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You read it here first: 22 predictions for the 2025 men’s golf season

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You read it here first: 22 predictions for the 2025 men’s golf season

The PGA Tour season begins Thursday at The Sentry in Hawaii, with many of the top players in the world — but not an injured Scottie Scheffler — playing the obscenely hilly Plantation Course at Kapalua. So let’s have some fun. Here’s what will happen in golf in 2025.

Jon Rahm wins a major: There’s a middle ground between “Yeah, Rahm didn’t emotionally handle the criticism from his LIV departure well,” and “Rahm is still one of the three or four best golfers in the world.”

He had a strange, frustrating major campaign. That included missing Pinehurst with a foot infection. But take a look at the whole year. You’re welcome to downplay LIV results, but at some point, you’re just playing golf. Ten top fives. He should have won an Olympic gold medal but gave it away. He’s still Jon Rahm. He’s just getting over the change from being loved to being criticized.

Scottie Scheffler remains the best golfer, but the honeymoon ends: People are going to start getting irrational. He’s going to remain the clear best player. He’ll rack up top fives and top 10s and win multiple tournaments. He might even win a major!

But it’s going to be the year the masses start forgetting that nobody wins at Tiger Woods levels in this era, and they might never again. It will become, “Oh, Scottie, why aren’t you winning more majors?” … “Oh, Scottie, is your hand bothering you?” … “What’s up with the putting?” each time he finishes third instead of winning. Because that’s his standard now. The discourse will take the horrible transition from the coronation of 2024 to the unfair new expectations of 2025.

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A repeat strange run of early winners: Last year, the entire start of the year was filled with journeyman winners or super-young surprises. This year will be the same.

Everything for the top stars will be about easing into form for the majors, and you’ll see tournaments like the Sony, the American Express, Torrey Pines and others won by cool rising studs like Max Greyserman or grinders like Denny McCarthy, and we’ll have the same conversation we had in March before all the top stars went on runs.

A PGA Tour-LIV deal will still not be finalized: But! Reports of an agreement will come out early in 2025. We just won’t get any details or real information until it goes through government approval, which will drag on until 2026.

Viktor Hovland will work with many more coaches: At the time this was typed, Hovland told a European outlet he is no longer working with coach Joe Mayo. After the wild 2024 season of Hovland working with four different instructors (that we know of), he’ll have another bizarre year of tinkering and trying to have the perfect season. It will be a better year than 2024, but still not near what we hoped in fall 2023 when he looked like the best player in the year.

Justin Thomas will have a big year: (We talked about this already).

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Jordan Spieth will not: Wrist injuries are tough!

The Waste Management Open will be much less chaotic: It jumped the shark last year, and now tournament organizers know they have to rein it in or players will stop wanting to come.

The Ryder Cup will be more chaotic than ever: After hat-gate. After LIV drama. After events like the Waste Management and the general American golf social media culture only make the heckling, bro-ey, debaucherous fan experience seem like something to strive for to large chunks of the population — on top of the very real conversation already happening about the New York crowds at Bethpage being unruly — and the U.S. fans will play up to the fears. They’ll treat it as a challenge, and it will lead to a chaotic Ryder Cup week that goes perhaps too far. Something bad might happen.

A Højgaard will win a PGA Tour event: But not the one you think.

Bryson DeChambeau won’t have quite the same major success: DeChambeau as a top-10 golfer is here to stay. But there is a gap between DeChambeau’s returning to form and the discussion that he’s in the same conversation as Scheffler, Xander Schauffele or Rory McIlroy. He’s not quite in that group, and he won’t have a major top five.

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Collin Morikawa again takes his place in golf’s top tier: Morikawa was the best golfer nobody talked about last year. He had 14 top 20s and seven top fives. He played in the final Sunday group at the Masters and the PGA Championship. He finished second behind Scheffler at the Tour Championship. He was as steady as anyone not named Scheffler or Schauffele. But he didn’t win once, and those Sunday struggles at Augusta and Valhalla were concerning.

But in 2025, Morikawa will win more tournaments than Schauffele or McIlroy. There’s always a mini-pantheon at the top of golf each year. In 2023, it was Rahm, Scheffler, McIlroy and Hovland. In 2024, it was Scheffler, Schauffele, McIlroy and arguably DeChambeau. In 2025, it will be Scheffler, Rahm, Schauffele and Morikawa. The question is, will Morikawa win a major?


Scottie Scheffler, left, winner of the 2024 Masters Tournament, sits with Jon Rahm at the Green Jacket Ceremony. (Warren Little / Getty Images)

Xander Schauffele wins the green jacket: This is the only specific prediction we’ll make. It’s golf. Predicting specific tournaments is nonsense. But Schauffele is suddenly a guy you know you have to fear in majors, and Augusta is the one major he plays best at. He’s gone T2, T3, 8, T10. And now he knows how to win. Schauffele wins a competitive Masters, and suddenly people will be recontextualizing his going from no majors to three in four starts. (Then, he won’t win again for a bit.)

Sam Burns plays in two major final Sunday pairings: He doesn’t win.

Quail Hollow will strangely deliver: Quail Hollow has become one of the more dunked-on big courses in the U.S., which will only increase at this year’s PGA Championship. The reason is probably just overexposure. It has an annual PGA Tour event. It hosted the 2022 Presidents Cup. And a lot of golf nerds just don’t like it. But it tends to create great winners and good golf tournaments, and Quail will give us a strangely riveting PGA that leads to some referendums on what we use to determine “good” professional courses.

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Much will be written about Oakmont returning us to above-par U.S. Opens: It will not. That is just not how the USGA seems to set up the U.S. Opens anymore. Somebody will win at 8-under. The majority of the field will be above par, and it will be an incredible Open, playing with the perfect mix of risk and reward, but most of the contenders actually shoot below par most days.

Rory McIlroy does not win a major: I’m sorry. Pinehurst pushed me too far. I cannot predict it until it happens.

Brooks Koepka and Jordan Spieth will be left off the Ryder Cup team: Neither will play well enough to truly be in contention at all, leaving captain Keegan Bradley’s hands tied.

Aaron Rai makes the Ryder Cup team: There’s always one or two “Huh, really?” golfers on the European team, and this year it will be an Englishman who can play some of the hottest rounds on tour. He’s an exceptional ball striker and has been around for a long time. He’ll be this year’s version of Russell Henley on the U.S. Presidents Cup team. Speaking of …

Russell Henley remains the Scheffler partner: Henley and Scheffler were a surprisingly perfect pairing at Royal Montreal, and Bradley was on the team to see it up close. He sticks with it, and they still thrive.

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Keegan Bradley will play well enough to earn a captain’s pick, but he won’t do it: Chaos prediction! Bradley will end the year as one of the seven to 12 best American players and put himself in a position to easily make the team most years, but he’ll be so focused on not being the guy who picked himself he will leave himself off. And the man he does pick instead will end up being what costs the U.S. Bradley’s selflessness will be his most criticized choice.

That’s right. The U.S. loses on home soil: After the last few years when the golf world has seemed to conclude the Ryder Cup is broken because nobody can ever win overseas anymore, the Europeans will knock off a messy U.S. team at Bethpage.

The world will melt down.

(Top photo of Collin Morikawa, right, with Patrick Cantlay: Sarah Stier / Getty Images)

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Culture

Marie Winn, Who Wrote of a Famous Central Park Hawk, Dies at 88

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Marie Winn, Who Wrote of a Famous Central Park Hawk, Dies at 88

Marie Winn, the author who chronicled the avian sensation Pale Male, a red-tailed hawk that took up residence on the overhang of an Upper East Side apartment building only to be evicted in 2004, sparking protests by birders who had been thrilled to watch him woo lovers with disemboweled rats, died on Dec. 25 in Manhattan. She was 88.

Her death, at a hospital, was confirmed by her son Michael Miller.

After publishing several books in the 1970s and ’80s about the changing nature of childhood, Ms. Winn began writing a column on mother nature for The Wall Street Journal in 1989, a career turn that eventually put her at the center of an only-in-New-York-City melodrama.

It began in Central Park, where Ms. Winn started bird watching in 1991, the year an unusual-looking red-tailed hawk arrived from places unknown.

Instead of the dark brown features that typically mark red-tail hawks, this one had light-colored plumage. Ms. Winn named the curious fellow Pale Male. She and other bird watchers of Central Park — “the Regulars,” as Ms. Winn called them — followed him everywhere.

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“Shortly after his arrival in Central Park,” she wrote in her book “Red-Tails in Love: A Wildlife Drama in Central Park” (1998), “Pale Male had discovered a hunting ground that was to become his favorite: an area near the park entrance at Fifth Avenue and 79th Street — the killing corner, as the Regulars dubbed it.”

Every day, a man fed a flock of pigeons there. Pale Male watched from a chimney.

“Peering down intently, Pale Male would search out one that was imperceptibly slower, clumsier, stupider,” Ms. Winn wrote. “Then he would plummet down in that breathtaking dive falconers call a stoop. Bingo.”

Pale Male liked the neighborhood so much that he decided to settle at 927 Fifth Avenue, a 12-story luxury apartment building near the corner of East 74th Street. The building, which has a view of Central Park, was also home to the actress Mary Tyler Moore. Pale Male did most of his mating on the 12th-floor cornice. He also occasionally vacationed at a building nearby, on Woody Allen’s penthouse terrace.

Ms. Winn and “the Regulars” were consumed by Pale Male’s romantic life, naming his succession of girlfriends First Love, Chocolate and Blue. The birders sat on a bench outside the park with binoculars waiting for action, shouting, “They’re doing it!” when they were doing it.

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There was heartbreak, too. First Love “ate a poisoned pigeon and died on a ledge of the Metropolitan Museum,” Ms. Winn wrote in The Wall Street Journal. Chocolate, she added, died in “a collision on the New Jersey Turnpike.”

But perhaps the most lamentable event in Pale Male’s life occurred in December 2004, when the co-op board at 927 Fifth Avenue, fed up with rat carcasses and bird droppings falling to the building’s front sidewalk, voted to remove Pale Male’s nest, upending his courtship of his new consort, Lola.

Protests outside the building attracted national media attention.

“I’m restraining myself, Margot, from being obscene,” Ms. Winn said on NPR’s “All Things Considered,” addressing the interviewer, Margot Adler. “I’m so angry about this.”

So was Mary Tyler Moore.

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“These birds just kept coming back to the edge of the building, and people kept coming back to see them,” she told The New York Times, adding, “This was something we like to talk about: a kinder, gentler world, and now it’s gone.”

New York City residents expressed their dismay via the 2004 version of Twitter — letters to the editor.

The hawks were “all about location, location, location: what a view they had of the park, and what a view we had of them,” Matthew Wills of Brooklyn wrote to The Times. “Like those who destroy a landmark in the middle of the night, those responsible for destroying the nest at 927 Fifth Avenue have shown their contempt for the city they call home.”

A week later, in response to pressure from the National Audubon Society, the co-op board reversed its decision. On the morning of Dec. 28, workers removed an apparatus on the landing that had prevented the hawks from alighting.

“In no time at all Pale Male and Lola landed on the nest site,” Ms. Winn wrote. “Later that afternoon Lola was seen bringing a new twig to the nest.”

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Marie Wienerova was born on Oct. 21, 1936, in Prague. Her father, Josef Wiener, was a doctor. Her mother, Hanna Taussigova, was a lawyer and later a broadcaster. After emigrating to New York City in 1939, her parents changed their names to Joseph and Joan Winn.

Marie Winn attended Radcliffe College and graduated from the University of Columbia School of General Studies in 1959. She became a freelance journalist, contributing articles to The Times and other publications.

She married Allan Miller, a filmmaker, in 1961.

As they started a family, Ms. Winn began publishing books for young readers, including “The Fireside Book of Children’s Songs” (1966), for which her husband wrote the musical arrangements; “The Man Who Made Fine Tops: A Story About Why People Do Different Kinds of Work” (1970); and “The Sick Book: Questions and Answers About Hiccups and Mumps, Sneezes and Bumps, and Other Things That Go Wrong with Us” (1976).

In 1977, Ms. Winn wrote “The Plug-in Drug: Television, Children and the Family,” a social critique about TV’s role in the home. The book was widely praised. Writing in The Times Book Review, the television critic Stephanie Harrington called it a “multiple warhead launched against the great American pacifier.”

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Ms. Winn followed with “Children Without Childhood: Growing Up Too Fast in the World of Sex and Drugs” (1983) and “Unplugging the Plug-in Drug” (1987), a sequel to her earlier book.

She also translated works by Czech writers, including Vaclav Havel, the playwright and last president of Czechoslovakia.

Along with her son Michael, Ms. Winn is survived by her husband; another son, Steven; and four grandchildren. Her sister, The New Yorker writer Janet Malcolm, died in 2021.

A red-tailed hawk believed to be Pale Male was found sick not far from 927 Fifth Avenue in 2023 and died a short time later.

Ms. Winn returned to nature writing in 2008 with “Central Park in the Dark: More Mysteries of Urban Wildlife,” writing delightfully, reviewers said, about moths, cicadas and screech owls. She also reflected on how Pale Male had became, in her opinion, “the first avian superstar.”

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“Pale Male — the very name was a crucial ingredient in creating this hawk’s celebrity. It fell trippingly from the tongue,” she wrote. “People liked to say it — Pale Male.”

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Celine Haidar, the Lebanon player struck by shrapnel, has loved ones ‘waiting for her to come back to life’

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Celine Haidar, the Lebanon player struck by shrapnel, has loved ones ‘waiting for her to come back to life’

Celine Haidar dances on the upper deck of a crimson open-top bus. Around the 19-year-old midfielder, team-mates sing. A flag bearing the Beirut Football Academy (BFA) crest sways to an undirected melody of car horns, drums and mini trumpets.

It is August 10, 2024. Celine’s BFA team are celebrating their first Lebanese Women’s Football League title, achieved in a flawless, unbeaten season which reached its climax earlier that day.

But there are other noises too — the hum of Israeli fighter jets crawling above and the echo of bombs — while around the bus piles of concrete and twisted metal poke upwards into the sky.

Here, in Lebanon’s capital, life has been delineated by similar sounds and sights of conflict for decades. But they have been ever-present since Hezbollah, the Iran-backed Shiite militia based across southern Lebanon, began attacking Israel in solidarity with its ally Hamas — the Palestinian militant group in Gaza that led the October 7, 2023 attack on Israel.

But on August 10, Celine and her team-mates choose to make their own noise. In the car behind them, Celine’s father, Abbas, honks the horn with unbridled pride, prompting the cars behind to follow suit.

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“We had been running from the bombing, the war,” Abbas tells The Athletic from Beirut via video call, with the help of a translator. “But they had a final to play. I told Celine I wanted to be there, despite the sirens, because they chose to play despite the sirens. They won, and we marched in Beirut, with joy and horns and pride.”

In a city accustomed to the wail of air raid sirens, it was a rare moment of rhapsody. Four months later, it would become an emotional buoy from which to cling.

Across October and November 2024, Israel ramped up its pursuit of Hezbollah agents. Civilians, including Celine and her family, evacuated Beirut’s suburbs and sought refuge in Baakline, a village in the Chouf Mountains outside the capital. On November 15, during a lull in the shelling, Celine returned to Beirut to train and work. The following day, Israel issued an evacuation order. While mounting her motorcycle preparing to leave, Celine was struck on the right side of her head by a piece of shrapnel.

Footage of the incident was shared on social media. In it, Celine can be seen wearing white trousers, white trainers and a light green jacket. She lies on a floor of amber tiles, surrounded by still-settling rubble. There is blood on her face. Her long light brown hair spools into a swelling red puddle around her. A man’s desperate screams fill the space.

After two months, Celine underwent throat surgery on December 20 and, finally, is out of a coma. But she cannot move or speak and she rarely registers sounds around her.

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News of the incident travelled around the globe, igniting outrage and sorrow. Celine, a burgeoning star with Lebanon’s national team, became a symbol of the war’s destruction.

For her parents, Abbas and Saana, there is only anguish. They know they are not unique in this setting. More than 3,700 have been killed and 16,000 injured in Lebanon since 2023, according to the Lebanese health ministry, which does not differentiate between combatants and civilians. The conflict is the country’s deadliest in three decades. According to New York Times reporting, it has displaced more than one million people, crippled the economy and left schools, farms, businesses and hospitals in ruins. In Israel, dozens living in frontline communities in the north near the Lebanese border have been killed, with more than 60,000 civilians uprooted. A 60-day ceasefire, agreed in late November, is into its final 30 days.

“We’ve spent all our lives holding our children, hiding them from war, protecting them,” says Abbas, who has witnessed conflict throughout his life in Lebanon.

“We paid a big war tax, a blood tax for our daughters. So, what do we do? What did we do wrong? We only live to raise our children, to make their dreams come true. Celine was beginning her life, building step by step with football. This injury cut off her journey. I hope this experience is passed on.”


Celine Haidar was at the start of what she hoped would be a long and successful career (Samer Barbary/Beirut Football Academy)

For those who know Celine, two things repeatedly come to mind: her irrepressible smile and her incorrigible fight.

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“When we think of Celine, the first thing that comes to mind is the life she brought,” says Saana. “Her spirit, her humour, her toughness, her stubbornness. We miss how she fills the house.”

The youngest of three children, Celine followed a direction only she knew, wearing the clothes and pursuing the hobbies she wanted. While devoutly religious, her zeal for life sometimes grated against Lebanon’s historic conservatism, particularly as she pursued football, a traditionally male enterprise (the nation has only one women’s league, with teams regularly folding).

Yet neither Abbas nor Saana felt they should, or could, stand in her way.

“Celine is Celine, she wants her life as she wants it,” says Abbas. “She can take what she wants and do what she wants. Yes, I give her this opportunity, as I don’t see a difference between girls and boys, but she does not need to take it from me. She did what she wanted with the strength of her personality.”

What Celine wanted most was football. She idolises Cristiano Ronaldo, whose Manchester United shirt remains draped over a chair in her bedroom. Days were spent on fields, honing her trade with the local boys. Her visions were grand: make the Lebanese national team, perhaps move to the United States, eventually open an academy.

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At 17, shortly after helping Lebanon’s Under-18s to glory in the West Asian Cup — just the second time in the team’s history they achieved the feat — Celine was offered to BFA after her previous side, SC Safa, was dismantled. Head coach Samer Barbary initially declined the opportunity. He had midfielders, good ones. And a reputation preceded Celine.

“I’m a very strict coach. I’d heard she was stubborn,” Barbary says, talking via video call in December. “I didn’t think we’d get along.”

Celine, predictably, disagreed.

“She texted me,” Barbary says, a smile sneaking across his face. “‘Coach, I hear you don’t want me but I want to play so you’ll have to take me’. I said, ‘Fine, training is at 6:45 tonight.’ And we began this beautiful journey together.”

In her first two seasons with BFA, Celine helped the club win the under-19 title and a first senior league championship in the 2023-24 season, making 33 top-flight appearances in total.

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Celine Haidar (on a team-mate’s shoulders, centre left) celebrates winning the under-19 title in 2023 (Samer Barbary/Beirut Football Academy)

The increasing consistency of her performances, married with her vision and insatiable aggression, earned her a new reputation as one of Lebanon’s best central midfielders, a “prodigy” according to Barbary. Despite her age, she was a pillar of BFA, wearing the captain’s armband for part of the title-winning campaign.

“They called her ‘Little Captain’, because she was smaller than all of them (about 5ft 5ins, 165cm) but she could lead,” Saana says, lifting her chin high as tears prickle her eyes.

Four times Celine was called into the senior Lebanon national team. With a fair wind, her course was unstoppable: a senior cap, a move abroad, maybe a major tournament.

The day Barbary speaks with The Athletic in late November, Celine should be attending the second day of a coaching course. For Barbary, it is another reminder of how abruptly life has been altered.

“She just needed to keep going,” Barbary says, an ache creeping into his voice. “We were planning on doing this. She was always smiling, always laughing. I just hope she gets that smile back. And she will be my captain again. We are waiting for her to come back to life, for her to be normal or to live a normal life as much as she can. Because they killed her dream.”

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Abbas and Saana never feared their daughter’s spirit might cause her problems. “The only thing we were afraid of for her was war,” Abbas says.

Conflict was never far away in Lebanon, but in October 2023 their fears grew. Barbary rattles off a list of moments that will not leave him. A day in September when players and coaches hit the floor as Israel continued its two-week offensive targeting Sheikh Hassan Nasrallah, the former leader of Lebanon’s militant Shia Islamist movement (Israel later confirmed his assassination). A day in November when an under-8s and under-12s session was interrupted by bombs.

“The kids began laughing,” Barbary says. “They had become used to the sound. We don’t want kids to get used to the sound.”

The Lebanese Football Association (LFA) postponed all football matches in its affiliated tournaments in late September. But Celine refused to allow the war to disrupt her trajectory. Between evacuation notices, she left the mountains to train in what was considered a safe corner of the capital. Sirens signalled her return to life in the mountains. This was life’s cycle.

But on November 16, the cycle did not repeat. Instead, sirens wailed and Celine’s parents did not hear from her. Saana called Abbas, who was at work, and told him to find her.

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“They were 500 metres away from each other (when the bombs began),” says Saana. A friend called, choking out the message that Celine was hurt. Saana asked where Celine was, her way of attempting to ask the question burning in her throat: how hurt?

“That question, you don’t even dare to ask,” Saana says. Tears stain her cheeks.

Saana was told Celine sustained a head injury and was going to Saint George Hospital in Hadath. Saana could not leave Baakline until the shelling stopped. When she finally arrived, she barged into the emergency room where her daughter lay in an induced coma.

“I saw the doctor cutting her hair off,” Saana says. “I saw her face. It was all blood. She had a gash in her head. They were cutting into it, to save her.”

Bombs continued to fall, eventually striking the hospital. Celine was moved to Saint George Hospital University Medical Center in Achrafieh following a conversation between the president of the BFA and the Lebanese health minister. Another surgery was required to stabilise her condition, before breathing tubes and prayers were assembled around her.

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“I pray I was the one injured,” Abbas says. “I pray for the pain to return to me instead.”

Barbary, who travels daily to Celine’s bedside, took her BFA team-mates to visit her the following Monday. In the hospital lobby, he held a meeting.

“I told them it’s a situation we cannot erase, so we have to continue fighting,” Barbary says. “Because she doesn’t want anyone to stop. When she comes back, when she wakes up, if she can play, she wants to come back to the team playing. Every day we are training and playing for Celine. This is our objective now. We’ll be waiting for her.”

That week at BFA’s training ground, a poster of Celine was erected above the pitches, a reminder of their mission.


The Celine banner is prominent as the players train (Samer Barbary/Beirut Football Academy)

Days are divided into a rota, Abbas, Saana and her elder sister Carole taking shifts to ensure Celine is never alone (Celine’s elder brother works in Africa). Coaches and friends flitter in and out. They check her temperature. They hold her hand. They speak to her about life, about football, about anything.

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“I dedicate my life to Celine,” says Abbas, who no longer goes to work. “All day, I am next to her at the hospital. All my effort in my life is for her, so that she recovers.”

In the scant hours he and Saana are home, sleep does not come.

On occasion, one of Celine’s eyes will open. Her hand will move. But progress is staggered. Complications with the sodium in her blood led to early issues. Sustenance arrived via a feeding tube. One month after the injury, the oxygen machine was removed. Days later, Celine was forced to undergo an emergency tracheostomy, a surgical procedure that creates an opening in the neck to aid breathing.

The refrain is the same among friends and families: Celine is a fighter. But a full recovery requires medical procedures unavailable in Lebanon’s limited healthcare system, leaving her family at the mercy of charity.

“We are hoping someone can read this and help us,” Saana says. “Because we need, God willing, help.”

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Celine’s story, with the graphic video of her injury and its dissemination on social media, grabbed global headlines.

Lili Iskandar, a Lebanon national team-mate who plays for Saudi Arabian side Al-Ittihad, suggests the reason this particular story gained such attention is Celine’s ubiquity: a young person with a life ahead of her.

“When I heard what happened, I thought, I can be her. Anyone can be her,” says Iskandar. “My sister (who lives in Lebanon) sends me texts, saying, ‘I don’t want to die. I’m so scared.’ People ask me in Saudi, why don’t my family join me? The intention is nice, but why is the question always about us leaving our home? Why is the question not about the war leaving us?”

The news of the 60-day ceasefire between Israel and Hezbollah, agreed 10 days after Celine’s injury, is welcomed, particularly as Lebanon continues to grapple with a prolonged economic crisis exacerbated by war, political stagnation and the Covid-19 pandemic. But the truce is fragile.

Celine’s family recognise the temptation for some to paint their daughter as a symbol. But they want her to be recognised as Celine: their headstrong little girl who loves football, who “rose from nothing” to wear the Lebanese crest, who loves Ronaldo and Real Madrid, who travels to Egyptian beaches to feel the ocean run between her toes, whose grey long-haired cat still saunters into her room searching for her. She is their youngest child who moved them to a new home to keep them safe during the war, despite the job of protector technically belonging to them.

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In this light, they say, Celine’s story cannot be written as a condition of war but a tragedy of it.

“I want to send a message to all the people who love peace and sports,” says Abbas. “Wars are pure losses for all parties. I hope there won’t be wars. Celine had big ambition. This ambition was killed. But let’s use this moment to give the message that it doesn’t matter your religion, your ethnicity. We’re all human beings. We deserve to have our dreams.”

(Photos: Samer Barbary/Beirut Football Academy; design: Eamonn Dalton)

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Could Monkeys Really Type All of Shakespeare?

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Could Monkeys Really Type All of Shakespeare?

Science doesn’t usually tolerate frivolity, but the infinite monkey theorem enjoys an exception. The question it poses is thoroughly outlandish: Could an infinite number of monkeys, each given an infinite amount of time to peck away at a typewriter (stocked with an infinite supply of paper, presumably) eventually produce, by pure chance, the complete works of William Shakespeare?

The problem was first described in a 1913 paper by the French mathematician Émile Borel, a pioneer of probability theory. As modernity opened new scientific fronts, approaches to the theorem also evolved. Today, the problem pulls in computer science and astrophysics, among other disciplines.

In 1979, The New York Times reported on a Yale professor who, using a computer program to try to prove this “venerable hypothesis,” managed to produce “startlingly intelligible, if not quite Shakespearean” strings of text. In 2003, British scientists put a computer into a monkey cage at the Paignton Zoo. The outcome was “five pages of text, primarily filled with the letter S,” according to news reports. In 2011, Jesse Anderson, an American programmer, ran a computer simulation with much better results, albeit under conditions that — like the Yale professor’s — mitigated chance.

A new paper by Stephen Woodcock, a mathematician at the University of Technology Sydney, suggests that those efforts may have been for naught: It concludes that there is simply not enough time until the universe expires for a defined number of hypothetical primates to produce a faithful reproduction of “Curious George,” let alone “King Lear.” Don’t worry, scientists believe that we still have googol years — 10¹⁰⁰, or 1 followed by 100 zeros — until the lights go out. But when the end does come, the typing monkeys will have made no more progress than their counterparts at the Paignton Zoo, according to Dr. Woodcock.

“It’s not happening,” Dr. Woodcock said in an interview. The odds of a monkey typing out the first word of Hamlet’s famous “To be or not to be” soliloquy on a 30-key keyboard was 1 in 900, he said. Not bad, one could argue — but every new letter offers 29 fresh opportunities for error. The chances of a monkey spelling out “banana” are “approximately 1 in 22 billion,” Dr. Woodcock said.

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The idea for the paper came to Dr. Woodcock during a lunchtime discussion with Jay Falletta, a water-usage researcher at the University of Technology Sydney. The two were working on a project about washing machines, which strain Australia’s extremely limited water resources. They were “a little bit bored” by the task, Dr. Woodcock acknowledged. (Mr. Falletta is a co-author on the new paper.)

If resources for washing clothes are limited, why shouldn’t typing monkeys be similarly constrained? By neglecting to impose a time or monkey limit on the experiment, the infinite monkey theorem essentially contains its own cheat code. Dr. Woodcock, on the other hand, opted for a semblance of reality — or as much reality as a scenario featuring monkeys trying to write in iambic pentameter would allow — in order to say something about the interplay of order and chaos in the real world.

Even if the life span of the universe were extended billions of times, the monkeys would still not accomplish the task, the researchers concluded. Their paper calls the infinite monkey theorem “misleading” in its fundamental assumptions. It is a fitting conclusion, perhaps, for a moment when human ingenuity seems to be crashing hard against natural constraints.

Low as the chances are of a monkey spelling out “banana,” they are still “an order of magnitude which is in the realm of our universe,” Dr. Woodcock said. Not so with longer material such as the children’s classic “Curious George” by Margret Rey and H.A. Rey, which contains about 1,800 words. The chances of a monkey replicating that book are 1 in 10¹⁵⁰⁰⁰ (a 1 followed by 15,000 zeros). And, at nearly 836,000 words, the collected plays of Shakespeare are about 464 times longer than “Curious George.”

“If we replaced every atom in the universe with a universe the size of ours, it would still be orders of magnitude away from making the monkey typing likely to succeed,” Dr. Woodcock said.

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Like other monkey theorem enthusiasts, Dr. Woodcock mentioned a famous episode of “The Simpsons,” in which the crusty plutocrat C. Montgomery Burns tries the experiment, only to fly into a fury when a monkey mistypes the opening sentence of Charles Dickens’s “A Tale of Two Cities.” In reality, the monkey’s achievement (“It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times”) would have been a stunning triumph over randomness.

Outside cartoons, such successes are unlikely. First, there is cosmic death to consider. Many physicists believe that in 10¹⁰⁰ years — a much larger number than it might seem in type — entropy will have caused all the heat in the universe to dissipate. Far away as that moment may be, experts do think it is coming.

Then there’s the availability of monkeys. Of the more than 250 possible species, Dr. Woodcock selected chimpanzees, our closest genomic kin, to mimic the Bard. He enlisted 200,000 — the entire population of chimps currently on Earth — until the end of time. (Optimistically, he did not to plan for the species’ dwindling or extinction. Nor did he consider constraints like the availability of paper or electricity; the study does not specify which platform the monkeys might use.)

Monkeys intent on recreating Shakespeare would also need editors, with a strict reinforcement training regimen that allowed for learning — and a lot of it, since Dr. Woodcock set each monkey’s life span at 30 years. “If it’s cumulative, obviously, you can get somewhere,” said Richard Dawkins, the evolutionary biologist, who discusses the typing monkeys in “The Blind Watchmaker,” his 1986 book about evolution. Unless the typing were “iterative,” though, Dr. Dawkins said in an interview, progress would be impossible.

The new paper has been mocked online because the authors purportedly fail to grapple with infinity. Even the paper’s title, “A numerical evaluation of the Finite Monkeys Theorem,” seems to be a mathematical bait-and-switch. Isn’t infinity a basic condition of the infinite monkey theorem?

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It shouldn’t be, Dr. Woodcock seems to be saying. “The study we did was wholly a finite calculation on a finite problem,” he wrote in an email. “The main point made was just how constrained our universe’s resources are. Mathematicians can enjoy the luxury of infinity as a concept, but if we are to draw meaning from infinite-limit results, we need to know if they have any relevance in our finite universe.”

This conclusion circles back to the French mathematician Borel, who took an unlikely turn into politics, eventually fighting against the Nazis as part of the French Resistance. It was during the war that he introduced an elegant and intuitive law that now bears his name, and which states: “Events with a sufficiently small probability never occur.” That is where Dr. Woodcock lands, too. (Mathematicians who believe the infinite monkey theorem holds true cite two related, minor theorems known as the Borel-Cantelli lemmas, developed in the prewar years.)

The new paper offers a subtle comment on the seemingly unbridled optimism of some proponents of artificial intelligence. Dr. Woodcock and Mr. Falletta note, without truly elaborating, that the monkey problem could be “very pertinent” to today’s debates about artificial intelligence.

For starters, just as the typing monkeys will never write “Twelfth Night” without superhuman editors looking over their shoulders, so increasingly powerful artificial intelligences will require increasingly intensive human input and oversight. “If you live in the real world, you have to do real-world limitation,” said Mr. Anderson, who conducted the 2011 monkey experiment.

There is no free lunch, so to speak, said Eric Werner, a research scientist who runs the Oxford Advanced Research Foundation and has studied various forms of complexity. In a 1994 paper about ants, Dr. Werner laid out a guiding principle that, in his view, applies equally well to typing monkeys and today’s language-learning models: “Complex structures can only be generated by more complex structures.” Lacking constant curation, the result will be a procession of incoherent letters or what has come to be known as “A.I. slop.”

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A monkey will never understand Hamlet’s angst or Falstaff’s bawdy humor. But the limits of A.I. cognition are less clear. “The big question in the industry is when or if A.I. will understand what it is writing,” Mr. Anderson said. “Once that happens, will A.I. be able to surpass Shakespeare in artistic merit and create something as unique as Shakespeare created?”

And when that day comes, “Do we become the monkeys to the A.I.?”

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