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Brother’s heart-wrenchingly honest obit for 76-year-old sibling’s hard, lonely life goes viral: ‘He didn’t fit in’

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Brother’s heart-wrenchingly honest obit for 76-year-old sibling’s hard, lonely life goes viral: ‘He didn’t fit in’


Brian Eldridge’s brother wanted the world to know about his misunderstood sibling’s heartbreaking and lonely life after he died alone in his Minnesota apartment — so he wrote a brutally honest obituary.

“Brian was a quiet shy boy and man. He was bullied as a child and teenager because of his shyness and vulnerability. As an adult he didn’t fit in. He never learned to use a computer or a cell phone, which kept him from applying for most jobs,” Steve Eldridge wrote in the obituary, published in Minnesota’s Pioneer Press on Sunday.

“He worked and supported himself through paper routes, aluminum can recycling and janitorial work. He was exploited by employers. His last job was cleaning a bingo hall at midnight for $10 per hour 7 nights a week 364 days a year with just less than the minimum weekly hours to have any rights or benefits. His employer fired him on Christmas Eve with no notice. He had worked there for over 15 years,” his brother wrote.

“He had no friends or family who kept up with him. He was quiet, smart, generous and lonely. When found in his apartment he had been dead at least 4 days. I’ll miss him,” the brief eulogy concluded.

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The obituary immediately touched the hearts of local readers, with dozens moved to write to the paper in response, according to the Pioneer Press.

Eldridge was found in his cramped apartment on July 11 after his brother called him for four days with no response.
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A retired priest in Crosslake, Minn., wrote that he had shared Eldridge’s obituary during his weekend homily.

“You could have heard a pin drop, it was so quiet,” he told the paper. “I didn’t know Brian, but what a wonderful lesson for us all.”

Another woman, Marie, said she came across Eldridge’s obituary after finding a newspaper left on a bench.

“Not sure why I read Brian´s obit. But I do know that your writing has changed me. Bless you, dear friend. Eternal rest upon Brian,” she wrote.

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The heart-wrenching obituary has since gone viral, wetting eyes across the internet.

‘His story is sad and true’


Brian Eldridge was "a quiet and shy boy and man" who lived a lonely life.
Brian Eldridge was “a quiet and shy boy and man” who lived a lonely life.
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Eldridge, 76, was found in his cramped two-bedroom apartment in Mounds View, outside of Minneapolis, on July 11 after his brother called him for four days with no response.

Steve Eldridge, who lives in Oregon, said his family had been planning a trip to Minnesota and was calling Brian to tell him they’d like to see him.

He told the Pioneer Press he’d last spoken to his brother on his birthday, May 4, and saw him in person last October.

“Nobody else knew him,” he told the paper when he was asked why he chose to write the obituary with such affective frankness. “When our other brother, David, died in October, I basically explained how his life was shot because of schizophrenia. I wanted to be just as honest with Brian’s obituary because his story is sad and true.”

Steve Eldridge was equally frank about his own feelings after Brian’s death.

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“I personally struggle with the question, ‘Am I my brother’s keeper?’ I have to live with the guilt, regret and shame that I didn’t try harder to stay closer, to see him more, to call him more, to be there for him,” he said.

Brian Eldridge was born in St. Paul in 1947, the middle of Franklin and Cecile Eldridge’s three sons. He suffered from asthma and a kidney condition and nephritis, his brother said. He also had severe acne as a teenager.

He was “painfully shy” and increasingly left out by the kids who teased him.

“I was basically his only friend, and we played together all the time as little children. Once we got to high school, that changed,” Steve Eldridge recalled.

Brian Eldridge was drafted to serve in Vietnam and sent to basic training at Fort Leonard Wood, Mo., for two weeks — but was sent home because his acne problem was so bad.

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“It’s too bad because he actually kind of liked basic training. He liked being in a group where nobody knew him,” his brother said.

Brian would struggle to keep himself employed for the rest of his life, trying to hold down jobs as a baggage handler and then as a newspaper deliveryman and collecting cans at night. He also worked at the bingo hall mentioned in his obituary.

He struggled with technology, and Steve had to show his brother how to use a microwave, a new television and computers that he had never used before.

“When you’re computer-illiterate, everything is just hard,” Steve told the paper. “He tried taking a computer class at the local library once, but he said after the first one, everybody was so far ahead, he was embarrassed and he quit.”

Brian went more than 50 years without seeing a doctor before he was diagnosed with high blood pressure in 2013, which his brother believes may have contributed to his death. By the time he died, Steve said Brian’s hair — of which he proudly hadn’t cut in probably 45 years — was halfway down to his calves. 

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Steve Eldridge said he has been moved by the tributes to Brian, but is frustrated by the lack of kindness or friendship the community showed him while he was alive.

“Why didn’t anybody find out his name? It’s not like he had friends, or anyone invited him anywhere or even talked to him,” he said.

“I just wanted people to meet my brother and maybe empathize with him and to say to themselves: Could I have met him? Known him? Introduced myself? Talked to him? Or somehow maintained contact to the point where we wouldn’t have discovered his dead body after God knows how long because nobody cared?” he said.

“That’s all. It’s a sad story.”

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Minnesota

After months stuck in Brazil, Minnesota family arrives home with newborn

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After months stuck in Brazil, Minnesota family arrives home with newborn


Lori Tocholke waited nervously near baggage claim carousel 11 Tuesday afternoon at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport, her heart “beating a thousand miles per hour.”

On March 12, Tocholke’s newest grandchild, Greyson Leo Phillips, was born, 2 pounds 2.6 ounces and 12 weeks ahead of schedule.

The premature birth was traumatic enough for Tocholke’s daughter, Cheri Phillips. Worse was the fact that Greyson was born while Phillips and her husband, Chris, were vacationing in Brazil.

Because of a technicality, Brazilian authorities refused to issue his birth certificate. Without a birth certificate, Greyson couldn’t get a U.S. passport. And without a U.S. passport, Greyson couldn’t go home to Minnesota.

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The family’s travails caused a storm in Brazilian media, held up as an example of how the country’s bureaucracy can tie up daily life for no good reason.

At the airport Tuesday, a half-dozen news cameras encircled the entry to baggage claim.

All Tocholke wanted?

To hold her newest grandchild for the first time, 105 heart-wrenching days after he was born. Tocholke told the other waiting family members she had first dibs.

The plane landed at 1:48 p.m., seven minutes early. Tocholke bided her time as Chris, Cheri and Greyson gathered their things from the plane and made their way from gate G19 to baggage claim.

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Suddenly, a stroller burst through the doors, then Cheri, then Chris: a happy, exhausted family, finally home. Applause erupted. Tocholke hugged her daughter, then she got down to the business at hand: That sweet baby boy.

Greyson’s silver-blue eyes peered up at his grandma as she scooped him out of the stroller and cooed. He cried a few times. “Oh, I know!” his grandma soothed. She snuggled him and jiggled him, and he quieted. She held him like a football, then passed him to another family member, who passed him to another, then another.

“Everybody’s here, everybody’s safe, my heart is full,” Tocholke said.

A few feet away, tears and sweat streamed down Chris Phillips’ face and chest, exhausted after three days of travel and months of uncertainty. The family had gone to Brazil to visit Chris’ 8-year-old daughter, who lives with her mom in the Brazilian coastal city of Florianópolis.

“It was an ordeal, and not something we ever expected,” he said. “We went down for 17 days, just to visit my daughter on her birthday. Along this entire process, it seems like every time we made one step forward, it was three steps back.”

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During their sojourn in Brazil, the family did interviews with a slew of Brazilian media outlets, focusing on the gaps in Brazilian bureaucracy. Their story resonated. Three days after Minnesota media first published the family’s story, two representatives from the Brazilian cartorio, like a public notary, came to their AirBnb with Greyson’s birth certificate.

“We love Brazil; this wasn’t us hating Brazil,” Chris said. “I go there three times a year. My daughter is half Brazilian. Now my son’s been born in Brazil. I feel part Brazilian. It’s a wonderful place. But what do I hope changes? I hope Brazilian bureaucracy is behind us, but for hundreds of millions of Brazilians, it’s not.”

Before they left the airport for the hour drive to Cambridge — to the new home they closed on remotely from Brazil — Cheri pulled out a bottle and fed Greyson.

“He’s been alive for three and a half months and never been home,” Cheri said.

“We’re home, bud,” Chris said, patting his head. “We’re home.”

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Minnesota companies fund election deniers despite vowing not to • Minnesota Reformer

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Minnesota companies fund election deniers despite vowing not to • Minnesota Reformer


In the wake of the Jan. 6, 2021 attack on the U.S. Capitol, many leading Minnesota businesses announced they were pausing their political donations to review their giving strategy.

Some went further, vowing not to bankroll political candidates who supported Donald Trump’s attempt to overturn the 2020 election.

But today, three and a half years later, nearly all of them have resumed giving money to politicians engaging in election denial, according to an analysis by Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, a nonprofit that investigates government corruption.

Among them were some of Minnesota’s blue-chip mega corporations: UnitedHealth, Target, Best, Buy, 3M, U.S. Bancorp, Ameriprise and Ecolab, which all promised not to donate to members of what CREW calls the “sedition caucus.” 

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But as of today, they’ve given hundreds of thousands of dollars to politicians who voted against certifying the 2020 election, opposed the establishment of the Jan. 6 committee, or otherwise supported Trump’s attempt to undo the 2020 results.

A number of other Minnesota companies, including CHS, C.H. Robinson, Thrivent and Polaris, never promised to suspend donations and have continued giving money to candidates who sought to undermine the rightful, peaceful transfer of power after the 2020 election. 

One of those companies, Moorhead-based American Crystal Sugar, has for years been one of the biggest financial supporters of the sedition caucus. According to CREW’s analysis, they’ve given over $1 million since 2021, the third highest amount in the nation. Among other things, they’re focused on maintaining the federal program that keeps sugar prices high and undergirds their profitability.

Only one current Minnesota lawmaker voted against certifying the 2020 election results: Rep. Michelle Fischbach of the 7th District, who falsely told Fox News shortly after the 2020 election that vote tabulators were “finding votes” when in fact they were counting them. 

In a sign of the state Republican Party’s post-Jan. 6 radicalization, she was unable to obtain the party’s endorsement this year and is now facing a primary challenge from a Christian nationalist who says his goal is to “harness God’s power to lead ordinary Americans and their legislators in Washington back towards the Lord.”

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CREW said the companies should mind the value of a stable democracy. 

“Corporations depend on the stability and laws of a strong democracy in order to do business,” CREW writes. “Taking a stand against lawlessness aligns with the long-term interests of companies benefiting from government protection of intellectual property, contract enforcement and support for American business interests at home and abroad.”

According to their analysis, just one Minnesota company has so far upheld a promise to not give money to election deniers: Golden Valley-based Cheerio maker, General Mills.



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Minnesota Dam Is in 'Imminent Failure Condition'

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Minnesota Dam Is in 'Imminent Failure Condition'


An aging dam in Minnesota is in “imminent failure condition” after flooding on the Blue Earth River, officials say. The Blue Earth County Sheriff’s Office said Monday that there had been a breach on the west side of the Rapidan Dam near Mankato, but the main part of the 114-year-old dam is “still intact and there are no current plans for a mass evacuation,” CBS News reports. Water surged around the dam after debris accumulated early Monday, washing away the western bank and several buildings including an electrical substation, reports the Mankato Free Press.

“The dam could fail,” Eric Weller, Blue Earth County emergency management director, said Monday, per the Star Tribune. He said people who would be in danger from a collapse have been warned and many have been evacuated. Officials in North Mankato say a flood emergency has been declared and an earthen levee is being built “out of an abundance of caution.” Officials say that if the entire dam fails, the river will surge around 2 feet, enough for existing flood-control systems to handle. (A rail bridge linking Iowa and South Dakota collapsed Sunday night.)

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