Lifestyle
Fashion’s Historic Shake-Up
Pierpaolo Piccioli for
Balenciaga
Louise Trotter for
Bottega Veneta
Matthieu Blazy for
Chanel
Jonathan Anderson for
Dior
Duran Lantink for
Jean Paul Gaultier
Simone Bellotti for
Jil Sander
Jake Mccollough and Lazaro Hernandez for
Loewe
Glenn Martens for
Maison Margiela
Miguel Castro Freitas for
Mugler
This fall, a dozen of the biggest brands in fashion will have new talent at the helm. What makes them tick?
Welcome to the season of seismic fashion change. The tectonic plates of the industry are shifting, remaking the landscape in a way that hasn’t been seen since … well, ever. This year almost 20 fashion houses, including some of the most famous, influential names (Chanel, Dior, Gucci, Balenciaga), appointed new designers, meaning the clothes you see in stores or on the street, or when you’re immersed in the endless digital scroll, will soon be very different.
After all, each designer will be trying to make their mark, break through the noise and redefine the very idea of chic, not to mention the look of the decade. That’s the opportunity. Those are the stakes.
Yet for all the change taking place, the actual change makers seem, at least on the surface, very much the same.
Of the 13 designers whose work we will see this season, only one is a woman — Louise Trotter, at Bottega Veneta. A dozen are white men, and 10 are between the ages of 40 and 47. Ten are Europeans and three are Americans. Despite the clear need to bring imagination to the catwalk, there seems to be a general lack of imagination when it comes to deciding whom to hire.
To get below the very similar surface, we asked this season’s new guard a set of simple questions — not about their plans for their brands but about their taste: their personal likes and dislikes when it comes to the stuff that surrounds them and the choices they make.
Who are the men and woman who will shape how you dress for the foreseeable future? Read on.
Pierpaolo Piccioli for
Balenciaga
Mr. Piccioli, 57, comes to Balenciaga after 25 years at Valentino, 16 of them as creative director, where he was widely recognized for his bold use of color, his humanity (he regularly brought his entire couture atelier onto the runway for a bow) and his lack of grandiosity. (At Valentino he eschewed living in Rome to stay in the small seaside town where his family grew up.) Mr. Piccioli started his gig at Balenciaga by working alongside Demna, then its creative director, a rarity in fashion (two creative directors overlapping!) but one intended to create an easy transition for the team.
I feel best wearing: My uniform — black tee, black pants
The first thing I look at in another person’s outfit is: I look at the way they wear the outfit.
I skimp on when buying: I never skimp.
I splurge on: I always splurge.
I am never caught wearing: Cowboy boots
Item I will never give up: My coral pendants on red silk ribbons.
Louise Trotter for
Bottega Veneta
Ms. Trotter, 55, is the first woman to lead Bottega Veneta, the Italian fashion house known for its intrecciato woven handbags, in more than 20 years — and only the second since the house was founded in 1966. A Brit and the mother of three, she was also the first woman to become creative director of Lacoste, which she ran for five years before taking over Carven, a label she put back on the fashion map. Now she is bringing her bent for minimalist luxury and dry wit to Milan.
I feel best wearing: Men’s wear
I splurge on: Vintage watches and jewelry
I am never caught wearing: You can hold me to never wearing paisley.
Item I will never let go of: My grandmother’s wedding ring
Favorite piece of art: It would have to be a portrait. A Lucian Freud, a Franz Gertsch, a Celia Paul.
Favorite cologne: My husband’s
Favorite ice cream flavor: Vanilla! I have a test in a gelateria. If they can master vanilla, they can do anything.
Favorite pen: I use pencils much more. My current pencil is a Black Wing 602 from Japan.
Mr. Rider, 44, didn’t have a traditional fashion education — he went to Brown University — but an early stint at Balenciaga under Nicolas Ghesquière followed by 10 years at Celine under Phoebe Philo and six years as creative director of Polo Ralph Lauren prepared him for his new post. He brought Celine back to the official runway after Hedi Slimane, his immediate predecessor, decided he would be beholden to no schedule but his own, and even brought Anna Wintour back to the front row, Mr. Slimane having banned her from the house. It’s the new open-door policy.
I feel best wearing: Shorts
I am never caught wearing: Sunscreen
Item I will never give up: Dad’s ring
Favorite cologne: Don’t wear it
Favorite stationery: Don’t have any
Favorite ice cream flavor: Coffee
Favorite music for working out: Anything by Timbaland
Favorite flower for saying thank you: Wildflowers
Matthieu Blazy for
Chanel
Mr. Blazy, 41, snagged the most coveted job in fashion in December after a six-month search by Chanel. He will be only the fourth designer in Chanel’s history, tasked with transforming the brand for a new generation. Most recently he did exactly that for Bottega Veneta, with a fashion sleight of hand that made leather look like denim — and leather look like cotton, and leather look like flannel. Now, as he comes home to Paris, he is expected to work a similar alchemy on the pearls, camellias and CCs of the house that Coco built and Karl Lagerfeld redefined.
I feel best wearing: Nothing
I am never caught wearing: A printed T-shirt
Item I will never give up: The broken Bulova Accutron watch my father gave me
Favorite piece of art: “The Three Graces” by Lucas Cranach the Elder
Favorite cologne: Vetiver
Favorite ice cream flavor: Stracciatella
Favorite bed linen: Always white
Favorite music for working out: 1990s Euro dance
Jonathan Anderson for
Dior
Mr. Anderson, 40, made fashion history when he became the first Dior designer since Christian Dior himself to be in charge of both women’s and men’s wear for the house. (Moreover, Mr. Dior dabbled only in men’s pieces and never did a full collection, so in some ways Mr. Anderson is a pioneer.) An 11-year stint at Loewe, where he took the brand from largely irrelevant to one of the hottest names in fashion, with an estimated $2 billion in revenue, convinced LVMH, which owns Dior, that Mr. Anderson was the man to unite the two sides of the couture house. If that wasn’t a big enough gig, he’s still moonlighting as Luca Guadagnino’s costume designer.
I feel best wearing: Nothing
I skimp on when buying: Clothing
I splurge on: Art
I am never caught wearing: Florals
Item I will never let go of: A navy crew-neck sweater
Favorite piece of art: Paul Thek, “Untitled (Diver)”
Favorite cologne: Cheap body deodorant
Favorite stationery: Lined Paper
Favorite dinner party main course: Cottage pie
Favorite car: Land Rover Defender 90
Favorite music for working out: Mash-up of SoundCloud bad remixes
Eyebrows were raised when the mononymic Demna, 44, announced that after a decade, he was leaving Balenciaga, the fashion house he had taken from ivory tower elegance to pop culture phenomenon, to attempt a turnaround at Gucci. The Georgian-born designer, who will split his time between Los Angeles and Milan, now has to prove he can achieve the rare feat of reinventing himself and his (new) house, not merely repeat himself. Fans like Kim Kardashian, Nicole Kidman and Michelle Yeoh will be watching.
I feel best wearing: My own clothes.
The first thing I look at in another person’s outfit is: Colors
I skimp on when buying: I don’t skimp on much.
Item I will never let go of: My wedding ring.
Favorite ice cream flavor: Vanilla
Favorite cologne: Gucci Envy
Favorite dinner party main course: No idea
Favorite cocktail to order at a bar: Manhattan
Favorite shampoo: Head & Shoulders
Favorite music for working out: I listen to political podcasts when I work out.
Duran Lantink for
Jean Paul Gaultier
Mr. Lantink, 38, founded his namesake label in 2019, a year after Janelle Monáe wore his “vagina” pants in her “Pynk” music video. The Dutch designer won the Andam Special Prize in 2023 and LVMH’s Karl Lagerfeld Special Jury Prize in 2024, but it was a stunt during his fall 2025 ready-to-wear show — putting a topless man in a prosthetic female torso and vice versa — that made him internet famous. He shares a glee in thumbing his nose at propriety with the Gaultier founder, not to mention a facility for using fabric to reshape the body.
I feel best wearing: White
The first thing I look at in another person’s outfit is: Shoes
I skimp on when buying: Clothes
I splurge on: Books
I am never caught wearing: Latex
Item I will never give up: A 1990s White & Lethal trash shirt by Walter Van Beirendonck that I have since the age of 12
Favorite piece of art: “Fountain” by Marcel Duchamp
Favorite cologne: Brutus by Orto Parisi
Favorite car: Bike
Favorite music for working out: I play tennis, so no music
Simone Bellotti for
Jil Sander
No one ever thought the Swiss label Bally would be a must-see of Milan Fashion Week, but that’s what happened after Mr. Bellotti, 47, took over in 2022 after 16 years behind the scenes at Gucci. At Bally, his penchant for accessorizing rigorous tailoring with strawberries and cowbells demanded that everyone look twice and should serve him well at Jil Sander, where he takes over from Luke and Lucie Meier.
I feel best wearing: Denim and a blue wool sweater
The first thing I look at in another person’s outfit is: The face and shoes
I am never caught wearing: Skinny pants
Favorite piece of art: “Study after Velázquez’s Portrait of Pope Innocent X” by Francis Bacon
Favorite pen: An old Parker Ciselè in silver from my father
Flowers for saying thank you: For everything, buttercups
Favorite music for working out: Always music, but not for workout
Jack Mccollough and Lazaro Hernandez for
Loewe
Mr. McCollough and Mr. Hernandez, both 47, became the latest Americans in Paris when they were handed the reins of Loewe earlier this year. As part of the deal, they stepped down from Proenza Schouler, the New York label they founded in 2002 (just after graduating from Parsons School of Design) and upped stakes for France, the better to concentrate on Loewe, where they are following in the (large) footsteps of Jonathan Anderson.
I feel best wearing: J: My old clothes. L: New clothes.
The first thing I look at in another person’s outfit is: J/L: Shoes.
I am never caught wearing: J: Jewelry. L: Flip-flops.
Item I will never give up: L: A small gold chain my mother gave me as a kid that I never take off. J: Our farmhouse in Massachusetts.
Favorite cocktail to order at a bar: J/L: Martini.
Favorite pen: J/L: Pentel mechanical pencil 0.5.
Favorite car: J: Vintage Land Rover Defender. L: Vintage Toyota Land Cruiser.
Glenn Martens for
Maison Margiela
Like Martin Margiela, Glenn Martens, 42, is Belgian. Like Martin Margiela, he went to the Royal Academy of Fine Arts in Antwerp. (Mr. Martens graduated first in his class.) Like Mr. Margiela, he has a propensity for experimentalism and challenging classical ideas of beauty. Moreover, he is not just taking over the house that Mr. Margiela built, he is following in the footsteps of John Galliano, the most recent creative director, and doing double duty at Diesel, which he also designs.
I feel best wearing: Black T-shirt and black denim
The first thing I look at in another person’s outfit is: Shoes
I skimp on when buying: I buy my deodorant at the supermarket.
I splurge on: Food and drink
I am never caught wearing: Socklets
Item I will never give up: My jewelry: a ring that was my mothers that she wore her whole life, even when she gave birth to my brother and me; another ring that was my dad’s engagement ring, which he received from my mother; and necklaces and trinkets from friends and past lovers. I never take any of them off.
Favorite shampoo: Whatever stops balding
Favorite ice cream flavor: Cookie Dough
Miguel Castro Freitas for
Mugler
Mr. Castro Freitas, 45, was catapulted from unknown to must-know overnight when he was chosen to succeed Casey Cadwallader at Mugler, the house that big shoulders, bigger spectacles and a perfume called Angel built. Still, the Portuguese designer and Central Saint Martins grad has Dior (under John Galliano), Saint Laurent and Dries Van Noten on his résumé.
I feel best wearing: Shorts
The first thing I look at in another person’s outfit is: Shoes
I am never caught wearing: Red
Item I will never let go of: A black T-shirt
Favorite dinner party main course: Roasted chicken and fingerling potatoes, with lots of garlic, onions and herbs.
Favorite music for working out: Disco or house music
Favorite flowers for saying thank you: A combination of different seasonal flowers, specially if chosen from Debeaulieu, my favorite flower boutique in Paris.
Favorite joke: Current politics
The first Versace creative director who is not actually a Versace, Mr. Vitale, 41, comes to the fashion house after 15 years at Miu Miu, most recently as design director under Miuccia Prada during its period of explosive growth. His experience working with Mrs. P should stand him in good stead at Versace, since the Prada Group acquired the brand with the Medusa logo earlier this year.
I feel best wearing: It’s not that I feel best wearing them, but it takes only one garment to feel dressed, like a pair of socks or maybe a few rings and an earring.
I skimp on: Most things
I splurge on: Gestures. The memory of the response outlasts any object. Admittedly, I spend most money on flowers, especially strong smelling ones like lily of the valley or helichrysum italicum.
I am never caught wearing: A watch
Favorite cologne: I don’t really wear it. I prefer to scent the things around me — bedsheets, underwear, napkins — so I end up creating a kind of personal fragrance from the mix of everything in my space.
Favorite piece of art: A statue at Museo Archeologico Nazionale di Napoli, the Farnese Hercules, which I’m reluctant to even think of as art. The beauty is that it’s just there, like a God among men. It’s Hercules but a little relaxed with a quiet melancholy about him.
Favorite pen: Black Papermate Flair, medium, for both sketching and writing.
Favorite cocktail to order at a bar: I used to work at a bar in Brera called Jamaica — no frills, just a good old-fashioned bar, so I appreciate the simplicity of a vodka soda. Whichever vodka, whichever soda water, it’s impossible to mess up.
Favorite flowers for saying thank you: In the last few weeks I’ve been sending chamomile flowers. There’s nothing grand about chamomile, so it feels like a very honest gesture — quite naked and vulnerable, actually, but that makes it an earnest way to say “Sincerely, thank you.”
Lifestyle
The Family Branding of Sean Duffy’s Road Trip Reality Show
That spot did not go over well with many fliers, who voiced their disagreement on social media (it’s unclear that getting gussied up would solve the upset caused by delayed flights, increasingly tiny seats and other flying indignities). But it was merely a warm-up for the longer show, which has its debut next month on YouTube. This one features Duffy in a whole variety of dad outfits straight from the “Father Knows Best” closet of the American mind, with his family as supporting characters, down to their matching PJs.
There he is in the Oval Office, introducing his kids (and the show’s concept) to President Trump as white-collar dad in a Trumpian outfit of blue suit, white shirt and red-and-blue tie. There he is in snowy Montana, leading his gang on snowmobiles in coordinated snowsuits. In Philadelphia, he’s in a polo shirt and jeans, introducing his children to a role-playing Benjamin Franklin. He hangs out in a plaid shirt with Kid Rock, a scene that also features Duffy’s wife, Rachel Campos-Duffy, a Fox anchor, in an American flag sweater and matching American flag cowboy boots. (The two met on the reality show “Road Rules: All Stars.”) He wears a lot of shackets. And that’s just in the show’s four-minute promo.
In other words, this does not seem to be in the mode of the storied road trips of American pop-culture mythology, be they the grungy road trip of Peter Fonda and Jack Nicholson in “Easy Rider” or the existential one of Chloé Zhao’s Oscar winner “Nomadland.” It does not even seem to be modeled on the gaffe-filled comic road trip of the Griswold clan in “National Lampoon’s Vacation.”
It’s more like “Road Trip: The Suburban Nostalgia Version.” (See the cars, which include throwback station wagons redolent of “Leave It to Beaver” and a big, black Toyota SUV with Duffy, of course, in the driver’s seat.) It was conceived, presumably, to evoke the values — “wholesome,” “patriotic,” “joyful” — enumerated by Duffy in his post on X and meant to define the show and, by association, himself.
As such, it effectively brands him as the Everydad of the administration, complete with ur-weekend wardrobe. And when it finally airs next month, it may turn out to be less about actual reality (reality TV rarely is) than about heavily messaged reality. In other words: marketing for history.
Lifestyle
‘Harry Potter’ soars under the Cosm spell with fantastical, theme-park-like effects
A pivotal moment early in “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” arrives when Harry’s suburban house is swarmed and flooded with letters of acceptance for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Harry’s aunt and uncle have been preventing such dispatches from reaching the young wizard-to-be, but the boarding school’s messenger owls are having none of it.
Letters flood in from the fireplace, windows and nearly seem to cause the house to burst. And while watching the film recently at Inglewood’s Cosm, home to an all-encompassing high-definition spherical screen, I half expected a letter to fall upon my lap. Cosm specializes in sports, but has released three collaborations with Warner Bros. for what it deems “experiential film.” A framed screen displaying the original 2001 work from director Chris Columbus is untouched, but surrounding it are newly added digital animations designed to envelop guests.
And in this early “Sorcerer’s Stone” scene, letters were a-flying any which way I looked. Up, down, left and right — mail missives were rocketing toward the center screen. As the world closed in on Daniel Radcliffe’s Potter and family, it did so, too, at Cosm. I’ve seen Cosm’s take on “The Matrix” and “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory,” so I knew a letter wouldn’t come zapping my way, but one could be forgiven for protecting their cocktail — themed, of course — from being knocked over.
The famed “sorting hat” scene at Cosm’s interpretation of “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.”
(Stefan Silvers / Cosm)
Such is the power of Cosm’s curved screen, which brings a sense of dimension, and even at times movement, to the film. Think of Cosm, perhaps, as a mini version of Las Vegas’ Sphere, but smaller doesn’t mean any less sweeping. No, “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” in Cosm’s hands is often quite grand, as the first glimpse of Hogwarts Castle inspired cheers from the opening night audience, its cliffside towers, a romanticized spin on medieval architecture, towering above us in such a way that we will crane our necks. Only in Universal’s theme parks does the palace seem more real and welcoming.
“Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” arrives at Cosm during what is a big year for the franchise. It’s the 25th anniversary, of course, of the first film in the series, and later this year on Christmas Day a new television series based on author J.K. Rowling’s popular book series is set to premiere on HBO Max. This summer, Harry Potter: A Hogwarts Express Adventure will open at the Southern California Railway Museum for guests to experience the Wizarding World rite of passage aboard a real moving train in the Inland Empire.
All of this activity is happening as Rowling has become the center of heated debate for her controversial views on trans women. None of it, however, has seemed to curtail fan interest in the series. The 2023 video game “Hogwarts Legacy” became a massive hit despite calls for a boycott, and Universal Studios last year opened in Florida a brand new theme park land based upon the franchise at its Epic Universe park, with its centerpiece ride, Harry Potter and the Battle at the Ministry, often commanding some of the longest waits at the park.
At the film’s early May premiere at Cosm, Rowling was mentioned little, and wasn’t among the massive list of names being thanked by studio and Cosm execs. “Harry Potter” in 2026 is perhaps best viewed as a franchise that has outgrown its creator to take on a life of its own, and Cosm’s approach is that of a love letter to its many fans, recognizing that this is a magical, enchanting world that generations have long wished to find themselves immersed in.
A climatic scene in “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” is outfitted with additional effects at Cosm.
(Stefan Silvers / Cosm)
To that end, I’d rank “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” as the most successful of Cosm’s three cinematic interpretations. Certainly the subject matter plays a role, and while Cosm has been successful in matching the high-energy of “The Matrix” or the trippiness of “Willy Wonka,” here Cosm and its partners — experiential firm Little Cinema and effects house MakeMake — can simply luxuriate in atmosphere. The train to Hogwarts, for instance, is especially well done, seemingly stretched to infinity. The famed “sorting hat” scene, too, as Cosm’s wizards contrast the internal anxiety of being assigned a role with the external one of doing so in front of an audience, bringing to exaggerated life the cavernous Hogwarts assembly hall.
‘Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone’
Cosm works best when it’s able to use its venue to create the illusion of no longer being a spectator, when the space itself starts to feel like a living theater. Feel this, for instance, when Harry and pals traverse the moving staircase. The frame of the screen may move, creating a slight sense of disorientation as the stairs themselves shift. The portraits on the wall, whose characters occasionally come alive, start to envelop us. Cosm used some restraint here, keeping us guessing as to which framed pictures may seek to speak or nod our way.
If there’s any qualm in Cosm’s work it’s that at times there could be a tinge more self-control in order to let the film do its work. Stepping into the hidden magic nook of London’s Diagon Alley is a showcase moment in Columbus’ film, and at times it is in Cosm’s interpretation as well. Out on the street, the shops circle around us, further conveying the cramped nature of the neighborhood. It feels, more than ever, like a real-life space. Inside an intimate pub, however, filling out the scene with empty tables could distract from the hurried, nervous nature of the filmmaker’s original intent.
But we live in an immersive age. Art, increasingly, is maximized to encompass us, and Cosm understands this moment well. Once again, the venue has made the argument that cinema can feel like communal, live entertainment.
Lifestyle
As a Sober Person, How Should I Serve Alcohol to Friends at Dinner Parties?
I have been sober for one year after many decades of heavy drinking. By now, I am somewhat comfortable being around others when they drink. I also enjoy entertaining friends in my apartment, but I no longer maintain a well-stocked bar, nor do I wish to. So, what should I do about dinner parties? I want to be a gracious host, but I don’t want to offer a full range of alcoholic beverages to my guests. Should I ask them in advance what they want to drink and stock it? (That seems a bit intense.) Should I buy a bottle each of red and white wine and hope that suffices? (That seems stingy.) Or should I tell my guests that dinner is a “bring your own bottle” occasion? (That seems ungenerous.) Help!
SOBER
First, let me commend you on your sobriety. Making meaningful and positive change after decades of habitual behavior is a big achievement. Well done! So, making note of your phrase (you write that you are “somewhat comfortable” being around drinking), and keeping the relative stakes in mind — protecting your sobriety versus giving a dinner party — I suggest that you hold off serving booze for now. Your sobriety is still relatively new, and it is more important to safeguard it than it is to serve alcohol to friends.
You don’t mention whether you attend a support group for people in recovery. But dropping into a meeting to speak with others who have lived through experiences similar to yours would probably be helpful. They can’t make this decision for you, but hearing their suggestions may help you make a better decision for yourself. I have watched friends in recovery struggle with alcohol that is left over at the end of the evening — as well as with the temptation to join guests in drinking during dinner.
I also suggest that you rethink what makes a good host. For many decades, that probably entailed serving alcohol to your guests. But really, the act of welcoming friends into your home for a meal — and perhaps a nonalcoholic beer or cocktail — is more than enough. No one needs to drink at every meal, and your friends don’t need you to serve them alcohol to feel valued by you.
One Scheduling Conflict and Knocked Off the Altar
My best friend of 25 years removed me from her bridal party because I cannot attend the rehearsal dinner the evening before the wedding. I have an important hearing in court on Friday afternoon that cannot be moved in the absence of a true emergency. It will prevent me from making it to the rehearsal dinner. What hurts me most is that there was no conversation or attempt to problem solve. My friend simply informed me that because I would miss the dinner, I was no longer a bridesmaid. I was shocked! Should I let this go? It’s her wedding. Should I even go to the wedding? I feel disrespected.
EX-BRIDESMAID
I agree that your friend’s decision seems harsh, and I certainly understand your hurt feelings. But many of us — myself included — are sometimes unable to meet moments of stress with grace and reason. This seems to be the case with your friend, who is overreacting to a situation beyond your control.
Still, I hope you know that you have done nothing wrong here and that your friend is probably hurting herself more than anyone else by removing her best friend of 25 years from her wedding party. Try to let this go — for now. Go to the wedding and celebrate your friend. Life is long: You will have plenty of time to circle back to her to discuss her decision later, when she is better able to be reasonable.
The Inalienable Right Not to Smile
I have a toddler son. He is a happy boy, but he has a distinctly serious facial expression when he is in new settings or around new people. Strangers often feel the need to approach me to comment on it: “Why so serious?” or “That’s quite a face!” I’ve let it go up to now, but I don’t want these comments to affect my son’s idea of himself. Is there a cute response that might encourage people to back off?
MOM
Unless you believe that making a snappy comment to one person will somehow reduce the likelihood of another person commenting — which I don’t — I would focus on what your son hears. Say: “He’s an amazing boy! Playful when he’s comfortable and thoughtful when he’s encountering something new. Thanks for noticing!” Then move along. These people probably don’t mean to upset you, and there’s little upside for you or your son in critiquing their comments.
Must a Page-Turner Have Pages?
If you listen to an audiobook, can you say that you read the book? Or should you be more accurate and say that you listened to it?
READER
For traditionalists, reading is a purely visual activity — not an auditory one. And in the early days of Books on Tape, I confess that I thought of listening to books as cheating. But recent studies show that listeners engage with written material just as rigorously as those who read it on the page, and their comprehension is just as high. So, I don’t believe the distinction matters. Do you?
For help with your awkward situation, send a question to SocialQ@nytimes.com, Philip Galanes on Facebook or @SocialQPhilip on X.
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