Borderlands (2024) – Movie Review

Borderlands, 2024.

Directed by Eli Roth.
Starring Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Jack Black, Jamie Lee Curtis, Edgar Ramírez, Ariana Greenblatt, Florian Munteanu, Gina Gershon, Haley Bennett, Janina Gavankar, Cheyenne Jackson, Charles Babalola, Benjamin Byron Davis, Steven Boyer, Ryann Redmond, Bobby Lee, Olivier Richters, Justin Price, and Paula Andrea Placido.

SYNOPSIS:

Based on the best-selling videogame, this all-star action-adventure follows a ragtag team of misfits on a mission to save a missing girl who holds the key to unimaginable power.

An adaptation of the popular cooperative multiplayer open-world video game series, Borderlands doesn’t play to the strengths of exploration or the strengths of co-writer/director Eli Roth as a shock filmmaker. The ultraviolent horror guru seems like an inspired choice on paper, considering these are Mature-rated games that also derive energy and excitement from gore and juvenile humor (typically referencing pop culture or smartly deconstructing video game tropes), but he has bafflingly been given a PG-13 rating to work with. To be fair, one can also imagine this turning out just as lifeless and generic even if Eli Roth and co-writer Joe Crombie had been given the green light to do whatever they wanted because they seem to fundamentally not understand what anyone likes about these games and are packaging it into a cinematic interpretation devoid of any personality.

Simultaneously, not all of these shortcomings should necessarily be attributed to the filmmakers. Borderlands isn’t exactly the type of video game property with strong storytelling or beloved heroes that scream for an adaptation. However, given the game’s visual color and humorous dialogue, there is reason to believe this could work if it elicits laughter and delivers fun variations of the playable characters and sidekicks, possibly fleshing them out in the process. Here, the attempts at comedy are forced to the point of cringe, whereas the story is a generic tale about a teenage girl theorized to have special abilities capable of opening a hidden vault many have tried hunting for.

Everything here is lifeless to the point where it is also a struggle to find things to say, so here’s an anecdote about my opening-night screening (this film was not screened for press in Chicago.) 15 minutes into the film, a random man walks in and sits down, most likely sneaking in after having just finished watching something else. He left after five minutes, presumably because the snarky humor was bombing, the plotting was basic, the action was bland, and the visuals were dull and complemented by costumes that feel more like high-end cosplay. 

Cate Blanchett is the redhaired Lilith, a bounty hunter employed by Atlas (Edgar Ramirez) to rescue his daughter Tiny Tina (a fan-favorite played by Ariana Greenblatt) from one of his soldiers, Roland (a completely miscast Kevin Hart), aware that she is disposable to her father and locked away, only being used to one day open the vault when it is discovered. Meanwhile, one of the Mad Max-inspired masked psychos (Florian Munteanu) serves as a brute bodyguard for Tiny Tina. Three keys must be collected beforehand; this is based on a video game, after all. Unsurprisingly, everyone comes together and finds themselves on the same side, fighting against Atlas while searching for these keys.

As a game, there would be ample time to run off and cross paths with several kooky side characters offering up side missions that would give the consumer a sense of this world overrun by greedy corporations (a thematic thread the film does nothing with.) Or maybe it would be the right time to dig into the unique shooter mechanics that prioritized exploring and killing as much as possible to be rewarded with special weapon drops of varying damage levels and distinct traits (as far back as the first game, there were thousands of possibilities regarding these sometimes randomly generated firearms.)

Instead, Borderlands is rushing through this generic story (that smashes together multiple aspects and characters from all three games until it comes across as an overstuffed mess, similar to far too many other video game adaptations) like a player only concerned with speeding their way through the plot-centric quests, that’s not the right way to play Borderlands, and that for damn sure isn’t the correct way to adapt it.

Some other characters join the adventure, ranging from comedic robot sidekick Claptrap (for some reason voiced by Jack Black even though it sounds nothing like him and Lionsgate didn’t bother to market the movie, meaning it wouldn’t  have mattered just giving the role to voiceover performer David Eddings again) and Jamie Lee Curtis’ scientifically inclined Tannis (doing almost nothing in the movie but spouting exposition even though she tags along, making it feel like that fourth person in the party who doesn’t provide any real assistance and just racks up Achievements from everyone else’s hard work.)

No matter who they are, everyone feels halfway committed to their video game counterpart in screenplay construction. The bigger issue is that, in doing so, the filmmakers never figure out who these characters are or why anyone should care about them. Technically, you could say the film looks like Borderlands, but even that statement only goes so far since the adaptation is robbed of the aesthetically pleasing cel-shaded animation. The song choices for the action sequences are seemingly selected at random, with encounters against even giant monstrosities lasting about as long as they do in the trailer.

Everything here feels desperate to convince viewers that everyone involved gets and understands Borderlands, which couldn’t be farther from the truth. There is hesitation in calling the film awful since the actors are trying, and there is a base-level competence to the proceedings, but this is a bore with zero personality. 

Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ ★ / Movie: ★

Robert Kojder is a member of the Chicago Film Critics Association and the Critics Choice Association. He is also the Flickering Myth Reviews Editor. Check here for new reviews, follow my Twitter or Letterboxd, or email me at MetalGearSolid719@gmail.com

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