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'After Midnight' host Taylor Tomlinson is ready to joke about her bipolar II. Mostly

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'After Midnight' host Taylor Tomlinson is ready to joke about her bipolar II. Mostly

Taylor Tomlinson says her on stage presence isn’t a persona or a character: “It’s just the best version of me.”

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Comic Taylor Tomlinson was just 16 when she caught the stand-up bug. That’s when she started performing at open mics in church basements in Orange County, Calif., where she grew up.

“It’s not a cool story,” Tomlinson says. “But … church audiences are very supportive — as long as you don’t say anything dark, edgy or blue.”

Over the years, Tomlinson’s material has shifted, with topics ranging from the perils of dating on apps to finding out she has bipolar II disorder. Though she was initially unsure about talking about her own mental health on stage, she says it’s helped her connect with the audience.

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“I got such amazing feedback from people who had been struggling with their mental health, … how it made them feel seen and less alone and made them feel better about their own journey,” Tomlinson says.

Tomlinson describes her on-stage presence as “the sharpest, quickest, wittiest, most confident version” of herself: “When I started doing stand-up in high school, it felt like more of a persona, … like the version of myself that I knew I could be and wanted to become, but wasn’t yet,” she says. “And I think over the years, who I am off stage and who I am on stage have come together where I do feel that I am the same person everywhere.”

Earlier in the year, Tomlinson became the youngest ever late-night host. Her CBS show, After Midnight, has been described as a game show that centers on internet culture. Tomlinson also has three stand-up specials on Netflix: Quarter-Life Crisis, Look at You and Have It All. She’ll soon be traveling the country with her Save Me tour.

Interview highlights

On losing her mother to cancer when she was a child and how that affected her path to comedy

I’m not saying that everybody in comedy or any creative person has to come from this dark place and the only way you’re funny is if you have a darkness about you. I don’t think that’s true. But for me, that changed who I was and who I was going to become. And it changed my sense of humor. And it made me try really hard to prove myself in a way that I don’t think I would have if she were still alive. Because after you lose a parent, you’re still trying to impress them, and you’re still trying to be somebody that they would have liked and respected and loved and been proud of. And you’re hoping other people who knew them tell you that. …

I do rely on other people’s accounts of her, because there’s only so much you remember when you lose somebody at 8 years old. … Like my aunt has said to me, “Oh, your expressions on stage will remind me of her.” … And that means so much to me. And growing up, I wanted to be a writer before I wanted to be a comedian. And they would say, “Your mom was such a great writer.” And there’s so many ways I’m not like her. Like she was an extrovert. She was very bubbly. She was very charismatic. She was gorgeous. … I don’t think I shine brightly as she does and I, in a weird way, feel like my becoming a comedian and a professionally creative person and a writer is like my way of honoring the potential that was wasted by the universe taking her.

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On why she left the church after her mom died

I had been told if you believe and pray and stay faithful, God will answer your prayers. And we had so many people praying for [my mom] and she believed she was going to get better. And so to watch your mom die of cancer, even while everybody gathers around her and lays hands on her and supports her and prays for her and then for them to turn around and go, “Well, God did heal her. He just healed her in a different way. She’s healed in heaven.” And I was like, whoa, OK. Like, the rewrite on that is crazy. It made me question everything. And slowly over the next 10 years, I felt like I was struggling to stay in it the whole time I was growing up, and I just felt like I was a bad Christian because I didn’t, in my heart, agree with everything.

On being diagnosed with bipolar II disorder

I tried so many antidepressants and they weren’t working for me, and I was having terrible side effects. … It was certainly a years-long process trying to find what worked for me.

Then when I finally did find what worked for me, I sort of worked backwards from that and was like, oh, this makes sense. … I had so much shame around that diagnosis when I first got it, and I was embarrassed that I felt ashamed because I’ve never judge anybody else who had it. But when it’s you, it’s somehow different, which is why I started writing jokes about it.

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On deciding to joke about having bipolar

I remember my therapist said to me, “Maybe we don’t talk about this on stage.” And I was like, “I’ve already done it.” … Once you write one joke and it hits and you really like the joke, you’re like, well, it’s got to go in the act. … But when I filmed [Have It All], I felt great about those jokes and then in the months waiting for it to come out, I started panicking and was like, Oh no, I can’t un-share any of this.

Over the years, I’ve gotten better about editing myself and deciding what is going to go in the act and what I’m just going to keep private. But it’s a lot of trial and error. … The guiding light for me has been even if something kills on stage, do I feel good telling it every night, or do I dread that bit coming up? I have done jokes about very personal things that I took out of the act because I was dreading getting to that part of the hour every night, and I was like, ooh, that’s probably a sign that I’m not ready to talk about this yet. … I also run jokes by family members and friends before I do them, because a joke is not worth destroying a relationship, in my opinion.

Heidi Saman and Susan Nyakundi produced and edited this interview for broadcast. Bridget Bentz, Molly Seavy-Nesper and Beth Novey adapted it for the web.

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Upcoming Benefit Concert For L.A. Wildfires Gets Overwhelming Response From Artists, Bands

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Upcoming Benefit Concert For L.A. Wildfires Gets Overwhelming Response From Artists, Bands

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A Couple Kisses That Sealed the Deal

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A Couple Kisses That Sealed the Deal

When Olivia Christine Snyder-Spak matched with Elias Jeremy Stein on Hinge in September 2021, she was a decade into online dating but had never found an ideal partner. “I had probably gone on at least a few hundred first dates, sometimes even doing two in a day,” she said.

Mr. Stein was less versed in internet matchmaking and had been on only a handful of dates over the previous year. “I wanted a serious relationship and decided to try the online route since meeting people in person during Covid was harder,” he said.

At the time, Mr. Stein, 35, was renting an apartment in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn; Ms. Snyder-Spak, 36, lived on Manhattan’s Lower East Side.

The two exchanged messages for a week about their shared love for cooking classes and art projects and exchanging funny stories. Then, Mr. Stein asked Ms. Snyder-Spak on a mini-golfing date.

When they met, in mid-September, at the Putting Green mini-golf course in Brooklyn, Mr. Stein was struck by Ms. Snyder-Spak’s energy. “She was super cute and seemed bubbly,” he said.

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They played golf for an hour, chatting about their backgrounds and professions as they navigated the course. “We laughed a lot because Olivia kept hitting the ball far away from the hole,” Mr. Stein said. “The conversation was so good that I asked her for drinks afterward.”

They walked to the nearby Other Half Brewing, sat outside and continued talking over beers for the next several hours. “We were easy with each other, and it was clear we had clicked,” Mr. Stein said.

Eventually, it started to rain heavily. As they waited for their Uber rides, Mr. Stein asked Ms. Snyder-Spak if he could kiss her. “I said yes, and when he smooched me, it felt like a movie kiss,” she said, describing it as “very romantic.”

They settled into a dating cadence almost immediately, seeing each other several times a week for activities like sushi-making, comedy shows and museums. On Halloween, they went to Green-Wood Cemetery in Brooklyn. “The spookiness of a cemetery seemed fitting, and the fact that Eli felt the same way was a big sign that he was going to be a great teammate, down for whatever,” Ms. Snyder-Spak said.

A vacation to Turks and Caicos Islands in January 2022 solidified their commitment. “Our flight back got canceled because of bad weather and a staffing shortage, and the two we booked after that also got canceled,” Mr. Stein said. “We eventually ended up in Miami and got bumped on our flight home.”

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Nevertheless, they had fun. “That’s when I knew that Olivia was the one.”

The experience made Ms. Snyder-Spak “realize that I wanted to do hard things together with Eli forever,” she said.

Mr. Stein grew up in Durham, N.C. He is a product manager on the software development team at Memorial Sloan Kettering in New York and the founder of Admissions Intelligence, a college admissions platform that uses artificial intelligence. He has a bachelor’s degree in international relations from Vassar College.

Ms. Snyder-Spak is from Woodbridge, Conn., and works as the director of nonfiction at the entertainment production company Topic Studios, in New York. She has a bachelor’s degree in film from Dartmouth.

After their Turks and Caicos trip, the couple began spending several nights a week at one of their two apartments. In July 2022, they began renting a place, which they’ve since bought, in Park Slope, Brooklyn.

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Their bond grew as they decorated their home and traveled to places like Brazil, Portugal and Costa Rica. “My love for Olivia was getting stronger, and it was the right time to propose,” Mr. Stein said.

[Click here to binge read this week’s featured couples.]

On Dec. 13, 2023, during a nighttime picnic in Prospect Park, Mr. Stein asked Ms. Snyder-Spak to marry him as the Geminids meteor shower brightened the skies. As they kissed after she said yes, they caught a glimpse of a shooting star.

More than a year later, on Dec. 29, they wed on the front stoop of a Park Slope brownstone owned by Rabbi Yael Werber, a friend of the couple and the ceremony’s officiant. Rabbi Werber is affiliated with Congregation Beit Simchat Torah. Afterward, they walked to Mille-Feuille Bakery Cafe in Prospect Heights and indulged in three desserts.

In September, Mr. Stein and Ms. Snyder-Spak had hosted a six-day, pre-wedding celebration in Asheville, N.C., for 140 guests; it included activities such as solving a murder mystery, visiting local breweries and tubing down the French Broad River. The festivities culminated in a symbolic wedding ceremony on Sept. 1 at Yesterday Spaces, an event venue in Leicester, N.C.

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“All my online dating before Eli was worth it because I found the guy I was looking for all along,” Ms. Snyder-Spak said. “I remember the hard work, but now everything feels like magic.”

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The Southern California fires have us on the edge of our seat. When can we finally relax?

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The Southern California fires have us on the edge of our seat. When can we finally relax?

When our city went up in flames last week, everyone I know in Los Angeles was in emergency mode. Now, as a new week begins, it’s hard to know how to feel.

For those of us living in neighborhoods not decimated by fire, the acute threat seems to have passed, at least for the moment. The skies are blueish and a light breeze is blowing as I write this. There’s ash on the ground, but less of it in the air. Most LAUSD schools have thankfully reopened. Friends and neighbors who left town are trickling back home.

And yet the National Weather Service warned of a “particularly dangerous situation” with wind gusts up to 45 to 70 mph from 4 a.m. Tuesday through 12 p.m. Wednesday for swaths of Los Angeles and Ventura counties. Additional powerful wind events are also expected throughout the week.

“We are not in the clear yet and we must not let our guard down,” Los Angeles Fire Chief Kristin Crowley said at a news conference Monday.

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And so, in my house at least, the evacuation bags are still packed and waiting by the door and my phone remains in easy reach at all times. But how much longer do we have to live like this, allowing Watch Duty alerts to interrupt our sleep, poised for flight? When will we stop feeling the threat of fire hanging over our heads? Or has the threat always been there and we’re only now just seeing it?

“The reality check is there will always be events that nature throws at us that, no matter how great our technology, we can’t fight,” said Costas Synolakis, professor of civil and environmental engineering at USC. “We don’t have to live in fear, but this should give us pause about how vulnerable we are.”

A season of high risk

Fire experts say it was the deadly combination of extremely high Santa Ana winds of up to 99 mph and a city that hadn’t seen significant rain in eight months that set the stage for the two most destructive fires in L.A. history: the Palisades fire and the Eaton fire. Collectively they have burned more than 37,000 acres and killed at least 24 people.

“How a fire starts, grows and spreads has a lot to do with wind and rainfall,” said Amanda Stasiewicz, assistant professor of fire policy and management at the University of Oregon. “We had this duality of high risk from drought making things very pro-fire growth and pro-fire proliferation plus fast-moving winds that are going to carry it quickly, make it harder to suppress and challenge firefighter safety.”

The winds may have died down for now, but the dry conditions remain unchanged, making it easy for new fires to break out from a long list of sources. If the underbelly of an overheated car comes in contact with bone-dry vegetation, that can start a fire. If someone accidentally drags a chain behind their truck, unknowingly sending sparks into the air, that too can set our hills ablaze.

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“As long as these drought conditions endure, having that go bag packed is not a bad idea,” Stasiewicz said. “If you have a wind event, the opportunity is there to have a fire get bigger, quicker — and larger fires are harder to contain.”

Her advice? Keep an eye on the weather forecast, paying special attention to wind advisories. “It’s a bit of keeping yourself on your toes,” she said.

This ends with rain

Despite the terrifying imagery and intense warnings, keep in mind that the high wind gusts predicted for the coming week are still significantly lower than the howling “Wizard of Oz”-like winds that blew through the city the night our two deadly fires began.

“To be clear, it looks very unlikely that we’ll see strong north winds of anywhere near the magnitude that we did in the beginning of [last] week,” said Daniel Swain, a UCLA climate scientist on a YouTube livestream on Friday.

However, he does not think L.A. is out of the woods yet when it comes to fire risk.

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“Relatively strong Santa Ana winds have a cumulative effect on intense drying,” he said. “I call them atmospheric blow-dryer-like winds. The longer they blow, the dryer and more flammable the vegetation becomes.”

According to Swain, the city of L.A. will not truly be able to breathe a collective sigh of relief until we see rain.

“What we really need is an inch or two of rain to truly and finally end fire season in L.A.,” he said. “Until then, any time there are dry windy conditions, we are going to see an additional risk.”

Unfortunately, there is only a slim chance of scattered showers in the forecast for the next two weeks.

“There is a chance we may continue to see fire risk into February or even March,” Swain said.

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Facing a new reality

Even with no rain in the forecast, Synolakis, who has studied people’s response to natural disasters like tsunamis, hurricanes and fires across the world, thinks it’s likely that most of us will relax our hyper-vigilant state fairly soon.

“Last week the feeling in my community in Venice was eerily similar to the first few days after 9/11 when people didn’t know if there were going to be more attacks elsewhere in the United States,” he told me. “Hearing helicopters, and seeing these giant plumes of fire increased our uncertainty. People didn’t know if the fire was going to spread all the way down here.”

But as long as the fire plumes continue to clear and evacuation orders continue to be downgraded to warnings or less, he expects people who have not been directly affected by the fires to return to a semblance of normalcy.

“If there is no new flare-up, I think by the weekend people in surrounding communities will take a deep sigh of relief,” he said.

Whether that relief is warranted, however, is worth considering. The feeling of acute threat may have passed, but climate scientists have been warning us for decades that a warming world will be accompanied by more intense weather and more intense fire.

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“These fires are entirely unexpected, but this is what I keep telling people about climate change,” Synolakis said. “You are going to have more events that are unexpected, and you are not going to be able to deal with them.”

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