Lifestyle
Opinion: Resolutions aren't the key to a happier new year. Here's where to start
We tend to look to the New Year as a new beginning, as an opportunity for a fresh start. Aspiring for something different, something better, we devise resolutions in hopes of making ourselves healthier, more productive, more successful … but really, the end goal is to be happier: to feel satisfied rather than wanting at this same time next year.
We seek ingredients for this new and better life from magazine headlines and “how to” experts promising that a New Year might indeed transform each of us into a “new you.” However, nobody needs outside guidance or expertise to identify their sources of satisfaction. We don’t have to search for something new and different. The best indicator of what will make us happy is what has made us happy.
I teach a course to UCLA graduate business students and executives called Applying the Science of Happiness to Life Design. The objective of the 10-week elective is straightforward: to guide students toward enjoying greater satisfaction in their days, careers and lives overall. I introduce them to a multitude of findings from academic research across the fields of psychology and behavioral decision making, but the students’ most important lessons come from the assignments that push them to reflect on their own experiences.
One of these assignments is remarkably simple. It takes only a few minutes, and you could do it right now. Reflecting over your past year, what were the times when you felt the greatest joy? Think about it for a moment, and jot down the five activities from the past 12 months that you experienced as happiest. It is these activities that made you feel happy before that hold the greatest promise to make you feel happy in the future.
Notice, this is different from me asking you about what activities in general make you happiest. That question is unhelpfully vague and potentially daunting. Without the defined time frame of the past 12 months, it leads to answers based on abstract beliefs, rather than your actual experiences, which can prove misleading in pursuing happiness.
If you’re nervous about the accuracy of your recall of the past dozen months or you’re someone who gains confidence from data, you could also do the time-tracking assignment. Over the course of a week, for each half-hour you’re awake, write down what activity you did and how you felt on a 10-point scale. For these ratings, reflect honestly on how satisfied and fulfilled you felt coming out of that activity. Though it may seem tedious to track your time for a whole week, looking back across your numbers to identify your emotional high points can be surprisingly illuminating.
You’re likely to notice which modes of socializing feel most meaningful for you. You’ll see which work activities or tasks are the most rewarding. Even though you might have thought of evening TV watching as a prize and you have dreaded exercise, your data could very well reveal your couch time as meh and exercise as energizing or even fun, especially when done in a particular setting or with a particular workout buddy.
These assignments are more useful than broad “top New Year’s resolution tips” drawn from the experiences of swaths of people, many of whose circumstances and preferences are quite different from yours. Your own prior experiences offer far more information and precise guidance about what will make you happy going forward.
A similar strategy can guide your approach not only to the year ahead but for many years to come. To find what is likely to produce lasting happiness in your life, you could ask someone who is closer to the end of theirs to look back. Yet another assignment I give my students is to ask an elder who has lived a good life — someone who is happy and views their past with satisfaction instead of regret — to reflect on their sources of pride. Ask an elder you admire what brought them the greatest joy over the years. Their past experiences, much like your own, can inform your future decisions.
Take a look back to identify your sources of happiness, and resolve for these next 12 months to protect time for them amid the busyness of life.
Cassie Holmes, a professor of marketing and behavioral decision making at UCLA’s Anderson School of Management, is the author of “Happier Hour.”
Lifestyle
Kumail Nanjiani opens up on his regrets, critical failures and embracing fear : Wild Card with Rachel Martin
A note from Wild Card host Rachel Martin: Here’s my theory about Kumail Nanjiani: He is not a person who is afraid of his feelings. I think he’s the opposite of that kind of person.
Kumail has made his emotional life part of his comedy – whether it’s his deep and abiding love for his wife (as told in the hit movie, “The Big Sick”), his obsession with his cat or the anxiety that grips him in the middle of the night – Kumail’s brand of comedy is often about how we feel our way through living.
His new standup special is on Hulu and it’s called “Night Thoughts.”
Lifestyle
Kylie Jenner Shows Off Figure in Backless Feather Dress
Kylie Jenner
Ultimate Showgirl with Backless, Curve Hugging Gown
… At Kylie Cosmetics Holiday Party!
Published
Kylie Jenner showed up to her Kylie Cosmetics holiday party in full showgirl glam … slipping into a skin-tight, feather-trimmed, backless dress that put her hourglass figure on display.
The makeup mogul was clearly feeling herself as she posed in an IG video she shared Wednesday night, playing with the pink feathers that framed her neck and making sure to give fans a shot of her junk in the trunk as she turned around to show off the halter gown from the back. She let the drama of the dress take center stage … opting for a simple makeup look and doing her hair up in a sleek, slicked back bun with a single curl placed on her forehead.
Kylie gave more love to her fun ‘fit on her IG story, twirling around in a video set to audio that said … “Kylie Jenner! What? Oh my God, you look like a Christmas fairy.”
Last night’s showstopping ensemble was just one of the sexy looks Kylie has gifted us with as of late — just a few days ago, she showed off her famous curves in a cheerful red latex dress at the OBB Media holiday party in West Hollywood.
And before that, she was nearly spilled out of the bright orange cutout gown she wore to support her beau, Timothée Chalamet, at the Los Angeles premiere of his latest film, “Marty Supreme.” And how can we forget the figure-hugging, cleavage-baring leather jacket she showed off on the ‘gram earlier this month?
Kylie just keeps on giving this holiday season with the jaw-dropping looks — she’s certainly on our nice list!
Lifestyle
‘Harry Potter’ fans are flying to Broadway to see the original Draco Malfoy
Tom Felton, left, who played Harry Potter’s nemesis Draco Malfoy in eight films, is now playing him live on stage.
Matthew Murphy/Harry Potter and the Cursed Child
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Matthew Murphy/Harry Potter and the Cursed Child
Almost eight years after Harry Potter and the Cursed Child opened, it has become the highest grossing show on Broadway. Why? Tom Felton, who played Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter’s nemesis at Hogwarts in the eight films, is now playing him onstage.
After every performance, crowds gather at the stage door to get autographs, selfies or just a close-up glimpse of Felton.
Anna Chan flew to New York from San Francisco to see him in the show. “I grew up watching the movies and reading the books as a kid,” she said, “so just seeing him reprising his role as Draco Malfoy is really exciting and just heartwarming to see. It’s kinda like a full circle moment for him.”
Felton feels the audience’s warmth. “I’m somewhat of a bookmark in their youth on the films,” he said. “To see them as excited as I am to be doing that again on the stage was… well, it’s overwhelming and it still is every night.”
Now 38, Felton spent much of his childhood, adolescence and young adulthood getting his hair bleached blond and sneering as the bully Draco Malfoy in the films. For 10 years, he worked with some of the finest actors of British stage and screen, including Dame Maggie Smith, Alan Rickman and Gary Oldman. Felton — and all the other young cast members — learned by example.
“You know, Alan Rickman making teas for the grips,” recalled Felton, “and Jason Isaacs telling anecdotes, Helena Bonham Carter sort of just being playful. I think that’s something that made the early Potter films very special — the adults around us did not take themselves too seriously. And so that allowed us to be playful.”
Tom Felton, right, with John Skelley as Harry Potter in Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, now on Broadway.
Matthew Murphy/Harry Potter and the Cursed Child
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Matthew Murphy/Harry Potter and the Cursed Child
Post-Potter, Felton has written a memoir and has appeared in films and on London’s West End. When he was given the opportunity to play an adult Draco Malfoy on Broadway for six months, he jumped.
“I do understand the character somewhat,” he said, “although Draco now is a dad.” In the play, Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy’s sons become friends and get into a mess of trouble.
In the first act, he and the older Harry have a wizard’s duel and Felton said that, during rehearsal, he added a familiar line from the films that wasn’t in the script.
“When Harry and Draco first decide, ‘Come on, let’s have a scrap, let’s have a battle,’ I think it just came up voluntarily. I said, ‘Scared Potter?’ Felton recalled, laughing. “And then it was sort of looked over and then someone came back to me a few days later and said, ‘We’ve got it in, your line suggestion.’”
The audience gets to see Malfoy and Potter fly through the air and electrical arcs come out of their wands live onstage. “Every night you can hear or feel, rather, at least half the audience go back to their childhood or older memories,” Felton said. “The first time that they saw Draco and Harry duel. And because this one’s live and in front of your face, it’s just only more exciting, I think.”
Felton said he’s proud to be part of the Harry Potter World, on film and on Broadway. He’ll be appearing in Harry Potter and the Cursed Child through May 10.
Jennifer Vanasco edited this story for broadcast and digital. Chloee Weiner mixed the audio.
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