Lifestyle
L.A. Affairs: My search for a three-way offered something more: true friendship
On a Saturday night during April of last year, I found myself at La Cita, a bar in downtown L.A., with my best friend Sam. We had just come from a Springfest concert at USC, where I was a master’s student, and we felt like continuing the night.
It ended with me meeting Gil, a former UCLA student with a mustache-and-goatee combo and a sarcastic sense of humor.
Over the summer, Gil and I kept texting and would meet up here and there. At one point, my other friend from school and I ended up at a bar by his house. I told him he should join us.
“What, like a three-way?” he responded jokingly.
That joke opened Pandora’s box, because the next thing I knew, he asked me if I ever had a three-way. I told him no, but I wanted to give it a try. I’m bisexual. He told me that we should arrange one.
He learned about an app called 3Fun, where couples can meet a “unicorn,” or a person willing to join a couple for some sexual fun. However, I noticed that the app was disproportionately outnumbered by couples than by single girls. So we realized we needed another strategy.
He knew I had my Hinge set to “girls” already, so he suggested I ask some of the women there if they wanted to have a three-way with us. I’m not exactly sure how we didn’t get banned from Hinge, but over the next couple months, in my free time, that is what I did. I went searching for possibilities.
In the winter, work was slow, so I had more time. I matched with a woman named Natalia. She was from another state but she was in Los Angeles, staying with her sister for the holidays. I asked her when she was available.
The only days she was free to meet up were days Gil was out of town, but one of her available days was New Year’s Eve.
I didn’t have any plans and I wanted to go out and party. So we did. We met at a bar to talk first, then we went to a club and danced all night. She was my New Year’s kiss and became one of my best friends. We started talking every day after that on text, direct messages on Instagram and TikTok. We told each other about everything going on in our lives and shared funny Reels. I even went to visit her in Texas for her birthday.
A few months later, I went into one of the worst depressions of my life. It usually hits at the beginning of every year. At the same time, Gil and I started drifting apart. I still had my Hinge open to girls, but I didn’t actively use the app.
One day in February, I got a direct message from Genesis, whom I matched with a couple months before but didn’t talk to for long. She told me she had just left a bad relationship and wanted to talk about it with someone. She didn’t have a lot of other friends to turn to.
I knew what that was like. Three years before, I had been in an abusive relationship in which my ex isolated me from my friends. After I got out of that five-year relationship, my best friend Sam started taking me to clubs, and that helped me to have fun and build more confidence. I thought the same effort could help Genesis.
I told her that we should go to Beso, a new club in Downey not far from where she lives. When I pulled up to her house, I had two blue BuzzBallz cocktails for us each. As we pre-gamed, we vented about men and how we felt so many of them were untrustworthy.
It felt nice to talk and relate to her.
Later, as we lined up to get into Beso, she was worried the drinks at the club would be expensive. But I told her not to worry. We wouldn’t be the ones paying for them.
Within two minutes of being at Beso, two guys bought us drinks. We did some laps around the dance floor and found a group of girls to join. (We still follow them on Instagram.) At the end of the night, some guys invited us to their barbershop to keep drinking, so we went. The next night, I woke up on Genesis’ couch. She became my partner in crime.
Genesis and I went out every weekend after that. We’d go to clubs like the Reserve and the Yost, and we’d always make new friends each time that we went out.
One time, we followed DJs home to their trap house and stayed there until the afternoon of the next day. Another time, we ended up stranded on Hollywood Boulevard with both of our phones dead. I felt like I finally met someone as wild as me.
At the same time I started hanging out with Genesis, I found Lindsay, whom I also met on Hinge. She introduced me to upscale parties and promoters so I could get into VIP sections. Together, Lindsay and I got into bottle service at Poppy, the nightclub on La Cienega Boulevard, to see rapper Mike Sherm, who follows her on Instagram.
Lindsay is a model, so I’d go to photo shoots with her. With Lindsay, I always felt like a bad bitch. In June, I went to see the Weeknd at the SoFi Stadium with Lindsay and Natalia.
What I love about Natalia, Genesis and Lindsay is that they always listen, give me advice and remind me I deserve someone who will put as much effort into a relationship as I do. I realized that the love I was searching for was actually with those girls who were there for me throughout the whole thing. I was looking for a third, but I ended up finding three best friends.
The author is an independent journalist in Los Angeles. She lives in Hacienda Heights. Her Substack is victoriaevalenzuela.substack.com.
L.A. Affairs chronicles the search for romantic love in all its glorious expressions in the L.A. area, and we want to hear your true story. We pay $400 for a published essay. Email LAAffairs@latimes.com. You can find submission guidelines here. You can find past columns here.
Lifestyle
Timothée Chalamet brings a lot to the table in ‘Marty Supreme’
Timothée Chalamet plays a shoe salesman who dreams of becoming the greatest table tennis player in the world in Marty Supreme.
A24
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A24
Last year, while accepting a Screen Actors Guild award for A Complete Unknown, Timothée Chalamet told the audience, “I want to be one of the greats; I’m inspired by the greats.” Many criticized him for his immodesty, but I found it refreshing: After all, Chalamet has never made a secret of his ambition in his interviews or his choice of material.
In his best performances, you can see both the character and the actor pushing themselves to greatness, the way Chalamet did playing Bob Dylan in A Complete Unknown, which earned him the second of two Oscar nominations. He’s widely expected to receive a third for his performance in Josh Safdie’s thrilling new movie, Marty Supreme, in which Chalamet pushes himself even harder still.
Chalamet plays Marty Mauser, a 23-year-old shoe salesman in 1952 New York who dreams of being recognized as the greatest table-tennis player in the world. He’s a brilliant player, but for a poor Lower East Side Jewish kid like Marty, playing brilliantly isn’t enough: Simply getting to championship tournaments in London and Tokyo will require money he doesn’t have.

And so Marty, a scrappy, speedy dynamo with a silver tongue and inhuman levels of chutzpah, sets out to borrow, steal, cheat, sweet-talk and hustle his way to the top. He spends almost the entire movie on the run, shaking down friends and shaking off family members, hatching new scams and fleeing the folks he’s already scammed, and generally trying to extricate himself from disasters of his own making.
Marty is very loosely based on the real-life table-tennis pro Marty Reisman. But as a character, he’s cut from the same cloth as the unstoppable antiheroes of Uncut Gems and Good Time, both of which Josh Safdie directed with his brother Benny. Although Josh directed Marty Supreme solo, the ferocious energy of his filmmaking is in line with those earlier New York nail-biters, only this time with a period setting. Most of the story unfolds against a seedy, teeming postwar Manhattan, superbly rendered by the veteran production designer Jack Fisk as a world of shadowy game rooms and rundown apartments.
Early on, though, Marty does make his way to London, where he finagles a room at the same hotel as Kay Stone, a movie star past her 1930s prime. She’s played by Gwyneth Paltrow, in a luminous and long-overdue return to the big screen. Marty is soon having a hot fling with Kay, even as he tries to swindle her ruthless businessman husband, Milton Rockwell, played by the Canadian entrepreneur and Shark Tank regular Kevin O’Leary.
Marty Supreme is full of such ingenious, faintly meta bits of stunt casting. The rascally independent filmmaker Abel Ferrara turns up as a dog-loving mobster. The real-life table-tennis star Koto Kawaguchi plays a Japanese champ who beats Marty in London and leaves him spoiling for a rematch. And Géza Röhrig, from the Holocaust drama Son of Saul, pops up as Marty’s friend Bela Kletzki, a table tennis champ who survived Auschwitz. Bela tells his story in one of the film’s best and strangest scenes, a death-camp flashback that proves crucial to the movie’s meaning.
In one early scene, Marty brags to some journalists that he’s “Hitler’s worst nightmare.” It’s not a stretch to read Marty Supreme as a kind of geopolitical parable, culminating in an epic table-tennis match, pitting a Jewish player against a Japanese one, both sides seeking a hard-won triumph after the horrors of World War II.

The personal victory that Marty seeks would also be a symbolic one, striking a blow for Jewish survival and assimilation — and regeneration: I haven’t yet mentioned a crucial subplot involving Marty’s close friend Rachel, terrifically played by Odessa A’zion, who’s carrying his child and gets sucked into his web of lies.
Josh Safdie, who co-wrote and co-edited the film with Ronald Bronstein, doesn’t belabor his ideas. He’s so busy entertaining you, as Marty ping-pongs from one catastrophe to the next, that you’d be forgiven for missing what’s percolating beneath the movie’s hyperkinetic surface.
Marty himself, the most incorrigible movie protagonist in many a moon, has already stirred much debate; many find his company insufferable and his actions indefensible. But the movies can be a wonderfully amoral medium, and I found myself liking Marty Mauser — and not just liking him, but actually rooting for him to succeed. It takes more than a good actor to pull that off. It takes one of the greats.

Lifestyle
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Lifestyle
Hungarian filmmaker Béla Tarr — known for bleak, existential movies — has died
Hungarian director Béla Tarr at the Berlin International Film Festival in 2011.
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Béla Tarr, the Hungarian arthouse director best known for his bleak, existential and challenging films, including Sátántangó and Werckmeister Harmonies, has died at the age of 70. The Hungarian Filmmakers’ Association shared a statement on Tuesday announcing Tarr’s passing after a serious illness, but did not specify further details.
Tarr was born in communist-era Hungary in 1955 and made his filmmaking debut in 1979 with Family Nest, the first of nine feature films that would culminate in his 2011 film The Turin Horse. Damnation, released in 1988 at the Berlin International Film Festival, was his first film to draw global acclaim, and launched Tarr from a little-known director of social dramas to a fixture on the international film festival circuit.
Tarr’s reputation for films tinged with misery and hard-heartedness, distinguished by black-and-white cinematography and unusually long sequences, only grew throughout the 1990s and 2000s, particularly after his 1994 film Sátántangó. The epic drama, following a Hungarian village facing the fallout of communism, is best known for its length, clocking in at seven-and-a-half hours.
Based on the novel by Hungarian writer László Krasznahorkai, who won the Nobel Prize in Literature last year and frequently collaborated with Tarr, the film became a touchstone for the “slow cinema” movement, with Tarr joining the ranks of directors such as Andrei Tarkovsky, Chantal Akerman and Theo Angelopoulos. Writer and critic Susan Sontag hailed Sátántangó as “devastating, enthralling for every minute of its seven hours.”
Tarr’s next breakthrough came in 2000 with his film Werckmeister Harmonies, the first of three movies co-directed by his partner, the editor Ágnes Hranitzky. Another loose adaptation of a Krasznahorkai novel, the film depicts the strange arrival of a circus in a small town in Hungary. With only 39 shots making up the film’s two-and-a-half-hour runtime, Tarr’s penchant for long takes was on full display.
Like Sátántangó, it was a major success with both critics and the arthouse crowd. Both films popularized Tarr’s style and drew the admiration of independent directors such as Jim Jarmusch and Gus Van Sant, the latter of which cited Tarr as a direct influence on his films: “They get so much closer to the real rhythms of life that it is like seeing the birth of a new cinema. He is one of the few genuinely visionary filmmakers.”
The actress Tilda Swinton is another admirer of Tarr’s, and starred in the filmmaker’s 2007 film The Man from London. At the premiere, Tarr announced that his next film would be his last. That 2011 film, The Turin Horse, was typically bleak but with an apocalyptic twist, following a man and his daughter as they face the end of the world. The film won the Grand Jury Prize at the Berlin International Film Festival.
After the release of The Turin Horse, Tarr opened an international film program in 2013 called film.factory as part of the Sarajevo Film Academy. He led and taught in the school for four years, inviting various filmmakers and actors to teach workshops and mentor students, including Swinton, Van Sant, Jarmusch, Juliette Binoche and Gael García Bernal.
In the last years of his life, he worked on a number of artistic projects, including an exhibition at a film museum in Amsterdam. He remained politically outspoken throughout his life, condemning the rise of nationalism and criticizing the government of Hungarian leader Viktor Orbán.
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