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L.A. Affairs: He hadn't dated since 1989. Did a relationship with him stand a chance?

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L.A. Affairs: He hadn't dated since 1989. Did a relationship with him stand a chance?

“I don’t want to go.”

“I get it.”

I was on the phone with my emotional support friend Jill, who was trying to pump me up to meet someone new despite her awareness of my latest soul-crushing connections. “You have had a challenging run lately, but you never know when it might turn around,” she said.

The idealist in me wanted to believe Jill could be right, but the realist in me wasn’t convinced. Despite delving into the app dating world in my early 50s with zero expectations and vowing not to be attached to any specific outcomes, I had grown weary from the process. But I was wearing heels and makeup and I’d blown out my hair in an effort that had felt Herculean ever since COVID. It would have been a shame for it all to go to waste.

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I was meeting a date at Hugo’s in West Hollywood at 5:30 p.m. I left late because I was procrastinating, and then, thanks to L.A. traffic, got there at 5:45 p.m.

When I finally arrived after texting to let him know of my delay, I rushed up, trying to pull myself together. “I am so sorry.”

“Hi, you made it.” He got up for a quick hug and then walked behind me as I tried to figure out what was happening. He pulled my chair out for me. I acted as though this was an everyday occurrence. It definitely was not.

I had quickly learned to be prepared for dates to look worse than their worst profile picture; he looked even better than his best picture. The cynic in me was still on high alert for the red flags that were inevitably coming, but he was warm, with an easygoing demeanor, and very comfortable in his own skin. It turns out he was a very sought-after golf instructor who luckily didn’t care that I had never played.

“I like that you just reached over and ate one of my potatoes.” He was smiling and seemed genuinely pleased that I had done so. I hadn’t even realized I had scarfed down one of his potatoes, let alone without asking.

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“I never do that. I must feel comfortable,” I said. Someone eating off my plate definitely annoyed me in most situations, but this felt different. I’m pretty sure I would have given him all of my potatoes had he maneuvered his fork in my direction. After he went to put money in the parking meter and actually came back, I was relieved. He later told me he was relieved I was still there when he returned.

“Am I talking too much?” I asked. I sometimes did that when I had nervous energy. “Not at all. I like learning about you,” he said.

He told me he had been in an almost 25-year marriage and, other than a few recent Bumble dates, he hadn’t dated since 1989. When he said he had no idea what he was doing, I told him I had been dating a lot recently and he was doing better than 99.9% of the men out there. I told him I hadn’t been in a relationship in almost 20 years, having prioritized my career for many years.

I was used to being interrogated about never having been married, but he didn’t seem to judge my choices. I told him about some of the most egregious dating offenses I had endured: he who suggested that we dine and dash and didn’t seem to be kidding, he who asked for business contacts after I declined a second date, he who took home my leftovers on the first date, he who contorted his body to go in for a kiss as I very pointedly went in for a hug. I could’ve continued late into the night.

He laughed and told me about his more run-of-the-mill dates, with whom he just hadn’t felt any romantic connection. One had cats, which would have been problematic since he was highly allergic. One might have been a hoarder.

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It was quickly evident that we shared a similar sense of humor and prioritized the same attributes, such as honesty, kindness and a propensity for always trying to do the right thing. I also was pleasantly surprised that he ordered an iced tea; I had stopped drinking alcohol a month before.

He told me he went on Bumble on a whim because it scared him, which I admired. It was endearing that he had stepped outside his comfort zone, especially after not having dated since he was 21. After talking for more than three hours, he walked me to my car.

He gave me a quick hug, opened my car door and said, “Talk to you soon” — and then quickly walked away after patting me on the shoulder. It was the best first date I’d ever had, but the “Talk to you soon” really threw me. Was this a blow-off?

Later, while I was obsessively pondering whether I would ever hear from him again, he texted to make sure I got home safely. “I failed to tell you how great you looked tonight. I hope you can forgive me. I’m falling on my sword.” This could have felt cheesy, and yet I melted, a testament to his genuineness.

The next day I went on a horrible first coffee date that had been previously scheduled. It lasted 40 minutes, about 37 minutes too long. When I got to my car, I found Mr. Perfect First Date had texted again. “I’m sure there’s some stupid rule about texting you today, but I wanted you to know I had a really good time last night,” he wrote.

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“In that case, should I have waited at least five hours to text you back?” I replied.

“Ha, yes, and I shouldn’t be sending you this response right now.”

“Should we agree that we don’t have to play by any rules?” I asked.

I was so tired from all the complicated dating noise that seemed to persist even at my age, so I was relieved he wasn’t playing games.

“Yes, please, “ he replied.

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“Perfect, we just solved all the world’s problems.”

I didn’t hear from him for a couple of hours and then: “The next challenge is me asking you out again. Forward of me I know.”

“Let me think about it,” I teased. I let about a minute pass. “Kidding, yes, that would be lovely.”

“Phew, I was worried.”

We still don’t play by any rules. And I still don’t know anything about golf.

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The author is new to writing after more than 20 years as a creative executive in the entertainment industry. She lives in Los Angeles with Mr. Perfect First Date. She’s on Instagram: @jobethplatt

L.A. Affairs chronicles the search for romantic love in all its glorious expressions in the L.A. area, and we want to hear your true story. We pay $400 for a published essay. Email LAAffairs@latimes.com. You can find submission guidelines here. You can find past columns here.

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Shy on the dance floor? Virtual reality ‘partners’ aim to help you find your groove

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Shy on the dance floor? Virtual reality ‘partners’ aim to help you find your groove

Entrepreneur David Huang tests out a VR headset while conducting demonstrations of the social dance lesson app Dance Guru at the Augmented World Expo in Long Beach, Calif., June 17, 2026.

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Wedding season is in full swing, bringing with it a familiar sense of dread for anyone who fears the dance floor.

But relief may finally be at hand with the help of a new app, Dance Guru, and a virtual reality (VR) headset.

The social dance instruction app transports users to a spacious, digital dance studio. Waiting inside is a computer-generated coach: a handsome, male avatar wearing a shirt open to his navel. He speaks with a slightly gravelly English accent.

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“Watch me now,” he instructs at the start of a waltz lesson — which NPR tried out at the Augmented World Expo in Long Beach, Calif., an annual conference showcasing the latest developments in virtual and augmented reality.

The avatar then demonstrates a basic box step.

From there, the lesson becomes interactive. The coach tells the user to hold his hand while an electric pinging sound tracks the student’s foot placement.

“One, two, three, four, five, six,” the virtual teacher counts down.

When the user stumbles, he remains remarkably patient. “Do not worry, foundations take time. Let’s try that again. Work on grounding your steps more intentionally.”

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Solving the beginner’s dilemma

Dance Guru creator David Huang said he came up with the idea for the app a couple of years ago out of frustration.

“I always wanted to learn to dance and I was always terrible at it,” Huang said. “And I always ended up stopping midway through the lessons.”

He soon realized that many beginners hit the exact same roadblocks.

“Private lessons are too expensive, and you feel like you’re always forgetting the dance steps,” Huang said. “You cannot find a partner to dance with. So I figured maybe I can create something like this.”

The Dance Guru platform currently offers tutorials in salsa, bachata, waltz, and cha-cha, in both lead and follow modes. To make the digital instruction feel authentic, Huang used motion-capture technology to record the movements of real-life dance teachers — with their permission.

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Building on the legacy of online tutorials and video games

Dance Guru belongs to a small but growing wave of apps using VR to demystify social dance. At a nearby booth, conference attendee Victor Chen is testing out a competing app called Trip the Light. It currently offers salsa lessons, as well as freestyle options, where a user can dance with a partner without having to learn specific steps.

Trip the Light's booth at the Augmented World Expo included posters of the app's virtual instructors. Real-life performers, who gave Trip the Light permission to motion capture their movements, were used as a basis for these avatars.

Trip the Light’s booth at the Augmented World Expo included posters of the app’s virtual instructors. Real-life performers, who gave Trip the Light permission to motion capture their movements, were used as a basis for these avatars.

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“A lot of times when you’re trying to learn a choreography, it’s watching a YouTube video and you have to pause it, rewind, and play it,” Chen said. “If you were to have a virtual avatar dancing in front of you and correcting for any parts that you missed, it might be a lot easier.”

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How to have the best Sunday in L.A., according to Deidre Hall

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How to have the best Sunday in L.A., according to Deidre Hall

For half a century, Deidre Hall has taken on every kind of disaster in the drama-packed town of Salem, Ill., as a star of “Days of Our Lives.”

There was the time — actually, it happened twice — when her character, Dr. Marlena Evans, was famously possessed by the devil and even levitated.

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In Sunday Funday, L.A. people give us a play-by-play of their ideal Sunday around town. Find ideas and inspiration on where to go, what to eat and how to enjoy life on the weekends.

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Or the time a serial killer, who was actually Marlena under hypnosis, seemed to kill several beloved characters. The long-running show’s storylines have become legendary, and in March, while promoting “Hail Mary,” actor Ryan Gosling even gave Hall a shout-out, admitting he was a fan, praising the hard work of soap opera actors and calling her an “OG acting inspiration.”

But Hall’s real life in Santa Monica is much quieter than her character’s, and she likes it that way.

“When I bought my house in Santa Monica, I didn’t realize how great it would be to live near Montana Avenue,” says Hall, 78, about the popular shopping spot. Every day, she walks to the main street with her golden retriever, Riley, and enjoys Pilates, art and good food along the way. “The owners of the Farms Market even keep dog biscuits, so guess where the dog wants to go every time we walk — the Farms, of course,” she says, laughing.

When she isn’t filming the daily soap opera, which airs on Peacock, Hall enjoys raising monarch butterflies, exploring the shops and restaurants on Montana, and hosting movie nights at home with her two sons.

Here’s what a perfect day in L.A. looks like for her.

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This interview has been lightly edited and condensed for length and clarity.

7 a.m.: Breakfast and dog walk

I usually kick off my day with a protein shake, feed our golden retriever and take her out for a walk. She’s a phenomenal girl. When we adopted her, her name was Riley, but I did think about naming her after Mrs. Hughes from “Downton Abbey.”

10 a.m.: Church and garden time

After I walk the dog and go to church, I like to spend some time in my yard. I’m not a natural gardener, but I really enjoy it. I started raising monarch butterflies because my identical twin sister, who played my twin on the show, planted a butterfly garden. Monarchs are amazing because they are transitional. Every year, they travel from Mexico to southern New England, but it’s getting harder for them. Their numbers have dropped by about 80%. To help, I plant milkweed, which is what they need to survive. I buy my milkweed from the Staghorn Garden on Wilshire Boulevard in Santa Monica. Julie, who owns the nursery, is delightful and has a wide variety of milkweed. The monarchs always seem to find my garden. Julie was raising some caterpillars too, and she cared a lot about them. We talked about how important it is to help the butterflies. That’s why I do this. Sometimes I get milkweed with eggs already on it, and Julie knows her butterflies are going to a good home.

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1 p.m.: Walk to Montana Avenue for some lunch

I live near Montana and love taking long walks, going to Pilates and trying out the great restaurants nearby, like R+D Kitchen and La La Land. I’m a big fan of the waffles at the Courtyard Kitchen. Just a few days ago, I had a chicken salad on raisin bread with an Arnold Palmer, and it was delicious. It is right on Montana and has a nice outdoor seating area. It’s one of my favorite spots. La La Land always has a long line in the morning, which is perfect if you want coffee. They serve coffee, doughnuts, croissants and avocado toast. There’s plenty of outdoor seating, and you can even bring your dog.

2 p.m.: Peek inside a clock shop

There’s a small clock shop on Montana Avenue that’s closed on Sundays, but if you walk by, you’ll see all kinds of clocks — standing, table and wall clocks. The owner is great at fixing them. Once, I bought a wall clock from MacKenzie-Childs, but it didn’t work. And I was really upset because it matched everything else on my countertop. I brought it to the owner and said, “I love this, but I can’t make it work.” He fixed it right away. His name is John, but I call him Geppetto. And we all know why. He really does have a magic touch.

2:30 p.m.: Visit a neighborhood art gallery

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Ten Women Gallery is run by 10 artists, all of whom show their work there. I was drawn to some watercolors there, bought a few cards and spoke with one of the artists. She told me, “You seem to love watercolors,” and mentioned that the artist who painted them, Pamela Harnois, lives in Los Angeles and teaches nearby. I got Pamela’s name and found out she taught at the Brentwood Art School. I was so inspired by her gift that I started taking private lessons with her on Saturdays. That gallery is where I discovered my love for watercolor painting.

3 p.m.: Grab some ice cream at Rori’s

The other day, my longtime girlfriend wanted to get ice cream and told me, “We are walking to Rori’s Artisanal Creamery.” It’s a small shop on Montana near Lincoln. They make everything themselves, using local ingredients from grass-fed cows with no added hormones. The place is family-owned and probably has the healthiest ice cream you’ll find. They switch up their flavors often, but my favorite is the salted caramel.

6 p.m.: Family dinner and movie night at home

R+D Kitchen is always packed, so my sons, who are 31 and 33, do the cooking. They come over, and together we make salads and cook dinner. There’s a neighborhood grocery store called the Farms, off Montana, a small family-run place that has everything we need. Everyone knows each other there, and people bring their dogs. We try to have movie night every Sunday. Sometimes the day changes, but we always make sure to have one night a week where we cook a meal and sit down as a family. Keeping that tradition has become really important to us. My sons are great cooks, which is funny because they definitely didn’t get that from me. [Laughs]

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9 p.m.: Take Riley for one last walk and visit neighbors

After dinner, I take my dog for a walk. It’s a great way to meet neighbors. We always go around the same block. We’ve met so many people, and since she’s a golden retriever, she loves meeting everyone.

10 p.m.: News, knitting and bedtime

I am a news junkie, so I usually watch whatever is on the news before I go to bed. I have a long-standing passion for knitting. Lately, though, the news would make me drop a stitch.

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Iris van Herpen Reaches for the Stars

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For Iris van Herpen, couture is a laboratory as much as a runway. Our chief fashion critic, Vanessa Friedman, takes us inside this Dutch designer’s latest Paris show — from sci-fi-inspired gowns to an audacious attempt at a dress made of charged plasma.

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