Movie Reviews
1986 Movie Reviews – Adventures of the American Rabbit, Adventures of Mark Twain, Clan of the Cave Bear, Iron Eagle, The Longshot, and Troll | The Nerdy
Welcome to an exciting year-long project here at The Nerdy. 1986 was an exciting year for films giving us a lot of films that would go on to be beloved favorites and cult classics. It was also the start to a major shift in cultural and societal norms, and some of those still reverberate to this day.
We’re going to pick and choose which movies we hit, but right now the list stands at nearly four dozen.
Yes, we’re insane, but 1986 was that great of a year for film.
The articles will come out – in most cases – on the same day the films hit theaters in 1986 so that it is their true 40th anniversary. All films are also watched again for the purposes of these reviews and are not being done from memory. In some cases, it truly will be the first time we’ve seen them.
This time around, it’s Jan. 17, 1986, and we’re off to see Adventures of the American Rabbit, Adventures of Mark Twain, Clan of the Cave Bear, Iron Eagle, The Longshot, and Troll.
Adventures of the American Rabbit
I have no idea how I had never once heard of this movie in my life, but after watching it, I highly doubt I will ever hear of it again.
Robert Rabbit (Barry Gordon) is visited by a mysterious old rabbit shortly after his birth that continues to show up throughout his childhood with vague references to his destiny. Eventually it is revealed Robert can turns into the roller skating hero, “American Rabbit” who is capable of heroic deeds and can stop the evil plans of a gang of jackals.
Somehow Toei Animation got dragged into this mess, and I have no clue how. The animation is sub-par. The plot is not remotely entertaining or engaging.
if this had come out in 1976 it would make a bit more sense with how patriotic everything was, but instead we ended up with it in 1986 for no apparent reason.
The Adventures of Mark Twain
This was another film I had never heard of, but at least I enjoyed this one more. Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer sneak aboard Mark Twain’s airship as he prepares to intercept Halley’s Comet. Becky Thatcher follows the two boys on board, and all three end up on a somewhat psychedelic journey with the famous author.
A feature-length claymation movie? I’m on board just at the mention of it. It’s a rather odd concept at the heart that Tom, Huck, and Becky are real in the story, but it works and makes for an interesting retrospective on Twain’s career.
I wasn’t always in love with some of the design choices in the film, but I still enjoyed it and would give it a recommendation.
The Clan of the Cave Bear
There were multiple books in this series. After watching this one, I’m not surprised we have never seen more of them.
Alya, a Cro-Magnon girl, loses her mother in an earthquake and is taken in as a child by a clan of Neanderthals. She is raised in their ways despite being a girl from “The Others.” She ends up breaking numerous taboos of the clan such as learning to use a weapon and disgracing the new Clan leader in combat. She eventually sets out on her own to find more of her kind, leaving her half-Neanderthal son behind.
I hated this movie. Not for Daryl Hannah, I actually thought she did a pretty good job with her role as Alya, but the story was just bonkers. I had heard for years about how ‘realistic’ it was. Oh, so Neanderthals somehow had a communication system to let each other know when a big Clan meetup was happening? And we’ll just ignore how the Clan of the Cave Bear had just moved at the start of the film to a random cave? Did they call all of the other clans and give them their new address?
One thing I have to admit is pretty specific to me. I grew up in the costume industry and was around special effects makeup artists a lot in my youth. I knew how to do things like make bullet holes look realistic by the age of 11. Some of the Cro-Magnon makeup in this film was laughable at times. Blend lines are not difficult to do. Anyone worth their salt can do them. Clearly these folks were not worth their salt.
The Clan of the Cave Bear can stay in its cave and never be seen again.
Iron Eagle
This is an awful movie. It’s just… yeah. It’s awful.
Doug Masters (Jason Gedrick) wants to follow in his dad’s footsteps and become an Air Force pilot. He gets his wish unexpectedly when his father is shot down and taken captive. With the government unwilling to step in, Doug recruits Colonel Charles “Chappy” Sinclair (Louis Gossett Jr.) to jump in a stolen fighter jet and the two of them will go and get Doug’s dad on their own.
Look, I don’t expect movies to reflect realism at all times. But if your film is set in the real world, then you need to at least follow some sort of logic. The idea that Doug and his other teenage buddies can pull this off doesn’t come off as “cool” or like some cunning plan, it comes off that 99.99% of adults are morons and it’s super easy to steal military equipment.
From the premise to some of the action scenes, the film is laughable in scope and presentation. I remembered not being that in love with the film when I saw it back in ’86, and I like it even less now.
The Longshot
A harmless comedy that forgets to be funny for long stretches.
Dooley (Tim Conway) and his three friends are down-on-their-luck gamblers who want to score just want to score one big win. When he learns of someone willing to drug a horse, they gamblers feel they are finally in line for their score, but, of course, nothing goes quite according to plan.
Teaming up Conway with Harvey Korman should have been a recipe for a great comedy, but what you end up with is just a middle-of-the-road one. There are some truly amusing moments (the cookout in the car scene gave me a good laugh), but then the complete implausibility of a lot of what was happening was just getting to be too much.
Conway and Korman were cornerstones of The Carol Burnett Show, but putting them in something structured like a movie was just too constraining for their talents, and it showed.
Troll
The first time the characters introduced themselves, boy did I do a double-take.
Harry Potter Sr. (Michael Moriarty) moves his family into an apartment building in San Francisco, unaware it is about to become the center of a long-standing magical war. Wendy Anne (Jenny Beck) is kidnapped by a Troll, and it ends up falling to her older brother, Harry Potter Jr. (Noah Hathaway), to team up with a fairy princess and put a stop to the evil plans.
As I said, I did a double-take at the names.
The movie is silly as can be, but I actually found myself entertained by it. A lot of that is due to Moriarty’s deadpan performance as the dad who becomes increasingly befuddled by everything that is happening around his family.
The script was a bit of fun, the performances were fine, and it was just a harmless little contemporary fantasy to pass 90 minutes.
1986 Movie Reviews will continue on Jan. 24, 2026, with My Chauffeur.
Movie Reviews
A New Dawn Anime Film Review
Perhaps there’s a certain irony in a story about a fireworks factory mostly keeping away from explosive drama. Yoshitoshi Shinomiya‘s lowkey feature directorial debut A New Dawn is at the very least visually captivating, comprised of lush and rather hypnotic production design. The story is small scale focusing on a trio of friends who try to save a fireworks factory in their hometown, but the imagery feels expansive and lush. A New Dawn begins with a beautiful and vaguely familiar display of this beauty: the flowing, painterly imagery of its opening sequence recalls Shinomiya’s work on the flashback sequence in Makoto Shinkai‘s your name., immediately showing that the film’s visuals might transcend its small town drama.
A background artist himself on films by Makoto Shinkai as well as the similarly resplendent Pompo: The Cinéphile, it makes sense that this history would be felt in the background works of A New Dawn. They’re dense with detail, rich with almost luminous color and illustrative texture. Shinomiya, who also wrote and storyboarded the film, veers away from the photorealism associated with someone like Shinkai through some impressionist touches – like the splotches of green paint which represent treelines – which sometimes turns into outright abstraction like when a character begins to run through the space. Sometimes there are swaying, morphing textures in the background as splotches of paint subtly shift around. On a more intimate level, the cluttered and characterful interior spaces tell a story too. This is a long-winded way of saying A New Dawn looks really, really good.
It’s not just in the tableaux of its countryside habitats and ramshackle living spaces carved out of abandoned warehouses, but there’s a sense of invention permeating through A New Dawn‘s various experiments with visual languages of animation. The most prominent is an incredibly charming stop motion animated sequence using a cardboard diorama and real human hands invading the shot in a creative reflection of a drunken character’s perspective. Even though it broadly still looks “anime” through its character design, there are also smaller details which work to set A New Dawn apart from its contemporaries, touches like its occasional lineless artwork or the way rain is defined through smudged black brushstrokes.
It’s in the screenwriting where A New Dawn begins to feel more run of the mill. Its story about the constant chasing of the majesty of a fabled firework “Shuhari” feels both familiar in its premise but also a little bit alienating in its structure. The importance of the firework itself never feels clear – the moment its mystery is unravelled hardly feels like a revelation as a result, something amplified by how the writing often obfuscates what anyone is talking about. The whole story feels a little distancing, and despite the allure of the background art and design of the spaces the characters inhabit, the people themselves feel constantly at arms length.
It almost pulls things back with its climax – the detonation of the “Shuhari” goes a long way in justifying the circular conversations about its nature and origins – a painted streak of light launches into the sky before turning into something otherworldly, suddenly tripling down on the film’s captivating exaggerations.
Movie Reviews
Hollywood Pariah Kevin Spacey Opens in a Straight to Video Movie with 25 Producers, 1 Review, No Theaters, No Press – Showbiz411
As we know, Kevin Spacey is a pariah in Hollywood.
He’s in a rare club with Mel Gibson, Armie Hammer, Nate Parker, Jonathan Majors, and James Franco.
Spacey has managed to avoid jail time by reaching settlements with various accusers of sexual malfeasance, all men.
His film career — which included two Oscars and a Tony Award — has been destroyed.
Spacey has been reduced to appearing in straight to video films, made for whatever reason the various producers involved know only to themselves.
On Friday, a new Spacey movie surfaced against its will, but not in theaters. It also went straight to video. “1780” is a period piece set during the Revolutionary War. Spacey plays a toothless Pennsylvania country trapper.
There is no rating on Rotten Tomatoes, largely because there is only one review. The review by Alan Ng of Film Threat is positive. Ng recently reviewed “World War Bigfoot,” which he also liked. He seems to specialize in reviewing films no one has heard of.
“1780” does boast 25 producers who will probably not see a return on their investment. But they can say they made a movie with Kevin Spacey.
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Movie Reviews
‘House of Criticism’ Review: A Pensive and Touching Portrait of Married Art Critics Jerry Saltz and Roberta Smith (It Is Only, at Moments, a True-Life Christopher Guest Movie)
If you wanted to be funny about it, you could say that Jerry Saltz and Roberta Smith, who occupy the center of the documentary “House of Criticism,” are like characters out of a Christopher Guest movie. Both are venerable New York art critics — but the thing is, they’re married New York art critics, whose lives revolve entirely around art and art criticism and talking about art and art criticism. They eat, breathe, sleep and dream it. In the Guest mockumentary of my imagination, the two would be played by Bob Balaban and Parker Posey, and they would be blissfully cracked egghead eccentrics who think that art is the most important thing in the world because it’s the most important thing in the world to them.
At moments, “House of Criticism” does throw off unintentional comic sparks of art-world insularity. But I’m kidding, ultimately, since underneath that it’s a pensive and touching documentary, and it happens to be about two writers I greatly admire. Roberta Smith, the co-chief art critic of the New York Times, and Jerry Saltz, the art critic of New York magazine, are writers of sway, elegance, legend. They’re two of the last powerful legacy critics in America, and both are fantastic writers. For them, the love of art is a mission, at once sophisticated and childlike. Roberta calls art “the most advanced operating system that our species has devised to explore consciousness, the seen and the unseeable.” The way art connects (and saves) these two on a daily basis is its own rarefied story, and it speaks to a certain vanishing culture of passionate New York literary brainiacs that used to be thought of as almost the essence of the city.
Early on, Jerry stands before Picasso’s epochal Les Demoiselles d’Avignon at the Museum of Modern Art and does a head-spinning riff on it, describing how 500 years of art history collapsed in the late 19th century (through Manet, the Impressionists, Van Gogh, Cezanne), leaving the blank slate for Picasso to fill. He compares the way the painting remade the world to the cataclysm of 9/11 (“When we believed in one course of history, and obviously there was another course of history, and they shattered”). Now that’s criticism.
As “House of Criticism” shows us, Jerry Saltz and Roberta Smith are luminaries and survivors who enjoy an idealized life together. Roberta is something of a contradiction, both the haughtier and more vulnerable of the two. She can be imperious in that Timesian way, but there’s a tremulous insecurity about her. Beneath a certain Midwestern patrician rigor, she’s full of self-doubt about her writing and is in constant need of encouragement, which Jerry is more than happy to provide. He’s blustery and big picture-oriented, while her insights are more delicate and intimate, blooming out of her holy communion with the work.
Jerry is a contradiction as well, a man who writes like a demon and looks like a dentist. But don’t let his fubsy aura fool you — he’s the social butterfly and loose cannon, plugged into social media (which he plays like a violin), and the audacious thoughts pour out of him. The most telling aspect of their relationship is that as writers they should be competitors, but instead they’re spiritual collaborators; they turn what could be a competition into a romance. They help each other on word choices, and even when they’re reviewing the same show, they’re really competing with themselves, with their own cultivated and highly different ideas of perfectionism.
Their relationship is built, to a large degree, around Jerry’s belief that Roberta is the superior critic — but this, for Jerry, is a form of chivalry, the flower of their love story. “Your writing is so condensed, right on the object, focused,” he says. He’s intensely supportive, but Jerry, who won the Pulitzer Prize for criticism in 2018, is arguably the greater writer (his poetic showmanship flies higher), and it’s my reading that deep down he knows it. It’s his perpetual self-deprecation and devotion that keeps the marriage balanced.
The two have no children and no apparent hobbies outside of their unrelenting obsession with art. They slip in and out of gallery openings, where they’re treated like royalty, and they attend 20 to 30 shows a week. By all rights, they should have a social calendar that rivals Andy Warhol’s in the ’70s. But here’s the joke: They adore their life together but are so devoted to their work, so monastic about it, that they never go out. Jerry calls them “happy losers” and describes their spacious apartment off Fifth Avenue in Greenwich Village as “the house that criticism built.”
In the morning, he pours deli coffee over ice into a 7-11 Big Gulp cup, and he’ll consume three of those a day. It’s fuel, as is the food he eats. When his friend Adam Platt, the New York magazine restaurant critic, asks Jerry what his favorite food is, Jerry replies: the grilled chicken at Gristede’s (a slightly downscale New York supermarket). “That’s the life of the mind!” says Platt. “You’re as happy with prison food.” He’s not kidding. I live in the same neighborhood and use Gristede’s as a convenience store, and I would never consider buying the grilled chicken there. But as Jerry explains, popping a bag of spinach into the microwave, he and Roberta are so consumed with work that they subsist on this drone food. The two barely go to restaurants (though we see them having breakfast at their favorite diner). Do they drink? If I was them, I’d need a cocktail by the end of the day, but the movie never says.
“House of Criticism,” directed by Alison Chernick, has a sketchy but rather controlled vantage. There’s a lot you don’t learn (I would have liked to see more about the politics of the New York art world), and plenty you do — like the fact that Lena Dunham is their goddaughter. Late in the movie, she comes over to visit them and provokes a penetrating exchange on the subject of why they never had kids.
People don’t often think of critics in humanistic terms, but these two invest criticism with soul, and there’s something disarming about how they were both damaged people who came together by seeing, in each other, a mirror image. She was born in New York and raised in Kansas, moving back to Manhattan in her early twenties to be part of the art scene (her mentor was the artist and critic Donald Judd). She found her way to criticism as a role in life, yet there was something metaphysically lonely about her.
It’s Jerry who comes from trauma. His mother, who committed suicide when he was 10, was erased out of his life (she was never spoken of again). He tells a haunting story about how she dropped him off for a solo visit to the Art Institute of Chicago just two weeks before her death, and it was there, on that visit, that the art lightbulb went off: He realized that every painting is a story. He wanted to be a painter, and tried (he had some talent), but thought that he lacked the proper schooling. What he really lacked was confidence. In photographs from the time, Jerry looks like he could be Richard Dreyfuss’s sad-sack brother. He wound up becoming a long-distance trucker, driving 10-wheelers full of paintings (he did this for 10 years), and he confesses that at moments he would go back into the truck and stomp on paintings and damage them. That is seriously sick behavior (his self-hatred was off the charts), and it’s amazing that he became the menschy person he did.
These two have thrived as critics by evolving. Jerry says of critics, “We have to adapt to the times, or we’re bullies and geezers.” He’s right. The film culminates in Roberta’s ultimate evolution — her decision to retire from the New York Times. The time feels right, but the question hovers: Without that job, what will her identity be? In a moving moment, she tells Jerry, “You’re my infrastructure.” “You’re mine,” he says. (That’s the critic version of “You complete me.”) And seeing each other through the prism of art is both of their infrastructure. These two are standard-bearers for the glory of a culture that once was. It’s a culture where criticism is about judging things, but more than that it’s about exploring things — experiencing things, bringing you closer to life.
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