Lifestyle
Are you truly infatuated with your co-worker, or do you just see them 40 hours a week?
Does having an affair with a married co-worker (who is in a loveless marriage, and whose wife is having an affair too, but they’re staying together for their child) make me, morally, a bad person?
That depends on what you believe a “bad” person to be. If your married co-worker and their spouse have both communicated and acknowledged the refined terms of their relationship to each other — that their romantic relationship is over, and that they are both free to pursue connections outside of their marriage while continuing their domestic partnership and performing whatever outer auspices of their relationship to ensure their child has a stable home until they come of age — then your co-worker and their spouse are essentially in an open relationship that prioritizes co-parenting. But the nature of this agreement, and the consequences of actions stemming from it, all depends on whether this agreement is mutually consensual and clear.
The word “morally” carries a weight with different subjective meanings. Generally it refers to undertaking an action in accordance with certain principles or values decided by an individual. So in that sense, what is “moral” in this situation can take on a variety of forms, depending on which definition of what is “right” is prioritized in your own mind.
Oftentimes we decide what is “wrong” for us based on how a certain idea or action makes us feel. That feeling can present in many ways — rumination, a knot in your throat or your chest, an unease in your stomach, the tensing of muscles. The fact that you’re asking this question tells me that something about this situation is likely making you feel a certain way. I invite you to explore what shape that feeling takes, not just in your mind, but in your body.
Instead of obsessively over-rationalizing or avoiding, try making friends with that feeling. If it’s uncomfortable or unsustainable to live with continuously, ask your body why — and how it can help you make decisions that are the kindest possible to your nervous system.
I would encourage you to get more clarity from your co-worker on the terms of their marriage, and exactly how open and honest they and their wife have been with each other. Have they both acknowledged to each other that they are seeing other people? If so, does their agreement have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” clause, or is your co-worker being asked to give details on the who, when, or how?
If one party isn’t as aware of what’s going on as the other party, this isn’t an objectively “right” or “wrong” vignette, per se. But it does mean that your new partner may come with some baggage, and perhaps with some growth opportunities in the area of communication. Ethical open relationships (ethical meaning different from morality, meaning more about a general societal consensus around what’s most evolved versus an individual’s codes for behavior) take a lot of maturity, humility, honesty and willingness to constantly grow. Taking on a partner in an open marriage, especially if a child and mutual source of income are involved, will likely present a certain requirement of effort for your heart and mind. And I would contend that even if you’ve already set a mental boundary that this relationship will be short-term or temporary, or purely sexual, chances are you’ll still have to undertake a degree of risk tolerance and emotional navigation through it, given the unique circumstances of the situation. Are you comfortable taking that on? Only you can answer this question for yourself.
Oftentimes we decide what is “wrong” for us based on how a certain idea or action makes us feel. That feeling can present in many ways — rumination, a knot in your throat or your chest, an unease in your stomach, the tensing of muscles. … I invite you to explore what shape that feeling takes, not just in your mind, but in your body.
Goth Shakira wears a Miss Claire Sullivan corset and skirt, Shushu/Tong shoes, Blumarine earring, Hirotaka earring, Pianegonda ring, Xeno underwear and stylist’s own collar.
The most important question here becomes: Is this a situation that is sustainable for you? Are you comfortable with the degree of honesty present among all three people involved in this (four, counting the child)? If there’s something that bothers you about it, what is it exactly that leaves you unsettled? Sitting with these questions will lead you to the best course of action for you, because you are the only person who has to live with you at the end of the day.
And if you were my friend, what I would say to you is this — are you truly infatuated with your co-worker, or do you just see them 40 hours a week? Consistency and proximity, especially in the professional context of teamwork, collaboration and problem-solving, can make a work connection feel like it has more potential for romantic intimacy, depth and longevity than it actually does. Dating your co-worker can be hard (there’s no workplace escape from your personal life if you get into a fight, and one or both of you can find your material stability threatened if the romantic relationship sours). Dating someone with a child can be hard. Dating someone in an open marriage can be hard. In your mind, body and heart, is your connection with this person worth what it comes with? Considering all angles of the situation through the lens of your own well-being first and foremost will give you all the answers you need.
Photography Eugene Kim
Styling Britton Litow
Hair and makeup Jaime Diaz
Visual direction Jess Aquino de Jesus
Production Cecilia Alvarez Blackwell
Photo assistant Joe Elgar
Styling assistant Wendy Gonzalez Vivaño
Lifestyle
‘Hellions’ author Julia Elliott wins $150K fiction prize
Author Julia Elliott won for her short story collection Hellions.
Forrest Clonts/Tin House
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Forrest Clonts/Tin House
Writer Julia Elliott has won this year’s Carol Shields Prize for Fiction for her short story collection Hellions. The award honors work by women and nonbinary authors in the U.S. and Canada.
Elliott, who also authored the novel The New and Improved Romie Futch and the short story collection The Wilds, is known for blending elements of Southern gothic horror, surrealism and fairy tale. Hellions, published in 2025, includes stories set against backdrops like a plague-stricken medieval convent, a feminist art colony, and small Southern towns.
“This eerie, eclectic, genre-leaping collection takes no half-measures; every sentence of Hellions crackles or crawls,” wrote the prize jury in a statement. “Here, human folly moves against a backdrop of horror and magic … But for all its wildness, there is tremendous control.”
The prize, named after a Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist, awards $150,000 to one winner each year. Novels, short story collections, and graphic novels by women and nonbinary authors are eligible.
This year’s finalists included Quiara Alegría Hudes (The White Hot), Lee Lai (Cannon), Megha Majumdar (A Guardian and a Thief), and Sonya Walger (Lion). They will each receive $12,500.
The Carol Shields Prize went to writer Canisia Lubrin in 2025.
You can listen to actor Donna Lynne Champlin read Elliott’s story “Hellion” on the Death, Sex & Money podcast here.
Lifestyle
Video: The Fashion References in ‘Cats: The Jellicle Ball’
new video loaded: The Fashion References in ‘Cats: The Jellicle Ball’
By Helen Shaw, Vanessa Friedman, Léo Hamelin, Laura Salaberry and Sutton Raphael
June 2, 2026
Lifestyle
Inside the all-masc lesbian and translesbian revue electrifying L.A. nightlife
At around 1 in the morning at the Sassafras Saloon in Hollywood, four masc lesbians in cowboy hats and chaps were dancing on top of the bar while bartenders attempted to continue making espresso martinis beneath them.
One performer crawled into the crowd and between the spread legs of an audience member, licking the air between their thighs. Another wrapped a belt around their girlfriend’s neck while thrusting against her to Bon Jovi’s “You Give Love a Bad Name.” The ravenous audience, almost entirely women, fluttered dollar bills all around, while easily filling the saloon’s 300-person capacity.
Across Los Angeles, countless strip clubs and revue shows were unfolding at that same hour, though none quite like this and likely few provoking this level of frenzy. The night had all the riotous energy of a scene from “Coyote Ugly,” with the choreographed masculinity of “Magic Mike.” Playing on the latter’s name, this was the doing of Magic Mascs, an all-masc lesbian and translesbian revue, by sapphics for sapphics.
Skye Valentinez, from left, Alexa Legend, Daddii Syd and King Captain are members of Magic Mascs, an all-masc lesbian and translesbian collective, that started in February.
“Our idea was to give lesbians what men get all the time at a strip club, but instead of just sitting around and singing ‘Pink Pony Club,’ actually going wild,” said group founder Daddii Syd, a.k.a. Syd Latimore.
The performers, self-described “daddies” — Daddii Syd, Alexa Legend, Skye Valentinez and King Captain — formed Magic Mascs in February. The performance at the Saloon was their third overall, but the group has already become an institution within lesbian nightlife in Los Angeles. They will make their debut during a Pride Month performance on Friday at Womxn Pride’s rooftop party in downtown L.A.
The members come from professional dance backgrounds. King Captain entered dance school at age 12 and taught dance for nearly a decade. Daddii Syd has danced since childhood. Alexa Legend spent years go-go dancing across clubs in the city before joining the troupe. Skye Valentinez, the baby of the group — cherub-faced, smiling through braces — is the newest to performing, though she steps into it naturally, exhibiting the same living, breathing caricature of masculinity as the rest of them.
“No one’s trying to be cisgender,” King Captain makes clear. “We’re not trying to be the kind of men who are born into and fed by patriarchy,” Daddii Syd added. “We’re redefining masculinity.”
King Captain gets their underwear stuffed with dollar bills from the crowd.
Magic Mascs’ success follows a broader trend of lesbians confidently stepping into masculinity before hungry eyes. In the past year, performative masc competitions have appeared across the country, with lesbians — hair slicked back and carabiners dangling from their Carhartt jeans — showing off in front of leering crowds. Magic Mascs feels like a more professionalized version of that phenomenon, less tongue-in-cheek — just tongue.
“We always knew there was a huge hunger for this,” Daddii Syd said.
Their first performance, in San Diego, sold out fast.
“I knew right away we were onto something special,” Daddii Syd said.
Videos of the troupe traveled far across sapphics’ algorithms, especially clips of King Captain, whose devoted fan base — known collectively as “The Castle” — make arduous trips just to see them in the flesh. One fan drove more than 20 hours from Dallas to San Diego to see Magic Mascs. Another sent an edible fruit bouquet from Australia.
Backstage, every gesture from the troupe was ultra-confident. Captain, wearing briefs stuffed with a sock full of rice, talked to me with a leg cocked on the footrest of my stool. Daddii Syd, Alexa Legend and Skye Valentinez stood pelvis-forward, hands behind their heads, flexing ropey muscles. They loved the camera, eyeing it like prey while tipping the brims of their cowboy hats. (“You guys are like the modern-day Beatles,” our photographer said.)
King Captain gets the Hollywood crowd into a frenzy during a recent show.
Everything in the show revolved around their hips. The performers rolled and glided before delivering sudden, mechanical thrusts powerful enough to rattle nearby glasses. Their bodies were taut with effort and exaggerated lust. Daddii Syd performed with her girlfriend Jamie in matching plaid, not leaving much to the imagination as they licked whipped cream off each other.
Alexa Legend, who described herself as shy offstage, eventually stripped down to nipple pasties and a cowboy hat, firing confetti from her crotch into the crowd. King Captain swerved their hips like a powerful mechanical bull. “Oh, Captain, my captain,” someone in the crowd said, hand pressed dramatically to her forehead.
They paid particular attention to a woman in a wheelchair in the crowd — typical of their performances — asking if they could sit on the wheelchair. They received keen consent. “That was, um, very nice,” she told me after, still a little lost for words.
“We’re huge on consent,” Daddii Syd said. At the start of the show, they told the crowd to cross their arms in a Wakanda Forever pose if they didn’t wish to be touched. They checked in constantly while moving through the crowd, leaning close to ask questions like, “Is this OK?” and “Anywhere you don’t like to be touched?”
Captain learned these habits through work in intimacy coordination and under the mentorship of Tonia Sina, among the first professional intimacy coordinators in Hollywood. That ethos of care extended beyond their interactions with the audience and into the way they interacted with one another offstage.
“We want everyone in the crowd to feel gorgeous,” King Captain said before the recent show at Sassafras Saloon in Hollywood.
King Captain, left, and Lauren Henson, a stage kitten for the Magic Mascs, perform together on the bar.
Forming a sanctuary for themselves was just as important to the troupe as emboldening others’ desire. “It’s hard to find other masc friends,” Daddii Syd said. “Everybody’s weirdly competitive and trying to sabotage each other.” King Captain agreed, asking: “Why can’t we all be daddies at the same time?”
Daddii Syd and King Captain, who are both in their 30s, had little butch representation or friendship growing up and they have now become something like father figures to Alexa Legend and Skye Valentinez, who are in their 20s.
“We have to protect each other,” King Captain said. “We have to look out for each other.”
Daddii Syd put her arm around Skye Valentinez and said: “Look at this beautiful baby we have.”
That tenderness carried straight into the night. There was a striking seriousness to the whole performance, which spanned from just past 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. Unlike a bachelorette party or the typical male revue, there was no giggling in the room, and no wink of camp from the performers. Here was a rare claim to unabashed public sapphic desire; it was given the scale and seriousness routinely afforded to heterosexual display, like the gleeful bravado of a man striding into Hooters.
By the end of the night at Sassafras Saloon, the performers had stripped down nearly to nothing, pouring water over themselves while the audience roared. The atmosphere felt like one of collective release, a recognition that masculinity and desire don’t belong only to men — that a group of four masc lesbians can be horny, inspire horniness and ultimately stir a hysteria that once greeted Channing Tatum or even the Beatles.
It was the magnitude of the response that night at the Saloon, as on every other night they’ve performed, that’s inspiring their next moves: total domination in sum. The troupe is already planning a national tour through Florida, Dallas and Sacramento, though Daddii Syd’s ambitions extend much further.
“The idea,” she told me, “is to go global. Like a boy band.”
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