When I was 39,  I received a devastating diagnosis of stage 3 breast cancer. My sons were ages 3 and 6. The diagnosis of breast cancer was heart wrenching. My breasts had nurtured my two sons, defined my femininity, and then they were gone. I felt like I had been stripped of my magic powers. 

How do you explain cancer to your young children while fighting the hardest physical battle you have ever faced? 

I searched for a book I could read to my children, but eventually found my own words to explain what was happening. I self-published our family’s story.  “Our Mama is a Beautiful Garden” is written in the voice of my two young sons, Louis and Maxwell.

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During my recovery, I read books with my sons about Wonder Woman, whom I had idolized as a TV character while growing up. To me, Wonder Woman is what a woman should be: confident, physically strong, and caring. I came to an understanding that chemo gave me a superpower to fight off getting cancer again.

Mothering while battling breast cancer made me more resilient — however, the first decade of survivorship was not easy. The fear of getting sick again did not go away. I was 10 years cancer-free on my 50th birthday, which felt like a rebirth. 

Not everybody gets a prognosis as good as I have. Not everybody gets to celebrate coming back from stage 3 cancer to full health. Survivor guilt is real.

I returned to the stage as a musician in 2022. My songwriting centers on honoring life’s stumbles and summits.

Today, my boys are ages 21 and nearly 18. My eldest started playing guitar during the pandemic; now we perform as an Americana/Blues mother-and-son duo, as well as with my band The Turnbuckles.

To celebrate the talents of Twin Cities mothers in music, I have organized a music festival that will use both stages at Hook & Ladder in Minneapolis on May 16, titled Mama Hellcats. It will lift up the importance of community and support networks, featuring  information and representatives from organizations dedicated to providing support and resources for survivors of domestic violence and housing instability. 

I have experienced times of abundance, when I donated furniture to Bridging, and moments of need, when I sought support from Sojourner to obtain a restraining order. 

This festival and these musicians — who represent a range of family structures — is my way to honor survival, connection, and how we can be here for each other. The line-up includes my band, Kashimana, Annie & the Bang Bang, Nikki Lemire, Samantha Grimes, and Haley E Rydell. 

[Editor’s note: Minnesota Women’s Press is a media partner for the event. Katy Tessman was a Changemaker in the magazine in 2013.]

Details: katytessman.com