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Modern parenting can be so isolating. This L.A. dad group builds a village while the kids play

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Modern parenting can be so isolating. This L.A. dad group builds a village while the kids play

In the back room of a children’s play space in Eagle Rock, Andrew Thomas asks a familiar parenting question: How do you stay calm when your kid is testing every last nerve?

Heads nod and chuckles fill the air. The participants — a handful of dads — begin sharing personal stories about toddlers that melt down like snow on summer asphalt, frayed patience and what it means to parent with intention. The conversation deepens, touching on masculinity and how hard it could be to ask for help.

Suddenly, Henry, 6, walks into the dads’ circle, cradling three baby dolls. Thomas, his dad and the group’s facilitator, does not miss a beat.

“Henry has very recently become a father to triplets,” he jokes.

Phil Klain and Robert Tellez during a Dads’ Group meeting.

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(Marcus Ubungen / For The Times)

At the Dads’ Group in Eagle Rock’s PlayLab, children and dolls are welcome, but dads and father figures take center stage. The free biweekly morning sessions are built around a simple idea: Dads need community too. The hour-long meetings bring the community support model back to parenting — especially for dads, an often-forgotten population for supportive care.

In Los Angeles, support groups exist to help moms move their bodies around strollers while blowing bubbles, and tour fire stations with the kids while fostering connections with other caregivers. Fewer opportunities exist for dads even as gender roles continue to evolve and men spend more time on the care of their children.

PlayLab’s Dads’ Group hopes to soften some of those sharp edges of fatherhood. Sessions are casual and small — usually with four to eight participants — and operate on a drop-in basis (though reservations are preferred). It’s a dad-led model for dads and father figures to receive the kind of care traditionally offered to mothers.

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The bonus is the space: PlayLab’s indoor play space is designed for young children to frolic and, in this case, witness dads build their emotional muscles. Here, vulnerability is welcome and the chance of an interruption from a child asking for a third snack is high.

In this meeting on a warm June morning, Leo, 5, wanders off to play the drums in the next room. Then he falls silent. His dad, Andrew Jacobs, quietly slides out of his seat in the support circle to check on his son. Leo is tucking an elephant stuffed animal into a toy bed. It’s nap time for the dolls and the elephant, and it turns out for dad talk too. The children ask for quiet. Voices drop to a whisper.

The next minute, the dads toggle their attention between the discussion and an impromptu game of catch between the kids and a heavy toy.

“Dads are going through all the same things moms are going through,” said Jacobs, 44. “Being able to talk to other people is really important and helpful.”

Nick Bender shares parenting tips with other dads in a discussion facilitated by Andrew Thomas, right, while Henry, 6, plays.

Nick Bender shares parenting tips with other dads in a discussion facilitated by Andrew Thomas, right, while Henry, 6, plays.

(Marcus Ubungen / For The Times)

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This meeting was Phil Klain’s first. He chose not to bring his 2-year-old son so he could be more present. Klain has been searching for a community like this. Earlier in his fatherhood journey, he joined a new dads’ group on social media, but found the space difficult to form connections — a challenge that sometimes seeps into real life.

“I’ve got friends I can talk about stuff with,” said Klain, 45, after the meeting. “But, do I?”

Modern parenting can be isolating — now more intense and more individualistic than ever with hyper-scheduled monitoring of children’s every milestone and moment. Sociologists call it “concerted cultivation,” said Jennifer Hook, a professor of sociology at the University of Southern California.

“Our expectations of parents have gone up, but we haven’t really provided them additional resources,” said Hook.

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At the same time, connections to supportive systems — the “village” of friends and family that helps raise children — have faded or become untenable. PlayLab’s ethos, said co-founder Jason Shoup, has always focused on the growth of the village’s connective tissue — especially for dads. When PlayLab’s new space in Hollywood opens this month, he hopes to launch a second version of the dads’ group in the new location.

A man sits in a chair on a deck with another standing beside him.

Playlab co-founder Jason Shoup, left, with Andrew Thomas, a parent coach and children’s television writer who facilitates the Dads’ Group.

(Marcus Ubungen / For The Times)

“If you’re part of a team,” said Shoup, 45, about parenting, “you should support the team.”

Shoup’s earlier iterations of a dads’ support group — including a sporadic weekend gathering called “Dadder-day” — all fizzled. Then last winter, Thomas, 39, a children’s television writer and a parent coach, pitched his services. Why not start a group for dads by dads?

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They kept the name simple: Dads’ Group. A necessity, said Thomas, because otherwise, dads won’t know the group is for them. In January, the meeting of the dads began.

Robert Tellez, 42, has attended most of the sessions. Before the first one, he anticipated a lot of silence.

“Like, crickets, right?” said the dad of two daughters. “And just awkwardness.”

Instead, he found a space that felt surprisingly safe.

“I didn’t know what I needed and how it felt. And so now that I’ve put myself into the situation of being a part of a dads’ group – participating, and being vulnerable, and giving advice, and taking advice – I know what that feels like now,” said Tellez.

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If the rest of the week is a high-octane rush of services for the children, these Sunday sessions are a reserve time for some of the dads to just be present.

In little moments, connections form. While shoes are being put back on, dads trade birthday party venue recommendations. Talk is also burgeoning about going to a nearby deli together after the meeting for lunch.

Main character energy

A man sits at a teal desk while working on a laptop.

Jason Shoup works on a computer at the front desk of the colorful PlayLab.

(Marcus Ubungen / For The Times)

In a traditional parenting binary, the mom is often labeled the default parent. Dads? They are cast in supporting roles.

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“Like the stereotype of the dad ‘babysitting’ his kid, right?” said Shawna J. Lee, a professor of social work at the University of Michigan. “It’s a very vexing phenomenon.”

Especially since fathers today are increasingly tackling more diverse childcare tasks like sculpting the perfect hair bun for a child’s ballet class or packing roasted broccolini in a school lunch.

“We, as a society, don’t do a great job of treating dads as equals,” said Lee. “I don’t know that every single mom out there is optimally well-prepared to parent any more than a dad is. It’s a little bit of a sink or swim, maybe for all of us, to some degree.”

If dads are continually being sidelined into secondary roles, added Lee, then they never get the chance to become experts in their parenting and in their parent-child relationship.

Because of these lingering gender norms, the barrier for dads to seek support can be high. Nick Bender, 39, saw the poster for Dads’ Group several times during visits to PlayLab with his 4-year-old daughter. It took a while to work up the nerve to go.

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“I didn’t know any of the other dads,” he said. “So, you know, it’s obviously nerve-racking to go into any new situation and, let alone, prepare to potentially be vulnerable about our lives.”

Now after each meeting, Bender feels seen. Last month, Thomas had to cancel a meeting at the last minute because of a family emergency. Bender didn’t get the message, so he showed up anyway and ended up chatting with some other dads for an hour.

Solo time is precious, he said with a laugh at the end of the meeting.

So is connection time.

Frank Lopez, 29, meant to bring his partner’s kids to attend the dads’ group, but he misread the start time. He missed the meeting, but the kids — a 4-year-old girl and a 6-year-old boy — still got to play in the sandbox. Lopez is new to fathering. He recently moved in with the kids and their mother. Today is a milestone: his first solo outing with the children.

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“It feels great, honestly, one for her trusting me to do so,” he said about his partner. “And then to the kids for cooperating. They’re usually like, ‘Where’s mommy? I want mommy.’ But now they like — wow — have that trust to just come with me.”

Lopez pauses and watches the kids fill a bucket with sand.

“I just want to make sure that I’m a good example,” he added.

He’s already planning to come back.

“And I’ll be on time next time.”

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Her 1951 walkout helped end school segregation. Now her statue is in the U.S. Capitol

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Her 1951 walkout helped end school segregation. Now her statue is in the U.S. Capitol

A model of the statue of Barbara Rose Johns pictured in 2023, two years before the real thing was unveiled at the U.S. Capitol.

Amy Davis/The Baltimore Sun/ZUMA Press Wire via Reuters


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Amy Davis/The Baltimore Sun/ZUMA Press Wire via Reuters

In 1951, a Black teenager led a walkout of her segregated Virginia high school. On Tuesday, her statue replaced that of a Confederate general in the U.S. Capitol.

Barbara Rose Johns was 16 when she mobilized hundreds of students to walk out of Farmville’s Robert Russa Moton High School to protest its overcrowded conditions and inferior facilities compared to those of the town’s white high school.

That fight was taken up by the NAACP and eventually became one of the five cases that the U.S. Supreme Court reviewed in Brown v. Board of Education, whose landmark 1954 ruling declared school segregation unconstitutional.

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“Before the sit-ins in Greensboro, before the Montgomery bus boycott, there was the student strike here in 1951, led by Barbara Johns,” Cameron Patterson told NPR in 2020, when he led the Robert Russa Moton Museum, located on the former school grounds.

Johns’ bronze statue is the latest addition to Emancipation Hall, a gathering place in the U.S. Capitol Visitor Center that houses many of the 100 statues representing each state.

Every state legislature gets to honor two notable individuals from its history with statues in the Capitol. For over a century, Virginia was represented by George Washington and, until a few years ago, Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee.

Lee’s statue was hoisted out of the Capitol — at the request of then-Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam, a Democrat — in December 2020, the year that a nationwide racial reckoning spurred the removal of over 100 Confederate symbols across the U.S.

The same month, Virginia’s Commission on Historical Statues in the United States Capitol voted unanimously to select a statue of Johns to replace it. Johns, who died in 1991, was chosen from a list of 100 names and five finalists, including Pocahontas and Maggie Lena Walker, the first Black woman to serve as president of a U.S. bank.

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Exactly five years and a multi-step approval process later, the 11-foot statue — created by Maryland artist Steven Weitzman — has finally moved in. It shows a teenage Johns standing at a podium, raising a book overhead mid-rallying cry.

Its pedestal is engraved with the words: “Are we going to just accept these conditions, or are we going to do something about it?”

Johns is credited with helping end school segregation

Johns was born in New York City in March 1935, and moved to Virginia’s Prince Edward County during World War II to live on her grandmother’s — and later, father’s — farm.

According to the Moton Museum, Johns — the niece of civil rights pioneer the Rev. Vernon Johns — grew increasingly frustrated by the lack of resources at her school. Classrooms were located in free-standing tar-paper shacks that lacked proper plumbing, with no science laboratories, cafeteria or gymnasium at all.

She later wrote in an unpublished memoir that when she finally took her concerns to a teacher, they responded, “Why don’t you do something about it?” She felt dismissed at first, but gave the idea more thought and decided to unite the student council members to coordinate a strike.

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“We would make signs and I would give a speech stating our dissatisfaction and we would march out [of] the school and people would hear us and see us and understand our difficulty and would sympathize with our plight and would grant us our new school building and our teachers would be proud and the students would learn more and it would be grand,” Johns wrote, according to the museum.

On April 23, 1951, Johns gathered all 450 students in the auditorium and convinced them to walk out, to protest their school’s conditions and campaign for a new building. The strike lasted roughly two weeks and caught the attention of the NAACP.

NAACP lawyers Spottswood Robinson and Oliver Hill filed a lawsuit (Davis et al. v. County School Board of Prince Edward County, Virginia) in federal court, challenging the constitutionality of segregated education in the county’s schools.

The court ultimately sided with the county, but did order that its Black schools be made physically equal to white schools. A new Black Moton High School — known as “Moton 2” — was built in 1953 to avoid integration.

The following year, the Supreme Court declared school segregation unconstitutional in Brown v. Board of Ed, based on the Farmville case and four others from across the country. But it took years for the ruling to actually be enforced throughout the U.S., especially in Virginia, which enacted a set of anti-integration laws that came to be known as “Massive Resistance.”

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Prince Edward County schools were officially integrated in 1964, after being closed for five years in an attempt to avoid it. Moton 2 was reopened as the Prince Edward County High School and remained in use until 1993.

As for Johns, she was sent after the walkout to live with relatives and finish her schooling in Alabama due to safety concerns. She attended Spelman College and graduated from Drexel University before working as a librarian for Philadelphia Public Schools. She married the Rev. William Powell, with whom she raised five children before her death at age 56.

Johns has been recognized in Virginia over the years. Her story is now a required part of lessons in the public school curricula. In 2017, the Virginia Attorney General’s Offices were renamed in her honor. And the following year, the Virginia General Assembly designated April 23 — the anniversary of the walkout — as Barbara Johns Day statewide.

Johns’ sister, Joan Johns Cobbs, told member station VPM last year that their family is honored by this newest tribute in the nation’s capital.

“I think Virginia is trying to correct some of its inequities,” Johns Cobbs said. “I think the fact that they chose her was one way they are trying to rectify what happened in the past.”

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Bucking a trend in 2025

Plans for Johns’ statue have been in motion since well before President Trump’s second term, which has been marked by a rollback in diversity initiatives and the reinstallment of Confederate monuments.

One of Trump’s executive orders along those lines, aimed at “restoring truth and sanity to American history,” calls on the secretary of the Interior to restore public monuments and markers on federal lands that have been changed or removed since 2020.

In October, a statue of Confederate Gen. Albert Pike was reinstalled in a D.C. park, five years after protesters tore it down and set it ablaze.

As is customary, state leaders and members of Congress will be in attendance at Tuesday’s statue unveiling. Among them will be House Speaker Mike Johnson as well as Virginia Gov. Glenn Youngkin, a Republican who campaigned in part against critical race theory and has eliminated DEI initiatives in office.

Sen. Tim Kaine, D-Va., who also plans to attend the ceremony, issued a statement beforehand praising Johns’ “incredible bravery and leadership she displayed when she walked out of Moton High School.”

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“I’m thrilled that millions of visitors to the U.S. Capitol, including many young people, will now walk by her statue and learn about her story,” he added. “May she continue to inspire generations to stand up for equality and justice.”

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Noah Schnapp Says There Were Tears on ‘Stranger Things’ Set After Filming Finale

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Noah Schnapp Says There Were Tears on ‘Stranger Things’ Set After Filming Finale

‘Stranger Things’ Noah Schnapp
Tears Flowed After Filming Wrapped …
Finale Is Super Sad!!!

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Rob Reiner said he was ‘never, ever too busy’ for his son

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Rob Reiner said he was ‘never, ever too busy’ for his son

Rob Reiner at the Cannes film festival in 2022.

Andreas Rentz/Getty Images


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Andreas Rentz/Getty Images

When Rob Reiner spoke with Fresh Air in September to promote Spinal Tap II: The End Continues, Terry Gross asked him about Being Charlie, a 2015 film he collaborated on with his son Nick Reiner. The film was a semiautobiographical story of addiction and homelessness, based on Nick’s own experiences.

Nick Reiner was arrested Sunday evening after Rob and Michele Reiner were found dead inside their California home.

The father character in Being Charlie feels a lot of tension between his own career aspirations and his son’s addiction — but Reiner said that wasn’t how it was for him and Nick.

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“I was never, ever too busy,” Reiner told Fresh Air. “I mean, if anything, I was the other way, you know, I was more hands-on and trying to do whatever I thought I could do to help. I’m sure I made mistakes and, you know, I’ve talked about that with him since.”

At the time, Reiner said he believed Nick was doing well. “He’s been great … hasn’t been doing drugs for over six years,” Reiner said. “He’s in a really good place.”

Reiner starred in the 1970s sitcom, All in the Family and directed Stand By Me, The Princess Bride, When Harry Met Sally and A Few Good Men. Spinal Tap II: The End Continues is a sequel to his groundbreaking 1984 mockumentary This Is Spinal Tap.

“After 15 years of not working together, we came back and started looking at this and seeing if we could come up with an idea, and we started schnadling right away,” Reiner recalled. “It was like falling right back in with friends that you hadn’t talked to in a long time. It’s like jazz musicians, you just fall in and do what you do.”

Below are some more highlights from that interview.

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Interview Highlights

Carl Reiner (left) and Rob Reiner together in 2017.

Carl Reiner (left) and Rob Reiner together in 2017.

Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images for TCM


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On looking up to his dad, director Carl Reiner, and growing up surrounded by comedy legends 

When I was a little boy, my parents said that I came up to them and I said, “I want to change my name.” I was about 8 years old … They were all, “My god, this poor kid. He’s worried about being in the shadow of this famous guy and living up to all this.” And they say, “Well, what do you want to change your name to?” And I said, “Carl.” I loved him so much, I just wanted to be like him and I wanted to do what he did and I just looked up to him so much. …

[When] I was 19 … I was sitting with him in the backyard and he said to me, “I’m not worried about you. You’re gonna be great at whatever you do.” He lives in my head all the time. I had two great guides in my life. I had my dad, and then Norman Lear was like a second father. They’re both gone, but they’re with me always. …

There’s a picture in my office of all the writers who wrote for Sid Caesar and [Your] Show of Shows over the nine years, I guess, that they were on. And, when you look at that picture, you’re basically looking at everything you ever laughed at in the first half of the 20th century. I mean there’s Mel Brooks, there’s my dad, there is Neil Simon, there is Woody Allen, there is Larry Gelbart, Joe Stein who wrote Fiddler on the Roof, Aaron Ruben who created The Andy Griffith Show. Anything you ever laughed at is represented by those people. So these are the people I look up to, and these are people that were around me as a kid growing up.

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On directing the famous diner scene in When Harry Met Sally

We knew we were gonna do a scene where Meg [Ryan] was gonna fake an orgasm in an incongruous place like a deli, and Billy [Crystal] came up with the line, “I’ll have what she’s having.” … I said, we need to find somebody, an older Jewish woman, who could deliver that line, which would seem incongruous. I thought of my mother because my mother had done a couple of little [movie] things … So I asked her if she wanted to do it and she said sure. I said, “Now listen mom, hopefully that’ll be the topper of the scene. It’ll get the big laugh, and if it doesn’t, I may have to cut it out.” … She said, “That’s fine. I just want to spend the day with you. I’ll go to Katz’s. I’ll get a hot dog.” …

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When we did the scene the first couple of times through Meg was kind of tepid about it. She didn’t give it her all. … She was nervous. She’s in front of the crew and there’s extras and people. … And at one point, I get in there and I said, “Meg, let me show you what I meant.” And I sat opposite Billy, and I’m acting it out, and I’m pounding the table and I’m going, “Yes, yes, yes!” … I turned to Billy and I say, “This is embarrassing … I just had an orgasm in front of my mother.” But then Meg came in and she did it obviously way better than I could do it.

On differentiating himself from his father with Stand By Me (1986) 

I never said specifically I want to be a film director. I never said that. And I never really thought that way. I just knew I wanted to act, direct, and do things, be in the world that he was in. And it wasn’t until I did Stand By Me that I really started to feel very separate and apart from my father. Because the first film I did was, This Is Spinal Tap, which is a satire. And my father had trafficked in satire with Sid Caesar for many years. And then the second film I did was a film called The Sure Thing, which was a romantic comedy for young people, and my father had done romantic comedy. The [Dick] Van Dyke Show is a romantic comedy, a series.

But when I did Stand By Me, it was the one that was closest to me because … I felt that my father didn’t love me or understand me, and it was the character of Gordie that expressed those things. And the film was a combination of nostalgia, emotion and a lot of humor. And it was a real reflection of my personality. It was an extension, really, of my sensibility. And when it became successful, I said, oh, OK. I can go in the direction that I want to go in and not feel like I have to mirror everything my father’s done up till then.

On starting his own production company (Castle Rock) and how the business has changed

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We started it so I could have some kind of autonomy because I knew that the kinds of films I wanted to make people didn’t wanna make. I mean, I very famously went and talked to Dawn Steel, who was the head of Paramount at the time. … And she says to me, “What do you wanna make? What’s your next film?” And I said, “Well, you know, I got a film, but I don’t think you’re going to want to do it.” … I’m going to make a movie out of The Princess Bride. And she said, “Anything but that.” So I knew that I needed to have some way of financing my own films, which I did for the longest time. …

It’s tough now. And it’s beyond corporate. I mean, it used to be there was “show” and “business.” They were equal — the size of the word “show” and “business.” Now, you can barely see the word “show,” and it’s all “business.” And the only things that they look at [are] how many followers, how many likes, what the algorithms are. They’re not thinking about telling a story. … I still wanna tell stories. And I’m sure there’s a lot of young filmmakers — even Scorsese is still doing it, older ones too — that wanna tell a story. And I think people still wanna hear stories and they wanna see stories.

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