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The Self-Realization Fellowship Lake Shrine was surrounded by flames. Then a family came to its rescue

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The Self-Realization Fellowship Lake Shrine was surrounded by flames. Then a family came to its rescue

Tales of the miraculous have always encircled the Self-Realization Fellowship Lake Shrine.

The story of its 1950 founding goes that the spiritual guru Paramahansa Yogananda purchased the 10-acre Pacific Palisades property from an oil company president, after the oilman had a vivid dream in which his land became a “church of all religions.” Yogananda then established the grounds as a place of peace, solace and sanctuary for people of all faiths.

Swans on the lake at the Self-Realization Fellowship site.

(Self-Realization Fellowship)

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The spring-fed lake in the center of the compound is its defining feature. Swans glide across its surface, new mothers push strollers around its perimeter, and people of many faiths and backgrounds meditate quietly along its shores.

The lake also played a key role in the shrine’s unlikely escape from the Palisades fire, as a family of three devotees used its waters to extinguish threatening flames.

Self-Realization Fellowship president and spiritual leader Brother Chidananda, in a livestream address to the group’s international membership, recounted the efforts of Billy Asad and his two adult children, Gabriella and Nicky, who came to the property’s rescue.

The Asads, he said, were “the divine instruments of God and guru who literally saved the Lake Shrine.”

It was the soot-covered swans, so dark they almost looked black, that first struck Gabriella Asad when she arrived at the Lake Shrine on the second day of the fire. Then, the lack of other animal life. No koi fish rose to the surface to greet her. The turtles that usually sun themselves on the scattered rocks were gone.

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The Self Realization Fellowship lush Pacific Palisades grounds.

The Self-Realization Fellowship’s lush Pacific Palisades grounds include a historic houseboat, where guru Paramahansa Yogananda lived and wrote while directing the work around the Lake Shrine.

(Self-Realization Fellowship )

Looking around the smoldering grounds where she was baptized as a baby and now volunteers in the gardening department, Gabriella, 20, resisted the urge to fall to her knees in despair. Instead, she grabbed four fire extinguishers and, through her tears, set to work alongside her father, Billy, 54, and brother Nicky, 19.

As embers the size of golf balls pelted the property, she put out spot fires and hosed down the wood-shingled roofs of the Lake Shrine’s historic buildings.

“Just the way the sky was, all the smoke, the way the swans were covered,” she said with emotion in her voice. “It took everything in me to do the best I could.”

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Her father, a former yoga teacher who lives on a houseboat in Marina Del Rey, had been tracking the explosive Palisades fire since soon after it broke out the morning of Jan. 7, when a monk spotted flames in the nearby mountains. As a longtime member of the Self-Realization Fellowship, Billy knew what was at stake: the lush meditation gardens open to all, the historic houseboat where his guru lived and wrote while directing the work around the Lake Shrine, the thousand-year-old Chinese sarcophagus containing some of Mahatma Gandhi’s ashes.

“It’s not just this beautiful garden with a lake,” Billy said. “It’s a vortex of light and love and peace and harmony and healing.”

Billy is not a certified firefighter, but as the founder and owner of WDA Fire Protection, he helps get businesses and homes fire-ready. He’s also a certified Regulation 4 tester under the Los Angeles Fire Department, which allows him to inspect and assess fire doors in L.A., and he’s licensed under the Office of the State Fire Marshal to service and test portable fire extinguishers. His father was a firefighter for 30 years and taught him about fire behavior. Over the years, Billy passed his knowledge on to his kids.

He began visiting the Lake Shrine’s paradisiacal grounds 25 years ago after a friend gave him a copy of Yogananda’s seminal book, “Autobiography of a Yogi.” He still remembers walking onto the property for the first time.

Billy Asad, daughter Gabriella and son Nicky in yellow coats beside a lake

Billy Asad, left, with daughter Gabriella and son Nicky.

(Billy Asad)

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“It was that ah-ha moment,” he said. “I knew it was my path.”

His kids were baptized in the Windmill Chapel, which abuts the lake and looks as if it had been magically transported from the Netherlands.

Gabriella and Nicky attended Sunday school at the temple and went on teen retreats with other Self-Realization Fellowship members. As they got older, they became regulars at the hourlong services held on the property each week. Nicky used to work as a chef at the Lake Shrine, cooking for the monks and lay people at the retreat center. Gabriella volunteers with the gardening department.

A man hose down a smoldering hillside

Billy Asad hoses down the hillside at the Self-Realization Fellowship Lake Shrine, where morning services are held every Sunday.

(Billy Asad)

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“Ever since I can remember we’ve been going to Lake Shrine,” Nicky said. “It’s our home. It’s everything to us.”

By 10 a.m. on Jan. 8, Billy had tracked the fires long enough to know the Lake Shrine was in danger. Along with Gabriella and Nicky, he loaded his Toyota Tacoma TRD Pro with helmets, gloves, fire coats, eye protection, steel-toed boots, respirators, radios, axes, shovels and about 30 fire extinguishers. Then they headed north to the property.

Flames raged around them as they climbed into Pacific Palisades. Telephone poles crashed to the ground near the truck. There were checkpoints along the way, but Billy showed his fire credentials and was allowed to pass through.

When they arrived, the Lake Shrine had been abandoned, the 14 monks who live on the grounds safely evacuated. There was a firetruck in the parking lot, but the two firefighters there were focused on a three-story apartment building adjacent to the Lake Shrine that was consumed by flames.

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Moving quickly and coordinating through their radios, the Asads rushed to extinguish spot fires crackling at the base of trees, in a patch of bamboo and on the many railroad ties that serve as stairs throughout the property.

“That’s exactly how everything starts,” Billy said. “A tree falls and catches another structure on fire.”

To prevent future ignitions, they also set to work wetting the roofs of all the buildings. Because of her volunteer job, Gabriella knew where the garden hoses were located, although a few had already melted. She took care of the visitor center. Nicky was charged with soaking the place of his baptism, the Windmill Chapel.

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Meanwhile, Billy spotted an unexpected tool: a gas-powered water pump on the lake’s small maintenance barge. It was new to him, but that didn’t matter.

“I know fire pumps,” he said. “I know hoses. I know attachments. So within five minutes after seeing it, I had the engine started and we were spraying bamboo on fire from 100 feet away.”

As it happens, a few months earlier, a resident monk of the property, Brother Bodhananda, had purchased the pump in case of future fires. Before being evacuated, he brought the pump out of storage and moved it onto the barge.

“It’s a credit to him and the maintenance manager, Bill Lackner, who works there that they had the temporary fire pump set up,” Billy said. “We jumped on the barge and immediately started using it. I have boating experience and my son does too. It was all part of this amazing divine plan.”

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The Asad family worked for seven hours before pausing, including taking a moment to gently rinse some of the soot clinging to the swans’ feathers.

That evening, Nicky and Billy came back and stayed until 4 a.m. the next day, hosing down the property and continuing to extinguish spot fires that were igniting all over, sometimes repeatedly in the same place. It was blindingly exhausting work, and they believe it was the prayers and wishes of devotees across the globe who empowered them to do it.

The Lake Shrine towers are illuminated at night surrounded by fire

The Lake Shrine towers were at risk as the Palisades fire raged on the hillside last week.

(Nicky Asad)

For the next three days they kept returning until the fire danger had passed. Even now, as the initial fire threat has ended, they continue to patrol the grounds daily.

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On Sunday in his livestream, Chidananda shared the results of the Asads’ work. The Gandhi World Peace Memorial is unharmed even as the vegetation on the hillside behind it is gone. The houseboat is safe, as is the Windmill Chapel, where weddings, christenings and memorials are held.

The Court of Religions, where small monuments to each of the world’s major faiths welcomes visitors to the grounds, is intact. The towering pillars and crossbars of the Golden Lotus Temple were hosed down by the Asads and are once again gleaming white.

There were, however, some structural losses. The visitors’ restroom near the property’s entrance, for one. Even as, just 20 feet away, the Lake Shrine museum and bookshop with artifacts from Yogananda’s life still stands.

The living quarters of the 14 monks who reside on the property also took a hit. An ashram where half of them lived sustained slight damage to one window. The Old Santa Ynez Inn, which housed the other seven monks, burned down, taking with it the office and apartment of the Lake Shrine’s spiritual director, Satyananda.

“I’m an unhoused evacuee, but I’m doing quite well,” Satyananda said. “We adapt and move forward.”

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The damaged visitors' bathroom.

One of the few structures lost on the property was the visitors’ bathroom.

(Self-Realization Fellowship)

Witnessing what took place at the Lake Shrine was a spiritual experience, Chidananda told fellowship members in his address, but he added that he doesn’t plan to talk about it much more.

“You know why,” he said, smiling gently. “Because it’s too easy to become proud or smug, or feel that we are better than others who didn’t fare as well. Our guru would have abhorred any sense of superiority complex based on the fact that we were spared while others suffered. That’s completely opposite to the spirit of his life.”

Instead, he said, the spiritual community’s consciousness should revolve around one question: What can we do to help?

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He’s already asked fellowship communities in Southern California to organize food and clothing drives, while monks and nuns at the group’s center in Mount Washington are offering spiritual counseling over the phone.

Thanks to the Asads, the Lake Shrine community will also continue to offer an open, inclusive and beautiful space for anyone seeking a quiet sanctuary for spiritual reflection, renewal or meditation — just as soon as it’s able.

“To me, the survival of this beloved shrine means so much because of what it represents,” Chidananda said. “It represents our faith that spiritual life, a higher consciousness of love and unity and harmony, will be able to endure in this world, despite all contrary forces of maya [illusion], delusion and destruction.”

The property remains closed to the public for now, but Billy said he’s already welcomed a few firefighters and police officers to take their breaks on the Lake Shrine grounds.

“They walk around the lake and take a break from the chaos,” he said. “And you’d just see it in their eyes: ‘What is this place?’ ‘We had no clue this was here.’ ‘We’re coming back.’”

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The Self-Realization Fellowship Lake Shrine property remains closed to the public for now.

The Self-Realization Fellowship Lake Shrine property remains closed to the public for now.

(Self-Realization Fellowship )

Meanwhile, Gabriella is relieved to see that the swans are back to their snow white color. The turtles have started sunning themselves again.

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The Nerve Center of This Art Fair Isn’t Painting. It’s Couture.

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The Nerve Center of This Art Fair Isn’t Painting. It’s Couture.

The art industry is increasingly shaped by artists’ and art businesses’ shared realization that they are locked in a fierce struggle for sustained attention — against each other, and against the rest of the overstimulated, always-online world. A major New York art fair aims to win this competition next month by knocking down the increasingly shaky walls between contemporary art and fashion.

When visitors enter the Independent art fair on May 14, they will almost immediately encounter its open-plan centerpiece: an installation of recent couture looks from Comme des Garçons. It will be the first New York solo presentation of works by Rei Kawakubo, the brand’s founder and mastermind, since a lauded 2017 survey exhibition at the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute.

Art fairs have often been front and center in the industry’s 21st-century quest to capture mindshare. But too many displays have pierced the zeitgeist with six-figure spectacles, like Maurizio Cattelan’s duct-taped banana and Beeple’s robot dogs. Curating Independent around Comme des Garçons comes from the conviction that a different kind of iconoclasm can rise to the top of New York’s spring art scrum.

Elizabeth Dee, the founder and creative director of Independent, said that making Kawakubo’s work the “nerve center” of this year’s edition was a “statement of purpose” for the fair’s evolution. After several years at the compact Spring Studios in TriBeCa, Independent will more than double its square footage by moving to Pier 36 at South Street, on the East River. Dee has narrowed the fair’s exhibitor list, to 76, from 83 dealers in 2025, and reduced booth fees to encourage a focus on single artists making bold propositions.

“Rei’s work has been pivotal to thinking about how my work as a curator, gallerist and art fair can push boundaries, especially during this extraordinary move toward corporatization and monoculture in the art world in the last 20 years,” Dee said.

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Kawakubo’s designs have been challenging norms since her brand’s first Paris runway show in 1981, but her work over the last 13 years on what she calls “objects for the body” has blurred borders between high fashion and wearable sculpture.

The Comme des Garçons presentation at Independent will feature 20 looks from autumn-winter 2020 to spring-summer 2025. Forgoing the runway, Kawakubo is installing her non-clothing inside structures made from rebar and colored plastic joinery.

Adrian Joffe, the president of both Comme des Garçons International and the curated retailer Dover Street Market International (and who is also Kawakubo’s husband), said in an interview that Kawakubo’s intention was to create a sculptural installation divorced from chronology and fashion — “a thing made new again.”

Every look at Independent was made in an edition of three or fewer, but only one of each will be for sale on-site. Prices will be about $9,000 to $30,000. Comme des Garçons will retain 100 percent of the sales.

Asked why she was interested in exhibiting at Independent, the famously elusive Kawakubo said via email, “The body of work has never been shown together, and this is the first presentation in New York in almost 10 years.” Joffe added a broader philosophical motivation. “We’ve never done it before; it was new,” he said. Also essential was the fair’s willingness to embrace Kawakubo’s vision for the installation rather than a standard fair booth.

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Kawakubo began consistently engaging with fine art decades before such crossovers became commonplace. Since 1989, she has invited a steady stream of contemporary artists to create installations in Comme des Garçons’s Tokyo flagship store. The ’90s brought collaborations with the artist Cindy Sherman and performance pioneer Merce Cunningham, among others.

More cross-disciplinary projects followed, including limited-release direct mailers for Comme des Garçons. Kawakubo designs each from documentation of works provided by an artist or art collective.

The display at Independent reopens the debate about Kawakubo’s proper place on the continuum between artist and designer. But the issue is already settled for celebrated artists who have collaborated with her.

“I totally think of Rei as an artist in the truest sense,” Sherman said by email. “Her work questions what everyone else takes for granted as being flattering to a body, questions what female bodies are expected to look like and who they’re catering to.”

Ai Weiwei, the subject of a 2010 Comme des Garçons direct mailer, agreed that Kawakubo “is, in essence, an artist.” Unlike designers who “pursue a sense of form,” he added, “her design and creation are oriented toward attitude” — specifically, an attitude of “rebellion.”

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Also taking this position is “Costume Art,” the spring exhibition at the Costume Institute. Opening May 10, the show pairs individual works from multiple designers — including Comme des Garçons — with artworks from the Met’s holdings to advance the argument made by the dress code for this year’s Met gala: “Fashion is art.”

True to form, Kawakubo sometimes opts for a third way.

“Rei has often said she’s not a designer, she’s not an artist,” Joffe said. “She is a storyteller.”

Now to find out whether an art fair sparks the drama, dialogue and attention its authors want.

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They set out to elevate karaoke in L.A. — and opened a glamorous lounge that pulls out all the stops

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They set out to elevate karaoke in L.A. — and opened a glamorous lounge that pulls out all the stops

Brothers Leo and Oliver Kremer visited karaoke spots around the globe and almost always had the same impression.

“The drinks weren’t always great, the aesthetics weren’t always so glamorous, the sound wasn’t always awesome and the lights were often generic,” says Leo, a former bassist of the band Third Eye Blind.

As devout karaoke fans, they wanted to level up the experience. So they dreamed up Mic Drop, an upscale karaoke lounge in West Hollywood that opens Thursday. It’s located inside the original Larrabee Studios, a historic 1920s building formerly owned by Carole King and her ex-husband, Gerry Goffin — and the spot where King recorded some of her biggest hits. Third Eye Blind band members Stephan Jenkins and Brad Hargreaves are investors of the new venue.

Inside the two-story, 6,300-square-foot venue with 13 private karaoke rooms and an electrifying main stage, you can feel like a rock star in front of a cheering audience. Want to check it out? Here are six things to know.

The Kremer brothers hired sculptor Shawn HibmaCronan to create an 8-foot-tall disco-themed microphone for their karaoke lounge.

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1. Take your pick between a private karaoke experience or the main stage

A unique element of Mic Drop is that it offers both private karaoke rooms and a main stage experience for those who wish to sing in front of a crowd. The 13 private rooms range from six- to 45-person capacity. Each of the karaoke rooms are named after a famous recording studio such as Electric Lady, Abbey Road, Shangri La and of course, Larrabee Studios. There is a two-hour minimum on all rentals and hourly rates depend on the room size and day of the week.

But if you’re ready to take the center stage, it’s free to sing — at least technically. All you have to do is pay a $10 fee at the door, which is essentially a token that goes toward your first drink. Then you can put your name on the list with the KJ (karaoke jockey) who keeps the crowd energized throughout the night and even hits the stage at times.

Harrison Baum, left, of Santa Monica, and Amanda Stagner, 27, of Los Angeles, sing in one of the 13 private karaoke rooms.

Harrison Baum, left, of Santa Monica, and Amanda Stagner, 27, of Los Angeles, sing in one of the 13 private karaoke rooms.

2. Thumping, high sound quality was a top priority

As someone who toured the world playing bass for Third Eye Blind, top-tier sound was a nonnegotiable for Leo. “Typically with karaoke, the sound is kind of teeny, there’s not a lot of bass and the vocal is super hot and sitting on top too much,” he says. To combat this, he and his brother teamed up with Pineapple Audio, an audio visual company based in Chicago, to design their crisp sound system. They also installed concert-grade speakers and custom subwoofers from a European audio equipment manufacturer called Celto, and bought gold-plated Sennheiser wireless microphones, which they loved so much that they had an 8-foot-tall replica made for their main room. Designed by artist Shawn HibmaCronan, the “macrophone,” as they call it, has roughly 30,000 mirror tiles. “It spins and throws incredible disco light everywhere,” says Leo.

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Lights beam on a stage.

Karaoke jockeys Sophie St. John, 27, second from left, and Cameron Armstrong, 30, right, get the crowd involved with their song picks at Mic Drop.

3. A concert-level performance isn’t complete without good stage lighting and a haze machine

Each karaoke room features a disco ball and dynamic lighting that syncs up with whatever song you’re singing, which makes you feel like you are a professional performer. There’s also a haze machine hidden under the leather seats. Meanwhile, the main stage is concert-ready with additional dancing lasers and spotlights.

Brett Adams, left, of Sherman Oaks, and Patrick Riley of Studio City  sing together in one of the private rooms at Mic Drop.

Brett Adams, left, of Sherman Oaks, and Patrick Riley of Studio City sing karaoke together inside a private lounge at Mic Drop.

4. The song selection is vast, offering classics and new hits

One of the worst things that can happen when you go to karaoke is not being able to find the song you want to sing. At Mic Drop, the odds of this happening are slim to none. The venue uses a popular karaoke service called KaraFun, which has a catalog of more than 600,000 songs (and adds 400 new tracks every month), according to its website. Take your pick from country, R&B, jazz, rap, pop, love duets and more. (Two newish selections I spotted were Raye’s “Where Is my Husband” and Olivia Dean’s “Man I Need,” which both released late last year.) In the private karaoke rooms, there’s also a fun feature on Karafun called “battle mode,” which allows you and your crew of up to 20 people to compete in real time. KaraFun also has an entertaining music trivia game, which I tested out with the founders and came in second place.

The design inspiration for Mic Drop was 1920s music lounges and 1970s disco culture, says designer Amy Morris.

The design inspiration for Mic Drop was 1920s music lounges and 1970s disco culture, says designer Amy Morris.

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5. The interiors are inspired by 1920s music lounges mixed with ‘70s disco vibes

A disco ball hangs from the ceiling.

A disco ball hangs from the ceiling.

If you took the sophisticated aesthetic of 1920s music lounges and mixed it with the vibrant and playful era of 1970s disco culture, you’d find Mic Drop.

When you walk into the lounge, the first thing you’ll see is a bright red check-in desk that resembles a performer’s dressing room with vanity lights, several mirrors and a range of wigs. “So much of karaoke is about getting into character and letting go of the day, so we had the idea to sell the wigs,” says Oliver. As you continue into the lounge, the focal point is the stage, which is adorned with zebra-printed carpet and dramatic, red velvet curtains. For seating, slide into the red velvet banquettes or plop onto a gold tiger velvet stool. Upstairs, you’ll find the intimate karaoke studios, which are decorated with red velvet walls and brass, curved doorways that echo the building’s deco arches, says Mic Drop’s interior designer, Amy Morris of the Morris Project.

Sarah Rothman, center, of Oakland, and friend Rachel Bernstein, left, of Los Angeles, wait at the bar.

Sarah Rothman, center, of Oakland, and friend Rachel Bernstein, left, of Los Angeles, wait at the bar.

6. You can order nontraditional karaoke bites as you wait for your turn to sing

While Mic Drop offers some of the food you’d typically find at a karaoke lounge such as tater tots, truffle popcorn and pizza, the venue has some surprising options as well. For example, a 57 gram caviar service (served with chips, crème fraîche and chives) and shrimp cocktail from Santa Monica Seafood. For their pizza program, the Kremer brothers teamed up with Avalou’s Italian Pizza Company, which is run by Louis Lombardi who starred in “The Sopranos.” He’s the brainchild behind my favorite dish, the Fuhgeddaboudit pizza, which is made with pastrami, pickles and mustard. It might sound repulsive, but trust me.

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As for the cheeky cocktails, they are all named after famous musicians and songs such as the Pink Pony Club (a tart cherry pomegranate drink with vodka named after Chappell Roan), Green Eyes (a sake sour with kiwi and melon named after Green Day) and Megroni Thee Stallion (an elevated negroni named after Megan Thee Stallion).

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You’re Invited! (No, You’re Not.) It’s the Latest Phishing Scam.

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You’re Invited! (No, You’re Not.) It’s the Latest Phishing Scam.

When John Lantigua, a retired journalist in Miami Beach, checked his email one recent morning, he was glad to see an invitation.

“It was like, ‘Come and share an evening with me. Click here for details,’” Mr. Lantigua said.

It appeared to be a Paperless Post invitation from someone he once worked with at The Palm Beach Post, a man who had left Florida for Mississippi and liked to arrange dinners when he was back in town.

Mr. Lantigua, 78, clicked the link. It didn’t open.

He clicked a second time. Still nothing.

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He didn’t realize what was going on until a mutual friend who had received the same email told him it wasn’t an invitation at all. It was a scam.

Phishing scams have long tried to frighten people into clicking on links with emails claiming that their bank accounts have been hacked, or that they owe thousands of dollars in fines, or that their pornography viewing habits have been tracked.

The invitation scam is a little more subtle: It preys on the all-too-human desire to be included in social gatherings.

The phishy invitations mimic emails from Paperless Post, Evite and Punchbowl. What appears to be a friendly overture from someone you know is really a digital Trojan horse that gives scammers access to your personal information.

“I thought it was diabolical that they would choose somebody who has sent me a legitimate invitation before,” Mr. Lantigua said. “He’s a friend of mine. If he’s coming to town, I want to see him.”

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Rachel Tobac, the chief executive of SocialProof Security, a cybersecurity firm, said she noticed the scam last holiday season.

“Phishing emails are not a new thing,” Ms. Tobac said, “but every six months, we get a new lure that hijacks our amygdala in new ways. There’s such a desire for folks to get together that this lure is interesting to people. They want to go to a party.”

Phishing scams involve “two distinct paths,” Ms. Tobac added. In one, the recipient is served a link that turns out to be dead, or so it seems. A click activates malware that runs silently as it gleans passwords and other bits of personal information. In all likelihood, this is what happened when Mr. Lantigua clicked on the ersatz invitation link.

Another scam offers a working link. Potential victims who click on it are asked to provide a password. Those who take that next step are a boon to hackers.

“They have complete control of your email and, in turn, your entire digital life,” Ms. Tobac said. “They can reset your password for your dog’s Instagram account. They can take over your bank account. Change your health insurance.”

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Digital invitation platforms are trying to combat the scam by publishing guides on how to spot fake invitations. Paperless Post has also set up an email account — phishing@paperlesspost.com — for users to submit messages for verification. The company sends suspicious links to the Anti-Phishing Working Group, a nonprofit that maintains a database monitored by cybersecurity firms. Flagged links are rendered ineffective.

The scammers’ new strategy of exploiting the desire for connection is infuriating, said Alexa Hirschfeld, a founder of Paperless Post. “Life can be isolating,” Ms. Hirschfeld said. “When it looks like you’re getting an invitation from someone you know, your first instinct is excitement, not skepticism.”

Olivia Pollock, the vice president of brand for Evite, said that fake invitations tended to be generic, promising a birthday party or a celebration of life. Most invitations these days tend to have a specific focus — mahjong gatherings or book club talks, for instance. “The devil is in the details,” Ms. Pollock said.

Because scammers don’t know how close you are with the people in your contact list, fake invitations may also seem random. “They could be from your business school roommate you haven’t spoken to in 10 years,” Ms. Hirschfeld said.

Alyssa Williamson, who works in public relations in New York, was leaving a yoga class recently when she checked her phone and saw an invitation from a college classmate.

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“I assumed it was an alumni event,” Ms. Williamson, 30, said. “I clicked on it, and it was like, ‘Enter your email.’ I didn’t even think about it.”

Later that day, she received texts from friends asking her about the party invitation she had just sent out. Her response: What party?

“The thing is, I host a lot of events,” she said. “Some knew it was fake. Others were like, ‘What’s this? I can’t open it.’”

Andrew Smith, a graduate student in finance who lives in Manhattan, received what looked like a Punchbowl invitation to “a memory making celebration.” It appeared to have come from a woman he had dated in college. He received it when he was having drinks at a bar on a Friday night — “a pretty insidious piece of timing,” he said.

“The choice of sender was super clever,” Mr. Smith, 29, noted. “This was somebody that would probably get a reaction from me.”

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Mr. Smith seized on the phrase “memory making celebration” and filled in the blanks. He imagined that someone in his ex-girlfriend’s immediate family had died. Perhaps she wanted to restart contact at this difficult moment.

Something saved him when he clicked a link and tried to tap out his personal information — his inability to remember the password to his email account. The next day, he reached out to his ex, who confirmed that the invitation was fake.

“It didn’t trigger any alarm bells,” Mr. Smith said. “I went right for the click. I went completely animal brain.”

The new scam comes with an unfortunate side effect, a suspicion of invitations altogether. It’s enough to make a person antisocial.

“Don’t invite me to anything,” Mr. Lantigua, the retired journalist, said, only half-joking. “I’m not coming.”

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