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Dating habits are changing — again. Here are 3 trends and tips for navigating them

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Dating habits are changing — again. Here are 3 trends and tips for navigating them

While the ways to connect are evolving, two dating coaches say the goal is still to get off the chats and actually go on dates.

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While the ways to connect are evolving, two dating coaches say the goal is still to get off the chats and actually go on dates.

Thomas Lohnes/Getty Images

Technology, burnout and generational differences are creating new habits in the dating scene and bringing back old ones.

We spoke to two dating coaches about what trends they are seeing and how to have a good time when exploring your love life — whether you are new to the dating scene, coming back in or simply wanting to step up your game.

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1. Speed dating is coming back

The mechanics of speed dating haven’t really changed: You spend four to five minutes with a stranger and then move on to the next. Typically, you write down whether you’d like to see them again, and you find out later if they felt the same way about you. If so, you can set up a date.

What’s changing is the renewed interest.

Damona Hoffman, a dating coach and the author of F the Fairy Tale: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story, has seen more interest in speed dating — both among her clients and through live-event offerings. The ticketing website Eventbrite, for example, reported a 63% increase in those events in the first few months of 2023, compared with those same months in 2022.

For newcomers, Hoffman recommends focusing on whether potential matches pique your curiosity.

“The curiosity can be based on something that they say, can be based on also how they look or something they’re wearing. Something, you know, that happened even outside of your five minutes of speed dating,” she says.

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She adds that speed dating is similar to the dating apps in that both are simply a venue to meet new people. So, don’t fret too much about it.

“You only have five minutes, so you can’t make too much of it. I’m always telling my clients to give somebody the benefit of the doubt. If there’s something interesting there, then explore that, and take a little more time with it down the road,” she says.

2. AI has entered the chat

Chats and tools powered by artificial intelligence have entered many aspects of our lives, and dating is no different.

The 2023 “Singles in America” study by Match.com found that 6% of singles had turned to AI for help with their dating life. Of those, 43% used it to craft their profile, and 37% used it to write the first message to their match. Those who had used AI reported getting more and better matches and meeting in real life faster.

This is, perhaps unsurprisingly, a trend more common among Generation Z. Men also reported using AI slightly more than women, and only 22% of all respondents said they would consider it a deal-breaker if someone used AI to craft a dating profile.

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“There is a way to use an AI to help people show their best selves,” says Maria Avgitidis, the CEO of Agape Matchmaking and host of the Ask a Matchmaker podcast.

She says some AI tools can help you write answers to the prompts in dating apps or pick the best-looking photos for your profile. But they shouldn’t be used to alter your images.

“There’s a way to do this, and I know because we do it. We have online dating managers at Agape Matchmaking who literally do this, and it’s not AI. It’s human intelligence, but it’s just as well,” she says.

To those who might think that all of this is inauthentic, Hoffman says our online conversations aren’t genuine most of the time, anyway.

“A lot of times, people will tell me that they were texting with someone and it was a great, witty, fun banter, and then they get to the date and it was boring or they didn’t seem the same,” she says.

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3. “Living apart together” is getting attention

Beyond dating, the concept of living apart together — where couples break out of the typical path of moving in together and then marrying — is being talked about more.

Hoffman says the term started making rounds online after a 2021 New York Times article, although she had seen it in her own practice, mainly among people over 55 years old who started dating after building a life for themselves — they perhaps have a job, a home or children.

While living apart together appeared to start with older daters, it’s catching on with younger people too.

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While living apart together appeared to start with older daters, it’s catching on with younger people too.

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“Dating means compromising that life and bringing somebody else into it, and for some daters, it’s just not that appealing,” she says. “If everything else in your life is already working and you could have a relationship and not be living in the same space and having to compromise the things that are already working, you can have your cake and eat it too.”

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Now she sees this concept picking up among younger people who want to maintain their autonomy and individuality while in a relationship.

Hoffman says that when exploring this option, communication is key.

“I am all about empowering daters to know that they can design their own dating life, but it’s all about communication … first getting clarity on what you actually want and then being able to communicate that to your partner and knowing also that that could change,” she says.

There might come a time when you change your mind and want to move in with that person, and that’s OK too, she says.

Getting outside is the important step

Hoffman and Avgitidis agree that online dating can be a great way to meet new people, but the goal is to get off the chats and actually go on dates.

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“I look at all elements of dating as a set of learned skills,” Hoffman says. “So when you aren’t practicing them, when you aren’t flexing that muscle, it does atrophy a little bit.”

There are signs that people are doing more of that lately and trying to meet people in more social environments. Avgitidis points to data from Eventbrite, which says it saw attendance at singles and dating events increase by 42% from 2022 to 2023.

For better success at these types of events, Avgitidis recommends two things. One is to put on your “you can approach me” uniform.

“I always tell people, wear green if you’re a woman; wear light pink or light purple if you’re a man. Color does matter when it comes to giving off a vibe like, ‘Hey, you can come talk to me,’” she says. “These are colors that I have noticed as a matchmaker and a dating industry professional that really will attract people to come talk to you, regardless of sexual orientation.”

The second one is to not get stuck on what the outcome may be.

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“You have to come into the mindset [that] every single person is an opportunity. So with that said, if you are goal oriented, then I would tell you that whenever you go to an event, I want you to talk to two people that you have never talked to before. That’s it. It doesn’t matter what gender they are. It doesn’t matter what orientation they are,” Avgitidis says.

Try talking to those new people, and if after 15 minutes or so you feel uncomfortable, then you can leave.

So to bring it all together: Give people a chance to surprise you, focus on getting to the first date and find what works for your relationship.

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We’re having a main character summer. Are you? : It’s Been a Minute

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We’re having a main character summer. Are you? : It’s Been a Minute
Are you ready for a whirlwind summer romance?Making plans to capitalize on summer can get overwhelming – from finding the right spot to hang or feeling comfortable in your clothes in the sweltering summer heat. So what does it mean to approach summer with a romantic joie de vivre?  Brittany is joined by Carly Olson, freelance journalist covering architecture and business, and Garrett Schlichte, writer and chef, to walk us through how to have a rom-com summer where you’re the star.Want more on how to be the best version of yourself? Check out these episodes:How to make friends & get good gossipIt only takes 30 minutes to be a good momSupport Public Media. Join NPR Plus.Follow Brittany on Instagram: @bmluseFor handpicked podcast recommendations every week, subscribe to NPR’s Pod Club newsletter at npr.org/podclub.
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Vintage-obsessed millennial parents are driving L.A.’s booming kids’ clothing resale market

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Vintage-obsessed millennial parents are driving L.A.’s booming kids’ clothing resale market

Kids’ vintage clothing sales are experiencing a remarkable boom at in-person markets and online, where prices for clothes for little ones have shot up on websites including Depop and Poshmark. Millennial parents are looking to outfit their kids in the clothes and TV and film characters they loved (or coveted) when they were kids.

The result? There’s a new generation of kiddos hitting the playground looking incredibly cool. Take Amari Case, a SoCal toddler who spent a Sunday afternoon this spring ambling around a vintage market in a West Hollywood warehouse clad in baggy jeans and a ’90s-era tee emblazoned with the “Dragon Ball Z” character Son Goku.

When she wasn’t scribbling on a Lorax coloring sheet, she’d been cruising around the market with her dad, Aaron Munoz Case, snapping up new pieces destined to make her the flyest kid at the preschool playground.

Neil Wright, from left, Kristine Nite Scalzo and Brandon Rosenblatt, co-founders of Elemeno Kids Vintage Market.

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Showing off Amari’s new vintage satin L.A. Raiders jacket and tiny teal Grant Hill Detroit Pistons jersey, Munoz Case, who was also impeccably dressed, noted that while Amari went through a phase at about 18 months where she wanted to dress herself, eventually she gave up and went back to letting her dripped-out dad dictate her wardrobe.

Munoz Case found Amari’s first vintage piece at the Rose Bowl Flea Market and got the bug, going back every month to pick up something to add to his little’s wardrobe.

Trendspotters and researchers say Munoz Case isn’t alone in his quest. The market for kids’ vintage clothing has heated up precipitously over the last few years, perhaps hitting a boiling point in January when an Eeyore romper from the ’90s sold for over $3,000 on EBay. (It was new with tags, but one without tags still went for almost a grand about a month later.)

The thirst for tiny throwbacks is so popular that first-ever, all-kids market Elemeno — named after the “L-M-N-O” bit of “The Alphabet Song” and where Amari was toddling and shopping — drew 17 vendors and over 2,000 attendees over a single weekend in March. (There are plans for another Elemeno Kids Vintage Market pop-up later this year in New York, as well as plans to bring the event back to L.A. sometime next year.)

1

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A child and mom seated.

2 A child wearing an Avirex jacket from the ’90s.

1. Cameron Scalzo, wearing a vintage McDonald’s T-shirt from the ‘90s, and mom Kristine Nite Scalzo. 2. Cameron Scalzo rocks an Avirex jacket from the ‘90s.

Eye Speak Vintage’s Kristine Nite Scalzo, who co-organized the event and is opening an all-kids vintage store in Pasadena this month, says she fell under the kids vintage spell in 2020 when she was pregnant with her son. She’d always been a vintage shopper for herself, so she knew she wanted to pass the passion down to the next generation. She started filling up her son’s closet, and soon enough, she found herself selling her other finds out of a bodega in her garage.

She has a by-appointment space in Pasadena now, where she draws everyone from Rihanna’s stylist to out-of-town moms who make a point to stop by on their way to Disneyland. “The community around kids vintage has really skyrocketed on Instagram over the past six years,” Scalzo says. “We want to know who we’re buying from. We want to know that we’re doing good with buying secondhand. And it’s a hobby for people that can turn into a possible business on the side. Because knowing there’s a big group that’s interested in vintage kids clothes, you can always pass an item [your kid outgrows] to someone else or resell it.”

Scalzo says some parents are out digging through bins at the Goodwill Outlet looking for the perfect piece, while others are content to pay up for, say, a ’90s Simpsons T-shirt or a mini-size Harley-Davidson jacket. Scouring the racks at the Elemeno market, most pieces cost $15 to $40, though there were special pieces pulled to the side in some booths with price tags that could make a parent’s eyes pop. (Think $275 for a set of well-worn Spider-Man overalls from the ’00s or $150 for a pair of Cross Colours denim shorts from the ’90s.)

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In kids and adult vintage alike, mint condition is highly valued. No matter the era in which they were raised, kids tend to be messy. They get strawberry juice on their shirts or scuff up the knees on their Bugle Boy jeans. Vintage kids clothes that look pristine are more expensive, and while plain kids clothes do sell, items with characters on them or cool prints tend to draw more attention and dollars.

Brandon Rosenblatt, another of the Elemeno organizers, says he’s had his eye on a specific kids “Back to the Future” shirt for some time, but notes that it typically sells for about $1,000. He’s partial to McKids clothes for his daughter, from McDonald’s short-lived kids clothing brand, noting that he’s even snagged her a vintage official McDonald’s-themed aloha shirt from Hawaii, something he says he’s never seen anywhere else.

1 Siblings Amora and Milo Castilo wear vintage cowboy hats, jackets and chaps.

2 Thalia Castilo and her kids Amora and Milo.

1. Siblings Amora and Milo Castilo wear vintage cowboy hats, jackets and chaps. 2. Thalia Castilo and her kids Amora and Milo.

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Other collectors, he says, might be a little less obscure, leaning into mainstream characters such as Strawberry Shortcake or from ’80s and ’90s properties including “The Land Before Time” and “Rugrats.”

“A lot of millennials are having kids — like everyone who’s in their 30s and 40s — and they all want to put their kids in the same IP they grew up in,” Rosenblatt says.

“It’s the thrill of the hunt that gets everyone so excited,” Scalzo says. “Once you find that perfect nostalgic piece, you’re like ‘Holy s—,’ and you just want to chase that feeling again and again.”

Mia De La Rosa, a reseller who was at the Elemeno market, says that like Scalzo, she started buying kids vintage clothes when she was pregnant with her daughter, Liv, who’s 6 now, very into everything on PBS Kids and has a closet full of thrifted vintage garb covered in characters such as D.W., the annoying little sister from the ’90s show “Arthur.”

Everything Liv wears is “completely her style,” De La Rosa says. “She dresses herself every day and she gets compliments on what she’s wearing at school all the time.”

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Other vintage-wearing kids — and in particular younger ones — might simply be sporting what their parents like or might just like the look of the shirt even if they don’t know what it’s advertising. (An 8-year-old boy at the Elemeno market, for instance, chose to wear a pristine T-shirt highlighting the ’90s Jim Carrey movie “The Mask” because it featured his favorite color: green.)

Derrick Broaster, a vintage enthusiast turned full-time reseller, says that while he chooses to put himself in clothes from the ’60s and ’70s, he outfits his two sons in clothes from the 2000s. (“How Bow Wow used to dress when he was a kid,” he says.)

Although his younger son tends to rebel against Broaster’s vintage picks, opting for whatever Spider-Man shoes happen to be in his eyeline, his older son has leaned in, letting his dad advise him on what vintage pieces could work and what would be the most stylish.

1 Brothers pose for a portrait wearing vintage clothing.

2 A family poses for a portrait wearing vintage clothing.

1. Julian, left, and Javier Gutierrez show off their vintage clothing. Javier says his mom always tells him to keep his vintage outfits clean. 2. Mom Priscilla Guzman, clockwise, Dad Javier Gutierrez and sons Julian and Javier Gutierrez enjoy the vibe of vintage clothing. Guzman says she’s been buying and selling kids’ vintage since her oldest son was born eight years ago.

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Rosenblatt says a good portion of what vintage finds he sees in the market now has returned to the U.S. from places in Central America and South America or Asia where those pieces were likely sent decades ago after they were donated or given away.

“There’s a real underbelly of this vintage game with rag houses getting access to bulk product overseas and letting people sort through it,” he says. “There are companies now that rip through 20, 30 or 40,000 pieces of vintage clothing a week. It’s a really interesting ecosystem.”

For many kids vintage sellers, finding their stock is just as fun and interesting as getting it back into consumers’ hands. “Anywhere we can find clothes, we’re there,” says Matthew Carlos, owner of Long Gone Youth. He started selling vintage clothes 11 years ago, when he was 15, switched to kids vintage at 20 and has spent the last six years scouring flea markets, websites and swap meets.

“The kids market is definitely growing,” he says, “but I still feel like we haven’t even gotten close to where we can go. It’s just getting popular now, but the more events [like Elemeno] we can do, the more it’ll go mainstream.” Even now, some major brands like Gap and OshKosh B’gosh have recognized the interest in some of their styles from the ’80s and ’90s, moving to re-release the looks in limited runs.

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Jackie and Frank Oropeza with daughter Rumi Mae shop at Elemeno Kids Vintage Market.

Jackie and Frank Oropeza with daughter Rumi Mae shop at Elemeno Kids Vintage Market.

Kids resale is also leaning into streetwear culture. Rosenblatt, who worked in the streetwear industry, says that he’s noticed that a good portion of those interested in kids vintage — particularly, male shoppers — tend to be fans of streetwear brands like Supreme, Fear of God Essentials and Bape. At Elemeno, for instance, a good portion of the parents we saw pushing strollers were well-dressed dads seemingly on solo missions, something you don’t always see at kid-centric events.

“I just want my son to feel like I did as a kid,” said Justin Nguyen, while watching his toddler, Jayden, play with bubbles. “I want him to be happy, carefree and joyful, and I want to be able to spend time with him. My mom and dad were always working, even on the weekends. Now that I’m a dad, taking my son out on weekends to do stuff like this just seems like a blessing.”

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‘Hellions’ author Julia Elliott wins $150K fiction prize

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‘Hellions’ author Julia Elliott wins 0K fiction prize

Author Julia Elliott won for her short story collection Hellions.

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Writer Julia Elliott has won this year’s Carol Shields Prize for Fiction for her short story collection Hellions. The award honors work by women and nonbinary authors in the U.S. and Canada.

Elliott, who also authored the novel The New and Improved Romie Futch and the short story collection The Wilds, is known for blending elements of Southern gothic horror, surrealism and fairy tale. Hellions, published in 2025, includes stories set against backdrops like a plague-stricken medieval convent, a feminist art colony, and small Southern towns.

“This eerie, eclectic, genre-leaping collection takes no half-measures; every sentence of Hellions crackles or crawls,” wrote the prize jury in a statement. “Here, human folly moves against a backdrop of horror and magic … But for all its wildness, there is tremendous control.”

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The prize, named after a Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist, awards $150,000 to one winner each year. Novels, short story collections, and graphic novels by women and nonbinary authors are eligible.

This year’s finalists included Quiara Alegría Hudes (The White Hot), Lee Lai (Cannon), Megha Majumdar (A Guardian and a Thief), and Sonya Walger (Lion). They will each receive $12,500.

The Carol Shields Prize went to writer Canisia Lubrin in 2025.

You can listen to actor Donna Lynne Champlin read Elliott’s story “Hellion” on the Death, Sex & Money podcast here.

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