and is scheduled to be arraigned at the Torrington Superior Court on Friday.
Police said no further information will be released at this time, as this remains an active and ongoing investigation.
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