Lifestyle
Poet Rachel Eliza Griffiths says she won’t let pain be ‘the engine that drives the ship’
Rachel Eliza Griffiths is a poet, novelist and visual artist.
Andres Kudacki/AP
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Andres Kudacki/AP
When poet Rachel Eliza Griffiths married writer Salman Rushdie in 2021, she expected the day to be joyful. Their friends and family had gathered and Griffiths’ best friend, poet Kamilah Aisha Moon, was set to speak.
But Moon never showed up. Griffiths was still in her wedding dress when she learned that her friend had died. She says Moon’s death put her in a dissociative state; it was as though she were standing outside her own body.
“There was a moment literally where I felt I was looking down at this woman who was this gorgeous bride and the agony and anguish in her body,” Griffiths says. “She was screaming, people were holding her down so she wouldn’t hurt herself. And then I just left.”
Even now, Griffiths says, “Many parts of my wedding day are blacked out in my memory and are not available to me. … It’s very hard for me even to look at photographs or anything from my wedding day and feel connected to it.”
Eleven months after their wedding, Griffiths was home in New York City when she learned that Rushdie had been stabbed onstage at the Chautauqua Institution while being interviewed at a literary event. As she was rushing to be with him, Griffiths fell down a flight of stairs. It was a clarifying moment.
“When I got up and realized I hadn’t broken my neck or broken a bone, I just really was like, ‘That’s the last time you fall down. You cannot risk your safety. You cannot be running around with your head off your shoulders. You need to focus now,’” she says.
In the new memoir The Flower Bearers, Griffiths looks back on her wedding day and her marriage, and writes about her experience with dissociative identity disorder. She also reflects on her friendship with Moon, and how they initially connected over their shared identity as Black female poets.
Interview highlights
On caring for Rushdie in the immediate aftermath of the attack
I didn’t cry in the hospital room because I just didn’t think that would be helpful. And really, I didn’t have the energy. I had to conserve energy for all of these different balls that were all in the air. And when you’ve just married someone and now you’re responsible for their survival … you don’t really have time to tally up how strong you are, how brave you are, how courageous you are you have to keep going. And I was in survivor mode. …
There were moments where I cried in a lot of corners and stairwells. And yeah, I threw up a lot. I was really sick. My whole body was in shock. … I don’t know how to explain it, I don’t know if it’s innate or learned, but when there is a lot pressure and things are kind of going to hell, I will focus and bear down.
On the strength of her marriage
It’s hard to watch the love of your life struggle with blindness, with impaired mobility, to feel exhausted, but I’m also trying to really look at what is there. The knife didn’t take away the mind inside of my husband. It has not taken away his curiosity. It hasn’t taken away how romantic he is and how he loves to plan date nights for us and watching movies and traveling and trying to spend as much quality time together as we can.

I think this experience makes you think about time. And I think because I am married to someone who is much older than me, there is a sense of time, time passing, being present, and really filling the time up with love. … There’s a kind of indescribable bridge and bond we have having survived such an experience that has reinforced the most wondrous and beautiful and incandescent spaces of this marriage and this friendship. This friendship is beautiful. And I’m grateful for it. And that gives me a lot of strength and courage to just keep going.
On experiencing dissociation
It’s a part of my mind and my body that attempts to protect and cope in moments where I feel flight or fight and I’m trying to get away from something, often externally. Or it can be a memory that might cause me a pain or a kind of mental assault that I will not be able to withstand. … I’ve learned to see my dissociative identity disorder as a protector. I’ve befriended it. I’ve learned so much about it so that I don’t feel like I’m out of control or I don’t know what’s happening.
On her alter egos
One of the things I write about is how, if you picture maybe the same version of yourself in a car, there are different people driving it at different times, but you’re all in the same car. … My alter as an artist is connected to my alter who was a young child and my alter who in my 20s as a young woman struggling to be an artist and becoming the person I’m still becoming. That’s a different set of memories and a different kind of character. But they all kind of visit me. I have a future alter, who is a really lovely, kind of bold, dazzling older woman. And her name is June. And so she helps me not sweat the small stuff. And she has a lot of humor and style and is chic. And she takes care of me.
On pushing back against the cliché of the “tortured” artist
When you glamorize tortured poets or tortured artists, there’s an injustice that they become silhouettes and cutouts, their humanity is removed from them. They’re not seen as three-dimensional. … You know, Virginia Woolf, Sylvia Plath, or even Amy Winehouse … [and] Whitney Houston. There’s so many names of people … [whose] pain becomes the engine that drives the ship. …
What has now happened by writing this book is I don’t have shame. I don’t feel shame. I am using my voice to say this is my journey and I hope it can help someone else. When I was younger, having no money, being broke, being defeated, being depressed, that didn’t lead me to write my best work. I was in survivor mode. Once I was able to get stabilized and start to do the inner work and start to heal, I’ll always be healing, you know? I’ll be healing. But this feels like one of the first steps for me in a new life. And I’m really grateful for that.
Anna Bauman and Susan Nyakundi produced and edited this interview for broadcast. Bridget Bentz, Molly Seavy-Nesper and Beth Novey adapted it for the web.
Lifestyle
Jeanette Marantos, L.A. Times plants reporter, dies at 70
Jeanette Marantos, a stalwart Features reporter for the Los Angeles Times, died Saturday following an emergency heart issue. She was 70.
Marantos was key to the success of The Times’ plants coverage, making waterwise native plants a cornerstone of her reporting as drought and climate change worsened in California. She spotlighted people turning their yards into native plant oases and beautifying public spaces. She also wrote about people saving native flora and fauna, from mountain lions in need of a freeway crossing to endangered butterflies and tiny native bees. Her last assignment Friday was covering the California Native Plant Society’s conference in Riverside.
“She was the most loving person I ever met, probably to a fault in some cases. If she knew you and you were a part of her life, she was fiercely loyal always,” said her son, Sascha Smith.
His brother, Dimitri Smith, echoed his sentiment, recalling when he was in school that his mother would offer rides home to other students when they didn’t have one. “Above all else, she was genuinely the most caring person I’ve ever met in my life,” Dimitri Smith said.
Marantos, who was born on March 13, 1955, grew up in Riverside and remembered her parents doting on their 3,000-square-foot lawn. As California’s water crisis worsened, recalling the constant swish of sprinklers throughout her childhood piqued her interest in native plants.
“That was the California landscape of my youth. In retrospect, it feels like a pipe dream, given the reality of this region’s limited water and propensity for drought … a lovely memory that is no longer sustainable today,” she wrote.
Marantos also covered the effects of last year’s L.A. County wildfires on soil and gardens, the fate of Altadena’s Christmas Tree Lane after the Eaton fire, the construction of the Wallis Annenberg Wildlife Crossing, a project that kicked off with a hyperlocal nursery, how L.A. gardeners were reacting to immigration raids, and the rise of human composting. Known formally as natural organic reduction, Marantos’ remains will undergo this process to become soil, her sons said.
Jeanette Marantos appears at the L.A. Times Plants booth at the paper’s Festival of Books on April 21, 2024.
(Maryanne Pittman)
In her role at work, she wrote the beloved L.A. Times Plants newsletter, her latest focusing on the resiliency of plants in burn areas. She also launched the popular L.A. Times Plants booth at the paper’s Festival of Books, working with the Theodore Payne Foundation, a nonprofit education center and nursery focused on native plants, and the California Native Plant Society to educate visitors about native plants. She drove the initiative to give away sunflower seed packets at last year’s booth because the sturdy plants are known to extract lead, an idea that came to her as she tested contaminated soil in burn zones.
She “was a one-of-a-kind voice for plants and the people who care about them. Through her writing, she imbued others with her infectious enthusiasm for the natural world — a gift to all of us that will continue to resonate,” according to a statement from the Theodore Payne Foundation. “Her visits to the nursery, her thoughtful conversations, and her wholehearted engagement brought laughter and insight into every interaction.”
Marantos was a dedicated reporter — she’d drive 60 miles to get an answer when no one was picking up the phone — but also devoted to her family. She cared for her husband, Steven B. Smith, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in 2011 and died in 2021, providing readers with tips from their experiences. She spoke often of her sons and grandchildren and her dogs. She opened her December Plants newsletter, about a mother-son duo’s seed bomb project, by sharing that she had recently welcomed another “perfect” granddaughter.
“Plus I got to listen to my other perfect granddaughter read her first book and help her plant her first sunflower,” she wrote.
Sascha Smith recalled one of the last things Marantos said before going into emergency surgery Friday was sorry to his daughter Naomi, 6, for missing her birthday Sunday.
Gardens full of buckwheat, sage, vegetables, roses and treasured sweet peas surround her Ventura home. Her father, an Air Force veteran and son of Greek immigrants, introduced her to “the miracle of seeds” and to the delicious perfume of sweet peas. She remembered trailing behind her grandmother cutting roses in her garden, lugging bucketfuls of flowers and inhaling the sweetness. She added native plants to her garden because yes, they helped save water, butterflies and bees, but also because she loved their fragrance.
“These lean, scrappy plants are rarely as showy as their ornamental cousins, but when it comes to fragrance, they win every award, hands down,” she wrote.
It wasn’t just aesthetics and aroma that inspired Marantos to garden. It was the acts of digging, weeding, watching something grow and sharing the abundance with others. “On my worst days, my garden was a reason to get out of bed in the morning, and the one thing that made me smile,” she wrote.
Jeanette Marantos appears on “Los Angeles Times Today” in June 2024 with host Lisa McRee.
(L.A. Times Today)
Marantos tended to her garden like she tended to her friends. She often brought her friends along on reporting trips, from hiking up Los Angeles’ steepest staircases and visiting wildflower viewing areas to convincing one who flew in to Los Angeles from Washington state to spend a weekend volunteering at The Times’ Plants booth at the Festival of Books.
Marantos lived in central Washington for more than 20 years, working as a reporter at the Wenatchee World Newspaper and as a teacher at Wenatchee High School. She also worked for a program focused on getting at-risk middle school youth into college. “So many students … the trajectory of their lives is very different because she believed in them,” Dimitri Smith said.
Working as a community volunteer, she was also integral in developing a sculpture garden in downtown Wenatchee, Dimitri Smith said. “Growing up, I didn’t know how special that was. I didn’t know how unique that was. She wanted to be engaged in the community and make a difference always,” he said.
Marantos wrote personal finance stories for The Times from 1999 to 2002. She moved from Washington back to Southern California in her 50s to restart her journalism career, at one point interning with KPCC, now known as LAist, Dimitri Smith said. In 2015, she returned to The Times to write for the Homicide Report. A year later she started contributing to the Saturday section’s gardening coverage, which she would work on full time in 2020 when it relaunched as L.A. Times Plants. She described the two disparate beats as a way of staying balanced, her yin and yang.
Jeanette Marantos, shown around 1975, tries to grow her first garden.
(Steven B. Smith)
“Going from homicide to gardening might seem unusual, or maybe even a step away from the action. But not for Jeanette. First off, she personally loved gardening. … So the assignment was kinda like telling a kid to cover the candy beat,” said Rene Lynch, a former Times editor who hired Marantos on the plants beat. “But also, Jeanette was a true journalist, which means she had an innate curiosity about everything.”
Learning to garden took dedication. Marantos described her first attempt in her 20s as disastrous; her tomato plants grew more leaves than fruit, her sunflowers were sad, not hearty. She thought of her explainers on various plant topics as her ongoing education.
“Our family is completely grief-stricken and shocked over her loss. We’re going to have a very, very difficult time living without her,” said her brother, Tom Marantos.
She is survived by her son Sascha Smith and his daughter Naomi Smith; son Dimitri Smith, his wife Molly Smith and their daughter Charlie Smith; her brother Tom Marantos and his partner Rafael Lopez; her sisters Lisa and Alexis Marantos; and her best friends, who were like family, Leslie Marshall and Theresa Samuelsen.
Lifestyle
We unpack Bad Bunny’s Super Bowl halftime show : Pop Culture Happy Hour
Bad Bunny performs onstage during the Super Bowl halftime show at Levi’s Stadium.
Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images
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Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images
At the Super Bowl halftime show, Bad Bunny put on an endlessly rewatchable performance. It featured Lady Gaga, Ricky Martin, and a real wedding. But it didn’t shy away from this political moment, and Bad Bunny’s place in the culture wars.
Lifestyle
Rep. Lauren Underwood Says She’d Perform Well on ‘Survivor’
Rep. Lauren Underwood
I’m A Capitol Hill Survivor …
And I’d Survive the Show, Too!!!
Published
TMZ.com
Representative Lauren Underwood says she’s got the skills to win political debates and immunity idols … telling us Wednesday she’d kill it on the show “Survivor.”
The Democratic Congresswoman from Illinois says that she absolutely loves the long-running reality competition show … and with trust, alliances, and doing whatever it takes to win — she says that’s a lot like Congress.
Watch the clip … Underwood lays out all the reasons — including her background as a nurse and her time in the Girl Scouts — she thinks she’d crush it on “Survivor.”
TMZ.com
Worth noting … we talked to Delaware Rep. Sarah McBride recently — and she says GOP lawmakers are better suited for the show “The Traitors.”
Sounds like Congress is obsessed with reality TV these days … which is better than when the House floor turns into a “Real Housewives”-level shouting match, we gotta say!
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