Movie Reviews
Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile Review: The Year’s Worst Film Yet

2022 has seen the meme-ification of flicks like Morbius and Minions: The Rise of Gru. Nevertheless, nothing might have ready the world for an expertise as distinctive as Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile. This musical comedy options Shawn Mendes as a singing crocodile named Lyle who lives in a Manhattan residence. When a household strikes into the residence, their worlds are turned the wrong way up in an journey crammed with pop songs, subpar CGI, and essentially the most typical story ever informed. There should not sufficient phrases to explain regardless of the hell this film was.
We’ve seen tales a couple of boy and his canine. We’ve seen tales a couple of boy and his robotic. Now, prepare for a narrative a couple of boy and his crocodile. The movie introduces us to Lyle after he’s found by Hector P. Valenti, a charismatic magician portrayed by Oscar-winning actor Javier Bardem. After his acclaimed efficiency as a psychopathic assassin in No Nation for Previous Males and recent off his Oscar-nominated efficiency in Being the Ricardos, Bardem reveals up as a singing, vibrant showman in an against-type function. How did this occur? I can not start to inform you how unbelievable it’s that Bardem agreed to do that challenge, however he definitely acts his coronary heart out on this movie.
Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile then introduces the household to us. Now we have our dad and mom performed by Constance Wu and Scoot McNairy, and their son, Josh (Winslow Fegley), a neurotic baby shifting into New York Metropolis. He will get essentially the most stereotypical, clichéd introduction ever as the brand new child in class who eats his lunch alone, and no person pays consideration to him. He will get picked on, and all he needs is a pal. However fortunately for him, a singing crocodile resides in his attic. After one or two adventures, Josh and Lyle turn into greatest pals. Sadly, their friendship doesn’t really feel eased into or pure, as they solely attain this level as a result of the screenplay dictates it.
Nevertheless, there are such a lot of points with the execution of those concepts that every little thing turns into comical. For instance, there ought to be a regulation in opposition to scenes the place people uncover unusual CGI creatures of their properties, they usually shriek at one another. We noticed this in Sonic the Hedgehog, in Clifford the Massive Purple Canine, and we get it once more with Wu’s character stumbling throughout Lyle taking a shower. As a matter of reality, the entire film is unbelievably formulaic and predictable. I knew what the whole movie can be about earlier than it even started as a result of it’s a retread of each different household movie with this idea.
We bought Clifford the Massive Purple Canine lower than a yr earlier than this film — one other poorly written household movie that tells a narrative practically an identical to this one. Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile is exclusive as a result of it’s a couple of stay, singing crocodile interacting with actual people. That being mentioned, this idea doesn’t work in any respect. Firstly, Shawn Mendes’s notorious pop music voice popping out of a crocodile seems laughable. It doesn’t look or sound correct as a result of the voice and character design merely don’t match. Secondly, Lyle doesn’t communicate a phrase of dialogue on this movie. Practically every little thing that comes out of his mouth is a part of the film’s soundtrack. It feels much less like a movie and extra like a cinematic adaptation of a Shawn Mendes album, with a large crocodile thrown into the combo.
You gained’t consider your eyes as you watch this insane movie. This doesn’t even really feel like an actual film. It seems like a fever dream or a parody of an actual film. Like a faux film enjoying on TV within the background of an precise film scene. Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile is past hilarious in essentially the most ironic manner doable. Whereas it’s the worst film of the yr, my jaw dropped a number of occasions and I had the goofiest grin. The story beats are ridiculous, and it feels just like the film by no means units up any real character drama, as a substitute shoehorning bits of it in one by one.
Moreover, the movie has Josh meet somebody in school named Kara Delaney (Lyric Hurd). She reveals up at first to ship Josh a pal request, disappears completely for about an hour, after which reveals up once more, showing to be pals with Josh. I get the impression that she had many scenes lower out, as a result of her character serves no goal within the story besides to assist Josh as soon as within the movie’s last act. The writing is so poor that it could typically really feel just like the actors don’t even consider the dialogue popping out of their mouths. This can be probably the most absurd experiences I’ve ever had as a result of it’s uncommon that I watch a film that’s totally horrible, however it additionally could also be probably the most unbelievable issues I’ve ever witnessed.
Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile could also be a masterpiece. It’s sensible in its personal manner. The songs are written by Pasek and Paul, two extremely proficient songwriters identified for his or her work in La La Land, The Best Showman, and Pricey Evan Hansen. Their songs are the strongest a part of this film, as there are just a few catchy ones, however it is a movie with lackluster path and musical numbers. That is the proper film for each youngsters and intoxicated adults. Would you want to observe a stay crocodile sitting in a courtroom? Sure, you completely would. Look no additional than this masterpiece of an atrocity.
SCORE: 2/10
As ComingSoon’s evaluate coverage explains, a rating of two equates to “Horrible.” The movie is nearly irredeemable, and is probably going a waste of time for nearly everybody concerned.
Disclosure: The critic attended the world premiere for ComingSoon’s Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile evaluate.

Movie Reviews
‘Magellan’ Review: Gael Garcia Bernal Plays the Famous Explorer in Lav Diaz’s Exquisitely Shot Challenge of an Arthouse Epic

If “Gael Garcia Bernal as Magellan” sounds to you like a pretty cool Netflix series, you have never seen a film by Filipino auteur and slow-cinema master Lav Diaz. Known on the international festival circuit for his epically minimalist features with bladder-busting running times, his movies are challenging, high-art dramas made for a very select few — the opposite of the flashy, ADHD-friendly content found on streamers.
Premiering in Cannes, where Diaz’s most awarded film, Norte, the End of History, played in Un Certain Regard back in 2013, Magellan (Magalhães) is not for the impatient viewer who likes their explorer stories action-packed and easy to digest.
Magellan
The Bottom Line
A stunning time capsule that’s easier to admire than watch.
Venue: Cannes Film Festival (Cannes Premiere)
Cast: Gael García Bernal, Ângela Azevedo, Amado Arjay Babon, Ronnie Lazaro
Director, screenwriter: Lav Diaz
2 hours 40 minutes
And yet this exquisitely crafted feature may be one of the director’s most accessible works to date. It clocks in at only 160 minutes (Diaz’s films often run twice that long, if not more), but, more importantly, provides an honest glimpse at a figure who famously opened the world up for exploration, while furthering the mass destruction wreaked by colonialism.
“I saw a white man!” an indigenous woman screams in the movie’s opening scene, which shows her working calmly by a river in a picturesque rain forest. Like the snake appearing in the Garden of Eden — a Biblical reference that will soon be forced upon tribes with their own religious culture — the arrival of Europeans on the shores of unexplored lands will carry evil into an innocent place, changing it for the worse.
That first sequence takes place during the Conquest of Malacca in 1511, which saw Magellan fighting under Portuguese conquistador Afonso de Albuquerque. If you’re not familiar with this dark period, Diaz doesn’t necessarily make things clear enough to grasp. He’s less interested in historical facts and figures than in visually capturing what the start of colonial decimation looked like on both sides. Magellan never appears in his movie as a hero or antihero, but as a bold profiteer reaping what he can out of a global race to secure land through war and plunder. Guns, germs and steel indeed.
The narrative, which stretches from the bloody clashes on Malacca to Magellan’s death at the Battle of Mactan (Philippines) ten years later, portrays this decade of conquest and ruination with elegantly composed tableaux shot from a fixed position. Diaz is known for using black-and-white, but here he teams with Artur Tort (credited as both co-cinematographer and co-editor) to shoot with a rich color palette of green, brown and blue, finding beautifully detailed textures in locations on both sea and land. The villages recreated by production designers Isabel Garcia and Allen Alzola seem so authentic that you would think they had always been there, nestled in the jungle.
Certain images look like they were torn right out of 16th-century paintings, which is why Magellan is a movie you tend to gaze at rather than watch with full attention. Diaz often shows us the aftermath of battles, where dozens of bodies are artfully splayed on the ground, instead of the battles themselves. Lots of other drama happens off-screen, even if we do witness certain key moments from Magellan’s last years — whether it’s his decision to work under the Spanish crown after the Portuguese refused to back his last voyage, or his discovery of a passage to the South Pacific that became known as the Magellan Strait.
But the drama can be very stolid, borderline dull at times. Not that Garcia Bernal isn’t perfect for the part: Costumed in lots of fluffy shirts, he plays a fearless man with an immense ego who suffered for his success, making the whole profession of being a conquistador look less like a valiant enterprise than a major drag. But Diaz’s observant style (he never cuts within a scene; there’s no music to induce emotion) can keep us at arm’s length from events. Perhaps the most dramatic part of the film is the one that’s the most painfully stretched out, depicting Magellan’s long, relentless voyage (1519-1521) from Spain to the Spice Islands, which saw many crew members die along the way.
But whatever the Spaniards or Portuguese went through pales in comparison to all the tribespeople whom we see imprisoned, converted, enslaved or just plain murdered by Magellan and his men. The other main character in the film is Enrique (Amado Arjay Babon), an indigenous man whom Magellan captures on Malacca and takes with him on all his subsequent journeys. He gradually becomes “civilized” (to use a colonialist term) as the narrative progresses, until the tides turn in the Philippines and we see him returning back to his initial state, freed from the shackles of European domination.
As much as Magellan is a film that will play to a highly select audience, it makes a subtle but loud political statement about the colonial mindset both then and now. When the conquistadors claim they are fighting so that “Islam shall finally disappear,” hoping to beat the Moors in securing more territory, it sounds a lot like speeches you hear from far-right pundits and politicians in Europe today. Diaz’s movie may resemble a magnificent time capsule — and one that we watch with a certain distance — but there are moments when its stark realism reminds us how easily history can repeat itself.
Movie Reviews
Kapkapiii movie review: Horror-comedy signals a saturation point for the genre

Kapkapiii movie review
Cast: Shreyas Talpade, Tusshar Kapoor
Director: Sangeeth Sivan
Star Rating: ★★
As I exited the theatre after watching Kapkapiii, I had two thoughts: one, the film leaves you with more questions than answers. And two, Bollywood really needs to break up with horror comedies—the situationship is reaching a saturation point.
Directed by the late Sangeeth Sivan, the story revolves around a group of friends—played by Shreyas Talpade, Dinker Sharma, Dherendra Kumar Tiwari, and Sonia Rathee—who begin playing a dangerous game with an ouija board, unknowingly summoning the spirit of Anamika. Word spreads fast, and soon there’s a long queue of people eager to get answers from the spirit—ranging from revelations about someone’s father’s real identity to solving petty domestic mysteries like stolen jewellery.
But things soon spiral out of control. How the group handles the chaos that follows forms the rest of the plot.
Kapkapiii, a remake of the 2023 Malayalam film Romancham, starts off as harmless fun. We’ve seen enough buddy comedies to know the tropes—a token drunk, a scaredy-cat—and they’re all present here. The problem is that Kapkapiii thinks it’s funnier than it actually is. Written by Kumar Priyadarshi and Saurabh Anand, the story gets increasingly convoluted. A tenant who fancies one of the guys is thrown in. Then comes a gangster, played by Dibyendu Bhattacharya. After the intermission, Tusshar Kapoor joins the gang, and from that point, it’s hard to track where the film is even headed. We get “chadar mod” and “len ke bode” in the name of jokes. Eventually, you stop laughing—and even stop feeling scared. You just sit there like a zombie—expressionless.
Shreyas Talpade is the anchor of this sinking ship. He’s the only one who truly understands the comic timing the genre demands, but with limited material, there’s only so much he can do. Tusshar Kapoor’s character is confusing—you’re never sure why he’s even in the film. Every actor tries, which is both reassuring and a little sad. Reassuring because at least there’s effort. Sad because, despite that, you’re bored.
The jump scares are minimal, and that’s about all you get.
The music by Ajay Jayanthi is a miss.
In the end, Kapkapiii is a classic case of wasted potential—a film that wants to be a quirky horror-comedy but ends up being neither spooky nor funny. It leans too heavily on tired tropes, underdeveloped subplots, and a scattered screenplay.
Movie Reviews
Movie review: 'Dogma' re-release highlights thoughtful script – UPI.com

1 of 5 | Ben Affleck (L) and Matt Damon star in “Dogma,” returning to theaters June 5. Photo courtesy of Triple Media Films
LOS ANGELES, May 23 (UPI) — Dogma, returning to theaters June 5, comes from a decade where indie writer/directors were celebrated for the words in their screenplays. Kevin Smith was one of the major voices that emerged in the era of Quentin Tarantino, Richard Linklater and Sofia Coppola.
In his first film, Clerks, Smith had his convenience store clerks express all of his thoughts about Star Wars, retail and relationships. Dogma, his fourth film, was the work of a writer who grew up Catholic and had thoughts about faith.
Exiled angels Bartleby (Ben Affleck) and Loki (Matt Damon) find a way to get back into heaven. As part of a Catholicism outreach campaign, New Jersey Cardinal Glick (George Carlin) promises forgiveness to anyone who passes through his church’s arch.
If the angels gain forgiveness, then take human form and die, God will have no choice but to allow them back into heaven. What they don’t realize is that invalidating God’s decree will cause the end of all existence.
So God’s Metatron (Alan Rickman) visits Planned Parenthood employee Bethany (Linda Fiorentino) and gives her the task of preventing Loki and Bartleby from entering the church. Smith regulars Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Smith) are sent as prophets to help Bethany in her quest.
This is a story that adapts Catholic scripture into a modern apocalyptic story, but it is really a vehicle for characters to talk about religion, the way characters in other Smith movies talk about movies and comic books.
That dialogue is performed emphatically, and more subtly it’s well edited by Smith and producer Scott Mosier. Smith’s biblical figures would use the F word while making their profound points, but maybe they learned it from millennia of humans, or at the Tower of Babel.
The film’s messages challenge some of the oldest doctrines of Catholicism. No one has to base their values on a movie, but as an artistic exploration of this thesis, all of Smith’s questions are backed up by a creative interpretation of the scripture.
The message is ultimately that God doesn’t care which religion you follow as long as you believe. That would offend organized religion, but the film unabashedly believes in God.
Jesus’ unsung 13th apostle Rufus (Chris Rock) tells Bethany that God wants people to think for themselves. As bold a take on religion as that might be, it is ultimately optimistic.
Bethany is a character seeking to regain her faith. She remembers the feelings that church gave her as a child.
Yet she no longer feels that as an adult, which is understandable with painful life experience. But she’s open to restoring her faith and this adventure gives her a reason.
Of course, Smith has a mischievous spark. Loki likes to talk nuns out of their faith when he’s literally an Angel with knowledge of God herself (Alanis Morissette).
Smith speculates on eras of Jesus’ life that were not in the Bible as characters speak of their time with him. Those extrapolations show empathy towards the burden of being the son of God for a teenager.
They’re also not meant to be canonical. Smith’s point is to get viewers thinking as they laugh, not launch a religion himself.
Exposure to biblical figures certainly does not make Jay any more wholesome, but his ability to keep making vulgar sexual innuendo amid crises of faith of apocalyptic proportions is impressive.
There is a little bit of gay panic when Bethany mistakes Bartleby and Loki for lovers, and Rufus exposes Jay’s secret desires for men. Characters also use the R-word, because 1999 was unfortunately before many people learned it was a slur, but Smith has addressed both of those issues in subsequent work.
The complicated release history of Dogma, passing between several studios, has made it difficult to see since its Blu-ray release. Now out of print and not streaming anywhere, the re-release is a welcome return of one of Smith’s seminal works.
Fred Topel, who attended film school at Ithaca College, is a UPI entertainment writer based in Los Angeles. He has been a professional film critic since 1999, a Rotten Tomatoes critic since 2001, and a member of the Television Critics Association since 2012 and the Critics Choice Association since 2023. Read more of his work in Entertainment.
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